


Power of a Moment

by Willidan



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Explicit Language, M/M, Sexual Content, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-20
Updated: 2011-09-11
Packaged: 2017-10-17 04:02:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 105,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/172694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willidan/pseuds/Willidan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a werewolf first touches its future mate, it gets an unusual feeling and somehow knows that person will be its mate. Imagine Remus' surprise when James first hands him a baby Harry...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Before Hogwarts

**Author's Note:**

> A series of scenes from Remus' and Harry's life before Harry begins Hogwarts. The story came from a prompt from a fest years ago but was never published.

“C’mon, Moony, it’s easy.”

“Look James, I don’t want….”

“What?” James followed Remus as he backed away, his ten day old son cradled in his arms. “You won’t break him. Sirius held him and Harry survived.”

“Oh, ha ha. Thanks ever so, Prongs.” Sirius gazed at them over the top of Quidditch Monthly. “But he’s right, Moony. Don’t be a wanker.” Sirius turned his eyes back to the magazine. “And if you hold Harry he’ll stop annoying you.”

“Hey! Remus, take Harry so I can beat the crap out of Sirius.” James cornered Remus against the window and thrust Harry at him. Remus hastily wrapped his arms around the baby. James adjusted his hold, whispered brief instructions, patted Remus on the shoulder and jumped over the back of the couch where Sirius was sprawled. Remus stared after James with a slightly panicked expression until a small mew drew his attention to the baby in his arms. Remus adjusted his hold carefully, uncertain of where to place his hands, wondering at the tiny, living, real person in his arms.

And then Harry opened his eyes and looked right into Remus’.

Remus leaned against the window frame as his eyes locked with Harry’s and a wash of visions rushed over him. The images came so fast that Remus was scarcely able to discern one from another. He saw himself smiling at a teenager with brilliant green eyes and messy hair; a young man struggled against him while spells flew around them; the same young man looked down at him, his face transformed in ecstasy; an older version laughed with him before changing abruptly to an even older man with graying hair helping a young boy with red hair balance on his first broom.

Remus blinked and the visions ended, but a feeling of possession and belonging settled over him. Harry gurgled and yawned and closed his eyes, settling into sleep. Remus grinned and sat in the chair beside the window, shifting Harry closer to his chest.

“I see you’ve gotten over your irrational fear of holding Harry.”

“What?” Remus looked up. James and Sirius were hanging over the back of the couch watching him.

James smiled. “Is he asleep?”

Remus nodded and looked down at the child in his arms. James smiled and walked over to Remus and Harry. “Want me to take him?”

Remus looked up, slightly panicked. “No! That’s okay.” Remus smiled and tried to relax. “I just want to hold him a little longer.”

James smiled and squeezed Remus’ shoulder. “That’s fine. It’ll give me the opportunity to really smack Padfoot around.”

“Hey!” Sirius jumped up from the couch.

James whooped and jumped over the couch again. Sirius yelped, transformed, and ran for the open window.

“Lily said no dogs in the house!”

Remus laughed and watched his friends jump out the window and cavort around the yard. He looked down at Harry, smiling at the boy’s puckered face. He touched a clenched fist with one finger and his smile grew as the tiny hand wrapped around his finger.

****  
Remus clenched his fists against the urge to snatch the squalling three month old Harry from his father’s arms. Lily’s father was in hospital and she had been in London for the past three days with her mother and sister. James had called for reinforcements the day before and Peter and Sirius had stopped in for a few hours and Sirius had promised to return that evening. But Remus had stayed.

After another ten minutes of listening to Harry scream, and trying to distract himself by washing the few dishes he had piled in the sink after lunch, Remus tossed the dishcloth into the sink, dried his hands and stalked into the other room.

“Give Harry to me.” Remus held his hands out to James expectantly.

James looked at Remus with a frazzled look on his face. “I don’t know what to do, Moony.”

“Give him here.” Remus stepped closer and wrapped his hands around Harry’s taut body and pulled gently until James released him. Remus turned away from James’ incredulous gaze and cradled Harry against his chest. Harry snuggled his head into Remus’ neck and hiccoughed sadly as Remus rubbed his back and murmured into his ear.

“How did you --” James began.

“Why don’t you just go and get some rest or something.” Remus interrupted. “Harry and I will be fine.”

Remus pressed a kiss to the top of Harry’s head and listened as James left them alone. Remus sighed and settled into the chair by the window, starring out at the rainy street. Harry leaned his head back and looked at Remus. He patted Remus’ face with one tiny hand before he lowered his head back to Remus’ shoulder with a soft sigh. Remus continued rubbing Harry’s back, leaned his head against the back of the chair and closed his eyes.

He opened his eyes nearly an hour later and found James sitting in a chair drawn up near the window, staring at him. Looking down, he smiled at Harry, still asleep, one hand wrapped around one of Remus’ fingers which he had pulled into his mouth.

“I’ve been doing some thinking, Moony.”

Remus smiled but didn’t look up. “You didn’t hurt yourself, did you?” He looked up at the silence that met that statement. James stared back at him, his expression inscrutable.

“Back when we first figured out you were a werewolf and tried to find a cure, I came across some interesting myths.”

Remus swallowed and tried to smile. “Oh, really?”

James nodded. “I don’t remember ever seeing you with a girl. Or even a boy. Not even a rumor during school or since.”

“What are you getting at James?”

James leaned back and crossed his arms. “Harry has certainly taken to you. No one can comfort him like you can. Not even Lily. Why is that?”

“I don’t know,” Remus whispered.

‘Would you like to hear my theory?”

Remus stared and nodded wordlessly.

“The first time you held Harry I watched you closely. You honestly didn’t want to hold him. You were uncomfortable with the thought of getting too close to him. But then you did hold him. And I watched your face. And I watched Harry.”

“James….”

“Let me finish,” James interrupted roughly. “Harry knows you already. He knows your name. Whenever anyone mentions you he perks up and looks for you. And when he doesn’t find you he becomes fussy.” James smiled sadly. “When you took him from me this afternoon, it sparked a memory. So I did a little research this afternoon. One of the myths I came across in fourth year was that a werewolf would know his mate at first touch. And that his mate would know him.”

James fell silent and Remus stared at him in horror. “James you can’t think….”

“I don’t know what to think, Remus. Just tell me….” James turned away.

“What do you want me to say?” Remus asked helplessly. “Do you want me to tell you you’re right?”

“He’s my son,” James said harshly.

“Don’t you think I know that?” Remus looked down at the child on his chest. “You can’t think that I would ever do anything to hurt you or Lily or Harry.” Remus looked at James. “Tell me you know that.”

James nodded. “I do know.”

“So what happens now?” Remus asked after several minutes of awkward silence. “Do you want me to go?”

“God no! You’re the only one who can put him to sleep while Lily is gone.”

Remus chuckled softly and James smiled.

“Just promise me.” Remus looked up at James’ whisper. “Promise me you won’t,” James swallowed, “touch him until….”

“Don’t,” Remus interrupted. “Don’t even think it. I won’t hurt Harry. I’ll never hurt Harry.”

James nodded and they fell silent, watching the rain run down the window panes.

“So is the other part true?” James asked several minutes later.

Remus turned and found James watching him with a smile teasing his eyes and mouth. “What part?” Remus asked carefully.

“That you won’t know another’s touch until you know the touch of your mate?”

“James, please,” Remus blushed.

James chuckled. “So, are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Are you a virgin?”

“It’s not any of your business,” Remus answered primly.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Shut up.”

James laughed. “Ooh, good come back, Moony.”

Harry whimpered and shifted slightly in Remus’ grasp. “You’re disturbing Harry.”

James hummed. “Isn’t that convenient.”

“James you won’t….” Remus broke off and looked away, his cheeks pink.

James stood and laid a hand on Remus’ shoulder. He looked up. “I won’t tell anyone about you and Harry. Or that you’re a virgin.”

James chuckled at Remus’ glare.

****  
Remus frowned at the owl that perched on the back of his chair. He fished an owl treat out of a desk drawer and untied the note attached to its leg. The owl flew off in a huff as soon as Remus stuffed the treat in its beak. He set the note aside and finished reading the passage on grindylows before turning to the note a few minutes later.

Remus stood so quickly his chair fell over with a bang. There was no signature, but he recognized James’ writing. ‘Come immediately; there’s no time to spare.’ He grabbed his cloak, thrust his wand up his sleeve and apparated to the walk outside James and Lily’s small house. James opened the door just as he reached it.

“I was watching for you. Come inside.” James took Remus’ hand and pulled him inside. He shut the door behind him and took Remus’ cloak. “Lily’s gone to London for a few hours.”

“What is it? Where’s Harry?” Remus glanced around anxiously, startled by the mess and stacks of boxes.

“Harry’s fine.” Remus followed James pointing finger Harry was crawling through the mess, a huge smile displaying his four teeth.

Remus took a step toward him and scooped the boy up. Harry patted his face. “Moon.”

Remus smiled and pressed a kiss to his cheek before turning back to James. “What’s going on?”

James smiled and gestured Remus toward the living room. “I’m not supposed to say anything, but I couldn’t just disappear without warning you.”

Remus clutched Harry tighter and pulled Harry’s hand from its painful grip on his collar.

“What’s going on?” Remus repeated angrily.

James sighed. “Dumbledore came to see us last night. Voldemort intends to kill us.”

Remus froze, ignoring Harry’s babble. “What? You and Lily? Why?”

James shifted uncomfortable. “Actually, Voldemort wants to kill Harry, but he won’t get the chance to without killing us, so….”

Remus clutched Harry to him tighter, but relaxed his grip when Harry squealed. “I don’t understand.”

James sighed and levitated the boxes off the sofa. Remus sat and settled Harry beside him before turning to James who sat on the other end. Harry stood up and leaned against Remus, babbling his name and patting his face.

“Last June Dumbledore heard a prophecy that said Voldemort could be destroyed by a child born at the end of July to parents who had defied Voldemort three times,” James answered grimly.

Remus pulled Harry’s hands from his hair and pulled him to stand on his lap. As if sensing how upset Remus was, Harry laid his head on Remus’ shoulder and wrapped his arms around his neck.

“What are you going to do?”

James smiled at Harry. “We’re going to a small house that was left to me by my parents and we’re performing the Fidelus Charm tonight. Hence the packing.”

“Who,” Remus began hoarsely. He cleared his throat and began again. “Who’s your secret keeper?”

James smiled sadly. “I can’t tell you.”

“Is it Sirius?” Remus’ voice broke on the name and Harry turned his forehead against Remus’ cheek.

“I can’t tell you.” James stood. “Lily is going to be gone another hour or so. I need to finish up in the kitchen. Would you mind taking Harry to his room and packing up a bit in there? I’ll come and get you before Lily gets back. You’re not supposed to be here.” James smiled sadly as Remus stood. “But I wanted you and Harry to spend a little time with each other. I don’t know how long we’ll be gone.”

Remus stood and nodded. Harry’s room was just off the living room and as soon as Remus stepped through the door, Harry squirmed to be let down again. Remus sat him on the floor and Harry scampered off as Remus turned to set the gate in place. There were already a few boxes half filled with toys and a few more boxes stood empty in Harry’s cot. Remus opened the drawers of the dresser and scooped out an armful of clothes. He turned and took a step toward the cot. He felt a tug on his trousers, turned and stared down as Harry settled back on his rump as soon as he was assured of Remus’ attention. He pushed a stuffed dog toward Remus’ foot and began babbling excitedly. Remus dumped Harry’s clothes in the box and sat against the wall. Harry crawled about the room, scooting toys in front of him toward Remus, giving a lengthy explanation about the importance of each, his babble interspersed occasionally with “Moon.”

“Getting a lot done?”

Remus started at James’ voice. Harry, who had been perched on Remus lap turned toward the gate where his father was leaning against the doorjamb. He pushed himself to his feet and clutched Remus’ hand tightly and took a few tentative steps toward his father, smiling delightedly. James stood up straight from his slouch and Remus sat up and extended his hand, allowing Harry to take a few more wobbly steps.

“Prongs?”

James stepped over the barrier and sat on the floor a few feet from Remus, holding his arms out to Harry. Harry laughed and released his hold on Remus’ hand to grab at his father’s, taking the few steps necessary to allow James to grasp Harry and swing him up into his arms. Harry laughed and wriggled in his father’s arms.

“Moony, let’s see if he can do it again.”

“Moon!” Harry turned and held his arms out to Remus. Remus held out his hands. James stood Harry on his feet, let Harry grasp his fingers while he took the few steps to Remus, who scooped him up and hugged him. Harry wrapped his arms around Remus’ neck, squeezing as tight as he could before giving a huge yawn and laying his head on Remus’ shoulder.

James smiled. “I’m glad you got to see that. He’s been trying to walk for the past week.” James watched as Harry yawned again and closed his eyes. “It’s just as well he’s so tired. Lily will be back soon. It’ll be better if he’s asleep when you leave.”

Remus nodded and rubbed Harry’s back. Harry turned his face into Remus’ neck, sighed “Moon,” and relaxed into Remus’ embrace. James stood and cleared the boxes from Harry’s cot. He held a hand to Remus and pulled him to his feet. Remus laid Harry in his bed, smoothing a light blanket over him. Harry opened his eyes briefly, “Moon,” before clutching at the stuffed unicorn Remus placed by his side and closing his eyes again.

James and Remus left the room quietly and paused beside the door. Remus turned to James and found himself engulfed in a hard hug that he quickly returned.

“If anything happens….”

“Don’t.” Remus interrupted and pulled away. “You’ll be fine and I’ll see you in a month or two.”

James smiled. “Right.”

“Take care of yourself, Prongs. I love you all.”

“I know.”

Remus grasped James’ hand firmly, stepped outside, and apparated home.

****

Remus circled Dumbledore’s office, never pausing to gaze at a portrait or marvel at the gizmos that lined his shelves. He paused in front of Fawkes’ perch and glanced at his watch, cursing again at the time. He collapsed into a chair in front of Dumbledore’s desk and buried his head in his hands, but sprang to his feet as soon as he heard a door open behind him. Dumbledore strode forward, stretching a hand toward Remus as soon as he saw him.

“Hello, Remus. Minerva told me that you were waiting for me. What can I do for you, my dear boy?”

“You can tell me what you’ve done with Harry, Albus.”

Dumbledore frowned and gestured Remus to take his seat while he circled his desk and settled himself in his chair. “I understand that you’re upset, but….”

“Just tell me what you’ve done with Harry. I have a right to see him. You can’t just hide him away like this,” Remus said quickly, ignoring the silent command to sit down.

“I’ve done what I think is best for Harry. He is someplace safe and will remain there until it is time for him to claim his place in the wizarding world,” Dumbledore answered calmly.

“His family is dead, Albus. His godfather is a murderer and I was closer to James and Lily and Harry than anyone else who is still alive. I have a right to know where he is!” Remus planted his hands on Dumbledore’s desk and glared down at him.

“There’s no need to get angry,” Dumbledore said softly.

“Well, if I’m angry, it’s your fault!”

“Remus Lupin, sit down now and speak to me like a rational human being!” Dumbledore didn’t quite shout, but still managed to send a shiver down Remus’ spine at the command.

Remus sat abruptly. He stared, panting, at Dumbledore for a few moments before bowing his head and fisting his hands in his hair. He screwed his eyes shut and searched for control, well aware of the fact that anger would get him nowhere with this man.

“Now,” Dumbledore spoke softly, “I understand that you are upset, I am as well, but you have no claim on Harry Potter and I have placed him with his mother’s family where he will be safe from the remaining Death Eaters and any lookers-on that may try to find him.” Remus started when he felt a strong hand grip his shoulder. He looked up to find Dumbledore sitting in a chair beside him, gazing at him with a question in his eyes. “Explain to me why it is so important that you to find Harry.”

Remus searched the eyes of the man who had given him the opportunity to attend school, who had trusted him enough to let join in the fight against Voldemort and knew that he owed him nothing less than the truth.

“Harry was born right before the full moon, so I wasn’t there. But I visited the next week and James made me hold him. When I touched him -- when he looked at me….”

“Remus,” Dumbledore interrupted, but Remus shook his head.

“He’s mine. He belongs to me,” Remus whispered.

“What you are saying,” Dumbledore began, hesitating a moment before he coninuted, “what you’ve described is a myth.”

“Except that it happened,” Remus answered with an ironic twist to his mouth. “I saw everything; I saw our lives together in those few moments when I first held Harry. And what’s more, he knows it as well. What’s going to happen to him if he thinks I’ve deserted him?”

“Remus, he is very young. He will forget you.” Dumbledore blanched as he realized that was the wrong thing to say. Before Remus could work up a good head of steam, he continued. “But he will remember you when the time is right.” Dumbledore sat back with a sigh as Remus calmed a bit. “In any case, it is probably for the best that you have restricted contact with him. He is very young. He is not ready to realize that he has already met his… future mate,” he answered awkwardly. Dumbledore laid a hand on Remus’ shoulder. “I know it will be difficult for you, but I promise that he is safe and he will remain safe.”

Remus nodded. “Please, just tell me where he is. I need to see him. I need to at least know where he is. I won’t interfere in his life. Not yet. But I need to know where he is.”

“Remus, I don’t think that’s wise….”

“James understood,” Remus interrupted. “James warned me before the Fideleus charm was performed. He gave me the chance to see Harry and hold him before they disappeared. Can’t you give me the same chance that his own father gave me? At least tell me where he is. You owe me that much at least.”

Dumbledore sighed. “Very well. I have your word that you will not interfere?”

Remus nodded.

“He is with his mother’s sister, Petunia Dursley. She lives with her husband and young son, who is just Harry’s age, on Privet Drive in Little Whinging.”

Remus surged to his feet, but turned back to Dumbledore when his arm was gripped tightly. “You must not be seen, Remus. You should not go there at all, but I realize I cannot keep you from him. It is imperative that you not be seen. Not by the Dursleys and certainly not by Harry.”

Remus nodded. “I won’t be seen, Albus.”

Dumbledore released him and watched the young man race from the room, a calculating look entering his eyes.

****  
Remus stood under a tree across the street from number four Privet Drive. It was the night of the new moon, and a little more than a month before Harry would begin classes at Hogwarts. Remus had stood here before, on nights of the new moon, near Harry’s birthday, or Christmas, or occasionally on his own birthday in late March. He had tried to watch the boy play in the park, and had even tried to catch glimpses of him on the way to school, but Harry rarely appeared in the park, and there were so many children who walked to school that it was difficult to catch sight of Harry. And people tended to notice when a lone man in somewhat shabby clothes watched a group of school children intently. He probably wouldn’t be able to stand outside this house many more times; he certainly wouldn’t be able to stand outside Hogwarts and wonder what Harry was doing, if he were having pleasant dreams or if he had stayed up late to finish a book or talk with his friends. Remus sighed, gave the house one more intent look, and apparated away.


	2. Year Three: Interlude

Dumbledore looked up as Remus slammed the door behind him. “Remus, I was wondering if I would see you this evening.”

Remus stalked forward, braced his hands on Dumbledore’s desk and leaned forward. “I begged you to let me take him. It’s my right to raise him in the absence of his parents. But instead you sent him to live with those monsters.”

“It was the safest place for him.”

“He wasn’t safe there! You know very well how they treated him. Don’t sit there and tell me you had no idea!” Remus straightened and began pacing in front of Dumbledore’s desk.

“I do know how poorly he was treated.” Dumbledore began, pausing at Remus’ snort. “It was the safest place for him and if you will sit down and calm yourself I will explain my reasoning you.”

Remus paused in his pacing and glared at Dumbledore before throwing himself into a chair.

“Now, I am sure you are well of aware of the power of the magic between blood relations?” Dumbledore arched a brow and waited until Remus gave a curt nod. “When Lily sacrificed herself to protect her son, a powerful protection charm was placed on Harry. In order to maintain that magical protection, he needed to be placed with someone who shared Lily’s blood. Her sister.”

Remus screwed his eyes shut and resisted the urge to shout at Dumbledore. “And I guess the way they treat him doesn’t matter.”

“Of course, it does. But you must know that Voldemort was not destroyed, merely defeated. And when he returns, as I’ve no doubt he will, Harry will be his primary target. He must be protected.” Dumbledore paused. “There was a prophecy….”

“I know all about the prophecy,” Remus interrupted. “James told me when he let me see Harry before they went into hiding.”

Dumbledore looked startled for a moment before he cleared his throat and continued. “Yes, well, then you must realize that since Voldemort has marked Harry as his equal it is imperative that he remain safe at all costs. Harry will be the only one capable of defeating Voldemort when he has regained his full power.”

Remus stared. “What? What did you say about Voldemort marking Harry?”

Dumbledore sighed, removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. “I’m sorry, Remus. I had assumed that James told you the entire prophecy.”

“I thought he had. He said that the prophecy said that Harry would be able to defeat Voldemort, but nothing about Harry being marked.”

“The prophecy spoke of Voldemort marking the one who would destroy him as his equal.” Dumbledore stared at Remus expectantly.

“The scar,” Remus whispered and buried his face in a hand.

Dumbledore rose and stood by Remus’ chair, patting his shoulder. “I know that you want to protect him. I know that you would do everything in your power to protect Harry, but you cannot do what his mother’s blood will do.”

Remus looked up. “Does he know?”

Dumbledore looked away. “No. I haven’t had the heart to tell him yet, though I fear that the time will soon come when he must know.”

Remus nodded. “Does he know about Sirius?”

“No. Unless someone has let slip to him, he has no idea. And I think it would be best that it remain a secret for as long as possible. He is a boy of great emotion and I fear that he would attempt to find Sirius.”

Remus nodded. “I’ve told you how the Dementors affect him. Is there anything we can do about them?”

Dumbledore sat in his chair again. “I’m afraid not. Minister Fudge thinks it best that the Dementors remain guarding the school. They will not be allowed inside the castle, however. Not so long as I am here.”

Remus shivered slightly at the power in that one statement. “Thank you for doing this for me.”

Dumbledore smiled. “What else could I do after you sent me such a delightfully threatening letter?”

Remus flushed and Dumbledore chuckled. “I couldn’t just sit by and watch.”

“Yes, well, I’m sure that you and Harry will get along as famously as you did before and that you will be a very popular teacher.”

Remus rose to his feet. “Nevertheless, I appreciate this opportunity. And I will help you in any way you need.”

Dumbledore stood as well. “I know that Remus. Thank you. You had best retire for the night. The first day of class is always dramatic and chaotic.”

Remus said goodnight and went to settle into his quarters, missing the speculative gleam that rose in Dumbledore’s eyes.

****  
Remus thrust his clothes into his case with movements just short of savage. It wasn’t only the loss of the option of staying close to Harry that made Remus angry; the Defense Against the Dark Arts position was the best job he’d ever had. He cast only part of the blame on Snape, well aware of the fact that his own haste had put all of the children in danger. He closed his eyes and rested his hands on the edge of the case, shuddering to think of what could have happened if Sirius hadn’t been there to keep him from the children. Remus sighed and finished packing the few items that he owned before shutting the case with a snap. All that was left was to finish packing his office and to collect the grindylow tank.

The Marauders Map was still lying on top of his desk. He smiled as his eyes fell on it and his smile grew when he noticed the dot labeled ‘Harry Potter’ approaching his door. Remus looked up with a smile. Despite the drama and the worry, Remus would have to consider this the most wonderful year of his life thus far. Harry was smart, strong, compassionate, and everything that James and Lily would have wanted for their son. Remus had never felt as proud as he had the day that Harry had produced a Patronus that had knocked young Malfoy on his arse. Last night had been another revelation for Remus. Harry had risked so much for his friends, but had done exactly what James would have done in the same situation and spared a life despite the fact that that same life would come back to haunt him.

Remus was a bit surprised at the vehemence with which Harry questioned his decision to leave Hogwarts, and his heart was warmed as he realized that perhaps Harry was beginning to remember him a bit. Despite his desire to confide in Harry, he knew it was too soon. And it was too soon to hug the boy to him as he longed to do and his heart ached at the realization of the years he had lost with Harry.

The knock on the door startled Remus slightly, but he wasn’t surprised to see Dumbledore standing there with a stern expression on his face. Remus smiled grimly and gathered his things. He smiled gravely at Harry, shook hands briefly with Dumbledore and left as quickly as possible. Dumbledore seemed determined to force Remus to maintain a distance from Harry. Remus settled into the coach and grinned. Dumbledore could try all he wanted, but he was back in Harry’s life and there nothing that would force him out again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some startling revelations are made between fifth and sixth year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written before _Halfblood Prince_ was published and is AU after _Order of the Phoenix_.

Remus sighed as he caught sight of Harry sitting alone in the drawing room. He entered quietly and sat beside him, careful not to touch him or force him into conversation. Harry had only been at Order headquarters for a few hours, but the past six weeks in Little Whinging devoid of all information, with very little contact for that matter, had been difficult on him. The letters that Remus had received from Harry had become more petulant and sarcastic, and it had been all Remus could do not to disobey Dumbledore’s orders and pound on the front door during guard duty. Harry had seldom left the house, unlike the previous summer when he wandered about the neighborhood. Of course, Harry had been aware that people had been watching him, which undoubtedly accounted for his unwillingness to leave the house.

It was several minutes before Harry broke the silence. “I hated you for a while this summer. When I first got back to the Dursley’s.” Harry turned his head on the back of the couch and stared at Remus. “I was angry because you held me back. I just knew that he was standing on the other side thinking the whole thing was a big joke and you were keeping me from him.” Harry turned his face away again. “Even after I knew that he was gone, I was angry with you. I was angry with everyone for a while, mostly Snape and Dumbledore, but you were right near the top.” Harry sighed. “I just wanted you to know.”

Remus nodded and tried to swallow past the lump in his throat.

“I miss him.” Harry laughed brokenly after that announcement. “It’s stupid; I barely knew him, but I miss him. I even miss him more than I miss my parents. I don’t… I just have a vague feeling of safety and warmth. I know they’re gone and I miss them. But I can’t help but feel that there’s something more gone. And Sirius made me feel better, not so alone. Like a part of me that was missing wasn’t anymore.”

“I know what you mean.”

Harry turned to Remus again. “You miss him, too.”

Remus nodded. “I miss all of them.” He smiled sadly. “I don’t think it’s any easier remembering what it was like when James and Lily were alive. I remember what it was like when the four of us were together and how much laughter there was. And I remember the fear and the underlying anger and what it was like to wonder if we would all make it through the night or if we’d wake to another report in the _Prophet_ , only this time about a house that we knew.” Remus turned to Harry. “I don’t know if you’re lucky not to remember what it was like or not. You don’t know what you’re missing.”

“I wish I had the chance to know what I’m missing.”

“I would give anything to have them back.” Remus smiled bitterly for a moment. “Well, almost anything.”

“I used to listen eagerly to every little thing about my dad. Anytime anyone would say anything about him I’d always want more. And then I fell into Snape’s pensieve, and I – I just don’t know anymore.” Harry turned on the couch and faced Remus fully. “You and Sirius said that he had changed.” Remus nodded cautiously. “How could he be so awful?” Remus flushed slightly. “I mean, I know Snape is awful, but it’s horrible to be singled out like that. And to be picked on simply because of who he is. How could you just sit by and do nothing?”

“Harry, there’s a lot you don’t know about James’ and Severus’ relationship. I don’t even know all of the dynamics involved, but I do believe that James would never have done anything without provocation.”

“How can you say that?” Harry asked heatedly. “He started it up because Sirius was bored.”

“You only saw one side of the story. You only saw what Severus remembered. Yes, it was awful and James could be horrid, but Severus could be just as bad.”

“He was all alone! He didn’t have any friends to take up for him. The four of you ganged up against him.”

Remus turned away. “There isn’t anything I can say that will change your mind about this, is there.”

“I know what it’s like to be all alone and to be picked on because you’re different,” Harry said after a few minutes. “I’ve been treated that way my whole life.”

Remus’ clenched a fist on his knee. “So have I, Harry.” Remus felt Harry start slightly, but didn’t face him. “I can’t apologize for what your father and Sirius did, and I can’t make excuses that would make you feel better. I only wish that you would remember that people can change. Your father was my best friend, one of the most wonderful people I have ever known. Yes, he was horrid to Severus, but there are things about them that I don’t understand and I’m sure Severus would never be willing to explain them to you or to me. I just want you to keep in mind that what you saw in Severus’ memories was only one incident, and I’m sorry that it was such a horrible one.” Remus turned to Harry again. “Don’t change your mind about James or Sirius based on what you saw through Severus’ memory. They deserve that much at least.”

Remus stood and left, pausing outside of the doorway to catch his breath before continuing to his room. He ignored the ache in his chest at the empty rooms he passed along the way. The Weasley’s and Hermione weren’t scheduled to stay at Order Headquarters until next week. He paused by his own door, glancing upstairs at the empty room that Sirius had occupied until only two months ago, before opening his own door and closing it behind him. He looked at the painfully bare room. One of the first things that Sirius had done when he had asked Remus to stay here was clean out this room for him. Remus and Sirius had spent nearly two full days unhexing objects and tossing them out before Remus had been able to sleep in the room. Most of Remus’ own possessions were still in storage near his parents’ home. He had been unwilling to accept the idea of permanent habitation and was glad now that he hadn’t brought his things here. Remus started at the knock on his door. He opened the door, not at all surprised to find Harry standing uncertainly on the other side.

“I just – well, I wanted to say I’m sorry,” Harry said softly, a slight blush tinting his cheeks.

Remus smiled. “You don’t have to.”

Harry shook his head, “No. I do need to. You’re right.”

Remus shook his head and interrupted before Harry got too far. “No, I understand. What you saw was pretty upsetting, and emotions have been running high over the past year.”

Harry nodded and continued to hover. “Can I come in?”

Remus smiled and stepped away from the door. “There’s not much to do here. I was going to read for a while before starting dinner.”

Harry nodded and perched on the edge of the bed. Remus went to the closet, pulled out a worn cardboard box and carried it to the bed. He set down near Harry and opened the box. It was full of books, some of which looked like textbooks, but most looked like worn novels. “Some of these belonged to your parents. They used to let me borrow as many as I wanted for as long as I wanted. I had these when you went into hiding, and well, I guess they’re yours now.” He smiled as Harry stretched a hand tentatively toward the box but pulled it back before he actually touched any books. He pulled out a handful, made himself more comfortable and sorted through them. “Your father was very fond of Muggle horror stories; well, he was after Lily bought him one as a gag gift.” Remus handed Harry a worn copy of _Frankenstein_. “I think that was one of the first gifts your mother ever gave your father, part insult, part affection. Course, your father thought that your mother actually acknowledging he existed was a tremendous gift in and of itself.” Remus shifted through the box and smiled. “Your mother was fonder of the Bronte sisters and Dickens.” He handed Harry _A Tale of Two Cities_. “You might appreciate this one.” Remus tapped the cover. “Did you do much reading before you went to Hogwarts?”

Harry shrugged. “Not much, just some stuff for classes. The Dursleys never let me do anything I enjoyed. And they weren’t too fond of reading themselves.”

Remus nodded absently and continued shifting in the box. “There are a few Wizard novels in here.” He smiled suddenly. “I bet you’ll be surprised at this one.” He handed Harry a copy of _The Tempest_.

“Shakespeare?” Harry asked before his eyes widened. “Hey! The picture on the cover’s moving!”

Remus chuckled. “Shakespeare is one of very few wizards who have been able to cross over into the Muggle world and be as successful there as he was as a wizard. That was the last play he published in the Muggle world. He published a few more for the wizarding world before he became a recluse.”

“Cool.” Harry grinned. “What else is in there?”

Remus scooted the box toward Harry. “Help yourself.” Remus stood as the doorbell rang and Mrs. Black began her usual shriek. “Feel free to take them with you.” He smiled as Harry grinned and dug through the box before he went to check the door.

****  
Remus crossed his arms and scowled at Snape who smirked at his discomfort. There wasn’t a meeting scheduled until later in the week, though Severus had assured Remus that Dumbledore wished to speak to Harry and had requested Severus’ presence as well. It did not escape Remus’ notice that Snape had turned up only minutes after the rest of the first guard had left Harry and Remus alone. Harry had been upstairs, presumably reading, since he had peeked over the banister to see who had been at the door.

“You’re going to continue Harry’s Occlumency lessons this term, aren’t you, Severus?” Remus asked.

Snape scowled. “The Headmaster has requested that I attempt to teach Potter again, though in my estimation the concept is ludicrous.” Snape smirked. “I doubt that there is anything in Potter’s head that would interest the Dark Lord.”

Remus frowned. “You might be surprised what Voldemort could find in Harry’s head.”

“Why all the concern, Lupin?” Snape asked slyly.

“Harry is the son of my best friends, Severus. He is also an intelligent,” Severus snorted, but Remus continued without notice, “compassionate, and thoughtful person. I’ve grown rather fond of him.”

“You and the rest of the blind masses.” Ssnape muttered.

“I know you don’t like him, but I think if you gave him a chance--”

“I don’t need you to try and make us friends, Lupin,” Snape interrupted before Remus could work up a good defense of Harry.

Remus smiled sadly. “I’m sorry, Severus. I won’t try again.”

Severus sat back, disgruntled, and crossed his arms. “Just see that you don’t.”

Remus rose and began making tea. “Did Albus say when he would be by?”

Severus watched Remus work and arched a brow at the question. “You know the Headmaster as well as I do, Lupin. Do you honestly think I know when he will make an appearance here?”

Remus set the tea set on the table in front of Severus and poured them each a cup before asking his next question. “So why did he send you here so early?”

Snape blew over the top of his steaming cup and took a sip before he answered. “It’s almost as if he thinks Potter might come to harm in your dubious care, don’t you think?” Snape arched a brow and stared at Remus calmly.

Remus’ hands tightened around his own cup of tea. “I would never do anything to harm Harry, and Albus knows it.”

“Then why would he be concerned about the two of you being alone together in this house of horror?”

“Why don’t you tell me, Severus?” Remus asked.

Severus placed his cup carefully on the table and leaned back in his chair, regarding Remus carefully. “You’re decent sort, Lupin, your choice in friends aside. You’ve never been gossiped about, or even appeared to be in any kind of relationship. You were popular with the students you taught, though I believe your teaching methods leave a great deal to be desired. You taught Potter a very advanced charm that has saved his life on at least two occasions. Your respect for your friends has never been in doubt, nor has your respect for their miserable offspring.” Snape paused. “In my research for the Wolfsbane Potion I conducted a great deal of research on werewolves, including the myths and theories about werewolves that have developed over the years.” Severus pinned Remus with a significant glance. Remus fought not to squirm. “I suspect you can guess at what I’m hinting at.”

Remus nodded. “You worked this out on your own?”

Snape returned his nod. “What would give Dumbledore the idea that Potter would not be safe with you?”

Remus sighed and scrubbed his face with his hands. “I don’t know.” He laughed bitterly. “I wish I had never told him.”

“Why did you?” Snape asked, a hint of understanding in his voice.

“It was right after he took Harry to the Dursley’s. I was frantic to find him. My world had just fallen apart and Harry disappeared out of my life over night. He wasn’t going to tell me anything and I just said it.” Remus smiled bitterly. “He ordered me not to have any contact with Harry whatsoever. I had to practically threaten him to let me teach at Hogwarts the year that Sirius escaped.”

“I take it that Potter does not know,” Snape asked softly.

Remus shook his head. “Not really. I believe he experienced the same sensations I did the first time I held him, and he was very attached to me before they went into hiding, but he’s forgotten all about me.”

Severus grimaced at the pathetic tone in Remus’ voice. “I’ve no doubt he will remember when he needs to. He seems to hold you in great affection, as well. But this does not explain why Dumbledore would be wary of allowing you to spend time alone with Potter.”

Remus shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine.”

“Were I to make an educated guess, I would say that he is uncomfortable with certain lifestyles.”

“You mean to tell me that he is opposed to same sex couples?”

Severus shrugged and sipped his tea. “It is entirely possible. Homosexuality is not very prevalent in the wizarding world. And he is very old, though it is easy to forget that fact. I’ve never heard him voice views one way or the other, but it is possible that he is prejudiced.”

“God.” Remus muttered and rested his head in his hands briefly. “It’s not like I chose this. It’s not like I always knew I was gay. Fate decided we were perfect for each other and neither of us had a say. I don’t even know if Harry is gay.”

Severus smirked. “Well, based on gossip from last year, I would say that he doesn’t think he is either. There was quite a bit of speculation in the staff room when Potter was seen in a romantic establishment with Chang during a Hogsmeade visit.”

Remus tensed and Severus paled slightly. When he spoke, Remus’ voice was low and threatening. “You mean to tell me that Harry was seeing this girl last year?”

Severus cautiously nodded. Remus surged to his feet, but was blocked at the door by Severus. “You can’t confront him about this, Lupin. He’s a young man; it’s only natural that he would want to date a charming young woman.”

“Get out of my way, Snape.” Remus spoke through gritted teeth.

“Lupin, consider what you’re doing. Do you honestly think he’s ready to find out that he doesn’t have a choice about who he spends the rest of his life with? He deserves the chance to have as normal a life as possible, and that includes dating anyone he chooses.”

Remus closed his eyes and clenched his fists. “I don’t -- I can’t….”

“You don’t have any say in who he dates.”

Severus staggered back, touching his mouth lightly with his fingertips and studying the blood that gathered there with near scientific interest. Remus was staring at his fist, slightly smeared with Severus’ blood, with the same clinical gaze.

“Severus, I’m sorry. I don’t….”

Severus smirked, but winced at the pain. “I think I’ve proven my point.”

Remus nodded absently and pulled his wand from his belt. “Will you let me heal it for you?”

Severus held a cautious hand in front of him. “I’d rather you pointed that thing somewhere else.”

“Severus, I’m sorry. I have a bit of medical training, and I can heal that for you, if you’d just let me.”

“Remus, I don’t know what it is about me that would lead you to believe--”

Remus and Severus turned as the door opened behind them. Dumbledore regarded them intently, the twinkle noticeably absent from his eyes. Harry stood uncertainly behind him.

“Is there a problem here, gentlemen?” Dumbledore’s tone was steely and Severus winced while Remus lowered his wand.

“Of course, not, Headmaster. Lupin and I were just having a bit of a disagreement,” Snape answered smoothly.

“Indeed. And what happened to your lip, Severus?” Dumbledore cast a quick glance at Remus.

“As I said, Headmaster, Lupin and I had a disagreement. We’ve worked things out and he offered to heal my lip.”

Dumbledore stood silently staring between the two of them, before drawing his own wand and quickly healing Severus’ lip. “Let’s set down and have some tea.”

Remus stuck his wand back in his belt and walked to the dresser to retrieve two more mugs. He arched a brow as he turned and saw the seating arrangements at the table. Severus and Dumbledore sat on the same side; Harry sat beside Remus’ place at the table. Severus arched a brow in return, but Dumbledore carefully avoided his gaze. Harry glanced uncertainly between Remus and Severus.

Dumbledore waited until Remus had seated himself and poured the tea before speaking. “I’m sure you’re wondering why I wished to speak to you.”

Harry nodded and kept shooting cautious glances between Remus and Severus.

“Harry, I feel it’s important that you continue with Occlumency lessons.” Severus opened his mouth to speak, but shut it with a snap when Dumbledore held up a hand and continued. “I know how you feel, Severus, but it is beneficial to Harry that he be taught to block his mind. I also believe that Occlumency will aid him in preventing Voldemort from possessing him as he did briefly in June.” Dumbledore turned to Harry. “Can you explain how you repelled him so quickly, Harry?”

Harry shrugged and turned his gaze to the table, studying it intently. “I don’t know, really. I just thought about Sirius and felt this horrible pain and then he was gone.”

Dumbledore nodded. “As I thought. You have a tremendous capacity for love, Harry, something which Voldemort has no concept of. While it worked well the first time, it may not be adequate for preventing Voldemort from possessing you again. I believe that studying Occlumency will help.”

“Couldn’t you teach me, sir?” Harry bit his lip.

Severus smirked. “So unwilling to spend time in my presence, Potter?”

Harry glared.

“Professor Snape is a very capable Occlumen, Harry. He is more than capable of teaching you.”

Harry nodded, resigned.

Dumbledore continued. “I’ve asked Professor Snape to stay here until the end of the week so that you can get a head start in your lessons again.”

Remus stiffened and Severus shot him a warning look.

“He will stay until the Weasley’s arrive this weekend. I’m sure you’ll all get along well together. And now, I must apologize, but I must go. I will see you gentlemen tomorrow evening at the meeting.”

Harry perked up slightly. “Does that mean I’ll be allowed to attend?”

Dumbledore frowned and shook his head. “I’m sorry, Harry. You will not be allowed to attend the meeting, but I would like to speak to you briefly tomorrow. I’ll let myself out.”

Dumbledore stood, nodded once at Severus and left. The three men sat in silence for a few minutes.

Remus turned to Severus. “You could have told me.”

Severus smirked. “I was unaware that I had to clear my schedule through you, Lupin.”

Harry winced at the screech that filled the kitchen when Remus pushed his chair back from the table and stalked from the room. He stared after him a minute before darting his gaze toward Severus then back to the table top. He placed his hands on the surface of the table and prepared to leave the kitchen when Severus’ voice stopped him.

“We will begin your Occlumency lessons tomorrow morning at nine sharp in the drawing room.”

“Yes, sir.” Harry nodded and scrambled out of the room.

****

Harry shook his head and looked up. Snape was standing over him, smirking, his wand clenched in his fist

“You’re not even trying.”

Harry scowled and pushed himself to his feet. “I am trying.”

“If you were truly trying I wouldn’t be able to get so far into your mind,” Snape snarled. “Try again.”

Harry tried to clear his mind and concentrate on keeping Snape out, but his knees hurt from falling to the floor and the effort of trying to block Snape for the past forty-five minutes had exhausted him. Before he could even get his wand up, Snape had cast the spell.

 _Harry was trapped in a tree by Aunt Marge’s dog. He felt wind rushing through his hair and a loud sound filled his ears, but the arms holding him were unfamiliar and he wanted his Moon. His father held him above his head and he laughed at the faces he made; his mother held him close and sang to him; familiar arms held him close and a familiar scent filled his nose. He felt safe, comforted, his tiny hands clutched at ragged robes. He was crawling on the floor when a beam of light fell across him. He looked up toward the door that was opening and felt joy burst through his chest at the familiar figure standing in the doorway._

Harry forced Snape out of his mind and fell back, sitting on the floor with a thud.

“What the hell was that?”

“Let’s try again.”

“Wait, what was…?”

Snape cast the spell again and Harry was immediately engulfed by warm feelings, held by strong arms.

 _He looked up into smiling brown eyes that held a hint of sadness. He patted the face so close to his and murmured before laying his head down on a shoulder. He was sitting alone, his mother urging him to be still and quiet; the door behind her burst open and Harry felt pain and fear explode in him._

Harry pushed hard against the invasion and forced Snape out of his mind. He stood there, panting, watching Snape push himself to his feet from across the room where Harry had forced him with the disarming spell. Snape’s eyes rose to meet his and Harry turned and ran from the room and up the stairs to Remus’ room.

The door banged back against the wall as Harry entered. Remus looked up, startled, and got to his feet as soon as he saw Harry standing there.

“Harry, what is it? What’s happened?”

Harry rushed forward and threw himself in Remus’ arms, wrapping his arms around Remus’ waist, pressing his forehead against Remus’ neck. He sighed as the familiar arms wrapped around him and whispered, “Moon.” He felt Remus stiffen slightly, but clung tighter and felt the tension, fear and anger drain out of him. He couldn’t remember ever feeling this safe.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry learns the truth.

Remus fought down the panic coursing through him and wrapped his arms around Harry, pulling him even closer. He tensed again when he felt the whisper against his neck and began planning how exactly to make Severus wish he had never been born. He forced himself to set thoughts of mayhem aside and concentrated on the young man in his arms. Harry slowly relaxed and Remus smiled but the smile slipped away when he felt Harry tense again.

Harry pulled out of his arms, but kept one of his own hands resting on Remus’ waist.

“Are you alright?”

Harry slowly nodded and began to nibble on his lip.

“What happened?”

Harry shrugged and stepped away, dropping his hand back to his side.

“Harry?”

Harry sat on the edge of the bed and wrapped his arms around his stomach. “I was having an Occlumency lesson with Snape. He was rifling through my memories, and it was like he was looking for something in particular. I saw my parents. From when I was a baby. And I saw you.” Harry looked up. “And I felt a little weird,” Harry turned his eyes to his hands resting on his knees. “And then he cast the spell again and I felt it again, but then I saw Voldemort kill m-my Mum, and then try and kill me and all I wanted was m-my Moon.” Harry flushed lightly and looked at Remus again. “Which I guess was you.”

Remus forced himself to move from the spot where Harry had left him and took a hesitant step toward the bed. When Harry did not bolt, he stepped forward and sat near him. “Did you remember anything else?”

Harry shook his head. “What’s going on, M -- Remus?

“I don’t… I don’t want to tell you. Not yet.”

Harry didn’t look up at him, but his voice was filled with anger as he spoke. “Well, tell me anyway. I’m tired of being in the dark about things that directly affect my life. Something’s going on between us and I want to know what it is.”

“Yes, something’s going on. But I don’t want you to know yet. You’re too --”

“Don’t tell me I’m too young or not ready yet!” Harry interrupted angrily, finally look at Remus. “Whatever it is … it’s making me feel… I don’t know how to explain it, but I need to understand it.”

Remus nodded and smiled sadly. “I wanted to save this until later. I wanted you to have as normal a life as possible without all of this….” he waved his hand through the air, unable to find the proper words to explain. “If your parents had lived it wouldn’t have been an issue.”

“Did they know about whatever this is?”

“Your father knew. We were waiting to tell your mother until later.” Remus settled back against the headboard and turned his gaze to the window. “There is a popular myth in books about werewolves that when they first touch their mate they will know them immediately.” Remus glanced at Harry and smiled before looking away again. “Most people believe that it is just a myth. It seems a bit silly, when you think about it, although there have been powerful witches and wizards who have felt a strong attraction to others. There haven’t been any definitive studies about the phenomenon, but it is known to happen.”

“I don’t understand.” Harry turned to face Remus fully, leaning back against the footboard, his legs stretching toward Remus.

“It’s the idea of soul mates. That one person is destined for that one person who will complete them. It’s very rare that true soul mates find each other, and it usually occurs when the witch or wizard in question is particularly powerful. That same idea is part of the myths that surround werewolves.” Remus sighed. “I was very nervous when I held you the first time. You were small, and wrinkly and smelled funny.” Remus chuckled at Harry’s expression. “But when I did hold you I felt a connection to you. And you felt one to me.”

Harry stared at Remus for a moment before laughing awkwardly. “I’m not gay, Remus.”

Remus smiled sadly. “I wasn’t either. But apparently it doesn’t make any difference.”

Harry drew his legs to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. “So what you’re saying is that we’re soul mates?”

Remus nodded.

“I don’t understand. How is that possible?” Harry asked after several minutes.

“I don’t know. I don’t entirely understand either. And it may not mean anything at all except that we feel affection for each other.”

Harry turned crimson. “So you don’t… I mean you haven’t…?”

Remus laughed lightly. “I don’t and I haven’t. I care about you, Harry. I have since I first held you. And you cared about me, too, you just don’t remember.”

“I kind of do. I mean, I always liked you, since I first met you.” Harry shrugged helplessly.

Remus smiled and bowed his head briefly. “Thank you.”

Harry chuckled and shifted his legs to stretch across the bed again. “So what does it mean?”

“It may indeed mean that we are ‘soul mates.’ Or it could only mean that we are very good friends. I know that I want to protect you, and I am a bit possessive of you. But trust me, I have never had any,” Remus paused and blushed, “sexual feelings toward you.”

Harry blushed as well. “I like spending time with you. I feel safe with you.”

“Good, because you are safe with me.” Remus answered with a smile. “I will protect you as best I can, no matter what. I will not allow any harm to come to you if I can prevent it.”

Harry nodded and picked at a small hole in the worn bedspread.

“Is there something else you wanted to ask?”

Harry shrugged.

“You can ask me anything, Harry, and I will try to answer as best I can.”

“What if it is true?” A new blush bloomed in Harry’s cheeks. “That bit about being soul mates. I mean, what if…?” He gave up and shrugged helplessly.

“Then we’ll work through it.” Remus leaned forward and grabbed Harry’s hand. “Don’t worry about it right now. Nothing is going to happen. If it’s true, then we’ll know when the time is right. Until then, don’t worry about it. Don’t even give it a second thought.”

Harry nodded and smiled at him from beneath his fringe. “Thank you for telling me.”

Remus squeezed Harry’s hand gently and released it. “You’re welcome. I didn’t tell you sooner because I didn’t want you to worry over it. There’s nothing you or I can do about this.”

Harry turned his gaze back to his fingers that were still picking at the hole in the bedspread again. “Does anyone else know?”

“Professor Dumbledore knows. And Severus guessed.”

“Why did you tell Dumbledore?” Harry asked with a frown.

“Well, let’s just say that I was upset when you disappeared from sight overnight after your parents were killed,” Remus said dryly. “He wouldn’t tell me anything until I explained why I needed to know where you were.”

“Did you know how they treated me?” Harry asked softly.

Remus shook his head. “No, I had no idea. Not until your third year. I had…words… with Dumbledore when I found out how you were treated. That’s when he told me about the power in your mother’s sacrifice and why you had to stay there.” Remus leaned forward to grasp Harry’s chin gently, turning his face to Remus’. “I would never have allowed you to remain there if I had known how they were treating you. And I wanted to take you out of there after your third year, and I would have if it weren’t for the protection there. But I promise you this, if they ever try to treat you as they have in the past, there is nothing that will stop me from taking you away from there.”

Harry gazed, wide-eyed, at Remus before nodding cautiously. Remus released his chin slowly, his fingers caressing his face softly, and Harry swallowed a gasp at the heat that bloomed in his belly at the touch. They sat quietly for a few moments, Harry assiduously avoiding Remus’ gaze.

“So I called you ‘Moon,’ right?”

“You couldn’t seem to wrap your mouth around the ‘y’,” Remus smiled.

Harry nodded and glanced around the room before stumbling to his feet. “I think I’ll go read for a while. Before lunch.”

Remus watched him scramble from the room and waited a few minutes before he went to find Severus.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Snape?” Remus as soon as he found Snape in the parlor.

Severus calmly placed his bookmark in place and sat his book on a side table before turning to Remus. “Is there a problem, Lupin?”

Remus ground his teeth together briefly before he answered. “You deliberately searched through Harry’s mind for his early memories of me. You forced him to confront this situation before he was ready. You had no right.”

Severus smirked. “Why, I had no idea that the boy had no knowledge of the special relationship between you two.”

“Don’t you sit there and be sanctimonious with me, Snape. You knew damn well that Harry had no idea. It wasn’t up to you to inform him.”

“And I didn’t, Lupin.” Severus rose to his feet and collected his book from the table. “I was merely attempting to teach Potter the art of Occlumency. I cannot help what memories come to the forefront during such a lesson.” Severus brushed past Lupin into the entrance hall and up the stairs to the first floor. Remus followed.

“Don’t try and pull that shit with me, Snape. I know enough about Legilimency to know that the caster can search for specific memories and I know that you are adept enough to search through Harry’s memories until you found exactly what you were looking for. You forced him to learn something before he was ready.”

Severus turned and pinned Remus with a glare. “Or perhaps I forced him to learn something before _you_ were ready for him to know.” Severus smirked. “That’s what this is all about, isn’t it? You didn’t want your precious Potter to know about your special connection until you were ready.”

“It’s none of your concern when Harry finds out,” Remus bit out.

“You poor, delusional man,” Snape said with a smirk. “It must have been horrifying to find out that you would be bound the rest of your life to a child. Why, you must have laid awake at night, unable to cope with the shock--”

“Leave him alone.”

Remus and Severus turned to Harry, leaning over the banister to the second floor, glaring at Severus.

“Oh, good, your little knight in shining armor is here to protect you. I’ll just leave you two alone.” Severus shot one last smirk at Remus and left them alone in the hall.

Remus looked up at Harry. “Want to help me make lunch?” He asked after a few moments of silence.

Harry shrugged but trotted down the stairs behind Remus as he made his way to the kitchen. They chatted about insignificant things while Remus prepared sandwiches and salad. Remus half expected Severus to show up expecting his fair share, but the door remained shut, and the rest of the house quiet.

Remus started the dishes washing themselves and sat across from Harry, nursing a mug of tea. “You act like you want to say something.”

Harry shrugged. “I don’t know.” Harry traced the wood grain in front of him with one finger. “Did Sirius know?”

“No, he didn’t.” Remus answered softly.

Harry nodded, but kept his gaze on the tracing finger. “What did my Dad think about it?”

Remus smiled. “He was surprised. And a little upset when he confronted me about it. But he understood. He knew about the myth and the soul mate theory. He let me spend time with you, watch you grow up a bit. He owled me right before you went into hiding and let me spend an hour with you before you disappeared.”

“He trusted you.”

“Yes,” Remus whispered.

“Was Snape right? About you being afraid to tell me?”

“Maybe.” Remus released a breathy laugh. “I just thought that you had enough to worry about without adding in the idea of a soul mate. I wanted to give you a chance to be a little bit normal.”

Harry nodded. “Do you think, maybe…? I mean, would you…? I’d really like it if you’d write. Over the school year.”

Remus reached across the table and stopped the restless motion of his fingers on the table. “Of course, I’ll write to you.”

Harry flushed and nodded. He pulled his hand from Remus’ grasp and got to his feet. “I’m just going to go….” Harry broke off and smiled awkwardly before running from the room. Remus sat back in his chair, a pleased smiled spreading across his face.


	5. Chapter 5

Remus smiled as he finished rereading Harry’s latest letter and let it roll up on itself again. True to their word, they had taken to writing each other somewhat regularly. Remus had worried that the two weeks before Harry returned to Hogwarts had been too awkward for Harry and that he wouldn’t write at all. But Remus’ first letter had been answered within the week, and each succeeding letter had been as well.

Christmas had come and gone a month ago and, unlike last year, Dumbledore had ordered Harry to remain at Hogwarts for the Holidays, although with the recent Death Eater activity, or rather lack of activity, Remus couldn’t blame him. But Harry had sent a thoughtful gift in the form of a warm winter scarf; Remus still had the winter robes that Sirius had given to him three years before and the addition of Harry’s gift ensured that Remus would be cozy all winter long.

Remus stuck the letter up his sleeve and glanced around again. Dumbledore had sent him out to Little Hangleton to keep an eye on Voldemort’s father’s house. There had been a few Death Eaters spotted in the area, but Remus hadn’t seen any since he had arrived in the area three days ago. Remus settled deeper in the niche he had found in the forest and waited. He didn’t have to wait long.

****  
Remus leaned against the door and closed his eyes. Molly and Arthur Weasley were still at Orders Headquarters. They claimed they didn’t want to leave him alone in the dreary house, but Remus suspected that it was more likely that Dumbledore had asked them to stay and keep an eye on him. Though why, exactly, they would need to keep an eye on him he couldn’t imagine. He stumbled through the entrance hall to the kitchen, hoping Molly would be in. She was.

“Welcome back, Remus. Everything go alright?”

Remus grimaced before falling into a chair at the table. “Not exactly. You have some rudimentary healing skills, don’t you?”

Molly turned from the stove and was at his side in a flash. “What happened?”

Remus lifted his shirt slightly, and hissed in pain when Molly got a good look at the blood on his torso and pulled the shirt roughly over his head. “For heaven’s sake, Remus, what did you run into?”

“A Death Eater with a testy wand arm. Ow!” Remus exclaimed as Molly shifted his arm to get a better look at the wound. “Molly, could you not be so rough?”

“I’ll be as rough as I need to be, Remus Lupin,” Molly replied sternly. “Lean back a bit.”

Remus leaned back in his chair, rested his head on the hard ladder back, and closed his eyes. He heard Molly murmuring under her breath, but at least she had stopped poking at him for now.

“Remus, I don’t think I can help you with this.” Remus hissed as pressure was applied to his side. “You’ll either have to go to St. Mungo’s or to someone else who knows Medi-wizardary. What did they use? A severing charm?”

“I think so,” Remus sighed. “They caught sight of me and took off running and fired the spell behind their back. I can’t go to St. Mungo’s.”

Molly sighed and stepped back. “Well, you’ll have to see someone.”

“I’m open to any suggestions,” Remus replied dryly.

“There’s no need to get snippy. You need to stay calm at any rate. Getting excited will only make it worse. I’ll contact Dumbledore and see if he can recommend anyone.”

Remus let the voices rush over him as Molly spoke to Dumbledore. Silence fell and he felt Molly move close to him, but didn’t open his eyes.

“Remus?” Dumbledore was standing over him holding a spatula when Remus opened his eyes. “Remus, I can’t do anything to help you here. Madam Pomfrey is waiting to help you and I’ve also asked Severus to prepare several potions that will assist with your healing. Can you stand?”

Remus nodded and tried to push himself to his feet. Molly and Dumbledore each grasped an arm and held him upright until he was able to balance on his own feet. Remus nodded and they released him. Dumbledore handed him the spatula and Remus felt the familiar disorientation of the portkey. He collapsed in a heap as soon as his feet touched the floor again. He heard angry muttering as he was levitated onto a bed and opened his eyes to the familiar sight and smell of the Hogwarts infirmary. Madam Pomfrey was bustling about nearby and Remus closed his eyes and relaxed. He was in capable hands.

When Remus opened his eyes again several hours later, the burning sensation on his torso had subsided, though he still felt weak. Dumbledore sat by his bed watching him with a small smile on his face. When he noticed Remus’ eyes open he patted his shoulder gently. “How do you feel, Remus?”

“Better. Still weak, though.”

Dumbledore chuckled. “Yes, well, you did lose quite a bit of blood. Severus has been working on a blood regenerative potion which will help. Can you tell me what happened?”

Dumbledore listened calmly as Remus explained trailing Dolohov in the wood near Little Hangleton toward the old Riddle House before he was spotted. Dumbledore sat back in the chair.

“It’s starting, isn’t it?” Remus asked.

Dumbledore nodded. “It would appear so. Several members of the Order have reported increased activity near the Riddle House. That is why I asked you to stay nearby. I don’t believe that Voldemort himself is there at present, but with all of the increased activity it seems as if he is planning on moving on us from there. There is not much more we can do than wait. I will alert the other members of the Order to be on the lookout.” Dumbledore rose tiredly to his feet.

“You’ll stay here until Madam Pomfrey says you may go. I’ll have some books brought down from the library for you.”

“Thank you, sir,” Remus said with a resigned air.

Dumbledore patted his shoulder. “I’m very glad you’re well, Remus.”

Remus nodded and watched Dumbledore leave the small, private room. Pomfrey bustled in as soon as he was gone.

“I’m glad to see you’re awake, Remus dear.” She poured a dose of potion into a small glass. “Why he brought you here rather than taking you to St. Mungo’s, I’ll never know, but I guess he has his reasons.” Pomfrey poured the potion down Remus’ throat, ignored his choked sputtering and bustled about the bed, adjusting his blankets and running her wand over him, all the while muttering under her breath. “Severus said he would have the blood regenerative potion ready in another hour and would bring it straight up.” She finally finished her bustling and stepped back from the bed. “Do you need anything else, or may I see to my other, non-secretive patients?”

Remus smiled. “I’m fine. Thank you.”

Madam Pomfrey hmphed and left him alone. Remus sighed in relief. He spent the rest of the afternoon alternately dozing, staring at the plain white ceiling, and trying not to shy away from Pomfrey’s dubious care. Dinner arrived with a pile of books on a variety of subjects. Remus spent the evening reading, pausing only briefly to choke down Severus’ potion and be fussed over by Madam Pomfrey again. It was only 9:30 when she bustled in for what she claimed was the last time, took all of the books littering his bed and set them on a table across the room and told him it was time for him to sleep. Remus considered protesting, but quickly decided that it would be better to try and sleep instead.

Remus awoke abruptly near midnight. Only pale illumination from the waning moon shining through the window lit the room, but Remus felt certain that he was no longer alone. He reached for his wand lying on the table by the bed but paused as the air shimmered nearby and Harry’s head appeared.

“It’s just me.” Harry whispered.

Remus pushed himself to a sitting position. “What are you doing here? How did you know I was here?”

Harry shrugged and perched on the side of the bed. “I was in detention when Madam Pomfrey firecalled Professor Snape and wanted to know when he’d have that potion done for her patient. I didn’t know it was you but I… I just ended up here.” Harry smiled tremulously, but his smile grew when Remus grinned at him.

“You shouldn’t be wandering the halls in the middle of the night, Harry,” Remus scolded softly.

“You’re one to talk, Moony,” Harry returned with a grin.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t have a powerful wizard after me either.” Remus smiled at Harry a moment. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Well, I’m not glad you’re here,” Harry said tartly. “What happened to you?”

“I had an unfortunate run-in with a Death Eater,” Remus explained briefly. “Poppy fixed me up and I’ll be fine tomorrow.”

“Which means you’ll be gone tomorrow.” Harry said dully.

“Yes.” Remus whispered. “What’s wrong, Harry?”

Harry shrugged. “Haven’t been sleeping much lately. I slept alright last week, but I’ve been having bad dreams.”

“Has your scar been bothering you?” Remus asked.

“Not too much,” Harry answered, glancing aside. “No more than usual, anyway.”

“Have you told Professor Dumbledore about your dreams?”

Harry shrugged again. “No reason to, is there? He’d only tell me to try harder at Occlumency.”

“You should tell him anyway,” Remus said softly.

“What’s the point?” Harry said tartly. “He already has everything figured out anyway.”

Remus sighed at Harry’s dejected tone. He grabbed the hand that was picking at a thread on his robes and was slightly gratified when Harry’s fingers wrapped around his own. “You can’t tell anyone what I’m about to tell you.” Harry’s gaze sharpened abruptly. “You have to promise me, Harry.”

“I promise,” Harry answered quickly

“Professor Dumbledore thinks that Voldemort is going to make a move on you soon. He thinks that he’ll come here or try to capture you during a Hogsmeade weekend.”

“Why?” Harry asked.

“The Death Eaters have been gathering frequently and for longer periods. There have been fewer attacks around the country, but more sightings of Death Eaters.” Remus fixed Harry with a stern gaze. “You have to be careful. Don’t go anywhere alone, and don’t trust anyone unless you know for certain who they are.”

“What? I don’t understand.”

“You’ve heard of Polyjuice potion, haven’t you?”

“Oh, yeah,” Harry answered.

“Just be certain of who they are, pay attention to their speech, characteristics and habits.” Harry nodded absently. Remus touched his face gently. “Harry, what are you thinking?”

Harry grinned and shrugged. “Just wondering if this will all be over soon. Whether or not I can actually do what everyone expects me to do.”

Remus stared at Harry hard. “I expect you to survive, Harry. Beyond that I don’t give a damn what happens.”

Harry huffed a brief laugh. “You’re probably the only one that thinks that.”

“No, I’m not. But maybe I’m the only who will tell you.”

Silence fell for a few minutes before Harry asked “Is Dumbledore going to tell me what’s going on?”

Remus sighed. “I don’t know. He’s going to warn the Order, so don’t be surprised if you see members wandering around Hogsmeade next weekend.”

Harry nodded. “Are you sure about Voldemort?”

Remus smiled. “No, but I’m sure Dumbledore is. You should get back to Gryffindor. You’ve been here too long already.”

“Can’t I stay a little longer?” Harry asked softly.

Remus smiled. “You shouldn’t.”

Harry nodded sadly, but didn’t move otherwise.

“Are classes going okay?” Remus asked after a few minutes.

Harry shrugged. “They’re fine. I haven’t started Occlumency with Snape yet this term, but he said maybe next week. He’s been busy.”

“No doubt he has been,” Remus said with a small smile. “Don’t worry about Occlumency too much right now. Maybe you won’t need to anymore soon.”

They fell silent again and Harry’s gaze wandered around the room before they finally settled on the pile of books on the table across the room. He smiled.

“You’d be happy to spend the rest of your life reading, wouldn’t you?”

Remus chuckled. “I’ve always loved reading. If there were a way to get paid for it, I’d do it.”

“You could always be an editor or something.” Harry turned back to face Remus, shifting slightly on the bed so that his knee touched Remus’. “Or you could write your own book. You were the best teacher I’ve ever had.”

Remus smiled sadly. “I suppose I could, but what are the chances of someone wanting to publish a book written by a werewolf?”

Harry frowned. “You could use a pseudonym.” He grinned suddenly. “Besides, who knows better about dangerous creatures than someone who becomes one once a month.”

Remus chuckled and squeezed Harry’s hand gently. “You have a point. I’ll think about it.”

They fell silent again. “You should go back to Gryffindor. It’s late and you have class in the morning.”

Harry nodded. “I guess.” He stood beside the bed, but still held Remus’ hand. “Do you think maybe Dumbledore would let you be one of the people watching me in Hogsmeade next weekend?”

“Why don’t you ask me yourself?”

Remus and Harry started at the voice from the door.

Dumbledore’s expression was carefully blank, and Remus couldn’t help but notice the lack of twinkle in his eyes. “You should not be here, Harry. No one is supposed to know that Remus is here.”

“I know, sir, I’m sorry,” Harry stammered. “ I just… I couldn’t sleep and took a walk, and just wandered in. I didn’t know he was here until I got here.” Harry bit his lip and cast a helpless glance at Remus.

Dumbledore frowned. “Yes, well, be that as it may, you shouldn’t be roaming the corridors at night. I’ll see you in the morning, Harry.”

Harry squeezed Remus’ hand tightly before releasing it and reaching for his Invisibility Cloak.

“Sir, would you let Remus be in Hogsmeade this weekend? I mean, would you not send him anywhere else? We don’t have to visit or anything, but I just….” Harry shrugged.

“I’ll try, Harry. But Remus is very useful at evading Death Eaters while still keeping an eye on them.”

Harry sighed, cast another glance at Remus before he excused himself, flinging the cloak over him. Dumbledore looked out into the ward for several minutes before closing the door and turning to Remus with a frown. “I wasn’t aware that you had told Mr. Potter about your connection.”

“I didn’t,” Remus answered. “He figured it out during Occlumency lessons in August. He asked me about it then and I explained it to him.”

Dumbledore nodded absently and sat in the same chair beside the bed. “I am not comfortable with the idea of you – involving – yourself with Harry on a personal level while he is still a student.”

Remus’ tensed slightly. “Harry and I have shared a personal relationship since he was ten days old. He needs someone now, other than a teacher, who he can turn to if he has questions.”

“I understand that, Remus, but it is not up to you to determine --” Dumbledore began, but Remus quickly interrupted him.

“It is up to me. Harry is a part of me. As much as I am a part of him. Why do you keep trying to keep us apart?”

“I have done nothing of the sort, Remus,” Dumbledore protested smoothly.

“Yes, you have. From the moment I first told you that that sodding myth was true you have done everything you could to keep us away from each other.”

Dumbledore sighed. “Remus, I have only done what I thought was best.”

“I could have taken care of him when he was a child. I could have at least visited him when he was at the Dursleys’. I could have made sure they treated him like a human rather than a house elf,” Remus said angrily. “I could have made his life easier. But I stayed away, just like you wanted.”

“I allowed you to teach here during his third year,” Dumbledore answered calmly.

Remus just resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “Yes, of course. After I threatened to walk right up the Dursleys’ front door and explain everything to him. You’ve made certain that I’m never alone with him and that I barely see him at all. Why don’t you trust me?”

“My dear boy, I do trust you,” Dumbledore answered, a hint of surprise entering his tone.

“But not with Harry,” Remus replied. “I would give up my life for him. I will never hurt him.”

“He is not ready….”

Remus waited, but Dumbledore didn’t continue and instead turned to the window. “He’s not ready for what, Albus? Not ready to know he has to be a murderer or be murdered?”

Dumbledore cringed at Remus’ words, but Remus continued speaking before Dumbledore could interrupt him. “Not ready to know that he’ll have to spend the rest of his life with me? He already knows this. He trusts me. Why won’t you?”

“He is too young,” Dumbledore replied. “He cannot form a physical relationship with you.”

Remus couldn’t be certain in the dark room, but it looked as if Dumbledore were blushing slightly. “Is Severus right? Are you uncomfortable with the thought of two men together?”

“Of course not.” Dumbledore replied, though he didn’t quite meet Remus’ gaze.

“Albus, Harry is not ready. Neither am I, actually,” Remus answered with a small smile. “I feel great affection for Harry, but no more than I normally would for the son of my friends. We are not ready for a physical relationship. And I’m not entirely certain that our relationship will turn physical anyway.”

Dumbledore finally looked at Remus, an intense expression on his face. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that I’m not sure if Harry actually is my mate. I am certain that I love him. I will protect him at all costs and I will always be there for him, no matter who tries to keep us apart,” Remus answered. “But this idea of ‘Soul Mates’ is a bit farfetched, even with the images and sensations that arose in me when I first touched Harry. He has said that he’s not gay and I’m not going to force him to find out. If it comes to it, we will both know when the time is right.” Remus paused and studied Dumbledore’s face. The Headmaster looked confused and concerned and perhaps just the tiniest bit guilty. “Please don’t keep me away from him any longer. He needs to see me. Since he remembered who I am to him he has needed me more than ever. Let me watch over him. It’s something we both need.”

Dumbledore smiled sadly. “I will try. I am not comfortable with this situation between the two of you, but I will consider everything you have told me, and I will see what I can do.”

“Thank you, Albus,” Remus said, relieved at Dumbledore’s capitulation.

“I assume that Poppy will release you in the morning. I ask that you report to my office after classes have begun in the morning. I will arrange for a Portkey to take you back to Little Hangleton and will contact you there about this weekend, unless you have something to report.”

“Of course, Albus,” Remus answered.

Dubmledore stood and patted Remus’ shoulder. “Get some rest, Remus. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Remus watched Dumbledore leave, hoping that what he had said would make some impact on the Headmaster’s feelings.


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to remind you: this is AU. Written between OotP and HBP when rumors were flying about Harry getting injured in the big final battle. So I ran with it. Also, some spells were made up by me and don't really mean anything. Thanks for reading.

Remus watched the skies anxiously for an owl from Dumbledore throughout the week. On Thursday he began debating whether or not to desert his post. On Friday he decided to give the Headmaster until noon to send an owl. At two o’clock he went looking for an owl to send a note to Dumbledore informing him that he would be in Hogsmeade the next day. At three o’clock a barn owl swooped down over him and dropped a note at his feet. He read it quickly and a ball of anxiety evaporated from his stomach. Dumbledore was sending someone to relieve him at two the next morning. He would be in Hogsmeade when Harry was there.

****  
Remus stood in the wooded area near the Shrieking Shack, his eyes trained on Harry and his friends. It wasn’t exactly where Remus wanted to be situated, but it would do for now. The students had been in Hogsmeade for almost two hours now and there was no sign of Death Eaters. There was also a shortage of Slytherin students in the crowd of milling students below. Dumbledore had most of the Order in hiding around Hogsmeade, with the rest keeping a watch on the house in Little Hangleton. Remus tried to tell himself there was no reason to worry. He grinned as he watched Harry look around every few minutes, peering into shadows where other Order members hid and always turning away with a frown, only to repeat the process a few minutes later. Harry and his friends finally went into the Three Broomsticks and Remus turned his attention to the countryside around Hogsmeade. Remus straightened from the tree he was leaning against when he caught sight of furtive movement in the meadow near the train station.

Remus glanced around the town, noting where the other Order members were before turning back to the meadow. More furtive movement appeared before a sharp crack sounded from the middle of town. Remus cursed when he saw why. Nearly fifty Death Eaters had apparated into High Street. He sent red sparks high in the air, barely noticing when more red sparks erupted from a dozen different places, and raced down the hill toward the Three Broomsticks. Remus glanced around as several other Order members met him on his way. Remus nodded as one of them shouted that Dumbledore was on his way, but he didn’t pause in his stride. Half of the Death Eaters formed a half circle around the Three Broomsticks, while the other half formed a second circle near the building. Remus cursed and began throwing curses and hexes at the people standing between him and the entrance. He tried disapparating and cursed again when he realized that an anti-apparation ward had been thrown up around the pub. He turned his attention to dueling with the Death Eaters in his way and prayed that Dumbledore would be able to get those wards down quickly.

Screams and smoke began to come from the Three Broomsticks and Remus turned half an ear toward the screams, trying to identify if Harry’s voice was in the din. He thought he recognized Hermione’s voice but couldn’t be certain. The Death Eater directly facing Remus disapparated. Remus stared for a moment, absently noticing that several other Death Eaters had disappeared as well, before taking advantage of their absence and rushing forward. The Death Eaters closer to the tavern were much more skilled than their comrades who had disappeared. A flash of gold and scarlet streaked past Remus, followed by a large purple blur, but Remus didn’t take the time to be grateful that Dumbledore had arrived at last, and had brought most of the teachers with him. With a start, several more Death Eaters apparated from in front of him, leaving a clear path to the door.

Remus paused just inside and stared, unable to reconcile the smoking mess that remained of the warm and friendly tavern the Three Broomsticks had been. Students sat huddled in groups, some staring with vacant eyes, others crying, still others nursing wounds. He looked around frantically, searching for Dumbledore’s purple robes. Dumbledore would be near Harry. He saw Fawkes perched anxiously over the bar and began making his way through the students to that place. He saw Dumbledore stand with someone cradled in his arms and grab Fawkes’ tail feathers. With a pop and a flash, all three were gone. Remus growled softly before turning his attention to the students who needed assistance. He heard the muted pops of apparation outside and turned as several aurors rushed in, wands raised. He spared them a brief sneer before turning to the nearest group of students. He would help as long as it took for the aurors to organize a proper triage unit. And then he would head to Hogwarts and Harry.

****  
Harry stifled a whimper at the burning in his legs. The action brought new pain sensations throughout his body. Rough hands brushed over his legs and he tried to move away from them but more hands grasped his shoulders, pressing him into the bed. He whimpered again, and gasped painfully, drawing cold air into his body, which only irritated his already pained lungs beyond tolerance. He lost consciousness straining to hear among the babble around him the one voice he desperately wanted to hear.

It was much quieter the next time Harry regained consciousness. He opened his eyes but closed them again against the painful light that surrounded him. There were voices nearby, though not next to him, and he again strained to hear his Moon’s voice. He whimpered when he couldn’t hear it through the babble and winced when rough hands brushed over his forehead.

“Hush, now, Harry. You’re all right. You’re safe in Hogwarts.”

He jolted away from the touch and opened his eyes again, squinting against the light. “Where’s Moon?”

He recognized the blurry shadow that looked like Mrs. Weasley, but jerked away again when she tried to reach for him. “The moon hasn’t risen yet, Harry. Just calm down. Madam Pomfrey left some calming draught for you.”

Harry raised a heavy arm to block the potion she was holding out to him. “I want Moon. Where is he?”

A purple blur appeared beside Mrs. Weasley. “Shh, be still, Harry. You’ll hurt yourself more.”

Harry sobbed, but gave a painful gasp as his lungs burned again. “Moon.”

Dumbledore held him, grabbing his arms and pinning them down while Mrs. Weasley tired to hold the vial to his mouth. He choked as some of the liquid dribbled into his mouth, but spit it out immediately. He continued sobbing for his Moon while Mrs. Weasley scolded him and went looking for more calming draught.

“Harry, you must calm down. You’ll injure yourself worse.”

A commotion at the door drew his gaze. Dumbledore stood and turned toward the shouting. Harry immediately recognized Remus’ voice and gasped his name again. Remus pushed an auror out of his way and strode toward the end of the ward where Harry and Dumbledore waited. Harry held his arms out, grasping desperately for Remus. Mrs. Weasley appeared beside the bed with another vial of potion before Remus could reach him. Harry knocked her arm aside again as Remus appeared at the end of the bed. He tried to set up and touch him, but could barely move. Remus brushed Mrs. Weasley aside and lifted Harry into his arms, cradling him against him. He sobbed against Remus’ chest and tried to wrap his own arms around Remus, but the effort was too painful and he settled for laying an arm across Remus’ lap.

Mrs. Weasley stared a moment before touching Remus’ shoulder lightly and holding the vial out to him.

“What is this?” Remus asked hoarsely.

“It’s a calming draught, Remus. His lungs were singed and he needs to stay calm so they will heal properly.”

Remus nodded and tipped Harry’s face up to his. “Harry, you need to take this potion. It will help your lungs.”

“Don’t leave me.” Harry muttered before laying his head against Remus’ chest again.

“I won’t leave you, but you need to take your potion, Harry,” Remus promised. “It will make you feel better. I’ll stay right beside you the entire time.”

Harry sniffled, but nodded his damp cheek against Remus’ robes and tilted his head back so Remus could hold the vial to his mouth. He swallowed and grimaced at the taste, but the potion soothed his throat and he leaned against Remus again. The potion eased through his system and he felt himself relax even more against Remus, but whimpered when the arms eased him back to his pillows and the warmth against his chest and cheek disappeared. A cool hand brushed the hair back from his forehead.

“Shh, I’m right here. I’m not leaving. Just rest, Harry. Everything’s alright.”

Harry shifted toward the voice slightly but kept his eyes closed. His hand moved listlessly on the blankets until the same familiar hand that had brushed his forehead grasped his fingers. He forced his own fingers to grasp back and drifted off to sleep.

****

Mrs. Weasley watched the entire interaction quietly. When Remus settled into the chair beside Harry’s bed, she stood behind him and squeezed his shoulders gently for a moment. “Well, Remus, I knew that you and Harry had grown closer, but I really had no idea he was becoming so dependent on you. You just sit here with him. I’ve got to go check on my own children. I’ll make sure you get something to eat later.”

Remus sat staring at Harry, very conscious of Dumbledore standing on the other side of the bed watching them closely. He finally tore his gaze away from the pale face and turned to Dumbledore.

“What happened?”

“I hardly think that now is the time for that discussion.” Dumbledore answered and conjured a squishy armchair on the other side of Harry’s bed.

“I don’t really care if now is the right time or not. I want to know what happened.”

Dumbledore settled into his chair with a sigh and a quick flick of his wand created a silencing barrier around Harry’s bed. “It was nearly over by the time I arrived. I am quite proud of you and the other members of the Order who were in Hogsmeade this afternoon. Your quick action kept them all busy outside and left Voldemort alone inside the Three Broomsticks.” Dumbledore considered Harry for a few moments. “I am more proud than I can say of Harry. He did everything he could to protect the other students from Voldemort. When I arrived he had already lured him away from the children, behind the bar, and was just delivering the deathblow. I will need to question him or the other children to determine what happened exactly, but I suspect that Voldemort had tried to protect himself using a combination _Declinare_ and _Obtegentis_ Charm. Unfortunately, or rather fortunately for us, he failed to consider the blood he shared with Harry. Harry was able to break through his charm and cause damage before Voldemort could acknowledge his error.” Dumbledore removed his glasses and rubbed at his eyes for a moment. “I arrived just in time to see Harry fall behind the bar and Voldemort stand over him triumphantly. And then suddenly he began screaming and smoldering from the inside. Voldemort had already tried to set fire to the bar itself and there was smoke everywhere. When Voldemort fell behind the bar, a green and red smoke began to rise from where he had fallen, and Harry began screaming. Voldemort had fallen over him and whatever corrosive spell that Harry used was leaking from Voldemort’s remains onto Harry’s legs.” Dumbledore looked at Remus with a bit of an apology in his eyes. “That is why I rushed him here so quickly. I feared that the spell would consume Harry as well. Madam Pomfrey was able to stop the spread and remove most of the corrosive substance, but Harry’s left leg was badly damaged. I am afraid that he may never recover the full use of that leg.”

Remus’ hand hovered just above the injured leg for a moment before returning to his side. “Thank you.”

Dumbledore bowed his head a moment before waving his wand and releasing the silencing spell. Remus grimaced at the voices and cries that suddenly surrounded them. He clutched Harry’s hand tightly as he frowned in his sleep and whispered to him quietly until his face relaxed again.

Dumbledore stood and banished his chair. “I must go see to the clean up, and I daresay that Cornelius Fudge will be looking for me.” Dumbledore paused by Remus’ chair for a moment. “May I assume that you will be here should I need to find you?”

Remus nodded, but didn’t look up. As soon as Dumbledore had left he scooted his chair closer to Harry’s bed and leaned his head against their clasped hands, whispering a quick prayer of thanks to whatever spirit or deity that had protected Harry this afternoon.


	7. Chapter Seven

Two days later Harry was still in the infirmary and had fallen into depression. Remus was still keeping him company, and Harry seemed to be slightly less listless when Remus was present, but he had taken to turning his back on his friends when they visited. Remus finally cornered Madam Pomfrey and requested that she move Harry into the small, private room that he had stayed in the week before. Poppy had sniffed irritably, but had eventually agreed to move Harry after he had thrown a water pitcher at Mrs. Weasley the last time she had visited. Remus sat beside Harry and watched him as he looked out the window overlooking the Forbidden Forest.

“Would you like to tell me what’s bothering you?”

Harry shrugged and didn’t turn to look at him.

Remus pulled his wand from his sleeve and pointed it at the window, drawing the curtains and cutting off Harry’s view. “Will you turn around and talk to me?”

Harry didn’t move. Remus sighed. “Very well then. Professor Dumbledore probably needs someone to watch for the Death Eaters that got away. Send me an owl when you want to talk.” Remus rose to his feet and moved toward the door.

“Remus! Don’t go!”

Remus turned with his hand on the doorknob. Harry was sitting up in bed, tears gathering in his eyes, his fists clenched tightly on his thighs.

“Don’t leave me, Remus.”

Remus crossed back to the bed, sat on the edge and pulled Harry into his arms. “I’ll never leave you, Harry. You know that. But if you won’t talk to me, I can’t help you and I’m needed elsewhere.”

“I don’t want you to go.” Harry sobbed.

“Shh, I’ll stay as long as you want me to. You’ll get tired of seeing me,” Remus teased.

Harry only clutched Remus tighter and sobbed against his shoulder. Remus held Harry close and waited for the crying to die down. As soon as Harry’s sobs had dissolved into broken sniffling Remus pushed him away gently and handed him a handkerchief. Harry dried his face and blew his nose, but avoided meeting Remus’ gaze.

“Will you tell me what’s wrong?”

Harry shrugged and still didn’t meet Remus’ eyes.

“Harry, I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s wrong.” Remus smoothed his hand through Harry’s hair and tried to ignore the way Harry pushed his head into Remus’ hand, begging for more petting. He let his hand drop to Harry’s shoulder. “Please tell me what’s wrong.”

Harry shrugged again. “I’m just being silly.”

“About what?”

“I’m just – I’m afraid.”

“Of what?”

Harry scooted closer to Remus and laid his head on Remus’ shoulder, staring at the window. “What if he’s not really gone? What if I c-can’t ever use my leg again? What about all of the Death Eaters who got away? I’m tired of being a target, Remus.”

Remus wrapped his arms around Harry, pulling him closer. “He’s really gone, Harry. He can’t hurt you anymore.”

Harry pulled away slightly and turned to look at Remus. “How can you be sure?”

Remus traced Harry’s scar. “What does this tell you?”

“It’s been wrong before.”

“Has it really?”

Harry looked away. “I don’t want to do this anymore, Moon.”

“What makes you think you still have to?”

“Everyone’s depending on me.”

“Everyone expected you to destroy Voldemort, which you did. You’re finished, Harry. You can do what you want now.”

Harry shook his head. “They’ll still expect me to get rid of the Death Eaters. And anything else that comes along.”

“Then you just tell them to go to hell.” Harry stared at Remus. Remus put his finger under Harry’s chin and gently shut his mouth. “Let them figure it out for themselves for once. You don’t have to save the world every time, and no one should expect you to.”

Harry nodded and laid his head on Remus’ shoulder again. “Is that the only thing that had you upset?”

Harry shrugged.

Remus sighed. “What has Madam Pomfrey said about when you’ll get out of hospital?”

“You mean you two don’t talk about when I’m not awake?”

“Of course not. Why would we?”

Harry didn’t answer.

“You seem a little paranoid, Harry. Who’s been talking to you?”

“It’s just something Dumbledore said to me.”

Remus pushed Harry away and held him away when he tried to lean forward. “What did he say to you?”

“It’s not a big deal, honest.”

“If it wasn’t a big deal you wouldn’t be so upset. What did he say?”

Harry looked at Remus anxiously. “It wasn’t anything, really. He just said that he was proud of me and that he knew I would never let him down. He could always count on me. You’re scaring me, Remus," Harry said suddenly.

Remus loosened his hold on Harry’s shoulders and began rubbing circles with his thumbs. “Sorry. When did he talk to you?”

“Last week. After he asked me to tell him what happened in the Three Broomsticks.”

“Where was I?”

Harry shrugged. “I think you were sleeping or taking a bath or something. You hadn’t been gone long when he stopped by. Why?”

Remus shook his head and tried to smile.

Harry jerked away from Remus’ hold. “Don’t treat me like I’m a child! I just fucking killed Voldemort. If something’s going on with you and Dumbledore I want to know.”

Remus stared for a moment then began laughing. Harry grinned sheepishly. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I just – you’ve always admired Dumbledore and I don’t want to change your perspective of him.”

Harry took Remus’ hand. “Look, Dumbledore is a great wizard. He’s smart and powerful. He’s the strongest wizard in the world and a hero. But he’s also just a man. And if what he’s saying to me is going to cause problems with us, I want to know why he’s saying it.”

Remus twisted his wrist in Harry’s grasp and grasped his hand in return. “When I told Dumbledore about our connection, he became a bit upset. He kept me away from you and never told me the entire story about how you were treated. I would have taken care of you myself.” He paused to give a self-depreciating grin. “As much as a werewolf can care for a child, at any rate. I had to threaten him to let me come here your third year, when I thought Sirius was a danger to you. He doesn’t like us being alone together, and Severus seems to think that he is… that he may be homophobic.”

“But… we’re not.” Harry blushed. “I mean, we’re not… you know.”

Remus smiled. “I know. And I told him that, but it seems he is still certain that we will eventually have a, um, physical, relationship.”

Harry nodded and studied the plaster on the wall behind Remus. “Is that why he keeps visiting when you’re gone? Is he trying to keep us apart?” Harry looked at Remus. “’Cause I don’t want to be away from you. I mean, I don’t… you know… but I do want to spend time with you.” Harry blushed and looked away again.

Remus smiled. “Thank you, Harry.” Harry grinned at him and turned to the window. “How do you feel now?”

“Fine. Still stupid. A-and scared.”

“You don’t have to be afraid. Voldemort is dead. You would know if he wasn’t. Do you feel him anymore?” Harry thought for a moment then shook his head. “He’s gone, Harry. I saw his body. And Dumbledore destroyed what was left of him. He can’t hurt you anymore. And I won’t let anyone else hurt you, either.”

****

“Remus, I’d like to talk to you for a few minutes. It’s important.” Madam Pomfrey added when Remus hesitated a moment.

“All right.” He settled himself comfortably in the chair across from her desk and watched bemusedly as she closed and warded the door.

“Now,” Poppy settled behind her desk and steepled her fingers, looking sternly at Remus across the desk. “You’ve been spending a great deal of time with Mr. Potter, and I don’t know what that’s about, nor do I care. He does not lose his temper with you as he does with everyone else, and I’ve only ever heard him laugh lately when you’re with him. He barely acknowledges my presence and I practically have to threaten him in order to make him take his potions.”

“What are you getting at, Poppy?” Remus asked, his stomach sinking as he realized what Poppy was about to ask him.

“It is time for Mr. Potter to stop feeling sorry for himself and begin walking on that leg of his,” Poppy answered briskly. “All he does is lie in bed and stare out the window. Ms. Granger and Mr. Weasley have visited nearly every day and they have brought his homework to him, but he ignores their attempts at conversation and refuses to take an interest in his schoolwork. He seems determined to waste away in that bed. I want you to try and get him up and to at least try and walk across the room. Merlin knows he won’t try it when I tell him to.”

“Poppy, I don’t know if I can --”

“You are the only one he responds to in any manner other than negatively,” Poppy interrupted. “He’ll sit and listen to Albus, but he rarely speaks to him. He didn’t even respond when Auror Shacklebolt was in to question him. And he sneered and turned his back on the Minister for Magic.” Remus hid a grin behind his fingers at Poppy’s scandalized tone. “Surely you must agree that something must be done about him.”

Remus sighed. “I can try, Poppy, but I can’t make any promises. Harry is very much his own person.”

“Yes, well,” Poppy rose and crossed to the door, opening it for Remus, “If you can’t get through to him, I’m afraid that no one will be able to.”

Remus sighed and made his way to Harry’s private room. He stood in the doorway and stared at the young man lying on the bed staring out the window, wondering how he was going to get through to him. Harry finally noticed his audience and glowered a moment before a sheepish smile stretched across his face. When Remus continued to stand and stare at him, he squirmed against his pillows.

“What?”

Remus smiled and stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. “I was just wondering how long you plan to laze around in this room when it’s so lovely outside.”

Harry glanced at the window where the sun was shining for the first time in what seemed like weeks. “I don’t feel much like going outside.”

Remus stepped into the room and pulled a chair over to the window. “Well then why don’t you at least sit near the window and enjoy the view. You can’t possibly see much from that bed. I should know, I was the occupant just before you.”

“I’m fine where I am.” Harry eyed Remus critically. “Did Madam Pomfrey talk to you?”

“As a matter of fact she did.” Remus sat in the chair near the window. “You’re still afraid, aren’t you?”

Harry bit his lip and nodded.

“You think if you actually get out of that bed and walk around that people will look to you as a savior again.”

“They always do,” Harry answered quietly.

“They expect too much of you, Harry,” Remus returned just as quietly. “And you expect too much of yourself.”

“Can you honestly sit there and tell me that as soon as people see me walking around again they won’t expect me to fight all of their battles for them?” Harry asked bitterly.

“Do you want them to?”

Harry started at the question. “What?”

“You come from a horrible place where you were treated worse than a house-elf. And here you’re a hero. What will people think when they see that you can’t walk properly? So long as you stay hidden away, no one has to know what’s happened to you.”

“I’m not hiding,” Harry said through gritted teeth.

Remus smiled. “Of course, you’re not. So why are you afraid of trying to walk?”

Harry shrugged and turned away from Remus.

“The full moon is the day after tomorrow. Professor Snape has been preparing the Wolfsbane potion for me, but I’ll also be going to the Shrieking Shack.”

Harry nodded, but didn’t look up at him. Remus sighed.

“I didn’t mean to upset you, but I hate seeing you sit here like this and I know that Poppy is getting frustrated. I just want you to be well.”

“I’m okay,” Harry mumbled.

“No, you’re not.” Remus sat on the bed beside Harry, grasped his chin and pulled his face around to look at him. “I want you to be well. And you’re not getting any better just lying in this bed. When I get back you’re going to get out of this bed and you’re going to start living again.”

“You can’t make me do anything I’m not ready to do,” Harry answered tartly.

“Watch me.” Remus smiled as he watched the blood drain from Harry’s face.


	8. Chapter Eight

Harry waited anxiously for Remus to appear the next afternoon. The full moon had been last night, but he knew that Remus would have slept late that day. Maybe he wouldn’t feel well today and Harry wouldn’t have to see him until tomorrow, though the thought didn’t make him feel any better. Harry pulled his book bag from the floor near the bed and pulled out his Transfiguration textbook in the hopes that it would distract him from the upcoming confrontation with Remus. He didn’t want to fight with Remus, but he was just as certain that he didn’t want to try and walk, either. Harry set his textbook aside and pulled the blanket away from his injured leg, pulling the leg of his pajama bottoms up to his knee to survey his damaged leg. What he saw convinced him that there really wasn’t any point in trying to walk. There was barely any muscle left on the calf and the skin was shriveled and dark. How did Remus expect him to walk again when he had this thing to contend with?

Harry threw the blanket back over his leg and pulled his textbook back onto his lap as the door began to open. He glanced up from under his fringe and frowned as Madam Pomfrey walked in carrying another potion. She had been feeding him potions since the battle two weeks ago and he was tired of it.

“Is Remus back yet?”

Madam Pomfrey bustled over, handed him the potion and began straightening his pillows and blankets. “I’m afraid not, dear. He should be back soon. I promised him a quiet place to nap and a hot meal as soon as he could make it from the Shack. If he’s not back by dinner time, I’ll go check on him.”

Harry frowned. “Why would it take so long for him to come back?”

“He could have injured himself and he might not be able to make it back on his own. You never know with painful transformations like this. Drink your potion, Mr. Potter.”

Harry frowned and he swallowed the potion unconsciously while he considered what Madam Pomfrey had said. He choked and began coughing and Madam Pomfrey beat him on the back a few times until he lurched away from her. “What was that one for?”

“It’ll help your muscle tone a bit. You’ve been in this bed for two weeks and it’s not good for you, especially when you consider the damage done to you. I’ll let you know when Remus returns.”

“Madam Pomfrey, would you set up another bed in here for Remus?” Harry blushed as Madam Pomfrey arched a brow at his request. “I just kinda want him near.”

“Hmmph,” Pomfrey grunted, studying Harry a moment before she answered. “I’ll see what I can do.”

Harry sighed and returned his attention to his Transfiguration textbook. He skimmed through the homework assignments that had been tucked inside, but finally set the book aside and pulled out his potions textbook. It wasn’t so much that his interest in Potions had grown, but potions were more helpful in the long run and, being his weakest subject, he needed to pay more attention to what he could learn. Especially since Remus would need his help with the Wolfsbane potion.

Two hours later, Harry had completed most of the two weeks’ worth of Potions assignments that he had missed but had continued thumbing through the book and lists of ingredients in the back. Without a snarling Potions Master looking over his shoulder, or fussing or complaining from his friends, Harry had found himself interested in the numerous potions and what they were used for. He had found the recipe for the potion that Pomfrey kept forcing on him and discovered that it wasn’t just useful for repairing damaged muscle, but was also used after childbirth to contract the muscles in the abdomen. Harry was quite impressed with himself when he recognized several of the plants used in the potion and what they were used for.

The door opened and Madam Pomfrey walked in, a cot floating behind her, followed by Remus who smiled at him briefly, but seemed too tired to do more. Harry watched as Pomfrey gently pushed Remus down onto the cot, pulled off his shoes and cloak and tucked him in.

“I’ll be in later with dinner for both of you,” Poppy said briskly. “Harry, make sure he rests and stay quiet so he can get a good sleep.”

Harry nodded silently and waited until Pomfrey had left before turning back to Remus. His eyes were still open and he smiled again when he saw Harry looking at him.

“I’m alright. Just tired.”

“What took you so long? Madam Pomfrey said she expected you this morning. So did I.”

“I’m sorry, Harry.” Remus gave a huge yawn before continuing. “I fell asleep after the moon set this morning and I only woke up an hour ago. I wanted a bath and something to eat before I came back.”

“You better go to sleep or Madam Pomfrey will be mad at both of us.”

Remus smiled and closed his eyes. “G’night, Harry.”

Harry smiled and curled up on his side facing Remus. “Good night, Moon.”

****

Remus awoke with a start, the feeling that he was being watched tickling up his spine. He opened his eyes a bit and peered through his lashes. He smiled and closed his eyes again.

“I thought you would be studying. Or did I not see your Potions book in your hands when I came in earlier?” His smile grew when he heard Harry chuckle.

“I have been studying. But I kept thinking you would wake up soon so I….”

Remus opened his eyes and laughed at Harry’s red face. “For shame, Mr. Potter. Spying on me while I was unconscious?” Remus yawned. “What time ‘s it?”

“It’s half five. Are you alright?”

“”m fine. Always tired after the full moon. Be better tomorrow.”

“Are you going to be able to stay here longer?”

“Mmhm. ‘Till Dumbledore kicks me out.”

Remus fell asleep again and missed the pleased smile that crossed Harry’s face.

****

The next time Remus awoke, Madam Pomfrey was standing over him holding a dinner tray. He panicked for a moment, thinking that she was about to dump the contents on him, but quickly realized that what he thought was irritation was actually a concerned look on her face.

“It’s nearly nine o’clock, Remus. I was beginning to think that you’d sleep straight through to breakfast.” Poppy set the tray aside and plumped the pillows at Remus’ back as he sat up. “You need to eat something. You’re skinny enough as it is. Stay here a few more weeks and the house-elves will plump you up nicely.”

Harry giggled behind Poppy and Remus frowned. “I’m not a Christmas goose, Poppy. I don’t need to be ‘plumped up.’”

“And I’m a medi-witch and if I say you’re too skinny, you are.” She plopped the tray on Remus’ lap and turned to Harry. “I see you haven’t taken your potion this evening, Mr. Potter. What are you waiting on? The Easter holidays?”

Harry grimaced, but took the potion that Poppy had placed on the bedside table earlier. Remus gave him a smug expression behind Poppy’s back as he dug into the roast beef that had been spelled warm for him. Harry stuck his tongue out at him.

Poppy sighed. “I hope you boys behave tonight. Remus, as soon as you’re done just send the tray back down to the kitchens. There are some pajamas for you at the foot of your cot. If you need anything else you can summon a house-elf with a… well, you probably remember how. I’ll be back in the morning with breakfast potions for you both.” She smiled as both grimaced at the thought. “Sleep well, you two.”

“Goodnight, Poppy. Thank you.”

Poppy smiled and closed the door behind her.

Remus glanced at Harry before turning his attention back to his dinner. “Have you been studying all day?”

“Yeah. Just Potions and Transfigurations.”

“Why just those two?”

“They seem the most useful.”

“Charms are useful,” Remus pointed out, barely pausing as he shoveled food in his mouth.

“I do alright in Charms.”

“What about your other classes?”

“It’s only Care of Magical Creatures, Herbology and Defense Against the Dark Arts. I do fine in those.”

Remus nodded and quickly finished eating before banishing his tray to the kitchen. “Having any trouble in the other classes?”

“Only Potions. But I’m going to start trying harder in it. I want to do well.”

Remus studied him carefully. “You’ll have to start going to classes. Which means you’ll have to walk.”

Harry nodded and looked away. “I know. I thought about what you said while you were gone. I’m trying not to be scared, but – I don’t know.” He turned back to Remus. “People turn against me so quickly. What if….”

“Harry,” Remus interrupted, “your friends will be your friends, no matter what. Do you honestly think that Ron or Hermione will turn against you if you walk with a limp?”

Harry shook his head. “But there are others who will.”

“And there are even more people who will try and weasel their way into your life because of that limp. They’ll see it and identify it with the destruction of Voldemort. Just like your scar.”

Harry nodded. Remus stumbled out of his cot and crossed the short distance to Harry’s bed to sit beside him. “Look at me.” Remus waited until Harry’s eyes met his before continuing. “You already know who your friends are. And you’re smart enough to figure out who wants to be your friend because of who you are, and who wants to be your friend because of your scars. You won’t be alone. You’ll never be alone again. I’ll make sure of that.”

Harry nodded and smiled shyly up at Remus. “I know you will. I can’t tell you how wonderful it’s been having you here while I’ve been… here.” Harry finished lamely. “I wish you didn’t have to go.”

“I don’t have to go for a while yet.” Remus got to his feet and turned to the pajamas left for him. He pulled his shirt over his head without thought, but grimaced at Harry’s gasp. Remus hastily pulled his pajama shirt on.

“Is that where…?”

“Yes.” Remus turned to face Harry. “I forgot. Not many people see me without a shirt on.”

Harry was staring at Remus’ side where the bite was. “Does it hurt?” Harry finally looked up.

Remus smiled sadly and began buttoning the pajama shirt, but stopped as Harry stretched a hand out toward the scar. He stepped forward and gasped as cool fingers touched his skin. Harry hastily pulled his hand back.

“It’s okay. Your fingers are cold.”

Harry smiled and touched Remus’ side again. “And not many people touch you, do they?”

“No.” Remus whispered.

Harry traced the scar gently, and Remus barely felt the touch. “Does it hurt?”

“Not anymore. It used to hurt right after the full moon,” Remus answered softly. “Just a little. But hasn’t for years.”

“Since the Wolfsbane?”

“Right before then.”

Harry pulled his hand away hastily and looked away. “Sorry. I don’t like it when people touch my scar.”

Remus touched Harry’s forehead gently. “But we’re not just people. Not to each other.”

Harry turned to face Remus. “I guess we’re not.”

They stared at each other for several minutes before Remus smiled awkwardly, stepped back, and buttoned his pajama top.

“We should get to sleep; otherwise Madam Pomfrey will come in and scold us.”

Harry smiled and lay down, curling on his side facing away from Remus. Remus finished changing and lowered the lighting. He lay down and pulled the blankets up to his chin, staring at the shadows dancing across the ceiling.

“Good night, Harry.”

“Good night, Remus. I’m glad you’re here.”

Remus smiled. “So am I.”

****

Harry jerked awake as a door slammed nearby. It was still dark out, though the sky was beginning to lighten, so it must be very early. He lay still, listening intently for any other sound but when none came, he rolled over to see if Remus had awakened as well. Remus was curled on his side, facing Harry, one foot dangling off the edge of the cot, one hand curled over the edge of the blankets, twitching occasionally. Harry lay still and watched him sleep, noticing the shadow of beard along his jaw, the scattered mess of his hair across the pillow. Remus' lips were parted slightly and Harry wished he were closer so he could feel Remus’ breath on his face as he pressed their lips together.

Harry’s eyes opened wide at that thought and he sat up abruptly, knocking a book onto the floor when his pillow shifted against the table. Remus sat up with a start, his eyes wide open

”What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Harry said quickly, his face heating in a blush. “Sorry. I dropped a book.”

Remus frowned and brushed his hair back from his eyes. “Why are you awake so early?”

“A door slammed somewhere and woke me up. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s alright.” Remus yawned and ran his fingers through his hair. “I slept enough yesterday. But you should try and sleep some more.”

Harry frowned. “I don’t want to.”

“What do you want?”

“I-I want….” Harry paused and licked his lips. “Will you help me?”

Remus was completely still, nearly holding his breath, afraid to ask the next question. “Help you what?”

“I-I need to go back to classes. I need to walk and you need – I need you to help me.” After the first stuttered sentence, Harry’s words came out in a rush. Remus was still, deciphering Harry’s words and trying to determine if he really meant it.

Harry watched him watch him and finally threw the blankets off his legs and swung his legs over the side. Remus was there before he had finished the movement.

“Don’t be too hasty. We’re not in a hurry.”

“I want to go back to class,” Harry answered stubbornly.

“What’s the rush? Three days ago you acted like you didn’t care if you ever went back to class.”

“Well I changed my mind.”

Harry scooted to the edge of the bed and placed his feet on the ground. Remus stood close, his hands held out to catch Harry, but he didn’t touch him. Harry stood slowly, resting his weight on his good leg. He clung to the bed and glanced up at Remus as he let go. To his surprise, Remus stepped back, rather than toward him, but his hands were still held out in front of him, ready to catch him should he stumble. Harry rested his left foot on the floor for a moment before sliding it toward Remus. He slowly shifted his balance to his injured leg and shuffled his good leg forward quickly. Remus smiled and Harry found himself grinning in return. Harry took another odd, shuffling step forward and another before he stumbled. He was caught up by strong arms and held gently against Remus until he was able to find his own balance. Remus held onto one of Harry’s hands as he stepped away. Harry bit his lip and took another step. He looked up, delight shining on his face, and Remus couldn’t help but laugh. Harry smiled and shuffled forward quickly, catching Remus before he could step back again and wrapped his arms around him. Remus smiled and leaned his cheek against Harry’s forehead. After a few moments, Harry stepped back, his eyes still alight with laughter.

“I can do this.”

“Yes, you can,” Remus answered, a hint of laugher in his voice. “You just need a little practice.”

Harry nodded and bit his lip. Remus stepped back, and Harry let go of his hand. He stood there, wobbling slightly, but stepped forward almost confidently. He stumbled again, and Remus caught him again. Harry leaned against him.

“Just take your time. There’s no hurry.”

“I want to go back to class.”

“Alright, but don’t push yourself.” Harry tried to pull away and Remus tightened his grip, keeping Harry close. “Take it easy. You don’t have to do everything this morning. We’ll try again later.” Remus guided Harry to the bed and forced him to sit. “Why are you so anxious to get back to class all of a sudden?”

“I just need to get back. I need to learn as much as I can before I leave.”

Remus sat beside Harry and began rubbing his back. “Why the sudden interest in learning?”

Harry shrugged and leaned against Remus. “I just want to learn. What am I supposed to do after Hogwarts? How can I protect -- make a good decision about my future if I don’t learn all I can now?”

“Protect who, Harry?”

Harry looked away. “Myself. And my friends.”

“I thought we talked about that.”

“Yeah, well, just because Voldemort’s dead doesn’t mean that my friends still won’t be as much of a target as I am.”

“They can take care of themselves, Harry.”

“So I should just sit by and watch them get hurt for being my friends? I should let them fight my battles for me?”

“Why not? You’ve fought their battles for them. And they’re quite able to take care of themselves. They don’t need you to take care of them.”

“They’re not the only ones I want to take care of!” Harry bit his lip and twisted his hands in his lap.

Remus curled his arm around Harry’s back. “Who else do you think you need to take care of?”

Harry shrugged. Remus chuckled. “Harry, I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”

“I know that. I’m not stupid,” Harry mumbled.

“I know you’re not stupid. And thank you.”

“For what?” Harry asked, not looking up.

“For caring,” Remus answered softly.

Harry turned to Remus. “Of course I care. Why wouldn’t I?”

Remus smiled sadly. “You have such a huge capacity for love. It amazes me.”

Harry shrugged. “I’ve never had anyone that I really wanted to take care of before. I mean, I always knew that Ron and Hermione could take care of themselves even when I tried to make them stay out of the way. I know you can take care of yourself, but I still….”

“I know. I feel the same way.”

“I know that….” Harry bit his lip and looked away.

“What?” Remus prompted after several minutes.

“I know that my parents, and Sirius, probably, felt like this. They wanted to take care of me. But I’ve never, I don’t remember anyone ever saying it to me.” He shrugged and laughed awkwardly.

“They did. I know they did. And it does make a difference hearing it out loud.”

Harry nodded and opened his mouth, but the door opening suddenly caught their attention before he could say anything.

“Good morning, gentlemen.”

“Good morning, Poppy,” Remus answered as he shifted away from Harry slightly.

“I hope you had a restful night. I’ve brought breakfast for you. And Remus, the Headmaster would like to speak to you this morning after your breakfast.”

Remus squeezed Harry’s shoulder before dropping his hand to his lap. “Ah, yes. I’m not surprised. I have a few errands to run this morning, anyway.”

“When will you be back?” Harry asked.

“I should be back this afternoon.”

“Can I assume that you have been trying to walk, Mr. Potter?” Madam Pomfrey asked briskly.

“Yes, Madam Pomfrey,” Harry answered obediently.

“Hmph. Well, at least Remus has been able to get some sense into that hard head of yours.”

Harry blushed while Remus laughed. “I think he’ll be just fine in a few days, Poppy. And hopefully out of the hospital wing.”

“He’s spent so much time here over the years he might as well just move right in, wouldn’t you agree, Mr. Potter,” Madam Pomfrey asked as she bustled about.

“No,” Harry objected. “No offense, Madam Pomfrey, but I’m getting a little tired of this place.”

“It’s about time, Mr. Potter,” Madam Pomfrey answered with a smile. “Now, you two eat your breakfast. You both have a lot to do today and you need to keep your strength up.”

An hour later, Harry watched as Remus pulled on his worn robe and cloak. Remus had put off meeting with Dumbledore for as long as possible, but couldn’t put off meeting with him indefinitely. “You won’t be gone long, will you?”

“Probably not. I might have to run some errands for Professor Dumbledore, but I think that the Aurors are rounding up the Death Eaters that got away.”

“Earning their pay for once?”

Remus chuckled. “Something like that. I’ll be back tonight, anyway. Hopefully before then. What are you planning to do while I’m gone?”

Harry shrugged. “Work on my homework, I guess. I suppose I could practice walking again.”

“Would you wait until I come back to try walking again?”

“Why?”

“I’d just like to be here.” Remus smiled. “You took your first steps from me to your father the day before you went into hiding. We were both so proud of you we nearly broke our faces smiling. I’d like to be here when you take your first unaided steps this time.”

Harry grinned and nodded. “You can help me with homework, too, if you want.”

Remus laughed. “Maybe I will. I’ll be back later. I promise.”

****

“You wanted to see me, Albus?”

“Yes, please sit, Remus.” Dumbledore didn’t look up from his correspondence, and Remus watched as he shuffled through several different letters, never sparing a glance for the man waiting on him. Remus hid a smile. He knew exactly what this meeting was about and he wasn’t at all surprised at the treatment he was receiving.

After several minutes, Dumbledore finally set his quill aside and looked at Remus. “I was under the impression that we had an agreement regarding your relationship with Harry.”

Remus frowned. “Yes, I suppose we did. What seems to be the problem?”

“You broke our agreement, Remus,” Dumbledore answered sternly.

“How did I do that, Albus?” Remus returned quickly.

“You slept with Harry. You promised me that there would be no physical relationship between you two until he was old enough to make his own decisions.”

Remus swallowed a sigh. “I slept in the same room with him. He hadn’t seen me since the day before yesterday and he asked me to visit him as soon as I could after the full moon. Harry asked Madam Pomfrey about me yesterday morning and she came to the shack looking for me. I slept all afternoon, we barely had a conversation when I woke up for dinner, and I slept all night long, even through your angry exit this morning, which woke Harry, by the way,” Remus chided. “Nothing untoward has happened between us and nothing will happen. I cannot keep reassuring you, Albus. You used to trust me.”

“Be that as it may,” Dumbledore began shuffling papers on his desk and refused to meet Remus’ eyes. “I am asking you to remove yourself from school grounds.”

“What about Harry?” Remus asked.

“I believe that Harry’s recovery is sufficient that he does not need your presence any longer. It is possible that he might even recover quicker without you here to mollycoddle him.”

“I see,” Remus answered after several minutes. “Well, I’ll just say good-bye to Harry and be on my way.”

“I think it best that you leave now, Remus.”

Remus laughed bitterly. “Of course, Albus. I won’t attempt to soil Harry any further with my presence.” Remus stood and turned to leave, but turned back at the door. “Harry will be seventeen this summer, you know. You won’t be able to make his decisions anymore after that.”

“Are you threatening me, Remus?” Dumbledore asked softly.

“I wouldn’t dream of it, Albus,” Remus answered silkily. “I’m simply informing you that Harry is almost an adult. He and I are connected, no matter how you might feel about it. I have reassured you repeatedly that I will do nothing to hurt Harry, and I will not allow him to be hurt by others. There is nothing I can do now, and so long as he attends Hogwarts I will not interfere with your rules regarding him. But he and I will exchange letters, and I do intend to visit him this summer after he reaches his majority. And there is nothing that you can do about that.” Remus paused and considered his next words carefully. “I’m sorry that you feel you can’t trust me. I’ve always respected and admired you. I still do. But you cannot keep me from Harry, and the more you try, the more you will push Harry to hate you. I don’t want that to happen any more than you do, but if you keep trying to keep us apart, it will happen. And I will not do anything to stop it.”

Remus left quickly, pausing only for a moment beside the stone gargoyle to catch his breath. He still had an errand to run. And now he had a letter to compose.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry makes it out of the hospital and Ron and Hermione take up their familiar rolls.

Harry paused outside the entrance to Gryffindor and leaned against his new cane. It had been a week since Remus had left so suddenly, sending only a note and this cane in explanation. Harry tried not to be stung by the sudden departure, but Remus had promised he would be back. The note he had sent indicated he was running errands for Dumbledore and straightening up his affairs, but Remus had promised. Harry had practiced walking under the watchful gaze of Madam Pomfrey, who praised him endlessly about his sudden progress. He had tried to look pleased, but was certain he wasn’t quite able to pull it off. Harry had wanted Remus to help him and praise him on his progress. Being able to walk again had been a shallow victory without Remus there to share it with him.

Harry took a deep breath and spoke the password, smiling shyly at the Fat Lady’s ‘Welcome back’ and stepped into the lion’s den. No one noticed him for several minutes, until Dennis Creevy happened to see him standing awkwardly by the portrait and shouted his name. After that, mass hysteria broke out. Harry backed away from the people who pressed forward, but relaxed slightly as Ron and Hermione broke through the crowd. Harry staggered as Hermione hugged him.

“I’m so happy you’re back!” She released him and stepped back a bit.

“We missed, you mate.” Ron clapped his hand on Harry’s shoulder. “Are you back for good, or just for a visit?”

“For good. Madam Pomfrey is sending a house-elf with my things. I missed you guys too.”

“Couldn’t tell by the number of objects flung at us,” Ron said with a grin.

“Oh, Ron,” Hermione scolded lightly.

Harry blushed. “Sorry about that.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’d be upset too if I’d just escaped from death’s door. Come in and sit down.” Ron turned and surveyed the crowd still hovering nearby. “You lot clear off. He doesn’t need a bunch of people staring at him.”

The crowd dispersed slowly; shouts of ‘welcome back’ and ‘we missed you’ followed Harry to the sofa in front of the fire, but no one came too close.

“How are you, Harry?” Hermione asked, hovering over him as Harry lowered himself stiffly to the couch.

“I’m okay. A little slow moving around, yet, but okay.”

“Are you in any pain?” Hermione asked.

“Hermione! You shouldn’t ask questions like that?” Ron scolded, but then turned to Harry expectantly.

Harry laughed. “No, not so much. Just when I forget sometimes. And Remus sent me this to help out.” Harry lifted his black enameled cane with the wolf’s head on the grip.

“Wicked! Can I see it?” Harry handed the cane to Ron who inspected the wolf’s head with a grin.

“So he’s gone, then?” Hermione asked.

Harry nodded. “He said that Dumbledore had some errands for him and that he had some personal things to take care of.”

“You don’t sound very happy that he’s gone.”

Harry shrugged. “He’s been here for three weeks. I don’t need him to baby-sit me anymore.”

“You were awfully attached to him,” Ron said as he handed the cane back to Harry.

“Yeah, I guess. But he has his own life to live.”

“He was terribly attached to you, too,” Hermione remarked softly

Harry turned to Hermione, an intent expression on his face. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Ron answered and Harry turned to him. Ron squirmed uncomfortably under the look. “I mean, those first few days he wouldn’t let anyone near you, barely let Madam Pomfrey near you.”

“And then when we tried to visit later, he was always nearby, listening in and then making us leave after a while,” Hermione continued.

“Mum said that you were crying for him the first time you woke up and that you only calmed down when he showed up,” Ron said.

Harry’s face brightened into a small, pleased smile.

“Harry, what’s going on?” Hermione asked catching sight of his smile.

“What do you mean?” Harry asked, hoping to head Hermione off but knowing full well she wouldn’t be.

“It’s a little weird, how you and Remus acted after you were hurt,” Hermione said.

Harry shrugged. “He’s my friend.”

“We’re your friends, too, mate, but you sure didn’t act that way with us,” Ron remarked.

“Remus is special,” Harry said softly.

Hermione frowned, and her eyes began glowing in that familiar way they did when she saw a potential mystery. “Special how?”

“I don’t know,” Harry said with a shrug. “What’s the big deal?”

“Harry,” Hermione glanced around before continuing and leaned closer to Harry. “Do you have a crush on Remus?”

“What? No, of course not. I like him. It’s nothing like that,” Harry protested quickly.

Ron swallowed. “It’s okay if you do, you know.” He shifted uncomfortably for a moment. “It doesn’t really matter if you like like him.”

“Ron, don’t worry. I don’t,” Harry answered with a small smile. “We talked a lot last summer, and wrote each other last term. He’s like Sirius was. It’s no big deal.”

Ron released his breath in a relieved sigh. “Good. I mean, not that there would be anything wrong with it if you did, but, yeah, good.”

Harry laughed and missed the calculating look in Hermione’s eyes.

****  
Harry took a deep breath and knocked on the door in front of him. For a moment he thought that maybe he had knocked too lightly, or Snape wasn’t in. But it was more likely that Snape knew who was on the other side and didn’t want to see him. He raised his hand to knock again when the door opened.

“Mr. Potter. To what do I owe the dubious honor of your presence?”

Harry paused just a moment before he answered. “I just… I wondered if I could talk to you for a minute. Please?”

Snape glared at him for a few minutes before stepping back and holding the door open for Harry. He swallowed and walked into the office. Harry sat in an uncomfortable wooden chair in front of Snape’s desk, leaning his cane against the arm. Snape sat behind his desk and arched an eyebrow.

“You wanted to speak to me, Mr. Potter. Please do so quickly. Unless it was your intention to take up a great deal of my time and thereby earn yourself a detention.”

Harry started to frown, but fought it down. “I wanted to thank you, sir, for helping me. With Occlumency. And also for helping me remember about Remus.”

“I beg your pardon, Potter.” Snape’s voice was soft and Harry fought not to shudder.

“I didn’t remember him. Before the lessons this summer. The Occlumency lessons. And then you helped me remember.”

“I did nothing of the sort, Potter, and I resent the implication that I did.”

“Fine," Harry said with a roll of his eyes. "You didn’t mean to but you did anyway. So whether you want my thanks or not you have it.”

Snape glared at Harry. “Is that all you have to say?”

Harry glared back. “No sir. I wondered if you would consider continuing my lessons.”

Snape frowned. “Whatever for? The Dark Lord is dead. You certainly don’t need Occlumency lessons anymore. Not that they did you any good. You certainly didn’t practice it.”

Harry swallowed an angry retort. “They helped enough. And I want to continue learning. It might come in handy some day.”

Snape sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. “Why do you want to learn now?”

“I told you. It’ll come in handy some day.”

Snape smirked. “That’s not an adequate answer, Potter, and until you can come up with a better one I will not consider teaching you.”

“I want to learn as much as I can. You’re the only one who can teach me Occlumency.”

“That is not good enough. Go away, Potter. You’ve taken up enough of my time.” Snape picked up his quill and began grading assignments.

“I have to learn.”

“I have no interest in your sudden desire to learn anything, Potter.”

“I have to be able to protect Remus!”

Snape looked up. “You want to protect Lupin? How interesting. And what makes you think that Lupin requires your protection?”

“Everyone needs someone to watch out for them.”

“Explain to me how Occlumency will assist you in, ah, watching out for Lupin.”

Harry scowled. “I want to learn as much as I can. And Occlumency might come in handy.”

Snape nodded absently. “For once, Potter, I agree with you. Learning never hurt anyone.” Snape paused and studied Harry a moment. “Very well, I will continue teaching you Occlumency in exchange for cleaning my workroom and classroom. For every hour I spend teaching you Occlumency, you will spend one hour cleaning.”

Harry knew the exchange was more than fair and agreed before Snape could change his mind. Harry thanked him for the opportunity and made his escape before Snape decided to punish him for some hidden offence. He closed the office door behind him and smiled. He made his way slowly up the stairs and paused in the entrance hall for a few minutes before beginning the long climb up to Gryffindor. Harry was doing much better after a week of walking to classes, but still had a hard time on stairs. He reached the top of the stairs from the entrance hall and leaned against the wall.

“Are you alright, Harry?”

Harry smiled as the familiar voice rang through the entrance hall. “I’m fine, Hermione, just resting a bit before I start up another staircase.”

Hermione smiled briefly. “Well, I’ll keep you company. What were you doing down here anyway?”

“I was talking to Snape. I want to continue Occlumency lessons.”

Hermione frowned. “Why?”

“I want to learn as much as I can before I leave Hogwarts.” Harry shrugged. “It’s not like I can do much else anymore, is it?”

“Oh, Harry,” Hermione said, seeming on the verge of tears. “I’m glad that you want to learn, but I’m sure you’ll be fine. You won’t have any trouble finding something worthwhile to do after you leave.”

Harry smiled bitterly and stood up straight, resting most of his weight on his cane. “Yeah, well, Snape agreed, but for every hour that he teaches me I have to spend an hour cleaning up his classroom or workroom.”

“It could have been worse,” Hermione remarked tersely.

“I know,” Harry agreed wryly. “I got out of there as fast as I could before he could make it worse.”

Hermione smiled. “Harry, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“You always do, Hermione.”

“This is kind of important, Harry.”

Harry paused halfway up the staircase and turned to Hermione. “What is it?”

“Well, you remember when Professor Snape assigned that essay on werewolves, to get back at Professor Lupin, during third year?”

“Yeah, you were the only one who actually did the whole thing.”

“Yes, well, when I was doing my research for that essay I came across a book about werewolves that included certain myths.” Harry froze, certain he knew what was coming next. “Harry, one of the myths was about….”

“Don’t.” Harry interrupted. “Don’t say anything. Don’t finish that thought, don’t say anything.”

“Harry --”

Harry dropped his cane and lunged toward Hermione, catching her and pinning her arms to her sides. “You don’t understand. Nothing’s going on. We’re friends, that’s all.” He whispered frantically. “Don’t say anything to anyone. You could get us both in trouble.”

Hermione stared at him, wide-eyed. “Let go, Harry. I promise, I won’t mention anything to anyone. You’re hurting me.”

Harry released her, falling back against the banister. Hermione stared for a moment before running down to retrieve his cane from the bottom of the stairs.

“I’m sorry, Hermione,” Harry said when Hermione rejoined him and pressed his cane into his hand. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. Or yell at you. But nobody’s supposed to know.”

“It’s okay, Harry. I just…” she paused, biting her lip. “I won’t tell anyone, or say anything else about it.”

“Thanks.”

They walked slowly up the stairs.

“Could you help me with my Potions essay?” Harry asked as they reached the common room. “I’ve got most of the theory, but since I didn’t make it in class I’m not clear about the reaction and it’s due tomorrow.”

“Of course, I’d be happy to,” Hermione answered with an understanding smile.

****  
Remus stood in the shadows near the Shrieking Shack. It seemed he was always waiting in the shadows. Always waiting on Harry. Harry had written a week ago and asked to meet him in Hogsmeade the next weekend. Remus hadn’t replied, but he knew that Harry would look for him anyway. He watched the students arrive, watched the Aurors who stood guard around the town smile at their antics. And he watched Harry as he drifted away from his friends. Harry walked toward Scrivenshaft’s only to duck into an alley and pull the invisibility cloak over him. Remus smiled and stepped inside to wait on Harry.

“I wasn’t sure you’d be here.”

“Are you going to take the cloak off?” Remus asked, smiling at empty air.

Harry’s grinning face appeared across the room. He limped across the room, the cane barely making any noise on the hardwood floor. Harry sat on the dilapidated sofa and looked expectantly at Remus. Remus sighed and sat beside him.

“Why did you leave so quickly? Without even saying good-bye?” Harry asked after fidgeting for several minutes.

“There wasn’t time,” Remus answered with a sigh. “I’m sorry, Harry. I’m glad you got my gift, though.”

“Dumbledore told you to leave, didn’t he?”

“Professor Dumbledore asked me to run some errands for him. There wasn’t time to say good-bye.”

“I wish you wouldn’t lie to me, Remus.”

“Harry, I don’t….”

“Dumbledore told you to stay away from me,” Harry interrupted. “He kicked you off school grounds and wouldn’t let you come say good-bye.” Harry looked at Remus calmly. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“Dumbledore takes care of you. He’s always done what’s in your best interests.”

“He made me stay at the Dursley’s!” Harry said angrily. “Even after he knew how they treated me. He took you away from me and he’s still trying to keep us apart. Dumbledore does what’s in his own best interests and he doesn’t give a damn about me.”

“That’s not true,” Remus said softly.

“It is true and you know it.” Harry gently touched Remus’ hand where it lay between them. “I miss you. I know you can’t visit at the school anymore and I know that Dumbledore is the reason why.”

Remus smiled. “You’re too smart for your own good, Potter.”

Harry grinned. “I’ve had a few good teachers at Hogwarts.”

Remus motioned toward Harry’s cane leaning against the edge of the sofa. “I see you’re walking pretty well.”

Harry nodded. “I still get tired; there are a lot of stairs at Hogwarts, but I have been doing really well. I do like the cane, and it comes in really handy, especially at the end of the day.”

“Is Madam Pomfrey still forcing potions on you?”

“Yeah, but only about once a week now.”

“How are classes? Are you all caught up?” Remus asked.

“Yeah, they’re fine,” Harry answered with a nod. “Hermione helped me get caught up with most of them, but I was ahead in Charms and Care of Magical Creatures.”

“Is everything else okay? Is anyone giving you a hard time?”

Harry shrugged. “Not really. I mean a few Slytherins as usual, but nothing too bad. I’m off the Quidditch team.”

Remus blinked at the change in subject. “Have you tried flying again?”

Harry shook his head. “There wasn’t time before the first match after I was hurt so I had to give up my spot. It’s okay.”

“You should try again.”

“Yeah, maybe I will.” Harry shrugged. “It doesn’t matter much anymore.”

“I thought you loved Quidditch.”

“I do, but other things are more important. I should get back soon. Ron and Hermione will be looking for me. I’m glad you were here today. You’ll write me won’t you?” Harry spoke in a rush and Remus paused to untangle the words before he answered.

“I’ll write. Don’t let Dumbledore know that we met.”

Harry nodded and stood slowly. “Do you think maybe we can meet again before school is out?”

“Is there another Hogsmeade weekend?”

“No, but I could sneak out. We could meet here again.” Harry looked at Remus earnestly, and he smiled.

“Maybe. It’s safer if you stay in school, though.”

“Yeah, I guess. I need to go.”

Harry walked slowly toward the door.

“Harry,” Remus called softly.

Harry turned. Remus stepped toward him and wrapped his arms around him. Harry snuggled against him and wrapped his arms around Remus’ waist. “I miss you.”

Remus smiled sadly and rubbed his cheek against Harry’s temple. “I miss you, too.” Remus released him slowly. “Go meet your friends.”


	10. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summer between Sixth and Seventh year, Harry leaves the Dursleys for the last time and Remus and Harry grow closer.

Remus hammered another nail into the board he was holding and nearly dropped the hammer on his toe as a shadow fell across him and talons dug into his arm. He smiled and shook his arm gently, urging Hedwig to settle in a nearby tree. She hooted dolefully and perched on the pile of wood nearby. Remus finished attaching the board quickly and turned to the owl.

“I’m sorry, Hedwig. You startled me. Another letter from Harry?” The owl preened as Remus smoothed the feathers on her head and back before removing the letter. “There’s water and owl treats inside for you.” Hedwig hooted again and nipped at his fingers as he removed the letter and flew inside as soon as he was done.

Remus smiled as he read the letter. Dumbledore had sent a letter home with Harry telling the Dursleys that he had to stay with them this summer, despite being seventeen. Harry reported that they left him alone and didn’t even force him to eat with them, especially since he carried his cane with him everywhere, despite barely needing it anymore.

Remus read the letter twice before slipping it inside his robe and returning to work. He still had quite a bit of work to do and only three weeks to get it done in. He set his hammer and nails aside three hours later and stepped back to survey his work. The cottage hadn’t been in a terrible state when he arrived, but it was still in desperate need of repair. Luckily it hadn’t been infested by many magical or non-magical creatures, only a field mouse or two and a boggart that was quickly dispatched. Remus petted Hedwig as he passed.

“I’ll write Harry this evening, if you don’t mind waiting.” She opened one yellow eye and hooted. Remus smiled, cleaned up and fixed himself some dinner before finally settling down to write Harry.

****  
Remus stepped back and looked around the room, taking care to notice if any additional work was needed. All in all, the room looked warm and inviting. Remus checked the time again and smiled. He’d waited long enough, and if he was a little early, well, it would do them some good.

Remus strode up the walk, looking for all the world as if he belonged, despite his patched robe and worn jumper. He rang the bell and bounced on the balls of his feet. The neighborhood was still quiet, but he heard voices from inside and new for certain that they were awake. He smiled as he saw a large shadow move toward the door.

“What do you want?”

Remus’ smile grew. “I’m here for Harry Potter. Can I come in?” Remus didn’t wait for an answer but pushed Vernon Dursley aside as he walked in and closed the door behind him.

"I remember you. You’re one of those freaks from the train station.”

“That’s right. And I think you should know that Harry is of legal age now and perfectly within his rights to perform magic outside of school.” The smile fell from Remus’ face. “As am I. Where is Harry?”

Vernon Dursley’s face paled comically and he backed away from Remus before pointing upstairs.

“Thank you. Go back to your breakfast.”

Vernon backed slowly toward the kitchen, closing the door behind him, but leaving it open a crack to peek out. Remus chuckled and started up the stairs. He frowned at the door with locks on the outside, until he noticed that it wasn’t locked. Remus knocked softly, but the door fell open under his hand. He opened the door, peeked inside, and laughed. Harry sat in the middle of his bed, his wand in his hand, his trunk packed and waiting in the middle of the room.

“I wondered when you’d get here. I was about ready to send Hedwig off to you and follow her.”

“I’m sorry I’m late. I wanted to wait for sunrise.”

“I’ve been ready since midnight. Can we get out of here?”

Remus nodded and grabbed a handle on Harry’s trunk, frowning as he watched Harry gather his cane and the owl cage. “I thought you could walk without that now.”

Harry leaned on his cane and grinned. “I can, unless I’m tired. But I do need a little help on the stairs. And it scares the Dursleys for some reason.”

Remus laughed and led the way downstairs. He turned toward the kitchen door and smirked when it slammed shut. Harry joined him and turned to the front door.

“Go say good-bye, Harry.”

“I really don’t want to.”

“I know, but they did take you in. And your aunt protected you over the years.”

Harry sighed, nodded, and set off toward the kitchen. Remus set the trunk down and followed. Harry stood just inside the door, looking at the Durselys who were huddled on the far side of the table.

“I’m leaving now. I guess I won’t see you again unless you want me to.”

Harry turned to leave, but turned around again at Remus’ pointed stare. “Thanks for taking me in and taking care of me all those years. I know you hated it, and I’m sorry for that. I wish things could have been different. I would have liked to have had a real family, but, well….” Harry turned again and brushed past Remus to the entrance hall. Remus waited until Harry stepped out onto the front porch before stepping fully into the room and turning to the Dursleys.

“You have no idea what you’ve done. Harry is more important than you can imagine and despite how you’ve treated him, you have protected him and he’s grown into an amazing person. He cares deeply for people and has nearly died dozens of times to protect the world from Voldemort, who I know even you’ve heard of.” Remus paused and swallowed a grin as the Dursleys shivered. “Thank you for taking care of him. But don’t ever try and find him. He doesn’t need you anymore and I don’t want him to have to put up with you.” Remus smiled and left the kitchen, closing the door behind him.

Harry stood on the stoop, gazing around the neighborhood. “I don’t suppose I’ll ever see this place again.”

“You can if you want to.”

“I don’t.” Harry lifted Hedwig’s cage and grasped one end of the trunk. “How are we traveling?”

“We could take the Knight Bus, if you wanted. Or we could take a muggle taxi to the Leaky Cauldron and take the floo.”

“Which is quicker?”

“Knight Bus, I suppose.”

Harry nodded and summoned the Knight Bus, clambering on board and paying without glancing at Remus. Remus smiled at the conductor, gave their destination and followed Harry to the top of the bus, which was empty this time of day. Harry slouched down into his armchair and stared out the window. Remus sat across from him and watched him brood.

“I wish you hadn’t made me say that.”

“I know, but I’m not sorry.”

Harry glared at Remus from under his fringe and turned his gaze back to the passing landscape jumping out of the bus’s way. “Think of it this way: by thanking them you showed them that you were the bigger person. They treated you like shit most of your life, but you were able to see beyond that and thank them for lending their protection. James would be so proud.”

Harry glanced at Remus and eventually smiled. “Thanks. Where are we going?”

“I have a small cottage near Plymouth. But you should receive your parent’s will, as well as Sirius’ if I’m not mistaken, tomorrow. So you could live at Grimmauld place, or one of your parent’s houses. I believe the one in Godric’s Hollow is still there, but you’ll have to fix it up.”

“Why tomorrow?” Harry frowned and shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

“Gringotts has control over magical wills and they always wait until the day after a wizard’s seventeenth birthday to deliver them if they’ve already inherited. I’m not sure exactly why, but it’s probably due to the fact that there’s a lot to do concerning a will and there’s more time to conduct official business the day after majority.”

“What will I have to do?”

“You’ll have to go to Gringotts after you receive the wills and look them over. You’ll have to sign some papers at the bank, indicating that you understand the wills, that you intend to take control of the property, and then you’ll receive deeds and any keys that were left to you.”

“Will you help me understand them?”

Remus nodded. “It’s not really that difficult. You know how straightforward the goblins are. I didn’t have any trouble with my parent’s will.”

“When did you get that?”

“The day after my seventeenth birthday.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“It’s alright. They died when I was sixteen. Professor Dumbledore helped me understand what was going to happen and offered to explain their will to me if I didn’t understand it. As it turned out, I was able to understand most of it myself and James helped with anything I wasn’t clear on.”

“Was it before the, um, before Sirius told Snape…?”

Remus smiled sadly. “A few weeks after. They had been killed by Death Eaters. I never found out why. I went home for a few days for their funeral and to close up the house. When I returned to Hogwarts it was almost time for exams. James offered to let me stay with him for the summer, but there wasn’t anywhere for me to stay when I transformed, and his parents didn’t know. And Sirius was living with him.”

“When did you and Sirius make up?”

“We never really did. I’m not sure he really understood what he had done to me or to Snape. He probably felt more remorse after he went to Azkaban, but Sirius was never able to accept responsibility for his actions.”

“But you two were friends,” Harry remarked with a frown.

Remus smiled. “Yes, we were. But you have to understand that I had lost everyone who ever meant anything to me, including you. I missed Sirius when he was in prison, as much as I missed James and Peter. But I also knew that the friend I thought I had had in Sirius was gone as soon as he told Snape how to find me.”

“But in the shack, during third year, you forgave him.”

“I forgave him for thinking I was the traitor, just like he forgave me. He never asked for forgiveness for telling Snape how to get to the shack, and I never gave it to him.” Remus glanced out the window. “Here we are. Can you manage the stairs and the owl cage?”

Harry nodded and followed Remus down to the first floor and out the door. They stood in front of a small cottage set near some woods, about half a mile from a muggle road. “It’s not much, but it’s near the woods and there aren’t many people that live nearby. There’s a muggle town about five miles from here, and Plymouth isn’t far.”

“It looks great.”

Remus laughed. “You’re just saying that because you know there aren’t any Dursleys inside. Wait until you actually see it before you say that.”

Harry grinned and followed Remus in. The main room of the cottage was a large open area comprised of a living room, kitchen, and dining room combination. The walls were plain, wooden planks, and the sofa looked worn but comfortable. Most of the walls opposite the fireplace were taken up with bookshelves that were filled to overflowing and had books piled in front of them as well. A scarred kitchen table with five mismatched chairs stood behind the sofa. A desk stood underneath a large window facing the woods and was cluttered with scrolls, books and quills. A chair, an ottoman and a small table stood in front of the fireplace; a small stack of books sat underneath a lamp on the table. There were two doors on either side of the fireplace and two more opened off the back of the kitchen. Remus led the way to one door beside the fireplace and ushered Harry inside. “This is your room. I tried to fix it up a bit, but you can change anything you like.” Harry glanced around at the warm room. The walls were plastered and painted a light green. A scrap quilt covered an iron bed, a comfortable looking armchair stood in front of the small fireplace in the corner. Hedwig hooted cheerfully from her perch on the chest of drawers. Gauzy curtains covered a window facing the road. Harry set the owl cage on the floor near the chest of drawers and turned back to Remus, standing anxiously by the door, and grinned. “It’s great.”

Remus smiled and stepped back to the main room. “My room’s on the other side of the fireplace.” He pointed to the doors off the kitchen. “The door on the right leads to the bathroom, small, but it works. The door on the left leads to the cellar. I lock myself in during the full moon.”

Harry frowned. “Don’t you take the Wolfsbane potion?”

“Yes, but I don’t take any chances.”

Harry opened his mouth to argue but Remus turned away. “Are you hungry? I’m sure you didn’t eat this morning. Or if you’re tired I can make something later and you can nap. Have you really been up since midnight?”

Harry followed Remus’ movements with his eyes, watching him fuss with the throw on the back of the sofa, straighten a kitchen chair, wandering around the room until he finally came to rest in front of the ice box, peering inside.

“I slept a little, I’m not too tired.”

Remus nodded and began pulling food from the box. “I’ll fix breakfast. Probably won’t be much of what you’re used to but….”

“It’s fine, Remus.” Harry interrupted and settled at the table. “Whatever you fix is fine.”

Remus nodded and began fixing breakfast. Harry watched him work and wondered how long it would take before Remus felt comfortable having him in his home.

Breakfast was a quiet meal, interrupted only by a flurry of owls half way through. Harry relieved the owls of their burdens and continued eating. After they had finished breakfast, Remus sat nursing a mug of tea while he watched Harry open the presents he had received from his friends. He smiled at Harry’s laugh when he opened Ron’s gift of Chocolate Frogs. “He always gives me sweets.” Hermione’s gift was a thin book. Harry frowned. “A journal. That’s different.” He opened Hagrid’s gift of rock cakes and set it aside before turning to the letter he had taken from the last owl. “It’s from Dumbledore.” Harry set it aside as well. “I think I’ll read it later.” He looked at Remus. “Can you teach me to apparate? I want to get my license before I go back to school.”

Remus nodded and smiled. “That’s assuming that you actually pass your test.”

Harry frowned. “How hard is it really?”

“It can be quite difficult. Most witches and wizards don’t bother with it. But if you’re able to apparate you can usually learn quickly. Do you want to start now?”

Harry nodded.

“Then let’s go outside.” Harry followed Remus as he stepped outside and away from the house and quickly entered lecture mode. “The key to learning to apparate is acknowledging the fact that everything is connected. There are cords that connect one place with another, one thing with another and if you find that particular cord, you can travel from one place to another instantaneously. That’s apparating in a nutshell. It’s best to learn by closing your eyes and concentrating on where you are. Extend your magical sense until you can feel the magic pulsing around you. You’ll know it when you feel it. Once you feel the magic, sift through it until you find the cords surrounding you. Take the cord that binds you to where you are and extend your magical senses until you can identify how that cord binds you to where you are.”

Harry closed his eyes and concentrated as Remus explained. He could feel the magic pulsing in him, around him, working through him. He felt that if he opened his eyes he would be able to see the magic in the air around him. He opened his eyes and was blinded by the sunlight filling the clearing. Harry frowned and closed his eyes again until he could feel the magic again.

“Can you feel the cords? You can feel it surrounding you and binding you to the area around you. Underneath are smaller, more fragile cords that lead away from where you are. Find one and follow it along. You can feel it pulling you.”

Harry gasped and opened his eyes. He fell forward onto his knees. Remus leaned over him.

“Are you alright?”

Harry nodded.

“Take it easy. There’s no hurry, and it’s not easy. You’re doing very well.”

“I could feel it,” Harry said breathlessly. “The magic and the cords. I felt them.”

Remus smiled and helped Harry to his feet. “If you can feel them already, then you won’t have any trouble apparating.”

Forty-five minutes later, Harry stood staring at Remus, his body drooping in exhaustion as he listened again to Remus’ garbled explanation of how apparating worked. He scowled at Remus’ smile and the arm that was slung over his shoulder as he was led inside.

“I think you should get some rest. You didn’t get enough sleep last night and you need to be fresh before you can learn to apparate successfully. Just take a nap and we’ll try again after lunch.”

Remus pushed him down to sit on his bed, kneeling to remove his trainers. Harry stared at Remus’ smile as he pushed him down onto the bed. “I’ll wake you when lunch is ready.” Remus turned and left and Harry swallowed the words he wanted to say. Instead he watched the door close, turned onto his side and fell into an exhausted slumber.

****

Remus stood in the doorway watching Harry sleep. Lunch was growing cold on the table, but he paid it no mind. Harry lay on his back, his face turned toward the door. A shaft of light from the window fell across his face, highlighting the messy hair and the scar. Harry frowned slightly in his sleep, and it to spurred Remus to action. He stepped quietly into the room and over to the bed.

“Harry.” Remus shook Harry’s shoulder lightly. “Harry, lunch is ready.”

Harry’s eyes fluttered open and he smacked his mouth lightly. “’ime zit?”

“What?”

Harry shifted onto his side and closed his eyes again. “Time?”

“It’s almost one. Are you hungry?”

Harry mumbled but didn’t open his yes.

“Whenever you’re ready to eat, lunch is on the table.”

Remus turned to leave, but stopped when a hand grasped at his sleeve. He caught a glimpse of green beneath Harry’s lashes and raised a questioning brow.

“Stay?”

“Harry….”

“Just stay.” Harry closed his eyes but pulled on Remus’ sleeve until he stumbled into the bed. Harry shifted aside and pulled on the sleeve again. Remus pulled Harry’s hand off his sleeve and sat on the edge, removed his shoes and leaned back against the headboard, stretching his legs out in front of him. Harry shifted again, one arm swinging across Remus’ thighs and his forehead pressed against his hip. Remus sighed and carded his hand through Harry’s hair, hoping that the stew he had prepared for lunch would stand up to a heating charm later, and carefully trying to ignore the curl of heat in his belly and the urge to slide down and wrap his entire body in Harry’s embrace.

****

Harry closed his eyes and clenched his fists in frustration. Remus laid a comforting hand on his shoulder, but Harry shrugged it off.

“Just relax. I told you how difficult it is. You’re doing very well for someone just beginning. And at least you haven’t splinched yourself.”

Harry opened his eyes and tried to smile at Remus’ grin, but couldn’t quite bring it off.

“Look, we’ll stop for today, you can get a good meal in you and a decent night’s sleep and you’ll do better tomorrow.”

“I don’t want to wait until tomorrow. Why can’t we just keep going?”

“Because you’re tired and frustrated. You need to be calm while you learn to apparate. I’ll give you a book to read tonight that explains more of the theory behind it and it will help. You’ll do fine tomorrow. Why are you in such a hurry to learn to apparate anyway?”

“I want to pass the test before I go back to school.”

“We have a month, yet, Harry. There really is no hurry. Come inside and I’ll start dinner.”

Harry sighed and followed Remus in, collapsing onto the couch while Remus searched the bookshelves.

“Here. This explains the theory better than I did.”

Harry took the book and quickly became immersed in the theory behind apparating while Remus prepared supper.

After supper, Harry helped with clean-up and questioned Remus on what he had read before dinner. They fell into a deep discussion about will and the force of power in spell casting. The kitchen table became covered with books and bits of parchment and they debated magical intention until they were interrupted by an irate owl.

Remus removed the letter quickly and ducked as the owl hovered expectantly on the back of his chair. He stared at the letter in his hand with trepidation.

“I’m surprised he didn’t send a howler.”

“Who?”

Remus smiled and held the letter up. “Dumbledore.” The owl behind him began pulling at his hair with his beak. “Okay, okay, I’m opening it.” The owl settled down as Remus removed the heavy parchment. “Harry, did you read the letter that Dumbledore sent you this morning?”

“Not yet. Why?”

Remus smiled and looked up. “I think he’s angry with us. Go get your letter.”

Harry frowned but retrieved the letter from the small desk in his room. He read it as he walked back to the kitchen table. He finished reading quickly and tossed the letter down in front of Remus. “He wanted me to stay at the Dursley’s.”

Remus smiled and handed Harry his letter. Harry smirked. “At least he admitted I could do what I wanted now.” He cast a hesitant look at Remus. “You’re not going to make me go back, are you?”

“No. But I am going to make you write Dumbledore.” He rose from his chair, ignoring the owl’s angry squawk as his perch moved suddenly, and brought clean parchment back to the table.

Harry scowled when Remus set the parchment in front of him. “Why can’t you write him?”

“I am. But you need to tell him that this is your decision.”

Harry lifted the quill, but set it down again. “What do I say?”

Remus smiled and started on his own letter. “Tell him whatever you want.”

Harry lifted his quill again. “You’re no help,” he muttered.

Remus grinned. “According to Dumbledore I’m a kidnapper and a possible child molester. Of course I’m no help.”

Harry snorted and started on his own letter. Fifteen minutes later, the owl was winging its way back to Dumbledore and Harry and Remus continued their discussion.

****

Harry spent the next morning trying to apparate, and nearly succeeded in splinching himself before Remus called a halt for lunch. The owls from Gringotts arrived as Remus predicted they would, but Harry set the wills aside in favor of trying to apparate again. He closed his eyes, finding it easier to gather his will and pinpoint his location by doing so, and opened his eyes to find he was on the other side of the clearing. Remus turned to him with a smile. Harry grinned and apparated to his original location in the clearing. Remus laughed and Harry found himself joining in before running to Remus and throwing his arms around him.

“I did it! I did it! I did it!”

Remus wrapped his arms around Harry’s waist and stilled his jumping. “Yes, you did.”

Harry grinned and leaned back in Remus’ arms. “When can we go take the test?”

“We could go tomorrow, if you wanted. Or we could wait until your Hogwarts letter arrives and get your school supplies at the same time.”

“Tomorrow. Let’s go tomorrow.”

Remus released his hold on Harry and they stepped away from each other. “Then we’ll go tomorrow. But no more apparating until then. They’ll fine us both if you do.”

Harry nodded. They stood staring at each other in the awkward silence for a moment.

“We could go over those wills and stop by Gringotts tomorrow, too.”

“I really don’t want to.”

“You don’t want to what?”

Harry sighed and looked toward the forest behind the cottage. “I don’t want to look at their wills.”

“You have to do it soon, Harry. It’s not a good idea --”

“Then you do it for me.” Harry interrupted. “You look them over and tell me what I need to do. I don’t want to see them.”

Remus nodded. “Alright. We still have to go by Gringotts. You’ll have to sign some papers there. I’ll tell you what else you have to do after I’ve looked over the wills.”

“Fine. I’m going to start on homework.”

Harry turned and walked into the cottage. Remus watched him, a frown on his face before h sighed and followed Harry inside.

****  
“Harry?”

Harry mumbled into his pillow and swatted at the hand on his shoulder.

“Harry, it’s nearly ten thirty. You need to get up if you want to get your apparition license today.”

Harry mumbled again and frowned at the laughing voice.

“I promise to let you sleep as late as you want tomorrow if you get up now.”

Harry cracked an eye open and looked blearily at Remus.

“Good morning, Harry.” Remus grinned and pressed his glasses into his hand. Harry sat up and put his glasses on, frowning even more as Remus came into focus. “It’ll probably be crowded at the Ministry. Do you want to get your license today?”

Harry flushed and nodded. Remus grinned and stepped toward the door.

“I’ll see you in a few minutes. Anything in particular you want for breakfast?”

Harry shook his head and cringed as Remus laughed and closed the door behind him. He collapsed back on his pillows and glared at the ceiling. He sat up again and glared at his lap, grateful that the quilt hid most of his erection. Remus had been seventeen once; he knew what happened in the morning. Harry was just grateful that he hadn’t said anything in his sleep. He sighed, threw the quilt aside and pulled his dressing gown on. Remus was sitting at the table, reading the paper and nursing a cup of coffee, and paid no attention to Harry as he stumbled to the washroom. Harry sighed as the door closed behind him and glared at his lap again. It was hell being a teenager.

****  
“I need to tell you what Sirius and your parents left you before we get to Gringotts.”

Harry scowled, but nodded at Remus anyway. They had just boarded the Knight bus and Harry kept his gaze on the scenery outside. He heard Remus sigh but didn’t turn to him.

“Your parents left you the house in Godric’s Hollow and a bit of land along with it. They also had some property in Birmingham, but it doesn’t indicate that there are any structures on it. You’ll probably need to go and check. The house in Godric’s Hollow has never been repaired and if you want to live there you’ll have a lot of work to do on it. They also left some papers for you, which you’ll receive when you sign for them at the bank. You’ll also get another deposit in your account at Gringotts that was held in trust for you by the Goblins. Sirius left you the house at Grimmauld place as well as the contents of his vault. There wasn’t any additional property attached to his estate. Harry, are you listening to me?”

Harry blinked and turned to look at Remus. “I heard you. I have to sign some papers at the bank.” He turned back to the window. “Can we do that last?”

“Harry, I know it feels morbid, but you have to do this.”

“I know, Remus, I heard you,” Harry mumbled, keeping his face turned to the window.

Remus sat back and considered the young man staring studiously out the window. He braced himself against the side of the bus as it came to a screeching halt somewhere in Wales. Harry’s chair slid toward him and Remus caught him before he could tumble to the floor. Instead of helping him back into his chair, Remus held onto his shoulders.

“Harry, look at me.”

Harry blinked tiredly but focused on Remus.

“It’s not just your inheritance, is it?”

Harry shrugged and pulled away from Remus’ hold and sat back in his chair. Remus sighed and decided to let it rest for now.

The day was as exhausting as Remus had been afraid it would be. The line at the ministry didn’t move for twenty minutes and Harry’s celebrity status worried him no end. Harry became more withdrawn as person after person stopped to say hello and offer their admiration. The trip to Gringotts didn’t go any better. No one made a fuss over Harry, but being shown to an office and having a goblin growl at him made Harry cast desperate glances his direction. Remus smiled grimly and stood aside as the goblin explained the transfer of property and escorted Harry to the Black vault, which was now his own. Harry returned from the ride in the bank cart and walked immediately to Remus, standing by the door, bypassing a couple of witches who tried to catch Harry’s eye.

“I want to go home.” Harry stood close to Remus, his head bowed. Remus resisted the urge to pull Harry to him and guided him outside and into an empty alley.

“Are you sure you can apparate?” Harry answered by disappearing. Remus followed and found Harry inside the cottage, on his knees beside the toilet, retching.

Remus dampened a cloth and knelt beside Harry, washing his forehead and the back of his neck. Harry leaned against him, his eyes closed and his body trembling. Remus settled beside him and pulled him back against his chest. Neither spoke and Remus was uncertain how long they sat on the bathroom floor before he felt Harry stir.

“I think I’ll take a nap.”

Remus tightened his hold briefly before releasing him. Harry sat up and turned to him.

“What about lunch?”

Harry’s mouth twisted into a grim smile. “I’m not hungry.”

Remus watched Harry stand and walk away and listened for the closing of Harry’s door. He wrapped his arms around his chest and closed his eyes. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to have Harry stay with him the rest of the summer.

****  
Remus smiled when he heard Harry’s laughter from outside. The two weeks since their trip to the Ministry and Gringotts had passed quickly, and the tension between them had eased until everything felt natural between them again. Harry had visited the Weasley’s in nearby Ottery St. Catchpole several days last week, but had spent the last week working on his homework and taking over normal house-keeping chores from Remus. Harry had taken Remus’ recovery from the full moon very seriously, and still had a tendency to hover over him four days later. Remus had locked himself in the basement, despite Harry’s protest, and had forbidden Harry to check on him in the morning after the full moon. The fatigue that lingered after his transformations had worried Harry, but Remus had finally convinced him to take a break and do a bit of flying. He looked up from the book he was reading to glance out the window. Harry flew just above the trees and Remus held his breath as he suddenly dove into the woods before reappearing a few minutes later in the clearing, scant feet from the ground. Remus released his breath in a rush as Harry tumbled to the ground, rolled onto his back and flung his arms out to the side. He smiled and turned his attention back to the text in front of him.

An hour later, Remus started when warm arms wrapped around his chest and a knobby chin rested on his shoulder. “What are you working on?”

“I took your suggestion. I’ve started working on a book about dark creatures, including certain ancient myths and recent research that debunks some of those myths.”

He felt Harry smile against his neck. “How’s it going?”

“Very well, actually.” Remus paused before continuing. “Sirius left me his library, which has been tremendously useful.”

Harry’s arms tightened, but he didn’t pull away as Remus expected him to.

“What do you want for supper?”

“I was going to cook --”

“I’m cooking,” Harry interrupted. “What do you want?”

“I’m not helpless, you know.”

Harry pulled away and stepped around Remus’ chair to perch on the desk. “I know you’re not, but I don’t mind cooking or doing anything else that needs to be done.”

“You don’t have to --”

“I’ll be gone in a few weeks and then you can do everything yourself again,” Harry interrupted again. “Would you just let me do this while I’m here?”

Remus grinned. “Fine. Wait on me hand and foot.”

Harry laughed. “I will if I want to.”

“Have you finished all your homework?”

Harry made a face. “No, mother, but I’ll finish it this week.” Harry stood up and squeezed Remus’ shoulder. “I’ll get some tea started.”

Remus smiled and listened to Harry bustle about the kitchen for a moment before turning back to the book lying open in front of him.

Remus looked up several hours later when the smell of dinner rolled across his senses. He blinked at the light spilling over his desk from the lamp that hadn’t been lit by him and turned toward the kitchen. Harry was sitting the table and smiled when he noticed Remus watching him.

“I was about to try and interrupt your concentration. Glad I don’t have to now. I’ve never seen anyone get so involved in research, not even Hermione.” Harry chuckled when Remus continued to stare blankly at him. “Come and eat, Remus.”

Remus stood, stretched until his back popped, and picked up the empty tea cup with a frown. “You made tea.”

Harry hummed. “About three hours ago. I set a cup by your elbow and refilled it a few times, and you never even looked up. I’m almost afraid that you’ll forget to eat after I go back to Hogwarts. I suppose I could apparate back every now and then and make sure you’re eating and sleeping.”

“No you couldn’t.” Remus frowned and walked across the room to settle at the table. “It’s too far to apparate. And you shouldn’t be off school grounds without permission, anyway.”

“Then you’ll have to promise me that you’ll surface occasionally to eat and sleep. And if you don’t answer my letters in less than three days I’ll just have to break a few rules.” Harry grinned.

Remus smiled and turned his attention to the meal in front of him. “What did you do while I was busy?”

Harry flushed lightly. “Read a bit. Didn’t want to start homework, so I went through your books. I hope that’s okay.”

“Of course it is.” Remus hid a grin and kept his gaze focused on his plate. “You just read?”

“Yeah.” Harry turned his attention to his own plate.

Remus glanced up and snorted before covering his humor with a cough. Harry poured him a glass of water and watched him anxiously for a minute.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Just tried to breathe and swallow at the same time.” Remus waved Harry away. “Sit down and finish eating; stop hovering.”

Harry resumed eating, but cast glances at Remus throughout. After they had finished eating, Harry shooed Remus away from the kitchen. Remus watched Harry, chuckling when Harry cast surreptitious glances at him and blushed each time he was caught, until Harry joined him with his Transfiguration textbook.

“Is there something you need to confess, Harry?”

Harry dropped his book. “What?”

Remus smiled and pulled gently on a lock of Harry’s hair. “Is there something you need to tell me?”

“What? No.” Harry retrieved his book from the floor “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You keep looking at me, Harry. What’s going on?”

Harry turned red and shifted on the sofa. “Nothing.”

“Harry….”

“It’s nothing, okay. Nothing’s going on. Everything’s fine.”

Remus watched Harry fuss with his book and parchment.

“I’m sorry. I’m not used to people watching me or fussing over me.”

Harry’s blush faded, though he still fiddled with his parchment. “It’s okay. I’m not used to worrying about someone so much.”

“You don’t have to worry about me, Harry.”

“I know.”

“I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I’ve been doing it for years.”

“I know.” Harry said shortly.

“And I’m not used to having someone who wants to take care of me.”

Harry shut his book and set it aside. “Well, get used to it. I can’t help it.”

Remus tugged on Harry’s hair again before running his hand over his tense shoulder. “Neither can I. We’ll get used to it.”

Harry nodded and pulled one of his knees to his chest, resting his chin on it. “What are you doing tomorrow?”

Remus blinked at the question. “Research. Maybe do a bit of cleaning if my watcher will let me.” Remus smiled. “Why?”

Harry shrugged and lowered his foot to the floor again, resting his forearms on his thighs and leaning forward. “I thought maybe we could do something. Fun. Together.”

“Like what?”

Harry shrugged again. “I don’t know.”

Remus touched Harry’s tense back, rubbing small circles over his curved spine. “We could go into Plymouth. We could eat lunch or something.”

Harry nodded and smiled at Remus. “That would be nice.”

“And maybe we could get you some clothes that fit.”

Harry grimaced. “I guess.”

Remus smiled at Harry’s expression and opened the book he had begun reading the night before. “I thought you were going to do homework.”

Harry’s grimace grew, but he opened his Transfiguration text on his lap and smiled at Remus’ laugh.

***  
Remus stood in the doorway and watched Harry repack his trunk for the fourth time since they had returned from Diagon Alley that afternoon. Harry left for Hogwarts the next day and Remus had let him put off going to Diagon Alley for as long as possible, but had awoken him at six that morning so they could be there before the crowds got too bad. The affect the crowds had had on Harry could have been worse, but every time that Harry had cringed away from someone wanting to shake his hand had made Remus clench his fist to keep from lashing out at the inconsiderate person. Harry had carried his cane with him, something he hadn’t done since Remus had taken him away from the Dursley’s, and it worried him when he considered that Harry was probably using the cane as a crutch against the crowds more than as an assistant.

“Harry, your trunk is packed. Put that away and come out and talk to me.”

Harry looked up and smiled sheepishly. “Sorry. I don’t mean to ignore you.”

“You’re not ignoring me, but you’re done. Come on.”

Harry stood and let Remus lead him out into the main room. He handed Harry a bottle of butterbeer and sat on the sofa beside him.

“Your last year at Hogwarts.”

“Yeah.” Harry sipped slowly from his bottle.

“What are you going to do after you’re done?”

Harry shrugged. “Can’t be an Auror or play Quidditch.”

“You haven’t considered anything else?”

“Not really. I haven’t thought that far ahead.”

“You weren’t sure that you were going to survive,” Remus said softly.

Harry stared silently out at the dark forest. “Maybe.”

Remus reached over and grasped Harry’s hand. “You don’t have to worry about that. You’ve been a survivor since you were born. You survived Voldemort more times than anyone should ever have to and you survived the Dursleys.”

Harry laughed. “I think it was harder surviving the Dursleys.”

Remus smiled. “What do you want to do?”

Harry shrugged and Remus chuckled.

“Okay, what do you like to do?”

Harry shrugged again. Remus shook his hand loose from Harry’s grip and, ignoring the slightly pained expression on Harry’s face, rose from the couch and walked over to the bookcase on the opposite side of the room. Harry sighed and returned his gaze to the window and the forest. Remus pulled a slim volume from the shelves and dropped it into Harry’s lap, sitting slightly closer than he had been before.

“I had even fewer options than you will when I finished school. I had a little money from my parents, which I used to buy this place. I spent most of my time helping Dumbledore during the first war. After that I took odd jobs whenever I could, worked a bit in the Muggle world, where they don’t ask as many questions and never had any idea about me.” Remus smiled sadly. “James gave me this book shortly before you were born. I won’t say that it helped much, but it did give me an idea of the options that I had.”

Harry looked at the title and laughed. “What to do with your education before it all leaks out your ears.”

Remus smiled. “I thought at first that it was a joke. And I suppose it was, but it also helped. There are a lot of things you can do with your life. You just need an idea of what they are, something that most young people don’t know at all.”

“I got career advice during fifth year.”

“And did McGonagall tell you what professions were available or did she hand you the same pamphlet that I got during fifth year and ask you what you wanted to do?”

“I got the pamphlet.”

“And I’m sure it was very helpful, but it was also very small, wasn’t it?”

Harry flipped through the pages and nodded absently. “What if I don’t find what I want to do in here?”

Remus smiled. “Sirius was very wealthy. So were your parents. You could just live off the interest the rest of your life and become a wealthy icon to the wizarding world.”

Harry shoved his shoulder against Remus playfully. “I guess I could hide my wand in my cane and carry it around like Lucius Malfoy did.”

Remus grinned. “You could use it to scare young children.”

“Look down my nose at pure-blood wizards.”

“Trip elderly in the streets.”

“That’s just mean.”

“I thought that was the goal: be a rich, overbearing icon to the world.”

Harry pushed against Remus again, but Remus retaliated this time, tickling Harry until he fell onto the floor, gasping from laughing too much. Remus followed him onto the floor, kneeling over him, his knees resting on either side of Harry’s hips. Harry shrieked with laughter, twisting about and grabbing at Remus’ hands trying to stop the tickle attack. They ended up gasping for breath on the hearth rug, Harry on his side, and Remus half kneeling behind Harry. Something rose up within Remus as he lay beside him, smelling the unique scent of Harry that rose up to him from the heated skin. Harry’s back brushed against his chest with each gasping breath. Remus nuzzled Harry’s neck, inhaling deeply, brushing the hair from his nape to settle his mouth there. Harry froze and Remus pushed him forward gently, until he lay on his stomach. Remus settled half on Harry’s back, laying one leg over Harry’s thighs, his hands wrapping around Harry’s shoulders. Remus opened his mouth against Harry’s skin, inhaling deeply before lapping at Harry’s nape with his tongue.

“Remus?”

Remus growled low in his throat and held Harry’s shoulders to the floor before biting down on Harry’s nape.

Harry’s breath hissed in his throat as he felt Remus’ teeth sink into him. It didn’t hurt, much, and it didn’t break the skin, but it invoked a strange and frightening sensation that curled up from Harry’s belly, curling through his body until his fingers and toes tingled. Harry was caught between the desire to press back against Remus and demand more and the urge to push Remus away from him. Harry gasped when Remus growled again and released the flesh between his teeth to lap at the spot again. Remus settled against Harry, licking at Harry’s nape and the area behind his ear. Harry shuttered and tried to move against Remus, but he was held too tightly. Remus froze at Harry’s aborted movement.

“Remus?”

“Shit.”

Harry closed his eyes at the word whispered against his neck and flinched when he was suddenly released and the warmth against his back disappeared completely. He rolled over and sat up. Remus stood on the other side of the room, his fists clenched in his hair and an anguished expression on his face. Harry stood and approached, but stopped as Remus whirled away from him.

“Remus, what…?” Harry lightly touched the back of his neck. “What happened? Did you…?” Harry swallowed painfully. “Did you – what did you do?”

Remus dropped his hands to his sides but didn’t turn to Harry. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know why – how….”

“Remus, did you….. Look at me!”

Remus turned and Harry stepped back at the horrified expression on his face.

“Did you turn me?”

Remus eyes widened in shock and he stepped toward Harry, stopping when Harry backed away from him. “No! No, Harry, I would never do that to you. I don’t know why, or how, this happened.”

“What is it, Remus?”

“I-I marked you.” Remus whispered.

“What?”

Remus shook his head, closed his eyes, and leaned wearily against the counter.

“Remus! What does that mean? What do you mean you marked me?” Harry stalked forward until he stood in front of Remus, trapping him against the counter.

“I marked you as my m-mate.”

Harry stepped back a step.

“I’m sorry, Harry, I don’t know why, I don’t understand how or why it happened now, but – I’m so sorry.”

“Stop apologizing!” Harry rubbed the back of his neck irritably and winced when his hand touched the tender flesh. Remus closed his eyes at the expression. “It’s okay. It doesn’t matter.”

Remus released a harsh laugh. “It does matter. Everything has changed. I’ve marked you as mine. You’re as much a part of me now as my right arm.”

Harry grimaced. “You mean I wasn’t important to you before.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Remus hissed. “Of course you were important before, but you belong to me now.” Harry stepped back as Remus stalked forward. “Do you have any idea how difficult it’s going to be to let you go now? You don’t even realize how much I want to grab you and claim you completely right now.” Remus stretched a hand toward Harry, but clenched it into a fist before he could touch him and stepped back. “Go into your room. Close the door and place a ward on it.”

Remus turned away and bowed his head.

“Remus….”

“Do it now!”

Harry jumped and ran to his room, slamming the door behind him and leaning against it. He jumped again when he heard something crash against the wall in the living room and quickly placed a ward around his room. He listened intently, but didn’t hear any other sounds of destruction. Harry spent the night sitting on the floor, leaning against the side of the bed, his wand clenched in his fist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The way that Remus describes apparation to Harry is loosely based on String Theory, which I know only enough about to decide it works as an apparation method.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry returns to Hogwarts and Ron, Hermione and Harry discover a new mystery.

Harry removed the wards and opened his door cautiously. Remus wasn’t in the main room. He glanced around, but whatever Remus had broken the night before had been cleaned up. He walked over to Remus’ room and knocked lightly, pushing the door open when there was no answer. The room was empty and the bed hadn’t been slept in. Harry sighed and went back to his own room for Hedwig and his trunk. It was early enough that he didn’t have to rush yet to get to the station, but he knew that he couldn’t take the time to look for Remus, either. Which Remus probably knew very well. Harry glanced around again, looking for a note or something from Remus. He pulled his trunk behind him and stepped outside, leaning the trunk on its side, and scanned the woods near the house.

“Remus? Will you at least come and say good-bye to me?” Harry waited, knowing that Remus was near and that he could hear him. “Remus, please?”

Harry stepped onto the lawn and looked toward the woods. “Remus, I have to go.” Harry sighed and grabbed his owl cage and trunk. “I’ll send Hedwig when I’ve arrived and you’d better respond or I’ll break every school rule if I have to and come down here to see you. I’ll miss you.”

Remus watched from the woods as Harry met the Muggle taxi that would take him to the train station. “I’ll miss you, too.”

****  
The sorting and the feast went along as they normally did. Professor Dumbledore gave his usual speech and warnings. Harry tapped his fingers on the table until Hermione swatted his hand and glared at him. Ron muffled his laughter in his napkin and rolled his eyes. The Creevey brothers tried to catch Harry’s eyes as they sat whispering between themselves, glancing at him and pointing him out to the first years. Harry gripped his cane until his knuckles turned white, but forced himself to relax and began tapping it on the floor. Hermione glared at him again and made a move to yank the cane from his hand, but they were dismissed before she could complete the action. Harry smirked and watched as Ron and Hermione began herding first years to Gryffindor Tower. He stood to follow behind them, when a hand landed on his shoulder. McGonagall stared at him sternly, her mouth pressed so tight that her lips nearly disappeared.

“The Headmaster would like to speak to you, Potter. Come with me.”

Harry followed her silently to the Headmasters office.

“The password for Gryffindor Tower is Chocolate Frog.”

“Thank you, Professor.”

McGonagall sniffed at him and whispered the password to Dumbledore’s office. Harry stepped onto the rotating staircase and smiled at McGonagall who frowned at him until he lost sight of her. Harry frowned and wondered what he could have possibly done to warrant such a reaction from his head of house. Unless Dumbledore had confided Remus’ and Harry’s relationship to her, he couldn’t think of anything that would make her so upset when the term hadn’t even started yet.

Harry took a deep breath and stood outside Dumbledore’s office, reminding himself that he had defeated Voldemort and that he could handle this confrontation. The door opened before he could knock and he stepped inside.

Dumbledore sat behind his desk and smiled as Harry entered. “Come in, Harry. Have a seat.”

Harry smiled warily and perched on the edge of a chair in front of Dumbledore’s desk.

“First of all, let me simply say that I am glad to see you return to Hogwarts for your final year, and that you should not have any distractions from your school work beyond the typical adolescent distractions.” Dumbledore smiled and Harry smiled weakly in return. “However, I am disappointed that you failed to heed my warnings and left the Dursley’s house on your birthday. I had hoped that the letter I sent you would reach you before you tried to leave, but barring that, I had hoped that you would return to their home after reading my letter.”

“There wasn’t any reason for me to remain at their house, Professor. I’m seventeen; I can make my own decisions,” Harry protested.

“Yes, I know. But you must realize that you are a very popular target for the Death Eaters that got away, and the protection you received by staying at your Aunt’s home would have kept you safe.”

“I stayed there for four weeks. You said that I only had to stay there for a few weeks, calling it home, and it would protect me.”

“Yes, that is true, but I did not intend for you to go out on your own as soon as you reached your seventeenth birthday.”

Harry leaned back in the chair and clenched his hands around the arms of the chair. “It’s not like I ran away. Remus came and took me to his house. I was perfectly safe.”

Dumbledore smiled. “Yes, I’m sure you thought you were --”

“I was,” Harry interrupted angrily. “Remus would never hurt me. I was safer with him than I’ve ever been with the Dursleys. I know what you did to him. I know how you’ve treated him. He could have taken care of me all along but you wouldn’t let him.”

“Harry,” Dumbledore began calmly, “you know very well that Remus could not have taken care of you when you were a child.”

“I’m not a child anymore,” Harry continued. “ I can do what I want. I spent one month with Remus. Nothing happened to me.”

Dumbledore cringed, but his expression changed to a smile so quickly, Harry almost thought he had missed it.

“I’m very pleased that you are safe and sound, but the fact remains that you should not have left your Aunt’s home.”

Harry’s hands tightened on the arms of his chair. “That’s interesting. I was under the impression that when I turned seventeen I was considered an adult in the eyes of the law and could do what I wanted.”

The smile fell from Dumbledore’s face. “Mr. Potter, you are skating very close to insolence.”

“I’m sorry, sir. But you know how much I hated it there. Remus and I are – friends. He’s the closest thing I have to family.”

“The Dursleys are your family, Harry.”

“They’ve never been my family, sir. They’ve never cared about me and it was only fear of you that they allowed me to stay as long as they did. I never wanted to go back there, but every summer I did. When I was able to make my own decisions and do what I thought was best for me, I did. I’m sorry that you feel staying with Remus would be dangerous, but I’ve never been afraid of him and he’s always treated me with affection and respect.”

Dumbledore stared hard at Harry and with a shock Harry realized he was trying to cast Legilimens on him. Harry turned his face away and got to his feet, blocking him as best he could. “It’s very late, sir, and I need to get to my dormitory.”

“Yes, of course, Harry,” Dumbledore answered with a sigh. “Good night.”

“Good night, sir.”

Harry walked as quickly as he could to the door and leaned against the wall outside the spiral staircase to catch his breath. He didn’t think that Dumbledore had been able to break into his mind, but the Headmaster was skilled and subtle. There wasn’t anything to see, anyway. Except for the bite last night, nothing had happened except for some very interesting dreams about Remus. Harry shook his head and slowly made his way to Gryffindor Tower. The common room was empty, save for Ron and Hermione who were obviously waiting for him.

“Where were you, Harry?”

Harry grimaced. “Professor Dumbledore wanted to talk to me.” Harry glanced around the room and made his way to the sofa in front of the fireplace where his friends were waiting. He sat down close to them and leaned toward them, talking quietly. “If I tell you something, do you promise not to freak out?”

Ron’s eyes widened comically and Hermione frowned.

“It depends on what it is, I guess.” Hermione answered slowly.

Harry sighed. “You know what you thought last term, what we talked about?”

Hermione nodded slowly.

“It’s true.”

Ron looked between the two of them, obviously confused. “What did I miss? What did you two talk about?”

Harry turned to Ron. “You remember what we talked about, right after I got released from the hospital wing. About someone who was staying with me.”

Ron frowned. “You mean Re---?”

Hermione slapped a hand over Ron’s mouth before he could finish.

Harry nodded. “We can’t really talk about it.”

Ron pulled Hermione’s hand from his mouth. “I don’t understand.”

Harry sighed. “You know who I stayed with this summer.” Ron nodded slowly. “Some people weren’t happy about it.”

Ron looked more confused, but Hermione looked concerned. “Are you alright?”

Harry smiled grimly and nodded. “I’m fine. But he really wasn’t happy.”

Ron’s eyes widened as he finally caught on. “You mean that….”

“Shh.” Hermione slapped her hand over Ron’s mouth again.

“It’s important that no one else knows about this. It might not be safe.”

Hermione frowned. “Why wouldn’t it be safe?”

“It might put other people in danger.”

Ron removed Hermione’s hand again. “Dum --” Ron broke off at Harry’s scowl. “He would never hurt Re – him.” Ron looked confused again. “I mean, they worked together. And they both protected you.”

“Harry, what about what we talked about later?” Hermione asked. “Is that…?”

Harry nodded and leaned toward Hermione. “Feel the back of my neck.”

Hermione frowned but lifted her hand to his neck. She gasped when she felt the bite mark. “Did he…?”

Harry nodded. “It’s okay.”

“Why on earth would he…?”

“What?” Ron asked.

Hermione frowned at Harry and leaned forward to whisper in Ron’s ear. The expressions that crossed Ron’s face ranged from awe, to worry, to confusion, and finally to anger and Harry bit his lip to keep from laughing.

“When?” Ron asked.

“Last night.”

“I’m going to kick his arse!”

Hermione looked impressed at Ron’s anger and Harry laughed.

“It’s okay. I didn’t mind.”

“Are you out of your mind?!”

“You said you wouldn’t mind.”

“I don’t, but he shouldn’t have….” Ron broke off and waved his hand at Harry.

Harry smirked. “I just wish he hadn’t stopped when he did.”

Hermione gasped and Ron gaped.

“Harry, I think it’s a good thing that he did stop when he did. Did he do anything else?” Hermione asked

“No, but I wish he had.”

“It’s much too soon,” Hermione said sternly.

“Come off it, Hermione,” Harry scoffed. “I’m seventeen.”

“It doesn’t matter how old you are,” Hermione continued primly. “You two haven’t spent nearly enough time together --”

“I stayed with him for a month this summer and nearly a month last summer. We wrote to each other all last year. And you know….” Harry stared at her significantly.

Hermione pinched her mouth and smoothed her robes over her knees. “Yes, well, I still think it’s a good thing that he stopped.”

“What are you two talking about?” Ron shouted.

Harry sighed. “When….”

“I’ll explain.” Hermione interrupted and whispered in Ron’s ear again. Harry grinned at the expressions that crossed his face. He loved that Ron was so expressive. Hermione sat back and stared at Ron, who was opening and closing his mouth.

“So does that mean….” He waved his hand at Harry. “You know.”

Harry nodded and grinned as Ron shifted uncomfortably.

“Okay. You don’t….” Ron swallowed and shifted again. “I mean that means that….”

“You’re perfectly safe with him, Ron. He’s not going to jump you,” Hermione said, rolling her eyes.

Ron flushed and glared at Hermione. “I know he’s not, Hermione.”

“You said last term that you would be fine with it,” Harry said softly.

“I am” Ron answered. “It’s just…it’s a bit of a shock, you know.”

Harry sighed and leaned back against the sofa. “Tell me about it.”

“So what about, you know, the other thing?” Ron asked.

Harry frowned. “What other thing?”

“That thing that happened tonight,” Ron continued

“Yes, Harry, what about that.” Hermione turned to him speculatively.

“Oh, that,” Harry scowled.

“Yes, that,” Ron repeated. “What’s the big deal?”

“Well,” Harry began, and shrugged. “I don’t know really. I heard last summer that he might not, um, be comfortable with it. And then later, last spring, I was told it might be a problem. And then tonight, well, it didn’t go well. So I think it would be best if we just, not discuss it. Here.”

Hermione frowned. “Why would it be a problem?”

“I think it’s maybe the same reason that Ron isn’t exactly comfortable now.”

“Hey, I’m just fine!” Ron exclaimed.

Harry grinned. “So if I put my hand on your knee….” Harry did just that and laughed when Ron jumped up and moved away.

“That’s not funny. I don’t have a problem with it. It’s just – new information. That’s all.”

Hermione smiled. “Be nice, Harry.”

“I’m sorry, Ron. I won’t tease you anymore. And trust me, you’re perfectly safe with me. I don’t really like boys.”

“Huh? That doesn’t make sense,” Ron frowned.

“Oh, Ron, he just means that he’s only interested in one person.”

Harry frowned. “I don’t know, Hermione. I still like girls. How they look and smell. It’s just that….”

Hermione frowned. “So you don’t think you would be gay if it hadn’t been for what happened when you were a baby?”

“I’m not gay, Hermione,” Harry protested.

Hermione studied him a moment.“Hmm, whatever you say.”

Ron settled into a chair nearby and watched the interaction with fascination.

“Come on. Remember Cho?”

“I remember you had one date with her which you completely screwed up.”

“I kissed her! And what was I supposed to do when she started crying on our date?”

“But you didn’t really like kissing her, did you?”

“It was my first kiss. I didn’t know what to do!”

“Ron didn’t have any trouble with his first kiss.”

“Hey, leave me out of this,” Ron said.

“What first kiss?” Harry turned to Ron. “You never told me.”

Ron blushed and shifted in his chair. “I never got a chance.”

“You could have told me this summer! I was at your house nearly every day for two weeks.”

“It never came up. What was I supposed to do, just burst out ‘Hey, Harry, I kissed….’?” Ron’s blushed intensified and he broke off abruptly.

Harry grinned. “Who?”

Ron mumbled something.

“What?”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake. He kissed me. Last term while you were still in hospital wing.”

Harry glanced between Ron and Hermione. “You two kissed?”

“Yes we did, and it was nice,” Hermione answered primly.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Harry asked softly.

“Ron’s right, it’s not something you can just say.”

“Why not? I tell you stuff all the time.”

Hermione laid a comforting hand on Harry’s arm. “Oh, Harry, don’t be upset. It just kind of happened. We didn’t mean to keep it from you, but you had so much going on, and then, well, it never came up.”

Harry pushed the hurt feelings aside and decided to tease Ron instead. “So how was it?”

Ron flushed, but grinned. Harry laughed and Hermione blushed.

“So are you two, um, dating?” Harry asked carefully.

“Yes,” Hermione answered firmly.

“I don’t know,” Ron said uncertainly.

Ron and Hermione spoke at the same time. Hermione turned to glare at Ron. “What do you mean you don’t know?”

“I just mean, you know --” Ron shrugged.

“No, I don’t know,” Hermione said angrily. “What about what happened this summer?”

Harry sat up straight. “What happened this summer?”

“Nothing!” Ron answered quickly.

“Nothing!?” Hermione surged to her feet. “Well if that’s what you think, Ron Weasley, then rest assured that ‘nothing’ is never going to happen again!”

Hermione disappeared up the staircase to the girl’s dorm. Ron cringed when they heard a door slam. Harry grinned.

“So what did happen this summer?”

Ron grinned. “We kissed, a few more times. And I, um, you know.”

“Did you touch her…?” Harry cupped his hands in front of his chest.

“Yeah,” Ron answered dreamily.

Harry laughed. “You’ll have to work really hard to make up with her, now.”

Ron sobered abruptly. “Yeah, I know.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to pressure you or cause trouble.”

“’s not your fault. I was bound to screw it up sooner or later.”

Harry grinned. “Still, I’ll help, if you want.”

Ron grinned back. “I’ll probably need it. We’d better get to bed.” They stood and Ron stared at Harry awkwardly. “You really don’t…I mean…well, you don’t…?”

Harry slapped Ron on the shoulder. “I don’t, not at all. Really, I don’t like boys.”

Ron nodded uncertainly. “Right. Whatever.”

Harry frowned and walked toward the stairs. Ron stared after him a few minutes before following.

****

The first two weeks of school were so busy that Harry barely noticed that some of his teachers treated him differently. Only Flitwick, the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, who was a complete twit barely better than Lockhart, and Snape treated him exactly the same. It wasn’t until he was turning in his latest assignment three weeks into term that he noticed that McGonagall cringed slightly when he handed her his essay. Harry frowned and returned to his seat, determined to pay closer attention to his other professors. Professor Sprout seemed to ignore him completely, and even Hagrid seemed to avoid looking directly at him and never clapped him on the back as he used to. Harry turned his attention to his fellow students. Save for Malfoy’s familiar sneer and taunting, Harry was met with the familiar blend of awe, respect, and toadying that he had come to expect over the years. He considered writing Remus and asking him if he knew what was going on, but the letters he had received from Remus since term began were very guarded and never referred to anything that had happened between them the night before Harry left. Remus was probably afraid that the letters could be intercepted, and Harry uncomfortably agreed that it was a definite possibility. Harry kept his observations to himself and stewed over them, trying once or twice to catch Hermione’s attention so he could ask her about, but decided to sacrifice his own confusion in favor of helping Ron make up with her. There would be time to discuss this odd development when everything was alright with them again.

To his surprise, Snape agreed to continue tutoring Harry on Occlumency, and to his greater surprise, didn’t demand that he clean his classroom in exchange as he had done last year. Harry found that he had greater control at keeping Snape out, and was relieved to think that perhaps he had been able to keep Dumbledore from sifting through his memories at the start of term, though he wasn’t entirely certain of what he had felt.

After Snape had offered him additional training, and after he had noticed how most of the teaching staff treated him differently than they had in the past, Harry took to watching them when they were all together, namely at dinner. He let his gaze wander past Flitwick, noticing how Hagrid didn’t meet his eyes or wave as he usually did. McGonagall frequently cast her gaze over the Gryffindor table, but she avoided looking directly at Harry. Dumbledore cast disappointed glances at him from time to time, but he also shifted uncomfortably whenever Harry happened to catch his eyes. Harry bit his lip and turned his attention to his plate and missed the frown that crossed Snape’s face as he glanced around at his fellow faculty members.

“Harry, is everything alright?” Hermione asked.

“Yeah, ‘s fine.” Harry smiled.

“Ron and I are going to the library after dinner. Why don’t you come with us?”

Across the table, Ron straightened abruptly and fought the panicked expression from his face. “Sure, Harry. You should come along.”

Harry smiled with slightly more cheer. “Yeah, sure. I have to get started on that Defense essay, anyway.”

Hermione stared at him through dinner and hovered over him while he retrieved his essay from his dorm room. Harry started to ask her what was wrong, but she shushed him and pulled him along to the library.

“Hermione, what is going on?”

“Just a minute.”

She led him through the library, past several empty tables to a secluded, slightly dusty, section of the library with one lone table near the back. Ron was sitting there waiting on them.

“Why are we all the way back here?”

“I wanted to talk to you, and nobody ever comes back here. Ron and I found it last spring when you were in the hospital.”

Judging from the blush on Hermione’s cheeks, and the grin on Ron’s face, Harry could well imagine how they had found it. Harry rolled his eyes and sat beside Ron. To his surprise, Hermione sat on his other side. Harry watched as Hermione swished her wand and created a sound proof bubble around their table.

“I hardly think that was necessary.”

“We do,” Ron said.

“Harry, we couldn’t help but notice that you seem a bit upset,” Hermione began. “I know that you and Remus have been writing this term. Has he said something that’s upset you?”

“No! Of course not.” Harry fiddled with his quill, paying no mind to the splatters of ink he created across his parchment. “Remus is fine. Nothing is wrong.”

“Harry, look, we may have been a bit distracted, lately, but we haven’t done anything to upset you, have we?” Ron asked.

“No, you guys are fine. I’m glad you’re back together.” Harry grinned at Ron’s wide smile. “It’s nothing.”

“Well, obviously it’s something.”

Harry glanced between his two friends, his heart warming at the concern he saw clearly on their faces.

“It’s just that….” Harry sighed. “Have you noticed if the professors have been – different – toward me, this semester?”

Hermione frowned. “What do you mean?”

Harry shrugged. “I mean, well, Snape and Flitwick treat me like they always have. But McGonagall, she seems – disappointed – in me. And Sprout ignores me. And even Hagrid’s treating me different.”

“Different how?” Ron asked.

Harry shrugged. “I don’t know. He won’t look me in the eye anymore. And he never, well, he never asks how I am. He’ll talk to me, like during class, but he hasn’t asked me to tea or how I am or anything like he used to.”

“Now that you mention it, McGonagall has been a little short with you,” Hermione said softly.

“I mean, I know that Sprout never really picked on me, or singled me out or anything, but now she won’t even acknowledge I’m in the room.” Harry slumped into his chair.

Ron frowned. “Hagrid’s been really busy in class, you know. I can’t believe that he’d ignore you.”

Harry shrugged and pulled his book from his bag only to have it snatched out of his hand by Hermione. She removed the silencing spell and got to her feet. “Come on. We’ll go talk to Hagrid.”

“Hermione, I don’t think --” Harry began.

“No, she’s right,” Ron interrupted as he pulled Harry to his feet. “If there’s a reason everyone’s treating you differently, then Hagrid will tell us. Come on.”

Harry followed them to the entrance hall, made an attempt to dart away with the excuse of finishing homework, only to have them grab his arms and march him down to Hagrid’s hut. He bit his lip as he listened to Fang bark and growl when Ron banged on Hagrid’s door.

“Settle down, Fang. ‘old on just a minute.”

Harry stepped back from the door, but Hermione glared at him and pulled him forward again.

“Ron and Hermione. And ‘Arry. What are yeh doin’ here?”

“We thought we’d come for a visit, Hagrid. We haven’t been down since school started.” Hermione looked at him expectantly. “Can we come in?”

“Oh, sure, sure.” Hagrid smiled and stepped back, pushing Fang down when he tried to jump toward them.

“Why don’t yeh have a sit down at the table, an’ I’ll make us some tea.”

“Thanks, Hagrid,” Ron replied, managing to sound a bit enthusiastic at the thought of tea.

Harry hovered uncertainly by the table until Ron shoved him down into a chair. Hagrid fussed over the tea for an inordinately long time before finally sitting down across from them.

“So, ‘ows everythin’goin’?”

“Everything’s fine, Hagrid. Did you have a good summer?” Hermione asked.

“Oh, sure, sure. Visited Grawp in Wales. He’s settled in the mountain’s there with a few other giants. And how was yer summer?” Hagrid asked with a small smile.

“Fine,” Hermione answered before she elbowed Harry in the side.

“Yeah, it was good. I finally got to move out of the Dursley’s.” Harry grinned. But the grin faded quickly when Hagrid just nodded and didn’t say anything.

“How’re classes going?” Ron asked.

Hagrid smiled. “Oh, fine, fine. Got some interestin’ creatures planned for you seventh years.”

“Like what, Hagrid?” Harry asked softly.

The smile fell from Hagrid’s face and Harry’s heart sank.

“Oh, yeh know. It’ll be a surprise.”

“Like werewolves?” Hermione asked.

Hagrid’s hand jerked and tea sloshed over the table.

“Course, not. That’s more, er, yeh know, Defense Against the Dark Arts than Care o’ Magical Creatures.”

Harry nodded and got to his feet. “I’ll see you guys back at the common room.”

Ron stood and blocked his path, holding him still when Harry would have brushed past him.

“Hagrid, do you have a problem with Harry?” Hermione asked.

“No. C-course not. Why would I have a problem with ‘Arry?”

“Then why have you been ignoring him?” Hermione asked sternly. “Why haven’t you asked him what he did after he left the Dursley’s? Why haven’t you asked how he is, or how his summer was, or how his classes are going? You haven’t said two kind words to Harry since we’ve been here, and it’s just not like you.”

“T-that’s just not true,” Hagrid protested weakly.

“It is true, Hagrid.” Ron said, but kept his gaze on Harry’s down turned face. “What have you heard?”

“I ‘aven’t heard anythin’.”

“Yes, you have Hagrid,” Hermione said. “And some of the other teacher’s are treating Harry badly too. If you know something, then we have a right to know.”

“Don’t know what yeh’re talking about.”

“It’s about me and Remus. Dumbledore’s not happy about it and neither are you.” Harry turned to look at Hagrid who now had a red flush across his forehead. “Dumbledore knows about the soul mate thing that’s bound me and Remus together. He knows we spent part of the summer together, and he’s not happy and he’s obviously told people.”

“Now, Harry, yeh can’t be thinkin’ that I….”

“What else am I supposed to think, Hagrid? You’ve never acted this way before, even when I was partially possessed by Voldemort. And now, all of a sudden, just because I’m in love with Remus, you can’t be my friend anymore?” Harry stared for a moment, his mouth open, lost in thought. “I can’t….I’ll see you guys back in the Common Room.”

Harry rushed from the cottage and leaned against the side, blinking the tears out of his eyes, unconsciously listening to what was said inside.

“Is that what it is Hagrid?” Ron’s voice was angry.

“Well, now, yeh gotta admit, it’s a bit strange, in’t? ‘Arry bein’ gay an’all?”

“I’m surprised at you, Hagrid. You of all people. Do you have any idea what you mean to Harry?” Hermione scolded.

“Not to mention the fact that you’re half giant, but no one around here seems to care.” Ron’s voice was as cold as Harry had ever heard it. With a start Harry realized he was eavesdropping and walked up to the castle and back to the library. The table at the back was still empty, and Harry spent the rest of the evening there working on his homework.

He barely made it back to the Common Room in time to make curfew. Ron and Hermione were sitting at a table in the corner, and waved him over as soon as he entered. Harry dropped his bag to the floor with a soft thump.

“He admitted it. Dumbledore let it slip to him,” Ron said.

“Actually, what he said was that he overheard Dumbledore telling McGonagall about you and Remus,” Hermione corrected softly. “You were right about Dumbledore; he’s really not happy about it. But I’m fairly certain that Dumbledore had to know that Hagrid was there.”

“Yeah, it’s not like Hagrid is easy to miss,” Ron said.

Harry swallowed. “So he told McGonagall. Did he tell the entire staff?”

“Probably not, but I wouldn’t put it past him.” Hermione patted his arm soothingly. “Don’t worry about it.”

“How can I not worry? What’s the big deal anyway?” Harry propped his chin in his hand.

Ron twiddled his quill between his fingers. “Well, gay people aren’t that common in the wizarding world. I mean, most people don’t care, but well, some of the older people may not be comfortable with it. And it is you, Harry.”

Harry frowned. “What about me?”

Hermione leaned forward. “You’re Harry Potter.”

“I know who I am!” Harry said exasperatingly.

Hermione patted his arm again. “No, you don’t get it. You’re supposed to be an example to everyone else. People can’t choose who they love. Some people don’t seem to understand that being gay isn’t a choice. Especially older people like Dumbledore and McGonagall. And Hagrid sets great store by Dumbledore. Chances are if he’s upset about something and thinks it’s wrong, Hagrid will, too.”

Harry thumped his head onto the table. “I’m. Not. Gay.”

“But, Harry, you did say that you were in love with Remus,” Ron said nervously.

Ron flinched at the glare Harry gave him.

Hermione frowned. “Are you sure about that?”

Harry turned to face Hermione so fast his neck popped. “What?”

Hermione glanced around. “I mean, you know, well. You were preoccupied an awful lot fifth and sixth year. And Cho aside, have you ever really been interested in a girl?”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Harry growled. “You said it yourself, I was a little busy killing off Voldemort. I didn’t have a lot of time for anything else.”

“Well, Harry, you don’t seem to get along well with girls.” Hermione hurried on when he opened his mouth. “Romantically speaking. I mean, Ginny had a crush on you for years and you did react oddly to it. And you weren’t exactly comfortable with Cho.”

“Because I’d never had a girlfriend before.”

“Come to think, you did react weird to Ginny’s crush,” Ron said.

“What?” Harry snapped.

Ron shrugged. “Really, you seemed uncomfortable because she had a crush on you, but Colin and Dennis have a crush on you, too, and you seem okay with it.”

“I’m not okay with it,” Harry said shortly. “And they don’t have a crush on me.”

Hermione giggled. “Oh, Harry, of course they do.”

“It’s hero worship, not a crush.”

“It’s basically the same thing, Harry,” Hermione said primly.

Ron snorted. “I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t wank in the showers to thoughts of you.”

“Ron!” Hermione blushed and looked at Ron from under her lashes.

“That’s not funny,” Harry said through clenched teeth.

The smile faded from Ron’s face. “Look, aside from Hermione, you really don’t have anything to do with girls. And she’s always been your friend so you didn’t have to worry about her getting a crush on you or anything. It just seems kind of obvious, but it’s no big deal, I told you.”

“Then why were you so upset?” Hermione asked.

“I was startled. I’m over it. It doesn’t matter,” Ron said defensively.

“Well it shouldn’t, because I’m not gay.” Harry scowled.

Ron shrugged. “Fine, whatever. Did you finish your defense essay?”

Harry stared at Ron. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Harry disappeared up the stairs and behind his bed curtains and ignored every attempt that Ron made to talk to him until breakfast the next morning.

****

After their visit to Hagrid, Harry, Ron and Hermione, through unspoken agreement, took turns testing their professors regarding how comfortable they were with Harry. As Harry suspected, the teachers who felt most uncomfortable teaching him were McGonagall, Sprout, and Hagrid. It was possible that the others simply didn’t know, but they all three agreed, after another late night discussion, that it didn’t seem possible. The fact that none of the students treated Harry differently gave him hope that things weren’t be as bad as he had feared.

Oddly enough, of all of his teachers, Snape seemed to be the most tolerant of him. He continued to berate Harry in front of the entire class, but not quite as often, and with less loss of house points. Their private lessons had progressed from Occlumency and Legilmens, which Harry had learned inadvertently from their lessons and a handy book he had found in Remus’ library. Snape was now teaching him curses that, while not technically dark, would certainly never appear on any Hogwarts syllabus. Harry cringed when he realized that his favorite part of the week was the hour or two he found himself fending off curses in Snape’s office.

But the one bright spot that was Snape’s private tutoring failed to make the rest of Harry’s classes anything more than tolerable. He still did well, and Defense Against the Dark Arts would have been enjoyable if not for the hack that had been hired for the job. But the near alienation from his Head of House hurt more than Harry was willing to admit. McGonagall had never given him special privileges, nor had she singled him out for praise or ridicule. But when she assigned him an extra essay when he couldn’t quite transform his desk into a pig, it was almost more than he could take. He wanted to talk to Remus and curl into his arms and be told that everything would be alright, even though he knew it would be a lie. He would have settled for a letter, but fear of his letters being intercepted kept him from writing anything down. So instead Harry began devoting most of his time to homework and watching Ron and Hermione’s developing relationship.

“Harry, have you finished your essay for Professor Sprout’s class?”

Harry blinked and looked up. Neville sat on the other side of the table in the Common Room. Ron and Hermione were sitting as close as possible, watching the interchange with interest. Harry scowled.

“I’m almost finished. I have about two more inches to go. Why?”

Neville shrugged. “I was wondering if you’d look over mine for me.”

Harry’s eyes narrowed. “You’re asking me for help in Herbology?”

Neville flushed. “It’s not so much the subject. I just wanted to know if you’d look it over and make sure I got everything right.”

“Hermione’s sitting right here. Why don’t you ask her to check your spelling?”

Neville glanced at Hermione who smiled encouragingly at him. “Well, I, you know, I would, but Hermione is so busy with her own schoolwork, and --”

“What are you doing, Neville?” Harry asked softly.

Beside him, Ron cringed and leaned into Hermione.

“N-nothing, Harry. I just wanted your help.”

“You’ve never asked for my help with schoolwork. Especially not when Hermione is sitting right beside you.” Harry emphasized. “What’s going on?”

“Look, Harry, I don’t mean…. It’s just that I’ve noticed that some of the professors have been treating you different.” Neville shot another glance at Ron and Hermione. Harry followed his gaze and frowned at them. Hermione shrugged, and Ron smiled awkwardly. “I don’t know what it’s about, but I just wanted to show you, somehow, that I didn’t care about what they think.”

Harry was still staring at Ron.

“Ron….” Harry began, a warning ringing in his voice.

“I didn’t say anything. I swear,” Ron protested quickly.

“Then why do you look guilty?”

“I didn’t say anything to Neville,” Ron said quickly.

“He didn’t. I just noticed….” Neville began but stopped when Hermione touched his arm gently.

“Who did you say something to?” Harry asked Ron.

“I might have let something slip to Fred. And George. But not much, really. Just that some of the teachers were treating you kind of bad and asking if maybe they had some, um, suggestions.”

“What kind of ‘suggestions’?” Hermione asked suspiciously.

Harry smiled bitterly. “What else did you tell them?”

“I-I just, they asked, you know, why,” Ron stammered. “And I told them I wasn’t sure, but then, and I may have mentioned, you know who.”

“You-Know-Who?” Neville asked nervously.

Hermione patted his hand again. “Not You-Know-Who. Someone else.”

Ron hurried on. “They don’t care, Harry. They really don’t. They’re kind of, well, impressed. They, um, you know, might…well, you know, too.”

“Ron….” Harry sighed.

“Harry, really, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, but when McGonagall….”

“Ron,” Hermione warned.

“I know,” Ron began heatedly. “But I got so mad. And then I thought of all the pranks Fred and George got up to, and I thought maybe we could do something. You know, just to show them.”

Hermione frowned. “Whatever you’re planning, just stop it.”

“Come on, Hermione,” Ron said cajolingly. “Are we really just going to sit by and let them treat Harry this way?”

Hermione shook her head. “You’re not going to pull a prank in class. Not for any reason.”

“Hermione’s right, Ron. You’re not doing anything,” Harry said softly.

“Come on, Harry,” Ron smiled. “It won’t hurt anyone. And if we do it right they’ll never have to know it was us. Fred and George got away with stuff all the time.”

“Forget it, Ron. You’re a prefect. And this is my problem.” Harry smiled bitterly at his friends. “It’s no big deal. I appreciate the thought, but just let it go.”

“Harry, it’s not just your problem.” Hermione leaned across Ron, speaking to Harry earnestly. “We want to help, but there are better ways then setting off dungbombs in the middle of class.”

“I wasn’t planning on setting off dungbombs, but that’s an idea, Hermione.” Ron leaned into Hermione’s side and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Harry turned to Neville and rolled his eyes.

“Hush, Ron. Harry, listen, we’ll do anything we can, short of pranking class.” Hermione turned to Neville. “Neville, what have you heard?”

Neville looked startled at the question. “About what?”

“About Harry and why the teachers are treating him the way they are?”

Neville thought for a moment. “Not much really. I mean, I notice stuff in class, but…well, some people have been saying that he’s channeling You-Know-Who and that’s why they’re keeping their distance.” Neville’s face screwed up in concentration. “But that’s not true. I mean, some of the professors treat Harry just like they always have. And some people are saying that he’s dangerous and the professors know it but they have to keep him in school.” Neville shrugged. “None of it really makes sense.”

“But they are talking about me,” Harry asked quietly.

“Yeah,” Neville said. “I’m sorry, Harry. What’s going on?”

Harry sighed and exchanged glances with Ron and Hermione. They shrugged and he scowled. “I can’t talk about it now. But later, if you’re still up, I’ll tell you.”

Neville stared for a moment then nodded. “It’s nothing dangerous, is it, Harry?”

“Of course, not,” Hermione scolded. “It’s just – delicate.”

Neville looked relieved. “Oh. Okay. Do you mind if I stay here and work on my Defense essay?” Neville looked hopefully at Hermione.

“Of course, not, Neville. Do you need some help?”

Ron scowled and shifted closer to Hermione. Harry chuckled and turned back to his Herbology essay. The common room slowly emptied around them. Harry finished his Herbology essay and began polishing his Transfiguration essay. Hermione cleared her throat delicately.

“Harry, everyone’s gone.”

Harry glanced around. The common room was empty and Neville looked at him expectantly. Harry opened his mouth and closed it again. He didn’t know where to start. He looked hopefully at Hermione who rolled her eyes and leaned toward Neville. Harry slouched down into his chair and watched the emotions cross Neville’s face. When Hermione had finished explaining, only the top of Harry’s head and his eyes appeared above the table. Ron was biting his lip and Harry could see the blend of humor and concern that filled his eyes.

Neville frowned. “Is that all?”

Harry nodded and pushed himself up in his seat.

“That doesn’t make sense.” Neville continued hurriedly at Harry’s frown. “I mean, I don’t get why they would care if you were….” Neville broke off and waved his hand through the air, blushing slightly, before shrugging. “It’s not a big deal.”

Harry winced when Ron hit his arm. “You see, Harry. It’s just old people that have a problem with it.”

Neville frowned. “That’s not it, though. I mean, Flitwick is older than Sprout, and he doesn’t care. And Hooch doesn’t seem to mind.”

“But maybe they don’t know, Neville.” Harry sat up and leaned forward. “Maybe it is a big deal and we just don’t know why.”

Hermione frowned. “I’ll have to check some books, but I think Neville’s right.”

Harry glanced at Neville, who was looking at Hermione with a bit of awe. “You don’t mind, do you, Neville?”

Neville started and turned to Harry. “No. Should I? You’re not going to try anything to me, are you?”

Harry grinned. “You’re safe with me, Neville. I’m not really gay.”

Neville frowned. “If you say so.” Harry opened his mouth, but closed it again when Neville continued. “Thank you for telling me. It really doesn’t matter to me, and I’ll keep quiet. If you need any help with anything just let me know.”

Harry smiled.

“Thank you, Neville,” Hermione said.

Ron frowned and put his arm around Hermione again. “Yeah, thanks, Neville.”

Harry grinned and began gathering his things. He said goodnight and left his friends, frowning at each other, in the common room. He didn’t think it would make any difference in class, but Harry felt better that Neville knew and didn’t care that he was bonded with Remus. He slept peacefully that night for the first time in weeks.


	12. Chapter Twelve

The comfort that came from Neville knowing and not caring carried Harry through his classes the next morning until Care of Magical Creatures that afternoon. He hovered at the back of the class and shook his head as Neville raised questioning eyebrows at him. Neville frowned and stood resolutely beside Harry as the rest of the class pressed forward to see what kind of creature Hagrid had today. Hermione glared at Neville and Harry and grabbed Ron’s arm, pressing forward to the front of the class. Harry took notes as best he could and watched as the other members of the class examined the clabbert that Hagrid had provided.

“Neville, you ought to get closer so you can see it clearly.”

“I’m alright, Harry,” Neville grinned and resolutely stuck by Harry’s side.

“Don’t worry about me,” Harry said, gesturing toward the front of the class. “ Just go on up with Ron and --”

“What are yeh boys talkin’ ‘bout back there?” Hagrid interrupted with a frown. “Yeh should be payin’ attention to class. Neville, come on up so yeh can see better.”

Harry glanced at Neville and nodded his head toward Ron and Hermione. Neville grimaced and went to stand beside Ron and Hermione. Hagrid turned to the rest of the class and continued with his lecture on clabberts. Harry wrote notes half-heartedly. As soon as class was over he headed back to the castle, not waiting for Ron, Hermione and Neville. Draco Malfoy caught up with him halfway up the lawn.

“Looks like you’re not that big oaf’s favorite anymore, Potter,” Malfoy sneered.

“Just leave it, Malfoy,” Harry mumbled at him and kept walking.

“But then you’re not Dumbledore’s or McGonagall’s favorite anymore either,” Malfoy continued snidely.

Harry’s hands clenched into fists. “I said to drop it, Malfoy.”

“What’d you do to piss them off?”

“Piss off yourself, Malfoy.”

Malfoy grabbed Harry’s sleeve, urging him to stop. “Look, Potter, I don’t like you. But you did get rid of the Dark Lord and something weird is going on. So what is it?”

Harry shook Malfoy’s hand off his arm. “It’s none of your business, Malfoy.”

Malfoy grabbed him again. “Look, Potter…”

Harry pulled his wand and pointed it at Malfoy.

“What is going on here?” Professor Sprout walked down the front steps of the castle and stopped in front of Malfoy and Harry. “Dueling is not allowed, Mr. Potter. Detention with Mr. Filch tonight and fifteen points from Gryffindor. Now go to class.”

Harry grimaced, put his wand away, left Malfoy staring after him and walked up the stairs to Defense Against the Dark Arts. Ron and Hermione caught up with him just outside the classroom door.

“What did Malfoy want?” Hermione asked.

“Why’d she give you detention? Weren’t points enough?” Ron sidled up to his other side.

Harry shrugged and entered the classroom. Ron and Hermione sat on either side of him, something they hadn’t done since they made up two weeks ago.

“You’re not actually going to report for detention are you?” Ron asked.

“Yes, I am,” Harry answered shortly and searched his bag for his essay.

“You shouldn’t,” Hermione said.

Ron and Harry turned to Hermione in surprise.

“I’m serious,” Hermione continued. “You didn’t do anything to warrant detention. I think you ought to appeal it.”

“What?” Ron asked.

“Students are allowed to appeal punishments they think are unfair,” Hermione explained. “Ron and I both think that you didn’t do anything to deserve detention, and based on the look on Malfoy’s face he agreed.”

“I’m not going to appeal. It doesn’t matter.”

“Harry -- ” Hermione began.

“Just drop it,” Harry shouted and cringed as everyone turned to him. “It doesn’t matter,” he finished in a whisper.

Ron and Hermione sat back and exchanged a look over Harry’s head as Professor Fillion called the class to order.

****   
Harry grew increasingly withdrawn the weeks leading up to Halloween. He spent each evening in the Common Room or the library. He smiled as Ron worried about the first Gryffindor Quidditch match of the season against Ravenclaw and learned to recognize the signs when Ron and Hermione wanted to be alone. The other Gryffindors rallied around him and tried to raise his spirits, and even Malfoy frowned when instead of answering his taunts with insults of his own, Harry only shrugged and walked away. The first Hogsmeade weekend fell the weekend between Gryffindor’s victory over Ravenclaw and Halloween. Harry tried to beg off, but Hermione and Ron grasped his arm and pulled him along with them to the village. To Harry’s surprise, they lead him almost immediately to the Shrieking Shack. Hermione smiled and pushed him inside. Ron grinned and closed the door behind them. Harry frowned.

“Harry?”

Harry started and turned. Remus stood in the doorway to the dusty living room. Harry took one step toward him, and another, uncertain if the man in the doorway was only in his imagination, until he was held against a warm chest.

“What are you doing here?” Harry mumbled into Remus’ neck.

“I received three letters of concern from people at the school. What else could I do?”

Harry pulled back to look in Remus’ face. “Three?”

Remus nodded and guided Harry into the living room and onto the worn sofa. “One from Ron and Hermione, one from Neville, and one from Severus.”

“Snape?” Harry shook his head and leaned into Remus’ side. “What did they say?”

“Not much.” Remus wrapped an arm around Harry. “Mostly that you were depressed and in denial and that someone, me obviously, needed to have a serious chat with you. So what’s going on?”

Harry shrugged; Remus tightened his arm around Harry.

“I didn’t come all this way just to sit here in silence.” Remus paused. “Although I don’t really have a problem with it. But something’s been bothering you, I could tell even though you waxed rapturous in your letters. What’s wrong?”

Harry shrugged again and tried to pull out of Remus’ embrace, but Remus held him tightly to him.

“Harry….” Remus began and broke off with a sigh. He pulled Harry’s head to his shoulder and began to run his fingers through Harry’s hair.

Harry turned his face into Remus’ neck and inhaled deeply, relishing the scent that was uniquely Remus. He pulled away slightly and before he knew it, he was telling Remus everything: The conversation he had had with Dumbledore after the feast; McGonagall’s additional assignments; Sprout’s detention; the confrontation with Malfoy; Hagrid’s avoidance, which stung most of all. Remus listened intently, never interrupting, though anger flared in his eyes from time to time.

Harry eventually fell silent and gazed at Remus from beneath his fringe. Remus pulled him into his side again and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“Have your friends noticed your treatment?”

“Yes,” Harry answered softly.

“What do they say?”

Harry sighed. “Ron thinks I should start pranking during class. Hermione thinks I should appeal some of the punishments.”

Remus chuckled. “That sounds like Ron and Hermione. Have you talked to your professors?”

“I tried talking to Hagrid --” Harry paused and Remus pulled him closer at the pain he heard in his voice. “But he would barely look at me, let alone tell me what was going on. He talked to Ron and Hermione after I left, though.”

“What about McGonagall or Sprout?”

Harry’s mouth twisted in a bitter smile. “I doubt they’d stay in the same room with me long enough for me to get two words out.” Harry shrugged. “I don’t much care anymore.”

Remus pushed him away and sat up. “Well you should. And Ron and Hermione are right. You should appeal punishments that are extreme. And maybe you should start acting up a bit. You shouldn’t be afraid to draw attention to yourself. Make them notice you.” Remus considered Harry carefully. “Unless you’re trying to keep this a secret?”

Harry flushed and looked away.

Remus smiled sadly. “I see.”

Harry shook his head and looked back to Remus. “I don’t think you do. It’s just…it’s weird. And I don’t know if….I just… I’m not gay.”

Remus chuckled. “I wasn’t either, Harry.”

Harry frowned. “But then why….”

“Because we’re ‘soul mates.’” Remus shook his head and looked away. “I hate that phrase.” He turned back to Harry. “There’s something inside of us that makes us right for each other. Something compels us to be together. If we had never met, we would probably never give another man a second look.” Remus smiled and petted Harry’s hair. “But we are sexually attracted to each other. There’s nothing wrong with that, Harry.”

Harry stood and walked away. “I just don’t want everyone pointing and whispering about me. Not about this. They already talk about me all the time. I’m tired of being different.”

“You’ll always be different, Harry. You just need to get over it.” Remus held up a hand as Harry turned to him angrily and continued. “I know that sounds harsh, and maybe it is. You’ve been different all your life, from the moment I first held you. And strange things just keep happening to you. That’s not going to change. There are hundreds of people who wish they were special. You are special and you need to come to grips with that fact. I’m not suggesting that you use your… status, for lack of a better word, to get what you think you deserve, or to try and get special privileges. But you are special. The entire wizarding world knows this. It’s time you came to grips with it.”

Harry stared at Remus a few minutes before moving to sit beside him again.

“So what should I do?” Harry asked softly.

“About what?”

“About McGonagall and Sprout?”

Remus smiled. “I think you should call attention to yourself in class. You might be punished, but at least they’d have to acknowledge you.” Remus looked sternly at Harry. “But don’t do anything too extreme. Be as sneaky as you can and try and get away with it. Get Ron and Hermione to help you.”

Harry grinned. “Ron will enjoy that.”

“And take Hermione’s advice as well. If they give you outrageous punishments for small offences, appeal them. Do you know how?”

Harry shook his head. “No, but I’m sure Hermione does.”

Remus pulled Harry against him. “Do you feel better now?”

Harry hummed and nestled his head beneath Remus’ chin.

“If they give you anymore problems, go ahead and owl me.” Remus grinned. “I probably won’t come charging to your rescue, but I can tell you about some of the Marurader’s pranks. And if they try and intercept our letters, let them.”

Harry smiled briefly. “Do you think, maybe, that I should tell other people about us?”

“I don’t know. Do you?”

“Neville took it pretty well.” Harry shrugged. “Hermione said that most people our age probably wouldn’t care, but older people might. She also said there might be something else bothering them.”

“Like what?” Remus frowned.

“I don’t know. She said she was going to check the library.” Harry leaned his head back against Remus’ shoulder and looked up at him. “Do you know what she’s talking about?”

Remus shook his head. “I can’t imagine what it could be. I think James would have said something when he did his research after you were born.” He shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Doesn’t matter, though, does it?” Harry asked drowsily.

Remus settled deeper into the sofa, pulling Harry with him. “No, it doesn’t.”

Harry wasn’t sure how long he slept, but when he woke, he was wrapped in Remus’ arm, laying half over him. Remus had shifted to lie on the sofa and was sleeping as well. Harry took the opportunity to study Remus’ face and frowned at what he saw. His face was thinner than it had been, frown lines bracketed his mouth and dark circles ringed his eyes. Harry ran a hand down Remus’ side and grimaced as he felt Remus’ ribs through his robe and jumper.

“What are you doing?”

Harry glanced up at Remus’ sleepy question. “I thought I told you to eat.”

Remus pushed Harry’s hands away and sat up, moving to sit near Harry’s feet. “I have been.” Remus rubbed his hands over his face. “Last full moon was a hard one.”

“The full moon was last week, Remus,” Harry gently reminded.

“Sometimes they’re harder to get over.” Remus turned to Harry. “You haven’t been sleeping well, have you?”

Harry shrugged and sat up. “You obviously haven’t been, either.”

Remus chuckled. “Touché.” He frowned at his watch. “It’s getting late. You should find Ron and Hermione.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Harry answered, but he didn’t move. “I’m glad you were here. I-I didn’t realize how much I missed you. Until I saw you.”

“I know.” Remus smiled.

“Can you come back in a few weeks? I could sneak out and meet you.”

“Harry, I don’t want you to sneak out of the castle. Not to meet me.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Harry sighed and glanced around the room. “You could come up for the next Hogsmeade weekend,” he said hopefully.

Remus laughed and stood, pulling Harry to his feet. “I’ll try. Just send me the date and I’ll let you know.”

Harry grinned. “I will.” Harry stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Remus’ shoulders. “I missed you.”

Remus’ arms wrapped around Harry’s waist. “I know.” Remus turned his head to press a kiss to Harry’s temple at the same moment that Harry turned to kiss Remus’ cheek. Their lips met for the first time. Both froze, staring at each other in confusion. Remus cupped his hands around Harry’s face nibbling at his lips. Harry clutched handfuls of Remus’ robe, pressing their bodies together, and the kiss exploded. They nibbled on each other’s lips until Remus’ tongue pushed its way inside Harry’s mouth. Harry gasped into Remus’ mouth as Remus lowered an arm to wrap around Harry’s hips, bringing their bodies into alignment from chest to knee. Harry whimpered at the sensation. Remus pulled away from the kiss and Harry whimpered again at the loss. Remus grinned and leaned in to kiss Harry again. Remus’ tongue pushed between Harry’s lips and wrapped around his, coaxing it to follow back to Remus’ mouth. Harry clutched at Remus’ shoulders and rocked his hips forward as Remus sucked his tongue deeper into his mouth. Remus growled and released Harry’s mouth to press biting kisses along his jaw and down his throat. He opened his mouth, but pulled away before he could sink his teeth fully into Harry’s throat.

Harry stood panting in the circle of Remus’ arms. “Don’t stop.”

Remus leaned his forehead against Harry’s. “We can’t.”

“Yes we can,” Harry whined. “I want you to.”

“I know.” Remus smiled.

“It faded. Put it back.” Harry turned his head slightly and arched against Remus.

Remus growled again. “No. Not here. Not now.” He leaned down and kissed Harry’s mouth hard before stepping back and pulling Harry’s arms away.

“Remus….”

Remus shook his head. “Not here. We don’t have time.”

Harry stepped forward. “At least mark me again. I want to feel it.”

Remus’ grin turned feral. “No.”

“Don’t you want--?” Harry began.

“Yes,” Remus hissed. “I want you. I want to mark you, but I don’t want to stop there. I want everything. But not now and not here. There isn’t time.” He cupped Harry’s cheek. “There’ll be time later.” Harry turned his head and kissed Remus’ fingers.

Remus dropped his hand. “Go find Ron and Hermione.”

“You’ll come back for the next Hogsmeade weekend?” Harry asked timidly from the door to the hallway.

“I’ll try.” Remus smiled. “Owl if you need any prank suggestions.’

Harry smiled shyly. “I will. I’m glad you were here.”

“So am I.”

Harry waved and left to meet Ron and Hermione. They were walking toward the Shack when Harry shut the door behind him. Harry waved and jumped down the steps to meet them. Ron grinned at his smile; Hermione frowned.

“You were gone an awful long time,” Hermione scolded. “It’s time to head back.”

“So what’d you do?” Ron asked.

Harry blushed and Ron laughed. Harry pushed him away. “We talked.” Hermione opened her mouth, but stopped when Harry put his hand on her arm. “He said you guys were right. He thinks I should act up in class and make them pay attention to me. He also said that I should appeal outrageous punishments.”

Hermione crossed her arms. “I can’t believe that he wants you to act up in class. And what else happened, Harry?”

Harry’s blush intensified and Ron hooted with laughter. “Nothing.”

“You’d be more believable if you didn’t look like you’d just been snogged silly,” Ron gasped.

Harry smoothed his hair nervously.

“Do you really think that’s going to make a difference?” Hermione stepped forward and straightened his collar, smoothing the wrinkles from the shoulders of his robe. “That’s a bit better. Except that your mouth is swollen. Honestly, Harry, I expected Remus to have better sense than to touch you when you have to go to dinner in the same room as Dumbledore.”

Harry frowned and brushed Hermione’s hands away. “Nothing happened.”

“Yeah, right,” Ron grinned.

“Shut up,” Harry mumbled and began walking toward Hogwarts.

Ron sidled up next to him. “So, was it better than when you kissed Cho?”

Harry grinned. Ron snorted and elbowed him in the side.

“If you boys would stop acting so childish, we could try and decide what we should do before we get back to the castle.” Hermione stepped in front of them and turned to faced them, her fists propped on her hips.

“Don’t worry, Hermione.” Harry took her arm and turned her toward the castle. “I know exactly what I’m going to do. And if it doesn’t work, then we can come up with something else.”


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The news spreads and the students rally around Harry.

Harry grinned at his friends as they entered Transfiguration Tuesday afternoon. Hermione and Ron had begged him all weekend to tell them what he had planned. Each time they had asked, Harry would smile and turn to another homework assignment. Eventually they had stopped asking. The other Gryffindors had picked up on the excitement and kept casting glances at Harry as they entered. They all knew that Harry had been treated differently by their Head of House, but only Neville knew the reason. Nevertheless, they sensed instinctively that today Harry would react differently than he had all term.

McGonagall sat at her desk shuffling through the scrolls that the previous class had handed in. As soon as she stood, her eyes raking over the class, the whispers and shuffling subsided.

“Ms. Granger, collect the essays please.” Hermione stood and began collecting essays; McGonagall continued. “As you know, conjuring will be an important aspect of your Transfiguration NEWT next spring. I must admit that I have been quite disappointed in your efforts thus far. To that end, we will go over the basic theory of conjuring again. Quills and parchment out, please. I expect you to take better notes, this time.”

McGonagall began lecturing and Harry began taking notes. McGonagall wandered up and down the aisles, looking over student’s shoulders as they took notes. Predictably, she paused behind Harry for several minutes. He resisted the urge to begin writing insults on his notes and eventually she moved away. Harry glanced at Ron and rolled his eyes; Ron grinned.

Harry was disappointed when class ended and he hadn’t had an opportunity to enact his plan. He followed Ron and Hermione to dinner and sat beside Neville.

Ron leaned across the table as soon as the food appeared. “Okay, give. What were you going to do?”

To his surprise, Seamus and Dean leaned in as well. Harry shrugged. “Nothing really. I was just going to ask and answer questions during class. Just make her be civil to me.”

“Why’s she been treating you so bad anyway?” Dean asked as he sat beside Harry.

Harry glanced at Hermione and Ron. Neville leaned forward. “You ought to tell them, Harry. They won’t care.”

Harry looked at Neville. Something in Neville’s expression convinced Harry that he was right. He glanced at Ron and Hermione again before turning to Dean and Seamus.

“She’s uncomfortable with the fact that I live with Remus.”

Seamus frowned.

Dean laughed, “Did she expect you to live with the Dursleys the rest of your life?”

Seamus leaned forward. “Wait a minute. Do you mean live live with him? As in….” He broke off and cleared his throat significantly.

Harry sighed, “Not yet. But yeah.”

“So you’re… gay,” Dean said.

Harry shrugged. “I guess. Do you guys have a problem with it?”

Dean shrugged and turned back to his dinner. “Doesn’t matter to me; my uncle’s gay. I always thought he was cool.” Dean grinned and turned to Harry. “But just so you know, I don’t swing that direction.”

Harry, Neville and Ron laughed. “You’re safe with me.”

Hermione was watching Seamus. “Seamus, are you okay?”

Seamus looked up, startled when he realized that everyone was looking at him. He shrugged. “I guess.” He turned to Harry. “It’s not like you had a choice, is it?”

Harry smiled. “No, I didn’t. Are you sure you’re okay.”

Seamus shrugged and looked away. “Doesn’t matter to me.”

Neville elbowed Harry gently. “You see,” he whispered, “I told you it didn’t matter.”

Harry smiled. “I know, Neville. Thanks.”

****

Term began to improve significantly after that for Harry. It seemed the whole of Gryffindor knew about Harry and Remus the next day, and it was only a few days more before the whole school knew. To his surprise, no one seemed to care, and no one taunted him, though he did receive a few significant glances from Draco Malfoy, of all people, that made his skin crawl.

Harry grinned as he entered Snape’s office. He set his bag beside his chair and pulled his wand from his sleeve.

Snape glanced at him, but continued scribbling on a piece of parchment. “Wipe that grin off your face, Potter.”

Harry tried not to smile, but couldn’t quite pull it off. “I wanted to thank you, sir.”

“Whatever for?’ Snape asked without looking up.

“For writing to Remus. I saw him last weekend and it really helped,” Harry answered quietly.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Potter,” Snape said softly.

“I know, sir,” Harry said just as softly.

Snape’s mouth quirked slightly, and Harry thought for a moment that it would turn into a full-fledged smile. Snape stood abruptly and began throwing curses at Harry. Harry grinned and began defending himself.

****

Classes improved tremendously. It seemed the entire school was bound and determined to make sure that Harry was treated fairly by his teachers. During Herbology, the entire class sat quietly and refused to answer any questions that Professor Sprout put to them, until Harry had been acknowledged and allowed to answer at least once. The same was true in Transfiguration. Ron was disappointed that Harry’s plan was working and there was no need to cause pranks in class. Hermione was pleased, and even began tutoring Harry on tidbits of information that could arise in those two classes so that he could answer the questions easily. Sprout seemed surprised and slightly cowed at the attitude she received from her combined Gryffindor/Hufflepuff Herbology class, but she altered her attitude enough that the anger directed toward her abated and class quickly returned to normal.

McGonagall, on the other hand, refused to be intimidated by her own students. When everyone refused to answer questions or respond to her until she had called on Harry, she simply assigned more homework to the class and proceeded with her lecture.

Harry was reporting the newest developments with glee in a letter to Remus when a throat cleared from the seat across from him. He looked up to find Seamus sitting across from him with an awkward smile on his face. Harry tensed, remembering how Seamus had treated him during fifth year, though they had seemed to have gotten past that last year.

“Hi, Seamus,” Harry said cautiously.

“I don’t mean to interrupt you, but I was wondering if we could talk,” Seamus said quietly.

Harry frowned. “Okay. What’s up?”

Seamus frowned and shook his head. “Not here. Could we go somewhere?”

Harry glanced around the Common Room. No one was paying them any attention. “Why can’t we talk here?”

Seamus flushed. “I’d just like to talk somewhere private. You want to go for a walk around the lake?”

Harry blinked. “Okay. Just let me put this away upstairs.”

Seamus nodded. “I’ll meet you in the entrance hall.”

Harry frowned and watched as Seamus made his way to the portrait hole. He stashed his letter in his trunk and gathered his cloak and scarf. Seamus smiled as Harry approached and they walked silently toward the lake.

“What’s this about, Seamus?” Harry asked when they were well away from the castle.

Seamus looked out over the lake. “I just wanted to ask you something. And I didn’t want anyone to overhear us.”

“Okay,” Harry said after Seamus was silent for a few minutes. “So ask.”

Seamus laughed awkwardly. “It’s just…I don’t know how.”

Harry frowned. “Just ask.”

Seamus stopped walking and Harry turned to him. “I know we haven’t always gotten along that well. And I’m sorry about what I did fifth year.”

Harry smiled. “Don’t worry about it. It was weird, and I can understand how you can think I was crazy. We got past it. Everything’s fine.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Seamus stuffed his hands in his pockets and turned back to the lake. “So, I can ask you something, and it’ll be okay?”

“Of course.” Harry frowned.

“Well,” Seamus paused and glanced at Harry. “First, I just wanted to say that I think you’re really brave. Telling everyone that you’re gay. I mean, I was raised in a wizard home and I know that it’s not very popular. I-I don’t mean to say that I think you’re wrong to feel the way you do,” Seamus said quickly. “But it’s not very common. And a lot of the older, pureblood wizard families kind of frown on that, um, lifestyle, I guess.”

Harry stared at Seamus. “You said you were okay with me. Is this going to be a problem?”

“No!” Seamus exclaimed. “No. I really don’t have a problem with it.”

“Well, you’ve been kind of withdrawn since you found out,” Harry said. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“You don’t. Really,” Seamus reassured him quickly. “I just, well…” Seamus blushed and looked away. “I just wanted to know how you knew.” He shrugged. “I mean, how did you know you were gay?”

Harry frowned, and then smiled suddenly. “I didn’t really. I mean, I like girls.”

Seamus frowned. “But you and Remus….”

Harry shrugged. “I don’t know. I love him. And I really want to… you know. But I didn’t really have a choice.”

“I don’t understand.”

Harry sighed. “I know. Look, if I tell you something about me and Remus, you have to promise not to tell anyone else. It’s kind of a bigger deal than just liking Remus.”

Seamus nodded.

“We’re bonded.”

Seamus’ eyes widened comically. “You mean you’ve been bonded?”

Harry shook his head. “It’s not like we’re married or anything. Well, I guess we are. But it’s not what you think. It’s a thing with werewolves finding their perfect mate and them being bound to each other for the rest of their lives. You know Remus knew my parents, right?” Seamus nodded. “When he first held me he knew I was going to be his mate and some kind of bond formed between us. It wasn’t sexual or anything,” Harry said quickly at Seamus’ horrified look. “It was more of a, um, protective instinct. He wanted to take care of me and keep me safe. ‘s why he taught here third year, when everyone still thought that Sirius was Voldemort’s servant. And then he watched out for me fifth and sixth year. This, um, sex thing, is new.”

Seamus nodded, deep in thought. “So, you’re not really gay?”

Harry shook his head. “I don’t think so. I mean, I never really noticed. Well, I liked Cho, but that ended kind of bad. And it’s so easy with Remus.”

“Oh,.” Seamus said softly.

Harry laid a hand on his arm. “Seamus, do you think you’re gay?”

Seamus shrugged the hand off his arm. “No.” He sighed. “I don’t know. I thought maybe you could tell me.”

Harry chuckled. “How would I know if you’re gay or not?”

Seamus scowled. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Sorry, look, don’t get mad,” Harry rushed to reassure him.

“I just wanted to know how you knew.”

“Oh. I’m sorry. I guess you just know.” Harry looked at him carefully. “Do you like girls?” Seamus shrugged. “Do you like boys?” Seamus bit his lip and nodded slowly. “Have you done anything? With either?” Seamus shook his head. “Well, maybe you should try kissing a girl. And then if you like it, but still don’t know, maybe you should kiss a boy. Maybe you like both.”

Seamus frowned. “What?”

Harry smiled. “Maybe you like both boys and girls. It’s possible.”

Seamus looked thoughtful, then turned to Harry speculatively. “Would you kiss me?”

“What!?” Harry squawked. “I didn’t mean me, Seamus!”

Seamus laughed. “Calm down. I just thought, maybe, since you….”

“Didn’t you hear me, Seamus? I’m not gay!”

“Okay, calm down.” Seamus shrugged and looked away. “I mean, you’re here and nobody’s around and how am I supposed to find somebody to kiss me? I can’t just go around and ask someone.”

“Well, you just asked me,” Harry said sharply.

“Yeah, but you and Remus --”

“That’s me and Remus,” Harry interrupted angrily.

“Okay. Fine. Sorry I asked.” Seamus’ shoulders slumped and he turned back toward the castle.

Harry sighed. “Seamus, wait.” Seamus turned around. “I’m sorry. You’re right; you can’t just go around asking people. Look, just once, and you can’t tell anybody.”

“Okay.” Seamus grinned.

“I mean anybody,” Harry repeated.

“Okay.” Seamus walked up to him and reached for him.

Harry stepped back. “Not here. Let’s go over to the forest.”

Seamus paused, but followed Harry to the edge of the forest. Harry darted behind a large tree and waited. Seamus walked up to him and took his hand. “You sure you don’t mind?”

Harry scowled. “Just get on with it.”

Seamus grinned. “Gosh, Harry, you’re such a romantic.”

Harry growled, and Seamus pounced. Harry drew back sharply when Seamus pressed his mouth painfully to his. “Slow down, Romeo. Not so hard.”

Seamus sighed. “What am I supposed to do?”

“Well first you don’t smash your mouth down on mine like you’re trying to brain me.” Harry retorted.

Seamus stepped back. “Then you do it.”

“Fine!” Harry stepped forward and pulled Seamus’ face down to his. He pressed their lips together softly before nibbling at Seamus’ lower lip. Seamus opened his mouth slightly and Harry deepened the kiss. Harry pulled back slowly and scowled. Seamus stood in front of him, his eyes closed, his mouth open and glistening.

“Wow,” Seamus breathed.

Harry quickly made his face blank as Seamus opened his eyes. “Well?”

Seamus nodded. “That was nice. Can I…?” Seamus stepped forward, but Harry stepped back.

“No! I mean, no, thanks. I don’t think….”

Seamus grinned ruefully. “You didn’t like it.”

“No, it was nice. It just…it didn’t feel right. I mean, it felt like….” Harry broke off and shrugged.

“It felt like you were cheating on Remus,” Seamus said softly.

Harry nodded. “Yeah. I’m sorry.”

Seamus smiled. “Don’t be. I think half of my question was answered.” Seamus turned and began walking back to the castle. Harry followed slowly. Seamus stopped just before they reached the front doors and waited for Harry to catch up. “Thanks, Harry. You don’t know how much that helped.”

Harry smiled. “No problem. Just don’t… don’t expect a repeat.”

Seamus smiled. “I won’t.”

“And if you have any problems, with anyone or anything, just let me know.”

Seamus nodded. “I will. And really, thanks.”

Hermione and Ron were waiting for him on the sofa in front of the fireplace when they came in. Seamus smiled and went to join Neville and Dean, playing Exploding Snap in the corner; Harry sat next to Hermione.

Ron leaned forward. “What did he say to you?”

Harry blinked at the anger in Ron’s voice. “Nothing.”

“Don’t you lie to me, Harry Potter.” Ron shook his finger at Harry. Hermione turned to Harry and hid her grin from Ron. “If he said something to make you upset….”

“Does he look upset, Ron?” Hermione turned and grabbed Ron’s finger, curling her hand around his.

Ron sat back and glared at Hermione and Harry. “I guess not. So what did he want?”

Harry shrugged and glanced at Seamus. “Nothing. He just said that he admired me for telling people about me and Remus.”

“And you had to go off by yourselves for him to say that?” Ron asked.

“It’s no big deal. Nothing happened. He didn’t say anything mean. He just asked me some questions,” Harry said softly.

Ron sat back. “Oh.”

Hermione smiled at Harry. “Does he think…?”

Harry shook his head. “It’s none of your business. And it’s not mine to tell.”

Hermione nodded and gave Harry a pleased smile.

Ron leaned forward. “Do you think it’s time we did something about McGonagall?”

Harry grinned; Hermione frowned. “No. I don’t think we should do anything.” Ron opened his mouth to protest but Hermione continued quickly. “I’ve been doing some research about you and Remus, Harry, and I want to see what else I can find before anything else happens. So we should just keep doing what we have been doing.”

Harry frowned. “What do you think you’re going to find, Hermione?”

“I don’t know. But there’s something else going on. There’s got to be. This just doesn’t make sense.”

Ron and Harry shared a glance and shrugged. Hermione was usually right and they silently agreed to wait until she had completed her research to make any plans.

****  
Harry was staggering up from the dungeons two weeks later and made a mental note to start taking his cane to his tutoring sessions with Snape. Fending off Snape’s attacks, and casting some of his own, exhausted him and made negotiating the stairs difficult. He reached the entrance hall and paused for a moment. A movement from the shadows drew his attention and Harry groaned inwardly as Draco Malfoy stepped toward him.

“Good evening, Potter,” Malfoy simpered and moved toward Harry. “How are you?”

Harry rolled his eyes. “I’m fine, Malfoy. What do you want?”

Malfoy stalked closer to Harry. “I just thought we might get to know each other better. We’ve been going to school with each other for six years and we hardly know each other.”

Harry began stepping back as Malfoy stalked forward. “We know each other well enough, Malfoy.”

Malfoy chuckled. “I disagree.” Harry stumbled against the wall and Malfoy placed his hands on the wall on either side of Harry’s shoulder, trapping him there and leaning forward slightly. “I think we can get to know each other much, much better.”

Harry pushed against Malfoy until the other boy stumbled back. Harry stepped around him and backed toward the stairs. “Are you crazy!? Do you honestly think I want anything at all to do with you?”

Malfoy grinned and followed Harry to the stairs. “Why wouldn’t you? I can certainly treat you better than that penniless werewolf can.”

Harry paused, his eyes widening. “Eww. Malfoy, trust me when I say I’ve never been more disgusted in my entire life. And I saw Voldemort’s guts up close and personal. I love Remus, it’s not just a fling or something.” Harry’s eyes sparkled as a stray thought entered his head. “But if you’re lonely, I think maybe Seamus might want to spend some time with you.”

Malfoy paused and considered the suggestion. “Finnegan, huh?” Malfoy nodded. “Alright. I’ll just be on my way.”

“Malfoy,” Harry called as Malfoy approached the stairs to the dungeons. “If you hurt him, or embarrass him in any way, there is no where you can hide from me or his other friends.”

To his surprise, Malfoy smiled at him. “Don’t worry, Potter. He’ll be perfectly safe with me.”

Harry narrowed his eyes and watched Malfoy disappear down the stairs before turning and making his way slowly up the stairs. He paused halfway to Gryffindor tower and sat on a small bench in front of a window waiting for the muscles in his injured leg to uncramp.

“Mr. Potter, what are you doing here?”

Harry jumped and tried to stand, but staggered back down onto the bench as McGonagall approached him. “I’m sorry, Professor. I was just coming back from a meeting in the dungeons and needed to rest for a minute.”

McGonagall’s lips pinched together. “I see. And what were you doing in the dungeons?”

Harry frowned. “I had an appointment with Professor Snape, ma’am.”

“Indeed. I will speak to Professor Snape about this, Potter. Return to your Common Room.” McGonagall folded her arms across her chest and watched as Harry made his way slowly up the stairs. He half expected her to follow him, but she remained where she was. Harry let out a sigh of relief as he made his way to Gryffindor Tower.

Ron waved at him from a table in the corner. Harry nodded, but approached Seamus instead of joining Ron and Hermione.

“Seamus, can I talk to you for a minute?” Seamus frowned but nodded and followed Harry to their empty dorm room. Harry retrieved his cane from his trunk and sank gratefully onto his bed.

“What is it?” Seamus asked.

Harry grimaced. “I may have done something stupid this evening, and I just wanted to warn you. Malfoy accosted me this evening. I told him I wasn’t interested. But then I said that you might be.”

Seamus made a face. “What?!”

“I’m sorry. But I think he was sincere. I mean, I don’t think that he was doing this to humiliate me. I think he’s in the same boat you are.”

Seamus sat beside Harry. “What do you mean?”

“Well, look at it this way: he’s from an old wizarding family, and he was brought up with the same prejudices that you were. And he’s been looking at me for a while, and not in a ‘I’m going to hex you to death’ kind of way. Kind of ‘I wouldn’t mind shagging you’ kind of way. And since he found out about me and Remus, he, um, he’s been giving me these, um, intense looks.” Harry watched Seamus a moment. “But I told him not to hurt you or he’d be in a world of hurt, too. And if you want I’ll find him and tell him to leave you alone.”

Seamus started. “No, that’s okay. I just never thought of Malfoy. But he is cute, in a pretty boy sort of way.” Seamus shrugged. “Might as well see what happens.”

Seamus and Harry jumped as the door opened and slammed shut. Ron stood glaring at Seamus. “What do you think you’re doing, Finnegan?”

“I’m not doing anything, Ron. Harry wanted to talk to me,” Seamus said quickly.

Harry smiled and swallowed a laugh. “Ron, really, it’s nothing.”

Ron stepped forward, yanked Seamus to his feet and pushed him to the center of the dormitory. “That’s the second time you’ve gone off alone with Harry. What are you up to?”

Seamus backed away from Ron, who continued to loom menacingly over him. “Nothing! Honest! Ease off, Weasley.”

Harry stood and limped forward. “Cut it out, Ron. It’s alright.”

“Then tell me what’s going on! Now!” Ron shouted, his fists clenched.

“I just wanted to ask Harry something.”

“What!” Ron roared.

“I wanted to find out how he knew he was gay!” Seamus babbled.

Ron released his breath in a rush and stepped back, a confused look spreading across his face. “Huh?”

Harry started laughing and collapsed back on his bed.

Seamus swallowed and began talking fast. “I just wanted to know how he knew, and maybe find out if I am too and then he said that Malfoy might be interested and that he might approach me and then he said that if I didn’t want anything to do with Malfoy that he would tell him to leave me alone and I said that was okay and that I wouldn’t mind seeing what Malfoy had to say.”

“Oh.” Ron said after taking a moment to decipher Seamus’ ramble. He looked at Harry who had his arms wrapped around his ribs, laughing. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you.” Ron looked back at Seamus. “So you think you’re gay, huh?”

Seamus nodded cautiously.

Ron shrugged. “Okay. But you tell Malfoy that if he hurts you I’ll kill him.”

“You don’t mind?” Seamus asked softly.

Harry stopped laughing, though a large smile still stretched across his face.

“What do I care? But just so you know….” Ron began, but broke off as Seamus and Harry finished the sentence.

“You’re not interested.”

Ron flushed and turned to Harry. “If you’ve finished you’re little conversation, Hermione has some information for us.”

Harry grinned. “Sure Ron.” He stood and leaned heavily on his cane. “Alright, Seamus?”

Seamus grinned back. “Sure, Harry. Thanks.”

“Shut up.” Ron muttered as they shut the door behind them.

“I didn’t say anything.” Harry grinned.

Ron led the way down the stairs, muttering under his breath. He paused at the bottom and frowned as he watched Harry negotiate the stairs slowly. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, why?” Harry asked.

“You haven’t used your cane for a while now.” Ron said.

Harry shrugged and began walking over to the table where Hermione waited, surrounded by books. “My leg was cramping a bit.”

Ron sat next to Hermione and frowned at Harry, but didn’t say anything else. Harry turned to Hermione. “What did you find out?”

Hermione cleared her throat and leaned forward. “Well, you were right, Harry. You’re not really gay.”

“He’s not?”

“I’m not?” Ron and Harry spoke at the same time. Harry flushed. “I mean, of course I’m not.”

Ron chuckled. “So what does that mean?”

Hermione glanced between them. “What I mean is that Harry probably wouldn’t have been gay if he hadn’t met Remus. But since you did, and you interacted with him at such a young age, you never had a chance to develop feelings for anyone else before you were bound to Remus. So you’re only attracted to him.”

Harry frowned. “What about Cho? I really liked her.”

Hermione looked at him. “Did you really, Harry? I know that boys are stupid when it comes to girls and romance.” Hermione ignored Ron’s outraged “Hey!” “But even the stupidest of boys would have known better than to tell a girl they were on a date with that he was going to meet another girl, even if they were just friends.”

Harry frowned. “But I really liked her. I mean I really, really liked her.”

Hermione shrugged. “I don’t know what that means, Harry. Maybe if you hadn’t met Remus you would have had a relationship with her, or you would have dated other girls after screwing up so spectacularly on your first date. But were you ever interested in any other girl besides Cho?”

Harry frowned and shook his head.

“And when did you first start to like her? Third year, wasn’t it?” Hermione asked carefully.

“Yeah, I think so.” Harry answered. “So what are you getting at?”

Hermione began straightening the parchment and books in front of her. “I think maybe you were transferring some of your feelings for Remus onto Cho. That doesn’t mean that you were attracted to Remus then,” she continued quickly, “but there was something working between you two, drawing you together. You didn’t understand what was happening and so you transferred it to a pretty girl. Cho.” Hermione smiled timidly and watched as Harry frowned.

Finally he shrugged and his expression cleared. “It makes since, I guess. I’ve always been drawn to Remus, even before I remembered him. And now….” Hermione and Ron blinked at the brilliant smile that bloomed on Harry’s face.

Hermione cleared her throat again. “So, you’re not upset?”

Harry shook his head, a smile still playing around his mouth. “Why would I be upset?”

“Well, you never had a choice,” Hermione said softly. “You’ve been bound to Remus since you were a baby.”

Harry shrugged and said softly, “It’s not like I’ve ever had a choice anyway.”

Hermione shook her head and smiled. “I guess not.” She glanced at Ron. “Are you okay?”

Ron stared at Harry with a concerned look on his face. “Yeah, ‘m fine.”

Harry frowned at him. “Ron, are you sure?”

Ron nodded. “Yeah. It’s just, well, he’s a werewolf, and he’s had a hard life. I’m just worried about what will – could -- happen when – if – you end up alone.”

“That’s not going to happen.” Harry grinned suddenly. “What’s with the sudden protective streak in you anyway?”

Ron flushed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Hermione grinned and turned to Ron. “Of course you do. You’ve barely let him out of your sight. And you’re antsy until he returns from wherever he went without you.”

“And why did you follow me up to the dorm room and attack Seamus?” Harry asked.

“Ron! What did you do?” Hermione asked, sounding very much like McGonagall when she was scolding a student.

“I didn’t do anything!” Ron said quickly. “I wanted to make sure Harry was alright! He’s been acting kind of shifty lately, anyway.”

Hermione settled back into her chair. “That’s true. He has been acting strange.” She turned to Harry. “Has he been bothering you?”

“Not exactly.”

“I knew it!” Ron sat up and pointed an accusing finger at Harry. “He has been harassing you, hasn’t he?”

“No. He just wanted to ask me some questions,” Harry answered quickly.

Hermione looked at Harry consideringly. “What kind of questions?”

Harry looked at Hermione intently. “If you think hard enough, I’m sure you can figure it out.”

Harry and Hermione stared at each other so long that Ron began to shift uncomfortably. Hermione’s eyes widened suddenly. “Oh. Oh! You mean he…?”

Harry nodded slowly.

“Oh.” Hermione said and sat back in her chair. “Well, that’s okay then.”

“It’s not okay if he’s following Harry around and assaulting him,” Ron whispered angrily.

Hermione frowned. “Has he been following you around and assaulting you, Harry?”

Harry chuckled, “No.” He sobered quickly. “But you guys need to keep quiet about this. And don’t tease him. He’s really nervous.”

“Of course we won’t tease him.” Hermione turned to Ron sharply. “Will we, Ron?”

“So long as he leaves Harry alone I’ll leave him alone.”

Harry grinned and rolled his eyes at Hermione. “Besides, I think he’ll be all right now.”

Ron snickered. “Yeah. He set him up with Draco Malfoy.”

“What!?” Hermione said stridently.

Harry glanced around the Common Room. “Will you be quiet?” he whispered urgently. “Malfoy cornered me coming up the stairs from the dungeons. I told him to leave me alone and that he might ask Seamus. And before you get upset, I warned him that everyone would be after him if he hurt Seamus. Then I warned Seamus that Malfoy might make a move on him And that’s when Ron pitched a fit at Seamus.”

Harry and Hermione turned to Ron, who glared at them, his ears bright red.

“I didn’t ‘pitch a fit’ at Seamus.” He shifted uncomfortably. “I just wanted to make sure that Seamus wasn’t being prejudiced toward Harry. He’s done it before, you know.”

Hermione sat back and considered the situation. “Oh. Well, that’s true. But at least we know now that Seamus is okay with everything.”

Ron still looked slightly mutinous, but nodded anyway. Harry leaned forward and motioned for the others to lean in too. “Listen, I need to tell you something else.” He quickly recounted his confrontation with McGonagall on the stairs and leaned back again. Ron looked upset; Hermione stared thoughtfully toward the fireplace. Harry waited patiently while his friends digested this new information.

Ron blinked slowly at him, then smiled. “So, maybe it’s time to start pranking in her class.”

Hermione frowned and Harry waited for the expected explosion. “Ron’s right. It’s time to start acting up a bit in her class.” She turned to Harry who stared owlishly back at her. “Just start little. Ron and I will help. If it doesn’t get any better, we’ll enlist the whole house after Christmas holidays. Your grade is alright, isn’t it?” Harry nodded absently and continued to stare at Hermione. “Good. Just be sure and get your assignments in on time and to do a good job and there shouldn’t be a problem. And if we do this right, she’ll never know who it is.”

Ron stared at Hermione for a minute before he exploded. “What on Earth is wrong with you?!” Ron shouted. “You’re not supposed to agree with me. You’re supposed to say my ideas are stupid and come up with something better!”

Hermione jumped at Ron’s first word and stared incredulously at Ron. Harry glanced around and smiled vaguely at the people staring at them from around the Common Room. Neville grinned and joined them at the table.

“I can’t help it, Ron,” Hermione said sadly. “We’ve tried everything and McGonagall just doesn’t pay any attention to what we try. It’s time for extreme action.”

Neville leaned toward Harry and whispered. “What’s going on?”

Harry leaned toward Neville. “Ron said it’s time to start pranking in McGonagall’s class and Hermione agreed.”

Neville grinned. “Upset the natural order of things, didn’t she?”

Harry grinned back and turned his attention back to Ron and Hermione.

“Well,” Hermione began primly. “Contact Fred and George and find out what kind of subtle pranks they have. No dung bombs! I hate those things.”

Harry laughed. “I’ll owl Remus and ask him about some of the things the Marauders got up to when they were here.”

Ron laughed. “He’ll be so proud.”

Harry grinned, said good night and headed slowly upstairs to his dorm room.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas with Remus.

Harry frowned as he read Remus’ letter. The next Hosgmeade weekend was two weekends before Christmas holidays began. Harry had been hoping that Remus would be there, but had forgotten to take into account the full moon, which fell just after that weekend. Remus didn’t want to risk seeing Harry again that near the full moon.

“Is that from Remus?” Harry looked up at Hermione’s soft question and nodded. “He’s not going to come up, is he?” Harry shook his head and let the scroll roll up on itself. Hermione patted his hand soothingly. “Well, you can see him at Christmas, anyway.”

Harry frowned. “What?”

Hermione giggled. “You are going to stay with Remus this Christmas, aren’t you? It’s not like you need permission to leave Hogwarts or anything.”

Harry smiled slightly. “I hadn’t really thought about it. I guess I can go home, can’t I?” Hermione laughed and Harry grinned at her. “What are you doing for Christmas?” Harry’s grin grew as Hermione blushed.

“Mrs. Weasley invited me stay. She didn’t invite you?”

Harry shook his head. “I’m guessing that she knows about you and Ron.”

“There’s nothing about me and Ron,” Hermione said stiffly, though her face got redder.

“Yeah, right. Just that you two can be found snogging in any dark corner you find and you disappear every now and then.” Harry frowned suddenly. “Has Ron done anything to you?”

“What? No!” Hermione answered quickly.

“He hasn’t said anything? He hasn’t tried to make you do anything you don’t want to?” Harry persisted.

Hermione shook her head frantically. “Of course not! Why would you ask such a thing?”

“Hermione, I’m a guy. I may only be attracted to Remus, but I still think like a guy. And the only thing that guys think about is sex. You’re both my best friends, but if he ever does anything you don’t like or that makes you uncomfortable, I’ll kick his ass. And that goes the same for any other guy who tries anything with you”

Hermione smiled and hugged him briefly. “Does that mean that you’ll kick my ass if I ever hurt Ron?”

Harry grinned. “You better believe it.”

They laughed briefly and Hermione took Harry’s hand in hers. “So are you going to Remus’ for Christmas?”

“Yeah, I think I am.”

Hermione smiled and squeezed Harry’s hand. “Just don’t do anything stupid.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t do anything that you and Ron aren’t doing.” Harry grinned as Hermione blushed and looked away.

****

Harry opened the door to the cottage and glanced around in some shock. Papers and books were strewn about the floor; the colorful afghan that had hung over the back of the sofa all summer was lying on the floor in front of the fireplace. The kitchen was equally messy with dirty dishes piled on the table and in the sink. “Remus?” Harry called carefully and jumped slightly when Remus sat up at the kitchen table. “Are you alright?”

“Whad are you doink here?” Remus’ eyes and nose were red and what hair wasn’t stuck to his face and neck in sweaty clumps stuck up in all directions.

Harry bit his lip to keep from laughing. “It’s the first day of Christmas holidays. What’s wrong with you?”

“I hab the flu. Or a cold or somethink. Why are you here?” Remus frowned and propped his head in his hand.

“I’m beginning to think you don’t want me here, Remus,” Harry said as he stalked forward and pulled Remus to his feet. “You should be in bed.”

“I wab makink tea.” Remus protested as Harry led him into his bedroom.

“I’ll make your tea. Why haven’t you taken a potion?”

Remus groaned as Harry pushed him gently down onto his bed and smoothed the blankets over him. “I dibn’t habe any potions supplies and I felb too bad to geb some.”

“I’ll run out and get some.”

“I wab some tea.”

Harry chuckled and smoothed the hair from Remus’ forehead. “I’ll make your tea first. Just stay in bed and rest.”

Harry carried a mug of tea with a dollop of honey into Remus’ room twenty minutes later. Remus was sleeping, his fingers curled around the edge of the quilt. Harry smiled and set the mug on the bedside table, placing a warming charm on the mug before smoothing the hair from Remus’ forehead again. He pressed a light kiss to Remus’ mouth before he stepped outside and Apparated to the apothecary in Diagon Alley.

****  
Harry pushed the door open and glanced in at Remus. He seemed to be sleeping peacefully but the mug of tea was empty, proving that he had been awake at some point in the two hours that Harry had been at Diagon Alley and preparing the potion. Harry sighed and set the steaming goblet on the table beside the empty mug. He hated to wake him, but he would feel better after he took the Pepper Up potion.

“Remus.” Harry touched his shoulder gently. “Remus, wake up.” Harry frowned when Remus didn’t wake up or move. “Remus?” Harry leaned over him and shook his shoulder firmly. “Remus! Wake up!”

Remus sat up quickly, knocking his head against Harry’s. Both men clutched their foreheads and Remus groaned before cradling his head in both hands. Harry sat beside him and touched his shoulder gently. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.” He lifted the goblet and held it out to Remus. “Here. Drink this. You’ll feel better.”

Remus scowled, but swallowed all of the potion before collapsing back onto his pillows. His ears began to smoke and Harry laughed.

“I wad some more tea.”

Harry laughed. “As soon as your ears stop smoking, I’ll bring in some more tea.”

Remus scowled again and crossed his arms over his chest. “Wad are you doink here?”

“It’s Christmas holidays, Remus. Do you want me to leave? I can stay with the Weasleys if you don’t want me here.”

“Of course you can stay. I do wad you here. I just didn’k know how late it was.”

Harry smiled and stood. “I’ll get started on the tea. Stay in bed.”

“You’d nod my keeper, you knowb.”

“I know. But do what I say anyway.”

Harry left Remus grumbling under his breath. When he returned with the promised mug of tea and a bowl of soup, Remus was still scowling, but his ears had stopped smoking.

“I brought your tea and some soup.”

“I’b not hungry.” Remus reached for the mug of tea and ignored the soup on the tray that Harry set on his lap.

Harry frowned as Remus drank the tea greedily. “Do you feel better?”

“Yes, why?” Remus answered between gulps.

“You still sound terrible. Maybe you need some more Pepper-Up potion.”

“I don’b want anymore.” Remus held his empty mug out to Harry. “More tea.”

Harry swallowed a grin and frowned at Remus. “Eat some soup.”

“I’b not hungry. I want some more tea.”

Harry glared at Remus. “Eat some soup and I’ll get you some tea.”

Remus crossed his arms and glared back. “I’b not hungry.”

Harry sighed and sat on the bed. He lifted a spoonful of soup to Remus’ lips. “Come on, Remus. You probably are hungry and just don’t realize it. Just a little and I’ll get some more tea.” Remus glared and kept his mouth shut. “Please, Remus.” Remus growled and opened his mouth. Harry grinned and fed Remus the spoonful of soup. “Thank you, Remus. Have another bite, and keep eating, and I’ll be back in a minute with your tea.”

Harry grinned as Remus continued eating the soup. By the time he returned with a teapot, the soup was gone.

“You weren’t hungry, huh?” Harry grinned and refilled Remus’ mug.

“Shut up.” Remus drank deeply before he settled back onto the pillows behind him.

“How do you feel now?” Harry took the tray from Remus’ lap and set it aside before climbing onto the bed beside Remus.

“Better. Thank you. I’m not very pleasant when I’m sick.”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.” Harry chuckled at Remus’ look.

“I am happy to see you,” Remus said softly.

“So am I,” Harry said just as softly. “I cleaned the dishes and straightened up a bit. How long have you been sick?”

Remus shrugged and drank some more tea. “Not long. Just yesterday and today, I guess.”

“Why didn’t you go somewhere and get a potion?”

Remus glanced at Harry before staring into his mug. “Where should I have gone?”

“Mrs. Weasley would have gladly given you something. And there are half a dozen shops in London where you could have bought something. Even some Muggle medicine would have been better than lying here sick.”

Remus smiled. “But then you wouldn’t have come and taken care of me.”

Harry stared a minute. “Of course I would have.” Remus grinned and Harry smiled. “Git. Just for that, I’m not making you any more tea.”

“That’s alright. I’ll be able to make my own tea tomorrow. But I think I’d like a bath now.” Remus sat his mug aside and pushed the blankets aside.

Harry grimaced. “I’ll change your bedsheets while you do that. And bring in some more tea and soup for you.”

Harry stood and watched as Remus stood, his eyes closed as he swayed slightly. Remus opened his eyes and turned to the door. Harry changed the sheets and reamde the bed. Remus was pale, but less shaky when he returned and Harry forced more Pepper-Up potion on him before he gave him his tea and soup. Remus stared blearily at Harry after he finished eating. “I think I’ll take another nap.”

“Whatever you had certainly packed a wallop, didn’t it?”

Remus hummed and closed his eyes. “Probably got it during the full moon.”

Harry frowned and opened his mouth to ask Remus what he meant, but Remus was already asleep.

****  
Harry swallowed a grin as Remus tossed another book aside and cursed again. Harry had goofed when he had straightened the living room; what he thought was a mess was actually Remus’ crazy filing system. Occasionally Remus would look up from digging through the piles of parchment and books he was trying to reorganize and glare at Harry. He tried to look suitably contrite and had offered to help, but Remus had only grumbled under his breath and pushed him to the sofa with a terse “No, thank you.”

Harry buried his nose in his book as Remus threw another glare his way after he retrieved a pile of parchment from under the desk. It actually was a very interesting book, probably one that he had gotten from Sirius’ library. While it couldn’t technically be called a Dark Arts book, it did delve deeply into the psychology of creatures traditionally called dark. Harry was reading about dementors when the book was snatched from his hands.

“I’ve been looking for this for an hour.” Remus glared down at Harry where he was sprawled across the couch.

“Sorry. You said you didn’t want my help.” Harry tried not to grin, though the way that Remus’ glower darkened, he wasn’t successful.

“I don’t want your help.”

“Okay.” Remus continued to glare down at him. “Is there a book here that I can read?”

Remus sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He glanced at the title and handed the book back to Harry. “Here. Sorry.”

Harry took the book and sat up, satisfied when Remus sat beside him. “I’m sorry I messed up your system. It looked like a whirlwind went through here, and judging by the state of the kitchen, I just thought that you had been too tired to straighten up.”

Remus waved his apology aside. “It’s alright. I’m just going back through and double checking my facts.”

“So you finished your book?”

Remus nodded. “Yeah, except for a bit of final editing. And then I have to find an editor and a publishing house that will take it.”

“Are you still thinking of a pseudonym?” Harry asked softly.

Remus grinned. “I think I have one: Sirius James.” Harry laughed. “Would you look over my manuscript for me?”

Harry smiled. “I’d love to.”

Remus smiled and brought a pile of parchment over to him. “Just keep in mind that it’s still a rough draft. And I haven’t double checked my facts yet. I’m also a poor speller and I think my grammar is okay, but sometimes I have trouble getting my meaning across in written form. And I’m not sure that --”

“Remus, stop,” Harry interrupted. “You’re one of the smartest people I know. I’m sure it’s fine.”

Remus nodded and sat beside him. “Oh, there’s something I need to tell you.” Remus pulled the parchment away from him and began looking through it. “There’s this place here that….” Remus looked up sheepishly and handed the parchment back to Harry. “Sorry. I’m just a little nervous.”

“It’s okay. Don’t worry. It’s not like I’m going to mark it up with red ink or anything. I’m just looking at it.”

“Yeah. Right.” Remus ran sweaty palms over his robes before standing and wandering around the room. Harry watched a few minutes as Remus touched books and objects briefly before moving on, but finally turned his attention to Remus’ manuscript. Harry didn’t know how much time had passed before he looked up and found Remus dozing on the sofa beside him. Harry smiled. “Remus?” He touched Remus lightly and smiled again when Remus jerked awake.

“What? What time is it?” Remus glanced around the room before focusing on Harry. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. It’s probably late.” Harry lifted the manuscript. “I finished reading.”

Remus tensed and stared at Harry. “Well?”

“It’s great, Remus.” Harry grinned. “It’s really good. It’s straightforward and informative. Very well written and, as you can see, it certainly held my attention.”

Remus relaxed against the back of the couch. “You really think it’s good?”

“Remus, it’s the best magical creature book I’ve come across. Not only do you differentiate between myth and fact, but you also explain the history of the creature and how to care for them and defend yourself against them. It’s really good and if it’s not published by someone it’ll be a crime.”

Remus smiled. "I’m glad you like it.” Remus stopped smiling and Harry leaned toward him, but Remus turned away. “It’s late. You should head to bed.”

Harry touched Remus’ face gently. “Remus,” he whispered.

Remus shook his head and stood. “It’s late, Harry.”

“Remus, I don’t want to sleep alone.”

Remus shook his head and stepped away. “You’re going to anyway. Good night, Harry.”

Harry watched Remus walk into his room and close the door.

****  
The Christmas holidays passed quickly. Harry and Remus went to the Weasley’s on Christmas Eve for a large meal followed by too much eggnog and caroling. Harry also delivered the presents he had purchased for Ron and Hermione and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. Harry and Remus slept late on Christmas, but spent most of the day laughing with each other as Remus recounted some of the pranks the Marauders had got up to while they were at school and Harry shared stories of his own adventures with Ron and Hermione. The rest of the break passed quickly; Harry helped Remus double check his facts and performed a helpful little charm that checked spelling and grammar that Hermione had taught him during sixth year. And every evening, Harry watched Remus disappear behind his bedroom door and slept alone in his bed. Remus barely touched Harry and he certainly hadn’t kissed him. And Harry had had enough.

They were sitting at the table after supper when Harry remembered something. “Remus, when I first arrived and you were complaining about tea,” Remus scowled and Harry smiled, “you said something about how you got sick. That you probably got it during the full moon. What did you mean?”

Remus frowned. “I don’t remember that.”

“You were falling asleep.”

Remus smiled and sipped his tea. “Sometimes, during the full moon, I don’t stay in the cottage or the basement.” Remus smiled wryly. “I guess I should have stayed in last time. I went out into the forest and probably contracted something there. My immune system gets a little strange around the full moon. It’s stronger when I’m a wolf and even if I’m sick before the full moon, I’m fine as a wolf. But if I’m just starting to get sick, or I contract something while I’m a wolf, it usually doesn’t show up until my immune system becomes normal again.” He shrugged. “I suspect that Animagi are the same way. Sirius would become a dog sometimes when he wasn’t feeling well and he always said it was because he felt better when he was Padfoot.”

“Is there anything else you want to tell me about Werewolves?” Harry gently teased.

Remus smiled. “Such as…?”

“Well, I know you have a stronger immune system around the full moon; you’re very smart; a wonderful teacher; you’re strong and protective; you bite your mate to claim them; and you’re a great kisser. So why haven’t you kissed me since I’ve been home?”

Remus was very still and staring into his teacup. “Harry, this isn’t the time.”

Harry reached for Remus’ hand and frowned as Remus pulled his hands into his lap. “Why not? I’ve been patient for the past three weeks, but I go back to Hogwarts tomorrow and I just want… I want you to stop shying away from me. You won’t let me hold your hand and the closest I’ve been to you has been when you were sick or asleep on the couch.”

“Harry, it’s not that I don’t….”

“Then what is it?”

Remus rubbed his face with his hands before laying his palms flat on the table. “You go back to school tomorrow. You need to finish at Hogwarts and take your NEWTs and do well. And not have to worry about me.”

Harry laughed briefly. “It’s a bit late for that.”

Remus smiled dryly. “It’ll only get worse.”

“How can you know that?”

“Because it already is,” Remus said softly.

“What? I don’t understand.” Harry waited patiently a few minutes. “Remus, please talk to me.”

“I didn’t expect you to come for Christmas. I wasn’t going to see you again until you were finished at Hogwarts and back for good.”

“I thought you were happy to see me.” Harry cursed the hurt tone in his voice.

“I am. But you’re leaving tomorrow and I hate that.”

Harry touched one of Remus’ hands lightly. “Remus….”

Remus closed his eyes. “Harry, I can’t. I can’t touch you and let you leave tomorrow.”

Harry stood and moved behind Remus’ chair. “I need you to. I can’t leave tomorrow without you touching me. Please.” Harry laid his hands gently on Remus’ shoulders. “Just whatever you can give. Please, Remus.” Harry closed his eyes and stepped away when Remus didn’t move. He was halfway to his room when he was grabbed from behind and pulled back against Remus’ chest.

“Do you know what you’re asking me?” Remus spoke harshly into Harry’s ear.

Harry gasped and laid his head on Remus’ shoulder. “Mark me.”

“Harry.” Remus’ voice was a growl and he turned Harry in his arms before capturing his lips in a fierce kiss. Harry groaned into Remus’ mouth and twined his arms around Remus’ neck, arching into him. Remus began slowly walking them back, never breaking the kiss fully until they stopped beside the sofa. “Do you know what I want to do to you?”

Harry panted lightly. “Show me.”

Remus grinned. “You have no idea how much I want to.” Remus pushed him back and Harry fell onto the sofa. “But I won’t.” Remus sat beside Harry and turned to lean against the arm of the sofa, pulling Harry to sit between his knees, leaning back against his chest.

Harry sighed as Remus’ arms wrapped around him. “Why not?”

Remus pulled the afghan off the back of the couch and over them both. “I promised your father.”

Harry stilled. “What?”

Remus’ arms squeezed him gently and his chin rested on Harry’s shoulder. “I promised him I would wait. I’m not breaking that promise. Not to your father.”

“I’m sorry,” Harry whispered.

“For what?”

“For pushing.”

Remus chuckled and Harry smiled, feeling it against his back. “You’re seventeen. It’s okay.” Remus removed Harry’s glasses, sliding them slightly beneath the sofa. Harry closed his eyes.

“Remus?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For holding me.”

Remus stroked Harry’s sides lightly and kissed him behind his ear. “It’s my pleasure.”

****

Harry awoke the next morning, warm and more comfortable than he had ever been before. He blinked blurry eyes and smiled when he remembered he was sleeping with Remus. The dynamics had changed in the night and they were now stretched out on the sofa, lying side by side, Harry pressed against the back of the couch, half lying on Remus’ chest. Harry smiled and shifted slightly so that his ear rested over Remus’ heart.

“It’s getting late.”

Harry’s smile grew when he felt Remus’ voice through his chest. He lifted his head and propped his chin on Remus’ chest. “So?”

Remus smiled and shifted. “You’re going back to school.”

“I’d rather stay here with you.”

Remus shifted again and Harry slid off him as Remus sat up and stood. Harry grabbed for Remus’ hand but couldn’t catch him before he moved toward the kitchen.

“That’s too bad, because you’re going back to Hogwarts.”

Harry sat up and leaned over the back of the sofa, watching Remus prepare tea in the kitchen. Harry grinned as he watched Remus drink two cups of tea before he began fixing breakfast. He eventually shuffled to his feet and into the loo, returning quickly when he smelled bacon and eggs on the air. Remus sat and watched him, nursing another cup of tea and smiling while Harry inhaled his meal. As soon as he was finished, Remus hurried Harry to his feet and into his bedroom and leaned against the door as he watched Harry pack the small bag he had brought with him. They stood on the small stoop together waiting for the Muggle taxi to come and take Harry to the station, not speaking much, but standing close enough that Harry’s arm brushed against Remus’ with every breath. The taxi pulled into view, Ron and Hermione already waiting in the back, and Harry shouldered his bag and turned to Remus.

“Is a hug too much to ask?” Harry asked with a small smile curving his mouth. Remus chuckled and pulled Harry to him. Harry buried his nose between Remus’ neck and collar and inhaled before pressing a light kiss there. He pulled out of Remus’ arms and smiled when Remus smoothed his hair. “I love you.” Harry turned and ran for the taxi before Remus could say anything. He shoved Hermione over and waved for the driver to go.

“I think that bloke wants a word.” The taxi driver looked at Harry in the rearview mirror and made no move to leave.

Harry glanced out the window. Remus had recovered and was walking toward the taxi with a glower on his face. “Just go!” Harry put as much force in his voice as he could.

“You’re business, mate.” The driver finally put the car in gear and drove off before Remus could reach the taxi.

Harry sat back in the seat and closed his eyes, panting slightly and cursing himself for saying that out loud. He glanced over as Hermione cleared her throat. She arched a brow and waited.

“What?”

“What was that about?” Ron asked.

“What did you do, Harry?” Hermione asked, finally breaking her silence.

“Nothing,” Harry mumbled and slouched down on the seat.

“Harry Potter, sit up and tell me what happened.” Harry glanced over and found Hermione doing a very good job being intimidating considering she was squished between Ron and Harry and Ron was draped over her. “Now.”

Harry sighed and sat up. “I told him I love him.”

Ron snickered.

“And?” Hermione demanded.

Harry shrugged. “Never said it before.”

Hermione sighed and leaned back against Ron. “And then you just ran off without letting him catch his breath?”

Ron snickered again, and again when Harry glared at him.

Hermione rolled her eyes. “You and I are going to have a very serious talk when we get back to Hog – school.”

Harry closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against the window.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Harry somehow managed to avoid Hermione for two weeks before she finally snagged him as he was returning from his first extra lesson with Snape of the new term. Harry followed her meekly until she finally grabbed his arm and pulled him into a shadowed niche. She perched on the bench there and glared until Harry joined her.

“Tell me what happened over Christmas.”

Harry shrugged and kicked his heels against the bench leg. “Nothing. And when I say nothing, I mean nothing.” Harry grinned and studied the stones behind Hermione’s head. “He promised my Dad that he wouldn’t do anything till I’m ready.”

Hermione’s eyes narrowed and Harry’s grin faded. “But you did try to get something to happen, didn’t you.”

“Of course I did, Hermione. He’s almost all I can think about, and I’m sure you can guess why that is.” Hermione blushed. Ron and Hermione had taken to leaning against each other, and walking together with their arms wrapped around each other. Harry tried not to feel jealous every time he saw them like that. “But I didn’t know that he had promised until he told me that last night.”

Hermione rubbed his back soothingly. “Has he ever told you he loved you?” Harry shook his head. “Was that the first time you’d ever said it.” Harry paused, but eventually nodded. “Oh, Harry. You stupid boy.” Hermione’s voice was soft and made Harry smile. “Why did you run after you told him?”

Harry shrugged. “I don’t know. I didn’t even mean to tell him, but… I did.”

“Have you written to him?”

Harry shook his head.

“Why not?”

Harry shrugged again.

“Has he written you?”

Harry nodded.

“What did he say?”

Harry shrugged.

“You haven’t read them.” Hermione sighed. “Why not? What are you afraid of?”

“What if he doesn’t say it back?” Harry whispered.

“I had no idea you were that stupid.” Harry looked up sharply. Hermione was smiling and he relaxed slightly. “Of course he loves you. He’s loved you since you were born.” Hermione stood and smoothed her robe and skirt. “Now, come on. You can read his letters and I’ll help you write an apology.”

Hermione stepped out of the niche, but Harry stood and pulled her back into the shadows. “I wonder if you… can you help me with something?”

Hermione frowned. “What is it?”

Harry blushed. “Well, you know, I-I don’t…. You know I’ve never done anything before, except for a few kisses with Cho and Remus. Hermione, I don’t know what to do.”

“What are you talking about?”

Harry rubbed his scar irritably. “I mean… what do I do?”

“You mean….” Hermione waved a hand and Harry nodded frantically. “Well how should I know?”

“Haven’t you and Ron….”

“It’s a little different, Harry,” Hermione replied dryly. “I’m sure Remus knows what to do.” Hermione patted his arm and turned to walk away.

Harry grabbed her arm and tugged her back again.“I don’t want to look like an idiot, Hermione. I’m sure I can figure it out, but as you so kindly point out, quite often, I’m just a stupid boy. I don’t want Remus to…. I want to make him…happy. I don’t want to just fumble around or lie there while Remus….” Harry broke off and blushed. “What do you and Ron do?”

“Harry! I’m not going to kiss and tell.”

“Haven’t you two….” Harry stopped awkwardly and stepped away as Hermione frowned and braced her hands on her hips.

“That is none of your business, Harry Potter. And I am not going to tell you anything. And you had better not ask Ron.”

“Alright, I’m sorry.” Harry bit his lip and glanced out into the dimly lit hall. “Help me.”

Hermione patted his back and led him along the hall toward Gryffindor Tower. “Alright. I’m not going to look for any books in the library here, but I’ll write Mum and see if she can send me a book or something.”

“Hermione! I don’t want your Mum and Dad knowing….”

“Oh, come on, Harry. Does it really matter?”

Harry sighed and wrapped an arm around Hermione’s shoulders, smiling as she wrapped her own around his waist. “Fine, but just don’t say it’s me.”

Hermione laughed and leaned into his side for a moment. “I won’t, but I’m sure she’ll be able to figure it out.”

“Figuring it out and hearing it from your daughter….” Harry stopped walking abruptly and frowned into another dark corner.

“Harry…?” Hermione asked and followed Harry’s gaze. “Is that...? Neville Longbottom! Ginny Weasley! Get out here this instant!”

Harry stepped back and the two figures in the shadows sprang apart. Ginny walked toward Hermione, glaring; Neville hovered uncertainly in the shadows.

“What were you two doing?” Harry stared at her incredulously. Hermione waved her hands. “Never mind that. How long has this been going on?”

Ginny crossed her arms and continued glaring. “Since last spring. It’s none of your business, Hermione.”

Hermione narrowed her eyes and turned her gaze to Neville. “Get out here, Neville.”

Neville shuffled forward and began casting desperate glances at Harry. Harry shrugged.

“Well?!”

“Um, what was the question again?”

Hermione sighed and crossed her arms. “Does Ron have any idea?”

Neville choked and started coughing. “I hope not!”

Ginny glared briefly at Neville before turning back to Hermione. “No, he doesn’t. And he had better not find out from you.”

“Why are you keeping this a secret?” Hermione asked.

“Are you kidding me?” Ginny asked. “With the way he keeps attacking people who look at Harry the wrong way, do you have any idea what he would do if he knew that I was snogging Neville?”

Hermione blinked and relaxed her stance. “Good point.” She turned to Neville. “What are your intentions?”

Neville squirmed as three pairs of eyes turned on him. “Um. Well, I-I don’t…it’s, um, you know…. I really like Ginny, and I guess…. Um, well, we really haven’t, um, talked about anything. Yet.” He added quickly at Ginny’s glare.

Hermione crossed her arms. “I’m not going to say anything to Ron about this, but you had better tell him soon.”

“It’s none of your business, Hermione. And it’s none of Ron’s either,” Ginny said bitterly. Neville shifted uncomfortably.

“If you don’t tell him soon, I will,” Hermione warned.

“You have no say. It’s not anyone’s business but mine and Neville’s.”

“Ginny Weasley, if you don’t….”

“Um, can I make a suggestion?” Harry interrupted before it could spiral into a full-blown shouting match. “Ginny, you know how Ron is. He only wants to make sure you’re safe and happy.” Ginny turned to glare at Harry and opened her mouth, but Harry hurried on before she could say anything. “I know it’s none of his business, but if he finds out that you’ve kept it from him, it’ll only make him angry and suspicious. I don’t think you should just walk up to him and tell him.” Harry threw a warning look at Hermione when she turned to him. “But you do need to let him know. I think it would be best if you and Neville just dropped hints: holding hands in the corridors between classes, sitting together in the Common Room and at meals. Just little things. And then he’ll ask and you can tell him.”

Neville smiled and wilted with relief. Hermione and Ginny stared at him before glaring at each other one last time and turning to walk away. Neville and Harry watched them.

“Thanks, Harry.”

“No problem, Neville. But you better be very nice to Ginny. The Wealsey’s are a really close family and Ginny has a lot of brothers.”

Neville grimaced and they began slowly following the girls. “I know.”

“How do you feel about Ginny?”

Neville grinned and shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, I never really thought much about her, even after I went to the Yule Ball with her during fourth year. But she’s always been there, and she’s been a great friend. We used to talk a bit, in the library and in the Common Room. And then last year she was dating that Ravenclaw, and I hated it. I mean I really hated seeing them together. And then the end of last year, well, I don’t even know what happened, really. I just want to be with her all the time. I’m so happy when I’m with her or thinking about her and when we’re apart I can’t wait till we’re together again.”

Harry smiled and clapped Neville on the back. “My friend, you’re doomed.”

Neville and Harry laughed, but came to an abrupt stop when they turned to corner to Gryffindor tower. McGonagall stood blocking the way. “Potter, the Headmaster would like a word with you.”

Neville and Harry exchanged a glance before Neville smiled timidly at McGonagall and brushed past her to the portrait. Harry grimaced as McGonagall placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing painfully as she guided him toward the stone gargoyle. Her grip didn’t let up until she whispered the password and pushed him forward slightly. Harry turned to stare at her and frowned at the glare she sent his way, but she didn’t ride the staircase with him. Harry’s frown deepened when he was let into Dumbledore’s office and saw Snape glowering in his direction from beside the Headmaster’s desk. Dumbledore looked concerned and paid little attention to Snape.

“Mr. Potter.” Dumbledore tried to smile “Please sit down.” Harry settled into a chair in front of Dumbledore’s desk and looked at Snape. Snape stared at him a moment before turning away to glare out the window. “A very serious situation has just come to my attention. I was quite surprised last term when Professor McGonagall informed me that she had run into you after you claimed that you had been meeting with Professor Snape. I questioned Professor Snape and he refused to provide any information beyond the fact that you were meeting regularly.” Dumbledore smiled sadly. “I am ashamed to admit that I undertook some questionable action after he refused to give me any further information. I placed a surveillance charm on Professor Snape’s office, without his knowledge.” Harry noticed that Snape’s fists clenched so tight his knuckles turned white. “I was not happy to discover the types of spells that were being cast in his office this evening.” Dumbledore began tidying the papers scattered across his desk. “To that end, Mr. Potter, you have been placed on probation.”

Harry frowned. “What does that mean?”

“It means, Mr. Potter,” Snape’s waspish voice cut into the uncomfortable atmosphere, “that Headmaster Dumbledore,” Snape sneered, “is displeased with us. Your every action will be scrutinized and if he, or any other member of the faculty, decides that you have acted in an inappropriate manner, you will be expelled.”

“Expelled?” Harry exclaimed. “But I’ve only got five months left until I take the NEWTs.”

“Then I suggest that you behave, Mr. Potter,” Dumbledore said.

“I haven’t done anything wrong! Professor Snape agreed to give me additional training --”

“In Occlumency, Mr. Potter, not in Dark Curses,” Dumbledore interrupted.

“They weren’t dark,” Harry protested.

“I disagree. Cease arguing with me, Mr. Potter, or you will be expelled right now.” Dumbledore glared at him.

Harry opened his mouth, but closed it again when he saw Snape shaking his head slowly behind Dumbledore.

“Your Hogsmeade privileges have been revoked as well.” Dumbledore continued, missing the silent interaction between Snape and Dumbledore. “You are to be in your dormitory every evening by eight o’clock. Professor McGonagall will be checking to make sure that you are there.”

“What if I need to use the library?” Harry asked.

Dumbledore arched an eyebrow at him. “I suggest that you conduct whatever research or studying you need to do before eight o’clock. Return to Gryffindor, now, Mr. Potter.”

Harry stood and stared down at Dumbledore a moment. “This isn’t fair, sir. I haven’t done anything wrong.”

Dumbledore looked at Harry calmly. “I am Headmaster at this school, Mr. Potter. If I determine that you have done something wrong, then you have.”

Harry stared sadly at Dumbledore for a moment before nodding and turning to the door. McGonagall was waiting for him outside of the gargoyle. She began leading him back to Gryffindor tower, the painful grip on his shoulder returning.

“I trust that Headmaster Dumbledore has explained everything sufficiently to you, Mr. Potter.”

Harry bit his tongue to keep the acerbic comment that he wanted to say from erupting and simply nodded.

“Very well. I will not be checking Gryffindor personally every evening, but I will be monitoring your location after eight o’clock.”

“Yes ma’am,” Harry mumbled.

“I assume that I need not tell you how disappointed I am in you, Potter. I expected better of you,” McGongall said.

Harry nodded and didn’t say anything until he gave the password to the Pink Lady. He felt McGonagall glaring at him until the portrait closed behind him. Ron, Hermione, Neville and Ginny converged upon him as soon as he entered. Harry shook his head and led the way to a table in the corner.

“What happened, Harry?” Hermione asked.

“I’ve been put on probation,” He answered dully.

Hermione gasped and the others frowned. “Why did they put you on probation?”

“What a minute,” Ron interrupted. “What does that mean?”

“It means that if I put one toe out of line, I’ll be expelled,” Harry answered dully.

“But why? What did they say? Did you talk to Dumbledore?” Hermione asked quickly.

Harry nodded. “Dumbledore’s the one who put me on probation.” Harry glanced around and sighed. “I haven’t told you what I’ve been studying with Snape. He taught me Occlumency and Legilimency last spring, but last term he started teaching me curses and hexes. Advanced stuff that we haven’t learned in Defense Against the Dark Arts. Remember when McGonagall caught me coming back last term?” He waited as Ron and Hermione nodded; Ginny and Neville just looked on. “McGonagall went to Dumbledore, I guess. Dumbledore asked Snape and Snape didn’t say anything. He was there tonight. I don’t know what Dumbledore said to him. Anyway, Dumbledore put a surveillance charm on Snape’s office and found out what spells he’s been teaching me tonight.”

“Harry,” Hermione frowned. “Surveillance charms have to go through the ministry. It’s illegal to place one without permission. You could find out --”

“Hermione, NEWTs are in five months,” Harry interrupted. “I’m not going to be expelled just before I take my NEWTs.”

“So you’re not going to do anything?” Ron asked.

Harry shook his head.

“You can’t let them get away with this, Harry.” Everyone looked at Neville in surprise and he squirmed slightly under the attention. “You have to do something.”

“I don’t have to do anything, Neville,” Harry said.

“Harry --” Hermione began

“Just drop it!” Harry interrupted. “If anything happens they can say I violated my probation and toss me out. I’m not going to let them do that. The only way I can win is to do well in class and pass my NEWTs.”

“Oh, Harry. I’m so sorry this has happened,” Hermione said softly.

“I’ll let everyone know they’re not to act up in class anymore. They could blame anything on you,” Ron said.

Neville nodded. “I’ll help.”

Harry smiled sadly. “Thanks, guys.”

“You have to tell Remus,” Hermione said. “Write a letter and I’ll take it to the Owlry in the morning. I won’t use Hedwig, just in case.”

“Thanks.”

“I’ll get a quill and parchment.” Hermione stood and went upstairs.

“I’ll go start telling the others,” Neville said.

“I’ll go with you.” Ginny said and walked away with Neville.

Harry rested his forehead on his folded arms.

“Are you sure you don’t want to try and fight this?”

“I can’t, Ron.” Harry’s voice was muffled in his arms. “I just can’t. They were dark curses, and I knew it. So did Snape.” Harry lifted his head and sighed. “I need to learn so I can keep Remus safe. I asked Snape last spring to help me because I needed to know how to defend myself and Remus. I hate to think what’s happened to Snape because of this.”

“Wait a minute. This is Snape we’re talking about, right? The greasy git? The irritating prick? That Snape?”

Harry smiled. “He’s been really great, Ron. I mean, it was a bumpy start, but last term, and even the end of term last summer, he’s been great. He’s really taught me a lot.” Harry rubbed his hand over his face. “I just hope he’s alright. I hope nothing has happened to him.”

Ron stared at him, his eyes wide and his mouth open slightly. “Well,” Ron’s voice was two octaves higher than normal and he cleared his throat. “Well, you can ask him after class tomorrow.”

Harry nodded and looked up as Hermione returned.

“Alright. Just tell him what happened in Dumbledore’s office, and I’ll help with the apology and stuff.”

“Apology?” Ron asked. “What are you apologizing for?”

“For being a stupid boy,” Hermione answered before Harry could. “You know all about that.”

Ron froze and Harry looked between his friends cautiously.

“I said I --” Ron began.

“I know,” Hermione said shortly. “I heard you the first twenty times. I don’t need to hear it again.”

“Then why do you keep bringing it up?” Ron sat back and crossed his arms.

Hermione grimaced. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

Ron mumbled under his breath and pulled his charms essay out of his bag.

“Do I even want to know what that was about?” Harry asked.

“No.” Hermione said. “Start on your letter.”

Harry glanced between them again before he turned his attention to his letter to Remus.

****  
Harry watched bemusedly each class period as his peers became model students, in his classes anyway. He couldn’t say for sure what when on in classes he wasn’t in, but judging by the disgruntled looks some of the teachers cast around the Great Hall, pranks were on the rise in most classes, though nothing to the extent they were during fifth year after Dumbledore had fled Hogwarts. Harry had begun triple checking each homework assignment and then passing it on to Hermione to be checked again. He sat politely in class, and never even raised an eyebrow when McGonagall overlooked his raised hand each time. Professor Sprout had also taken to ignoring him again, though he did notice they watched him closely. Hagrid smiled at him awkwardly, and Harry was certain that he wanted to speak to Harry outside of class, but couldn’t quite work up the courage to approach Harry. He also made certain that he was in the Common Room every evening by 7:30. If he needed anything from the library, he asked Ron or Hermione and they were always willing to continue his research and bring him any books they thought might help. He had tried to speak to Snape after class the first week after he had been put on probation, but Snape had shook his head and sent him on his way, leading Harry to believe that Snape’s classrooms and office were still under surveillance by Dumbledore. Harry bristled at the unfair treatment Snape was receiving, but realized there was nothing he could do about it.

Remus hadn’t written back and Harry worried that he would try something. He sent several short letters asking for a response and apologizing for ignoring him for so long at the beginning of term. It was nearly March before he heard back from Remus. With some relief he read that Remus had been researching school rules for possible loopholes or cases where students brought accusations of unfair prejudice by the Headmaster or professors, but he hadn’t found anything. Harry’s hands shook as he read that Remus didn’t blame him for his actions, but he did want to meet Harry at the Shrieking Shack the next Hogsmeade weekend. Harry smiled sadly and laid the letter in his lap after he had finished.

“What did he say?” Harry looked up and found Hermione smiling at him gently from across the table.

Harry smiled back. “He said he’s been looking for some way to get me off probation, or some action we could bring against the school. He didn’t find anything.”

“What else did he say?”

“He said that he understood and it was alright. About not writing to him for so long. But he wants to meet me next Hogsmeade weekend.”

Hermione sighed. “I’m sorry, Harry.”

Harry swallowed and shrugged. “It’s alright. I’ll just tell him not to bother.”

Hermione shifted to the chair right next to him. “Well, I got this from my mum.” She slipped a wrapped parcel to his lap. “I looked at it, and, well, I think it’ll help you.” Hermione blushed and glanced away.

Harry frowned and opened the wrapper and understood why Hermione was blushing. Harry felt his face burn and glanced at Hermione who smiled timidly.

“Your mum sent this?” Hermione nodded. Harry flipped through the book and his blush intensified. “Hermione, this is a…” Harry glanced around and whispered, “This is a gay sex manual.”

“I know, Harry.”

“I can’t…it’s just…Hermione….”

“What do you expect me to do, sit in with you and Remus and tell you what to do? Just read it,” Hermione hissed.

Harry stuffed the manual into his bag as Ron came up and dumped a pile of books onto the table.

“I finished what you started, and brought a few books back that should help with your potions assignment. I don’t know why you asked me since I’m not even in that class.”

Harry glanced at Hermione. “I asked Hermione.”

“Yeah, well, she dumped it on me for some reason. I didn’t even know what I was looking for but I brought back what I found. You’re on your own now, mate.”

Harry smiled. “Thanks, Ron.” Harry pulled some books to him but froze when he saw Neville and Ginny walking in, holding hands. He quickly turned his attention to a large tome and hoped that Ron hadn’t followed his gaze. Hermione did the same, but it was too late. Ron stood abruptly, his chair crashing to the floor. Hermione and Harry stood as well and watched as Ron glared at Neville, but didn’t move toward him. Neville and Ginny settled on a couch across the room and began working on homework. Ron shook himself and walked over, trying to look casual. Harry and Hermione followed cautiously.

“What’s going on, Neville?” Harry grimaced when Ron bit out Neville’s name.

Neville looked up and smiled nervously. “Hi, Ron. Ginny and I were just working together on a Herbology project she’s doing this term. I did something similar last spring and thought I’d give her a hand.”

Ron stood over Neville and crossed his arms over his chest. “Oh really. And I suppose that you just have to hold hands in order to do the project properly?”

“Back off, Ron. It’s none of your business.” Ginny glared at Ron and shifted closer to Neville, laying a hand on his knee. Harry groaned inwardly.

Ron stepped forward and yanked Neville to his feet. “What are you doing to my sister, Longbottom?”

Harry stepped forward and pulled Ron’s hands away from Neville’s collar.

Ginny jumped to her feet. “It’s none of your business, Ronald Weasley. I don’t butt in on yours and Hermione’s relationship.”

Harry strengthened his hold on Ron just in time to keep him from lurching toward Neville again. “You had better leave my sister alone, Longbottom.”

“I’m not a child, Ron! You can’t tell me who I can and cannot see!” Ginny screeched.

Harry struggled to pull Ron away and cast a desperate glance toward Dean who stood nearby. Dean nodded and helped Harry pull Ron away. Harry grimaced as Ron and Ginny continued to shout at each other. Hermione stood near Neville and patted his arm while they whispered to each other.

“What is going on in here?”

Harry groaned when McGonagall’s voice ran clearly through the Common Room. Ron shrugged Dean and Harry’s hands off him and turned to McGonagall.

“Nothing, Professor. Just a family fight.” Ron said calmly, though his face was still red and he panted slightly.

“Potter, what are you doing?”

Harry grimaced, but denials about Harry’s involvement came from every corner of the Common Room before he could open his mouth.

“Harry was just trying to get Ron to calm down, Professor McGonagall.” Hermione stepped forward and stood slightly in front of Harry. “He didn’t have anything to do with any of this.”

“Fighting is not allowed, Mr. Weasley, Ms. Weasley. Fifteen points from Gryffindor. I don’t want to hear another peep from this tower until morning.”

McGonagall glared at Harry before turning and leaving the tower. Harry stared after her and went back to his table. Ron, Hermione and Ginny followed.

“I’m sorry, Harry. I forgot she was going to check up on you.”

Harry shrugged Ron’s apology aside.

“I’m sorry too, Harry,” Ginny said softly. “She had no reason to turn on you like that.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s not your fault. Any of you.” Harry said quickly and began thumbing through a book.

“Ron, I should have told you sooner.” Harry glanced up cautiously at Ginny’s quiet voice. “I’ve been dating Neville for a while now.”

Ron’s fists clenched tightly on the table. He took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay.”

“You have to know that he would never hurt me. He’s really great, and helps with some of my assignments and, um….” Ginny smiled and glanced at Hermione.

Ron nodded again. “That’s fine.”

Ginny stared at Ron. “Are you okay?”

“’Course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?” Ron asked.

“Um, alright. Well. I have to go, um, finish that essay.”

Ron nodded and watched Ginny walk back to Neville. Ginny sat beside him and talked quietly to him. Neville glanced over, swallowed and walked slowly toward their table. Hermione and Harry glanced anxiously at Ron.

“Ron, I’m sorry we didn’t tell you sooner,” Neville began hesitantly. “You have to know that I’d never hurt Ginny. I, well, I really like her.”

Ron nodded. “That’s fine, Neville.”

“Is there, um, is there anything else you want to say?” Neville thrust his hands into his pocket.

Ron smiled. “No.”

Neville glanced at Hermione. “Okay.” He smiled awkwardly and stepped back before turning and going back to Ginny. Harry grinned as he watched Ron watch Neville and Ginny through narrowed eyes.

Hermione leaned toward him, pecked him on the cheek and put her arms around him. “I’m so proud of you, Ron. Neville is a great guy, you know. He’ll be really good for Ginny.”

Ron nodded once, quickly and pulled his defense essay from his bag. Hermione whispered in his ear and he grinned before turning suddenly and kissing Hermione on the lips. Harry flushed and looked away as the kiss deepened slightly. He heard them pull apart and Hermione cleared her throat.

“Sorry, Harry,” Ron said lightly.

Harry shrugged. “No reason to apologize.” He felt Ron and Hermione staring at him, but he ignored them and continued working on his essay. They had finally turned to their own homework and Harry relaxed slightly. “Hermione, could you do something for me?”

“Of course, Harry. What is it?”

“I haven’t been able to talk to Snape about Dumbledore,” Harry continued softly. “Would you ask him after class if he’s okay? Try and make sure that he’s not being harassed or anything? Tell him you’re asking for me.”

Hermione frowned. “I’ll ask, Harry, but why can’t you ask him yourself?”

“He won’t let me. Every time I stay after and try and talk to him, he shakes his head and tells me to get out. I think he’s still being watched. It’s like he’s afraid to be seen talking to me.”

“I can’t believe that Dumbledore would treat anyone that way,” Ron said. “Especially with the way he dotes on Snape. And you, for that matter.”

“He’s changed, obviously,” Harry said shortly.

Ron snorted. “I’ll say he’s changed. Doesn’t make any sense, though.”

“Not everything has to make sense, Ron,” Hermione said.

Harry sighed and pushed his potions essay away, pulling Remus’ letter back toward him.

“I can’t believe they’re not even letting you go to Hogsmeade,” Ron continued. “They didn’t even stop you going when You-Know-Who was after you.”

Hermione frowned. “I can’t imagine what they’re afraid of.”

“Hey, anything you want us to bring you back this weekend?” Ron asked.

“Remus.”

Ron smiled. “Don’t think he’ll fit in my pocket, mate.”

Hermione smiled sadly. “Is there anything else you need, Harry?”

Harry shook his head. “All I need is Remus.”


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione figures things out.

Term picked up speed as March roared in. There was one last pitiful snow fall, followed by bitter cold, but by Easter Holidays, the cold was gone and there were more sunny days than there were rainy. Harry was still being scrutinized, and he wondered bitterly if he was going to be off probation before NEWTs. Hermione offered to approach McGonagall and ask, but Harry shook his head, claiming he didn’t want her to get into trouble. Harry still wondered about Snape. Hermione had asked, as she promised, but Snape had only barked at her to leave his classroom and had refused to speak to Neville, Ron, or Ginny as well. Harry finally asked Dobby to take a note to Snape, but had yet to hear back from him and privately doubted that he would. Of all of his professors, Snape was still the only one that treated him as he had before. Harry found it odd that his least favorite class for six years was now the one that he was most comfortable in. His homework was still scrutinized by Hermione, and Harry grinned every time an assignment was handed back with an O or an A scribbled on it.

Harry longed to confront Dumbledore and ask him why he was being treated this way. He caught Dumbledore’s gaze on him several times during meals, and each time Harry was struck by the sadness that seemed to linger on his face, even after he had turned away. He also couldn’t help but notice that Snape and Dumbledore seemed to be spending a great deal of time together. They sat beside each other at every meal, and Harry had seen them a few times walking close to each other across Hogwart’s grounds.

Hermione and Ron seemed happier than ever and could often be seen sitting together in a corner of the Common Room, sometimes talking quietly to each other, at other times simply sitting side by side, leaning toward each other. Harry’s heart twisted each time he saw them that close. He wasn’t jealous of their relationship, and was happy that they seemed to be fighting less. But what Harry wanted was to be with Remus the same way. He hadn’t seen Remus in months and letters weren’t enough. Harry studied the sex manual and couldn’t wait to be alone with Remus, his fantasies fueled by entries in the manual. But he knew what he wanted more than anything was to simply be with him.

“You’re doing it again, Harry.”

Harry blinked and looked at Hermione. “What?”

“You’re not studying. You’re just staring into space.” Hermione looked up from the book she was reading.

Harry flushed. “Sorry. I’m trying.”

Hermione smiled. “Thinking of Remus, again?”

Harry sighed and set his own book aside. “He’s nearly all I can think about. And seeing you and Ron don’t help.”

Hermione looked startled. “I didn’t realize that we made you uncomfortable.”

Harry took Hermione’s hand and squeezed it gently. “You don’t. But I see you two, just being with each other, and I miss Remus so much that my chest hurts.”

Hermione squeezed Harry’s hand in return. “Not too long now. Only five weeks until NEWTs.”

Harry smiled and released Hermione’s hand. “I read that book you gave me.”

Hermione blushed. “How was it?”

Harry laughed. “Very insightful. I’m quite anxious to try some of what I learned.”

Hermione giggled. “I’m glad I could help.” She gazed solemnly at Harry. “Have you heard from Snape yet?”

Harry shook his head. “I don’t think I’m going to. Something weird is going on with him and Dumbledore.”

Hermione shrugged. “He could still be watching Snape.”

“I don’t know. They spend a lot of time together, you know.”

“I guess, but Dumbledore has always trusted Snape. Even when it didn’t make sense. I just can’t understand why teaching you curses….” Hermione broke off suddenly and checked her watch. “I’ll be right back.” Harry watched as Hermione flew to the portrait hole. She had only been gone a few minutes when the Quidditch team returned from practice. Ron walked straight to Harry.

“Where’s Hermione?”

Harry shrugged. “I don’t know. We were talking and then she raced out of here.”

“What did you say to her?” Ron glowered.

Harry grinned. “Nothing much. Just that she was smart and beautiful and could do a lot better than you. She might have gone to find Finch-Fletchly. They’ve been flirting a bit you know, in Potions.”

“What! If that half-witted turnip so much as touches….” Ron shut up and stared at Harry, who was laughing. “You bastard. Just you wait.” He collapsed into a chair near Harry. “One of these days some smart handsome man is going to catch Remus’ eye and then you’ll be out on your bum.”

Harry stopped laughing. “Don’t ever say anything like that again.”

“Then you just leave Hermione alone,” Ron returned.

“You two will never grow up, will you?” Hermione walked in and slapped Ron lightly on the back of his head as she passed. “I think I might know what’s going on, Harry.”

Ron and Harry glared at each other a few seconds more before turning to Hermione.

“You’ve always been incredibly powerful, Harry. Even before you came to Hogwarts. And you killed You-Know-Who, which took a lot of physical strength as well as magical.” Hermione thumbed through a small book she had brought back with her until she came to a certain page. “I think that your association with Remus has them scared.”

“What? What’s Remus got to do with anything?” Harry asked.

Hermione marked a place and looked up. “You were bonded to him as a baby, Harry. You two share a link that is rarely seen and not understood at all except by those who share a similar bond. I know that Remus is a wonderful person, and is in no way dark, but he is a werewolf and the curse infected him as a child and shaped his early years. Remus’ curse affected you as a child and shaped your early years as well. Add in your weird association with Voldemort, and it explains a lot.”

“No. It doesn’t,” Ron said, looking as blank as Harry.

“They think you’re going to become the next Dark Lord, Harry,” Hermione explained.

Ron stared a moment before he started laughing. “Harry, the next Dark Lord?” Ron collapsed against the table, laughing hysterically.

Harry frowned. “That doesn’t make sense, Hermione.”

“Oh, Harry, I know it’s foolish,” Hermione continued. “And so do McGonagall and Dumbledore, on some level. But Dumbledore was here when You-Know-Who was here, he saw a perfectly normal boy, smart and well liked. And then he became this horrible person that everyone was afraid of. And you have been intimately associated with You-Know-Who and a dark creature.”

“There’s nothing dark about Remus,” Harry said angrily.

Hermione sighed. “I know there’s not, Harry. And so do they. But they’re running scared. You were learning curses from a Death Eater. You’re bonded to a werewolf. You defeated the last Dark Lord, and you’re very powerful, Harry, you always have been. It’s the only explanation.”

“Hey, Harry,” Ron gasped, “Promise that I can be your second in command?” Ron snorted and started laughing again.

“It’s not funny, Ron.” Hermione handed the book she had brought back with her over to Harry. “Read this and tell me what you think.”

Harry took the book and began reading.

 _By far the most psychologically fascinating dark creature is the werewolf. Because it is human all but one day out of the month, the werewolf possesses some human emotions, but because it is bound to the cycles of the moon and turns into a ferocious creature at the pull of the moon, the werewolf’s emotions are formed and beholden to the emotions of the dark creature. At all times, the human werewolf feels the pull of the emotions of the dark creature and often finds it difficult to resist the allure of the dark magic within itself. Based on the age of the infection, there are varying degrees of darkness in the werewolf. A person bitten at a young age will be consumed by the darkness of the wolf emotions by middle age, unable to develop the strength of character necessary to allow their human emotions equal claim within their psyche; a person bitten in mid-life may be able to resist the pull of the darkness and retain nearly all innately human characteristics its entire life; it is rare that a person bitten after middle age will survive the attack at all, though there have been a few instances whereby a wizard nearing the end of their life have been infected and been able to completely control the dark force from the infection, save for the time of the full moon when the wolf is able to seize control. The emotions of the wolf prey on the human emotions; the longer the subject is infected, the darker the emotions and the magic that the werewolf uses. Those who are found in a werewolf’s company for any length of time will find their emotions and magic subject to the dark emotions and dark magic of the werewolf. Great care must be taken when interacting with werewolves; a wizard must be magically strong and emotionally stable in order to prevent their own magic and emotions to be overridden by the dark power in the werewolf. A particularly powerful dark wizard may be able to gain the trust of the werewolf and to use the werewolf to its own end, but the instances whereby a werewolf can be controlled are very unlikely. Werewolves can never completely be controlled, even by the most powerful of wizards, but the darkness in the werewolf will call to the darkness in other dark creatures and in dark wizards. It is for this reason that werewolves have been shunned by society and should continue to be shunned._

Even before Harry finished the short passage Hermione had marked, his hands were shaking and a red glow appeared in his vision. He tossed the book aside and stood quickly, his fists clenched. He moved toward the portrait hole, but Ron grabbed him before he could get too far. Harry reached for his wand, but Hermione grabbed his hand before he could hex Ron.

“Get away from me,” Harry spoke through clenched teeth, inwardly cursing his shaking voice.

“Harry, I know it’s horrible, but you have to calm down. You can’t do anything now,” Hermione spoke quickly and quietly in his ear.

“They have no right… no idea….” Harry tried to push Ron and Hermione away again, but Ron tightened his grip.

“Harry, please, you have to calm down,” Hermione whispered urgently. “You can’t do anything right now, not while you’re so upset. I’m sorry. I should never have shown you what I found. Please, please, calm down.” Hermione’s voice trembled, sounding near tears.

Harry closed his eyes and leaned weakly against Ron for a moment before standing. Ron loosened his grip, but kept one hand on Harry’s shoulder and watched him carefully.

“That’s utter shit,” Harry said.

“I know, Harry. Please sit down.” Hermione bit her lip and straightened Harry’s overturned chair.

Harry nodded and sat between his friends again. Hermione wordlessly handed Ron the book. He read it quickly, his brow furrowing in thought. Harry sat quietly, his fists clenched, plotting how to get back at Dumbledore and McGonagall and all of the other people who didn’t understand a thing about Harry or Remus. Ron and Hermione exchanged worried looks as Harry sat quietly between them.

“Harry, are you okay?” Ron asked carefully.

Harry didn’t respond.

“Harry, please, I’m sorry. I should never have showed you,” Hermione said softly.

“Harry, say something,” Ron said.

Hermione frowned and touched Harry’s shoulder. Harry blinked and looked at her.

“Harry, are you alright?”

Harry smiled tightly. “Of course, I am, Hermione. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Look, Harry, I don’t like what it says either.” Ron leaned forward and caught Harry’s attention. “And Hermione may be wrong about this. It may not be this. It could be that other thing, you know?”

“It doesn’t matter why,” Harry said shaking his head. “Not anymore. Five weeks from now it won’t matter what these people think. I won’t have to look at them anymore and they can sit quivering in this castle.”

Ron and Hermione exchanged another look. “What do you mean?” Ron asked.

A cold smile stretched across Harry’s face, and Ron and Hermione shivered to see it. “I mean that if they want to be afraid of me and Remus, for whatever reason, then I’ll let them. In five weeks there is nothing they can do or say to either of us.”

“Harry, don’t do anything rash,” Hermione said.

Harry turned to her and a bit of the familiar grin appeared through the cold smile. “Don’t worry, Hermione. I’m not going to do a damn thing to any of them. Not unless they force me to.”

****  
Ron and Hermione kept a close eye on Harry through the following week, but Harry was true to his word and continued to hand in his homework with a smile and ignore the hostile attitude that some of the staff displayed toward him. When Harry received two owls at breakfast the last Hogsmeade weekend of the term, they watched silently and carefully. The first they knew was from Remus, based on the smile that flitted across his face when he removed the letter. When Harry removed the second, they tensed as a frown removed every trace of the smile.

“Anything wrong, Harry?” Ron asked with forced cheerfulness.

Harry wordlessly handed the small note to Ron. Hermione leaned over his shoulder and read the note as well.

“Well, I think you should go. It’s been obvious for a month that he’s wanted to talk to you but hasn’t had the courage to approach you directly,” Hermione stated.

Ron frowned. “I don’t know. If Harry’s caught out of bounds, they could toss him out on his ear.” Ron handed the note back. “Maybe you should just send a note back saying you can’t meet.”

“Hagrid’s hut is hardly out of bounds,” Hermione said primly.

“They could change the rules just as quick as they wanted to, Hermione,” Ron said.

“He can walk around the grounds anytime he likes, you know.” Hermione turned to Harry. “We can go with you, if you want. We don’t have to go to Hogsmeade today.”

Ron’s eyes widened comically and he turned desperately to Hermione. Hermione elbowed him in the side and he turned back to Harry. “Yeah, sure, we can go with you if you want.”

Harry grinned. “No, that’s okay. I’ll go down this afternoon and you guys can go ahead to Hogsmeade. Have a good time this afternoon.” Harry rose and wandered off to Gryffindor tower with his letter from Remus. He sat quietly in a corner armchair of the common room, ignoring the younger students who weren’t allowed to go to Hogsmeade, and smiling absently at the older students who were racing for their cloaks and back down to the entrance hall to meet their friends. He closed his eyes and held the letter from Remus, recalling the sound of his voice and the way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled. When he had a clear picture of Remus in his mind, he opened the letter and imagined he could see Remus as he wrote it. There really wasn’t anything personal in the letter, there never was. Harry never wrote anything personal, either but he imagined all of the words that Remus wanted to say but couldn’t, preferring to wait until they were together again. Harry smiled and rolled the letter up again before sitting back in his chair and glancing around the Common Room. The younger students were gathered on the other side of the room, leaving the few upper classman who chose to remain at Hogwarts this weekend alone. Harry glanced at Hagrid’s note and frowned. Harry had noticed the looks that Hagrid had sent his way during class. He missed Hagrid, but Hagrid’s slight had cut deeper than the others. Hagrid had always been the one he could count on to never judge him, to support him and offer a small bit of comfort from the expectations and judgment he had always received from others.

Harry sighed and rubbed his eyes irritably with one hand. Harry clutched his letters in his hand and rose to his feet, walking slowly up the stairs to the dormitory. He stowed Remus’ letter safely with the others in his trunk and grabbed his cane before he closed the lid and locked it. He hadn’t had to use his cane since his sessions with Snape were stopped, but he wanted to carry it with him for some reason. He shrugged and gripped the handle firmly before going down to Hagrid’s hut.

Hagrid was waiting on the stoop when Harry came down, leaning lightly on his cane. Hagrid smiled awkwardly as he stood; Harry nodded politely.

“Can yeh come in fer a cuppa?” Hagrid asked cautiously.

Harry smiled. “Sure, Hagrid.”

Harry patted Fang’s head when he rested it on Harry’s knee while Hagrid made the tea. Hagrid’s movements were clumsier than Harry could remember ever seeing them. Hagrid sat across from him and stared around the hut. Harry sighed.

“How have you been?”

Hagrid started slightly. “Oh, fine, fine.”

“How are classes this term?”

Hagrid nodded. “Fine.”

Harry sat and sipped his tea and waited for Hagrid to say something else. Several minutes passed before Harry had had enough. “Hagrid, is there a reason I’m here?”

Hagrid smiled tightly. “Well, yeh see….”

“I asked Hagrid if he would invite you here, Potter.”

Harry turned quickly and watched Snape enter Hagrid’s hut.

Hagrid stood. “Well, I’ll jus’ leave yeh two alone, then”

“I’d prefer you stay, Hagrid.” Snape and Hagrid stared at each other, but Hagrid finally sat down again.

“What’s this about, Professor?”

Snape sat at the end of the table and folded his arms over his chest. “I thought I might address your concerns over my welfare, Potter.”

Harry flushed lightly and stared into his tea mug. “I’m sorry, Professor Snape. I didn’t mean to harass you, and I don’t mean to pry. I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

“It’s quite alright, Potter,” Snape answered silkily. “As you know, Dumbledore was very upset, but mostly with you, oddly enough.”

Harry looked up quickly. “Why me?”

Snape smirked. “Can you honestly sit there and tell me that you have no idea?”

“It’s because of Remus,” Harry bit out. “I knew that before.”

“Have you discovered anything else?” Snape stared intently at Harry.

Harry stared back at Snape for several minutes before he spoke. “It’s because of that stupid book, isn’t it?”

Snape closed his eyes and nodded once.

“How can they think that?” Harry exclaimed angrily. “Remus worked for Dumbledore; he worked closely with every member of the Order. He’s not and never will be --”

“Calm down, Potter,” Snape interrupted sharply.

Harry clenched his hands on his thighs and panted lightly, only then aware that he had been close to shouting. “I’m sorry. I just find it hard to believe that they would judge Remus based on some stupid book.”

“That stupid book you are referring to is a renowned source for the psychology of traditionally dark creatures,” Snape answered.

“It’s wrong about werewolves,” Harry retorted.

“It may be. But it could also be correct.” Snape smirked at Harry’s glare. “Surely you can see why they are not as – considering – of your feelings as they once were.”

“They’re afraid of me,” Harry said softly.

“Of course they are.”

“Now wait jus’ a minute.” Hagrid spoke for the first time since Snape and Harry had begun talking. “Professor Dumbledore isn’ afraid of anythin’. ‘Specially not Harry, here.”

“Then why have you been avoiding me, Hagrid?” Harry asked angrily. “Why is this the first time all year that you’ve invited me for tea, and only because Professor Snape asked you to? Why have you been ignoring me and treating me like shit?”

Hagrid swallowed heavily. “I haven’t exactly bin ignoring yeh, Harry.”

“Of course, you have, Hagrid,” Snape said softly. “The entire staff has remarked on it. You’ve never treated any student as poorly as you’ve treated Harry, even when they’ve deserved it.”

Hagrid fiddled nervously with his tea cup. “There’s no reason fer anyone to be afraid of Harry.”

Harry opened his mouth but shut it again when Snape touched his arm lightly. “Then explain why you are.”

“Yeh gotta admit, it’s a bit strange that Harry ‘n Remus would be bound all of a sudden.”

“They’ve been bonded since Harry was a baby, Hagrid,” Snape said. “They were bonded when you delivered his Hogwarts letter and when you first befriended him. Nothing has changed since you first met him. Except that now you know.”

Hagrid flushed slightly and shrugged.

Harry stared at Hagrid a moment and frowned as the knot that had been easing in his chest tightened again. He turned to Snape. “What did Dumbledore do to you?”

“Headmaster,” Snape emphasized, “Dumbledore lectured me on the dangers of teaching curses and hexes to students under my care. He warned me that another such indiscretion would be reported to the ministry and that he would keep careful watch over my actions until he felt certain that a similar indiscretion would not happen again.”

“Why couldn’t you just tell me when I asked?”

Snape smiled sadly. “Because you are being watched, Potter. Your recent behavior has reassured them, but you are still being watched by many.”

“I suppose they’ll still be watching me when I leave.”

Snape nodded shortly again.

“What can I do to stop them from watching us?”

Snape smiled, and Harry was certain that he caught a glimpse of something triumphant in Snape’s eyes. “There is nothing you can do to keep them from trying to watch you. But you can prevent them from seeing anything but what you want them to see.” Snape pulled a small roll of paper from his pocket and passed it to Harry. Harry stared at it for a minute before sliding it into his own pocket and caught a brief pleased expression on Snape’s face before it returned to his regular sneer. Snape turned to Hagrid. “I suggest that you consider whether it is Potter who has changed or your perception of him. He is a very powerful wizard and it would be detrimental to your wellbeing to have him on your bad side.” Snape smirked and rose to his feet. “Good day, gentlemen.”

Harry sat silently after Snape left and stared into his half-filled tea mug. Hagrid shifted uncomfortably in his chair and Harry silently sighed when he realized that Hagrid wasn’t going to say anything else to him. “Thank you, Hagrid. I’ll see you in class.” Harry stood, careful to keep his eyes trained on the ground and not force Hagrid to actually look at him. Fang whined fretfully as Harry passed and Harry patted him absently behind the ears.

“Harry.” Harry paused at the door and half turned toward Hagrid. “Good luck with yer NEWTs.”

Harry turned, looked at Hagrid, and smiled. “Thanks, Hagrid.” The knot that had tightened in his chest loosened a bit as he stepped outside.

****  
Harry, Ron and Hermione were revising in front of the fire when Ginny walked up to him and silently handed Harry a book before crossing the room and sitting beside Neville.

“What was that all about?” Ron asked as soon as Harry began thumbing through the book Ginny had given him.

Harry shrugged. “I asked Ginny to get a book for me.”

“We could have gotten it for you,” Ron said tartly.

Harry smiled. “I know. But I think they’d notice if you got this book and they’d know who it was for. Ginny’s a bit more removed, but I know I can trust her.”

Ron smoothed his scroll flat on the table. “Yeah, well, you still could have asked us. What is it anyway?”

“It’s a book that Snape recommended to me.”

Ron and Hermione stared hard at Harry. “When did you talk to Snape?”

Harry swallowed hard. “At Hagrid’s last weekend. Snape asked Hagrid to invite me to tea and then Snape showed up and we talked a little bit and he gave me a slip of paper with this book title on it.”

“So, Hagrid didn’t want to talk to you?” Hermione asked hesitantly.

Harry shook his head. “No. But he stayed and listened when Snape and I talked. And Snape asked him why he was treating me differently.”

“Oh, Harry, I’m sorry. I thought for sure that Hagrid had gotten over this. And then when you didn’t say anything… well, I didn’t know what to think.” Hermione said softly. “Did he say anything else?”

“He wished me luck on my NEWTs.”

“Well that’s something,” Ron said. “Maybe after school he’ll talk to you again. I can’t imagine where he gets off acting that way. He’s half giant for crying out loud.”

“And you stood by him when all that came out. You didn’t care at all,” Hermione said. “Ron and I will go talk to him again and make him--”

Harry shook his head. “Don’t. Don’t talk to him or force him to do anything. You’re right, it shouldn’t matter, and he shouldn’t judge me. Or Remus. But you guys can’t make him talk to me or do anything he doesn’t want to. Just let it go.”

Ron and Hermione fell silent and watched Harry a few moments. “What’s the book about?” Ron nodded at the book in Harry’s hands.

Harry shrugged. “I’m not sure. It looks like it’s about wards and charms that will hide our location.”

“I still don’t see why you couldn’t ask me to get it for you.” Ron muttered as he began thumbing through his transfiguration text. “You can ask me to get potions texts, but you can’t ask me to get other books for you. Oh no. You have to go off and ask my sister.” Ron’s angry muttering broke off abruptly and Harry and Hermione exchanged a smiling glance before following Ron’s gaze. Ron was watching Neville and Ginny through narrowed eyes. Harry rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the book in his hands. “Neville had better leave my sister alone.”

“Ron, you’ve been saying the same thing for a month. Just drop it,” Hermione scolded quietly.

“She’s my sister, Hermione,” Ron protested. “I’m the only one here who can take care of her.”

Harry kept his eyes on his book and listened to Hermione and Ron’s conversation with a slight smile curving his mouth.

“She’s nearly of age, Ron. She can take care of herself.”

“So I’m just supposed to sit back and let Neville touch her?”

“Yes, Ron. I don’t see Ginny struggling to get away from him. Do you?”

“That’s not the point. She’s not old enough to make such an important decision on her own.”

“She’s barely younger than I am, Ron.”

“That’s a good point, Hermione,” Harry broke into the conversation. He shot a quick glance at Hermione before turning back to Ron. “Come to think of it, I’m the closest thing Hermione has to a brother. I don’t think I like the idea of you and her doing anything.”

Ron stared blankly at Harry. “Huh?”

Hermione looked away, biting her lip. “I think maybe you better keep your hands off Hermione,” Harry continued.

“What?” Ron asked blankly.

Harry bit back a grin. “Stay away from Hermione, Weasley.”

“Harry, what’s going on?” Ron asked.

“Could you be any more thick, Ron?” Hermione asked acerbically. “Harry’s trying to look out for me.” She turned to Harry and smiled warmly at him. “I think it’s sweet.”

“Harry, mate, I thought you didn’t care that Hermione and I were seeing each other,” Ron said slowly.

“I was. But I also think you’re pushing her too much. Maybe you should back off and leave her alone for a while.” Harry was staring hard at Ron, trying not to wince as Hermione grabbed his hand under the table and squeezed hard.

“But…but, I mean, Hermione hasn’t said…I didn’t mean….” Ron stuttered.

“Oh stop it.” Harry finally took pity on Ron. “I’m just teasing you because of the way you keep glaring at Ginny and Neville. You’re being ridiculous.”

“But, I mean, she’s my sister,” Ron said lamely.

“And Hermione is one of my best friends. And I was half serious. Don’t push her. And don’t hurt her.” Harry shook his hand slightly. “Will you let go now, Hermione?”

Hermione dropped Harry’s hand. “Sorry, Harry.” She turned to Ron. “He’s right, you know. You’re being silly about Ginny and Neville. They’re very happy and you need to calm down.”

Ron leaned across the table. “He threatened me, Hermione.”

Hermione frowned. “Who did?”

“Harry. Just now. Weren’t you listening?”

Harry chuckled. “I’m sure she heard me just fine, Ron. And the same goes for Hermione. If she hurts you, she’ll have to answer to me.”

Ron relaxed slightly. “Well, okay. But, that was a little weird, Harry.”

“And it’s a little irritating when you keep threatening Neville,” Hermione said. “Just leave them alone, Ron. If anything happens, I’m sure we’ll all hear about it.”

Ron glared at Neville and Hermione one more time before turning back to his notes. “I don’t like it. It’s not right.”

“Ron.” Harry’s voice was dangerously soft and Hermione and Ron stared at him silently.

“Yes, Harry?” Ron asked hesitantly.

“If you don’t shut up about Ginny and Neville, I’m going to hex you.”

Ron swallowed loudly and looked nervously at Hermione who was staring between Ron and Harry with a worried expression on her face. “Alright, Harry.”

Harry continued thumbing through the charms book, but couldn’t hide the pleased smile on his face. Ron and Hermione exchanged a glance and began to see why Dumbledore and the others were worried about what would happen if Harry ever turned to the Dark Side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The text that Harry reads is entirely from my own imagination. There's no book title or author assigned. I actually had a good time writing that passage. ;)


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things come to a head.

The book that Snape had recommended was exactly what Harry needed and as soon as he had thumbed through it, he owled Remus to find out if he had a copy of it. Remus owled back almost immediately and reassured Harry that it had been a part of Sirius’ library and that he had consulted it. Remus and Harry could set the wards as soon as Harry arrived home that summer. Harry’s heart leapt into his throat when he read those words. He really did have a real home and someone to go home to; someone who would be happy to see him. Only two more weeks until he saw Remus again.

NEWTs began next week and Harry was heartily tired of studying for them. Hermione continued to harangue him about revising for them, and Harry tried to study a few hours a day, but he felt as if there was nothing else he could learn, and if there was something he needed to know, he reasoned that he couldn’t possibly learn what he needed to know in a week. Ron and Harry took turns looking studious in order to placate Hermione, but unlike with OWLs, they were much more relaxed. Neville was a nervous wreck and continually asked people why they had let him decide to try and become a soul healer? Seamus could be found spending long hours in the library with Draco Malfoy, though no one was certain if they were actually studying or making out. Harry had caught them snogging once at a table in the back and had backed away slowly and quietly. Malfoy had been true to his word and treated Seamus well, as far as Harry knew, anyway. Dean was often found in the company of a pretty seventh year Ravenclaw girl, though they were actually caught studying instead of snogging. Lavender and Parvati spent most of their time studying in the common room, although they often whispered and giggled to each other more than they studied. Of all of the seventh year Gryffindors, Hermione spent the most time studying, but even she was more relaxed than during OWL year. She and Ron would disappear for long study breaks and always came back smiling and only slightly disheveled; Hermione would immediately return to her books while Ron would usually try and find someone to play a quick game of chess with him.

Harry sighed as he checked his watch. Ron and Hermione sat across from him in the library. It was nearly eight and if he left now he would make it back just in time. Ron and Hermione watched as he gathered his notes and books.

“Is there anything you want us to look for, Harry?” Hermione asked softly.

Harry shook his head. “I’ll see you back in the Common Room.” He stood and checked to make sure that he had everything. “Are you guys going to be much longer?”

Ron and Hermione exchanged a glance and Ron’s ears turned red. “We’ll be back in a little while. Is there anything you need?”

Harry shook his head, smiled tightly, and walked away. The corridors were empty, not even the ghosts were out and about this evening. Harry paused in front of a window and watched the sun set, well aware that he was pushing his luck staying out so late. But he was tired of sitting alone in the Common Room while his friends were allowed to stay out later and study, or do something else. Even most of the younger students were allowed to stay out later than eight o’clock. Harry sat tiredly on a stone bench near the window, laughing hollowly as he realized it was the same bench he had sat on when McGonagall had found him months ago on the way back from the dungeons, just before he had had his privileges curtailed. He had put up with their sanctions for five long months. Harry kept reminding himself that there were only two weeks left. Two weeks until he could leave and be with Remus and no one could tell him that he couldn’t go somewhere or do something. Harry stood and began walking slowly to Gryffindor tower. He could make it two more weeks. Remus kept reminding him that it would be over soon. Ron and Hermione kept him company, most of the time, and even Neville and Ginny had taken to keeping him occupied and his mind off the treatment he received from most of the faculty. It was only two more weeks. Harry was still reminding himself of that when he entered the Common Room and came face to face with McGonagall.

“Mr. Potter. Your probation requires that you be in the Common Room at eight o’clock. Not at eight oh five. I will report this to the Headmaster and you will be contacted regarding your expulsion.”

“Yes, you do that.” Harry sneered and McGonagall seemed taken aback. Ginny, Seamus and Lavender hovered anxiously behind her. “You go report to Dumbledore and let me know. And then I’ll let you know what actions I plan to take.”

“Fifty points from Gryffindor, Mr. Potter.” McGonagall stated primly and brushed past Harry to the portrait hole.

“What, only fifty?” Harry asked contemptuously and turned slowly to face McGonagall. McGonagall opened her mouth, but shut it with a snap and left.

Ginny and Seamus pressed forward. “Harry, we sent Neville and Dean to try and find you. McGonagall has been waiting here for you for ten minutes.” Ginny wrung her hands together.

“Yeah, it was almost as if she knew you wouldn’t make it tonight,” Seamus said angrily.

“Harry, what are you going to do?” Ginny asked.

Harry grimaced. “It depends on what they do.” Harry looked around, making eye contact with Seamus, Ginny and Lavender. “Will you three swear that I was only five minutes late?” All three nodded, though Lavender looked uncertain as to what she was agreeing to. “Ron and Hermione can tell them that I was in the library until almost eight o’clock. They’re not going to kick me out of Hogwarts just before NEWTs. I’m not going to let them.”

Neville burst through the portrait hole, panting. “Harry, where were you? McGonagall was here waiting for you.” Ginny walked to Neville and put her arm around his shoulders, rubbing his shoulders soothingly in an effort to calm him.

“I know, Neville. Thanks for trying to find me.”

“What did she say, Harry?” Neville leaned into Ginny slightly and wrapped his own arm around her waist.

“She’s talking to Dumbledore. I expect I’ll find out what’s going on soon enough.”

Dean, Ron and Hermione burst through the portrait hole just then.

“Harry, Dean just said that McGonagall was waiting on you. Were you late?” Hermione asked.

Harry grinned. “Five minutes late. She’s gone to talk to Dumbledore.”

“Harry, what happened? You left with just enough time to make it here before eight,” Ron said quickly.

“I took my time. But I’ve had enough. Third and fourth years get to stay out later than I do. I was five minutes late making their curfew.” Harry turned to Hermione and she started slightly at the look on his face. “Hermione, I need you to help me. They’re not going to expel me and they’re not going to give me detention.”

“You want to appeal whatever punishment they try to give you?” Hermione asked breathlessly. Harry nodded. “It’s in Hogwarts: A History. I’ll find everything I need. I’ll write to Remus, the twins, and Bill; they’ll know about it too. You’ll need witnesses, though Harry.”

Harry smiled. “I have them. You and Ron saw me leave the library at seven fifty-five, right?” Ron and Hermione nodded. “Ginny, Seamus and Lavender saw me arrive here at eight oh five. Those three and Dean and Neville can testify that McGonagall was here waiting for me for ten minutes.” Harry glanced around. They were all staring at him nervous, but steadfast. Harry smiled. “This has gone on too long. I’m tired of being treated this way. I didn’t want to have to do anything, but if they want a fight, I’ll give them one. And I’m going to win.”

****  
The seventh years, along with Ginny, sat up late and waited for a summons or a letter or anything, but began drifting away when nothing arrived by eleven. Harry, Ron and Hermione sat staring at each other for another hour before finally heading to bed themselves. They all met in the Common Room the next morning and walked down to breakfast together. They watched the Owl Post, but nothing arrived for Harry. They exchanged glances throughout breakfast and tried to act like everything was normal. The other years watched them, somehow knowing that something was going on but having no idea what it was. It wasn’t until they all set out for class that McGonagall descended upon the group and led Harry away. He glanced over his shoulder at all of his friends staring after him and nodded reassuringly. He met Hermione’s eyes and she smiled and nodded firmly. Harry relaxed and allowed McGonagall to lead him to Dumbledore’s office.

Dumbledore looked at him solemnly over his spectacles. Harry shrugged away from McGonagall’s grip and sat leisurely in a chair in front of his desk.

“Mr. Potter, I trust you understand why you are here?” Dumbledore asked.

Harry frowned at the tone in his voice. That wasn’t the voice of a man who knew beyond a doubt that he was right. Harry had never heard Dumbledore sound so uncertain before. “You and Professor McGonagall are going to try and expel me.”

“There is no ‘try’ involved here, Mr. Potter,” McGonagall cut in waspishly. Harry kept his gaze on Dumbledore, who returned his stare steadily. “You understood the terms of your probation and you violated those terms last night.”

Dumbledore and Harry continued to stare at each other. And then Dumbledore blinked. Harry stared at him owlishly from behind his glasses and smiled at Dumbledore’s slight nod. “You’re not going to expel me.” Harry turned to McGonagall. “I’m protesting your right to expel me. And I’m appealing the probation you put me on in January. According to the bylaws of this school, the Headmaster will reside over a formal hearing in front of the Heads of Houses. I will be allowed to present my case, with witnesses.” Harry smiled. “I’d like to do this as soon as possible. NEWTs are next week and I need to study.” Harry turned back to Dumbledore. “Is there anything else, Headmaster?”

“I don’t believe so, Mr. Potter. I will contact you when the hearing has been scheduled. I suggest that you have your case ready.”

Harry stood and smiled. “I will, sir. I have to get to class.” Harry waited and Dumbledore nodded. He turned toward the door, but stared at McGonagall a moment before leaving. Harry sighed as he reached the corridor outside Dumbledore’s office and clutched his book bag to him tightly before going to class.

****  
Harry tensed when a school owl landed in his pudding at dinner that night. He removed the scroll and winced as the owl’s wing clipped him on the shoulder when it took off. Neville patted his back while Hermione nodded and smiled encouragingly. Harry took a deep breath and read the scroll.

“It’s set for tomorrow afternoon,” Harry said dully.

“Well, that’s good,” Hermione said brightly. “That’ll give us enough time to prepare a good defense but it won’t interfere too much with NEWTs.”

Harry scowled. “I don’t need a good defense. They’re the ones who are wrong.”

“I know, Harry, but we have to do this properly,” Hermione continued. “I’ll get everyone to write down what they’re going to say and look it over, and hopefully I’ll hear back from Bill and Fred and George before tomorrow afternoon. Remus already owled, but he didn’t have much more to say that I didn’t already know.”

Hermione continued making plans, but Harry tuned her out, turning instead to look at the Head Table. McGonagall scowled at the Gryffindor table, while Hagrid looked nervous and uncertain. Harry frowned as his gaze fell on Dumbledore and Snape. Their heads were close together and Snape was whispering frantically to Dumbledore. He was reasonably certain that Snape was on his side, but the man had hated him for six years before the sudden about face last fall. And Snape hated his father and his godfather, and probably Remus. Harry sighed and looked away. He was getting paranoid and it wouldn’t do him any good to be anxious now. He had to stay calm and keep his temper in check.

Harry glanced over at Hermione, still talking and waving her hands animatedly. Ron was staring at her, his eyes glazed over, but still managing to look attentive. Harry caught their attention. “I’m going back to the Common Room. I can’t stay here anymore.”

Ron nodded.

“That’s a good idea,” Hermione agreed quickly. “I’m going to study for an hour or two in the library, before I talk to your witnesses.” She turned to Ron. “Would you remind them I need to look over their testimony tonight?”

Ron nodded again. “Sure.” He turned to Harry with a slightly desperate look on his face. “I’ll keep Harry company, alright?”

Harry grinned and nodded. “Thanks, Hermione. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“You’d probably have been expelled years ago.” Ron laughed until Hermione turned on him.

“You too, Ron.” She leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the cheek before standing. “Besides, this is kind of fun.”

Harry bit his tongue as Hermione headed toward the library, leaving Ron and Harry standing in the corridor. “I’m sure she didn’t mean it the way it sounded,” Ron said as Hermione turned a corner.

Harry nodded. “For a smart girl, she can say some very stupid things.”

Ron chuckled and began walking to Gryffindor. “You know that everything is going to be alright, don’t you?”

Harry nodded. “Yeah. I just wish I could convince the knot in my stomach.”

“Do you know what you’re going to say?”

Harry shrugged. “I guess it depends on what they say first. I’m going to tell them the truth. I haven’t done anything wrong. They’ve been irrational all term.”

“I know, Harry, but you have to stay calm.”

“I know that. Why is everyone so worried that I’m going to go crazy and start cursing people?”

Ron paused outside the portrait hole and pulled Harry to the side. “You’ve got a bad temper where Remus is concerned, Harry. You don’t like anyone to say anything bad about him and you think that everything anyone says about him is bad.”

“I do not. And anyway, you don’t like it when people badmouth Hermione.”

Ron sighed. “No, I don’t. But I do know she has faults and if people are making a good point about her I don’t fly off the handle. You can barely stand it when anyone says anything positive about Remus.”

Harry clenched his fists. “Because nobody ever says anything positive about Remus. All they can see is that he’s a werewolf and that we’re bonded, which everyone thinks is a bad idea. It’s not like we had a choice. And nobody understands and so everyone should stay out of our business!”

Harry stood panting lightly for a few minutes and slowly became aware that Ron was standing silently before him, his arms crossed over his chest. “Do you see what I mean?”

Harry forced himself to relax. “I can’t help the way I feel, Ron.”

“I know you can’t. But not everyone is out to get you and Remus. I like Remus, I always have. But you need to calm down. If you get upset and start yelling at them tomorrow afternoon, they’re going to kick you out and there’s not going to be anything you can do about it.”

Harry’s shoulders slumped and he leaned against the wall. “I don’t know if I can, Ron.”

“You have to, Harry.” Ron stepped forward and pulled Harry away from the wall, clapping him on the shoulder and guiding him toward the portrait hole again. “We all know that they don’t know what they’re doing and we’re all behind you. So just stay calm and tell them they’re all idiots.”

Harry laughed and followed Ron into the Common Room.

****  
Ron’s attempts at reassuring Harry were heartfelt, but didn’t last past the time that Harry went to bed that night. He lay in bed staring blankly up at the dark canopy, listening to Neville and Ron snore. He knew he was right. They were basing their assumptions about Remus and Harry on false information and managed to completely forget that they knew the two people in question quite well. The whole notion that Remus was a dark creature was ludicrous. Harry had killed a Dark Lord last year; he certainly wasn’t going to become one. Harry sighed and turned onto his side. Hermione’s suggestions kept rolling through his head along with any possible question that they might ask. He wasn’t prepared. What was he thinking, standing up to McGonagall and Dumbledore? Harry turned onto his back again. He felt like he was relying too much on his friends, expecting too much of them. He should have left the library earlier instead of dragging his friends into trouble like he always did.

Harry started at a soft thump against his bed curtains. He opened them slowly, reaching for his wand on the nightstand and stifled a shout when something dark flew through the small gap. A small grey owl hooted softly up at him and fluttered impatiently. “All right, hold still.” Harry grasped the owl gently, smoothing its feathers, before removing the note. The owl flew around his head once before butting against the bed curtains until Harry opened them enough to let the owl out. He grabbed his wand and a whispered “ _lumos_ ” created just enough light so he could read the small note.

 _Come to the Shack, now._

Harry smiled and dove for his trunk, quickly wrapped his invisibility cloak around himself and sprinted as quietly as possible out of the Common Room and down to the Womping Willow. He wasted what he felt were precious minutes searching for a branch long enough to reach the knot, but he was finally, finally racing down the tunnel and up the stairs and throwing open the door and Remus was there and turning toward the door. Harry raced to him and threw his arms around him. Remus stumbled back a step and chuckled before hesitantly wrapping his own arms around Harry.

“You still have the cloak on, Harry.”

Harry laughed and stepped back, shrugging the cloak off, before stepping forward and pressing his lips to Remus’. Remus tensed and tried to step back, but Harry held on firmly and continued to nibble at Remus’ lips, coaxing them to open. Remus moaned softly and he opened his mouth to allow Harry’s tongue entrance. Harry clutched Remus closer as they exchanged fevered kisses. Harry grasped at Remus desperately and groaned into Remus mouth when Remus’ hands dropped down to cup his arse. Harry’s hips thrust against Remus’, but Remus grabbed at Harry’s shoulders, pushing him away and holding him at arm’s length. Harry whimpered and tried to step close to Remus again.

“That’s not why I’m here, Harry.”

“So?” Harry tried to shrug Remus’ hands away, but Remus laughed and held him away.

“Stop that, now. We need to talk about tomorrow.”

Harry felt as if a bucket of cold water had been poured on him and he pulled away from Remus. Remus ran a soothing hand across Harry’s shoulders and led him over to the dilapidated sofa in front of the empty fireplace.

“I’m sure that Hermione has told you everything that you need to know, but I wanted to talk to you myself.” Harry nodded absently at Remus’ statement. “You’re nervous about tomorrow, aren’t you?”

Harry nodded again. “How can they treat me this way? They all know me, they knew my parents. They’ve known you since before I was born. How can they believe --?”

Remus smiled and pulled Harry into his side. “They’re scared.”

“But they have no reason to be.”

“I know. I know you hate that this has happened, so do I, but I think it’s for the best that it’s happened now.”

“What do you mean?”

Remus smiled sadly. “You’re powerful, you have a strong relationship with a dark creature,” Remus tightened his hold on Harry when his body tensed at those words, “and you don’t need them anymore. They can’t guide you as they have over the past six years.”

“But….”

“You scare them. Tom Riddle was smart, handsome, and popular. They taught him everything they could and let him loose on the world and paid the consequences of not paying attention to him while they could.”

“I’m not Tom Riddle,” Harry spoke through clenched teeth.

Remus chuckled quietly. “I know. But you were influenced by him.”

“I was not,” Harry replied sullenly.

“He tried to kill you when you were a year old. And he tried to kill you every year while you were in school until you finally killed him. You also shared a psychological link with him. You may not have sat at his knee and allowed him to teach you, but you were strongly influenced by his presence in your life.”

“Why does this always happen to me?” Harry pulled away and stood, stalking around the room and gesturing wildly. “Why do the people I trust and care for always turn against me? What have I ever done that would tell them that they can’t trust me?” Remus sat quietly on the sofa and watched Harry prowl around the room as he ranted. “In second year everyone at the school turned against me because they thought I was the Heir of Slytherin and I was the one setting the basilisk on the Muggle born. In fourth year they all thought that I had put my name in the Goblet of Fire so I could draw attention to myself when everyone knew that Dumbledore had placed a protective circle around the Goblet to keep people who weren’t allowed to enter out.” Harry scoffed lightly. “As if I could break through one of Dumbledore’s protection spells when I was fourteen years old. And fifth year everyone thought I was crazy. And now this stupid idea that I’m going to become the next Dark Lord because of your influence.” Harry stopped his erratic pacing and stared at Remus. “When are people going to leave me alone and believe that I’m not a threat to them or a publicity hungry prat?”

Remus stood and walked over to stand in front of Harry. “The people that truly know you and trust you know better than to believe that of you.”

Harry turned anguished eyes to Remus. “But even Ron, during fourth year, believed that I had put my name in the goblet. And Seamus, in fifth year, thought I was crazy.” Harry closed his eyes and turned away. “I’m so tired of this.”

“Do you want to go back and defend yourself to McGonagall and Dumbledore?” Remus asked softly.

Harry turned to him. “I don’t know. Part of me realizes that I have to do this. I have to confront them and tell them they’re stupid.” Remus smiled briefly. “But another part, a larger part of me, just wants to go home with you now.”

Remus touched Harry’s cheek gently. “You can do either, and I wouldn’t judge you.”

Harry released a breathy, bitter laugh. “But everyone else will. And I can’t run away from them.” Harry stepped forward into Remus’ embrace and rested his head on Remus’ shoulder. “This is where we first kissed.” Remus hummed quietly. “Hermione got me a book after Christmas.”

Remus smiled. “A belated Christmas gift?”

“Something like that.” Harry fell silent. “Do you want to know what kind of book it was?”

“I have a feeling that you’d really like to tell me what kind of book it was.”

Harry sighed and Remus shivered lightly as Harry’s breath moved across his neck. “I was a little nervous when I got back from Christmas.” Remus’ arms tightened painfully for a moment before he relaxed his hold slightly and began rubbing Harry’s back. Harry hurried on. “I asked if she could help me with something. Ron and Hermione have been kind of intimate lately, and I can’t really ask Ron, not that I could really ask Hermione, but Hermione is smart and resourceful and I knew that she would be happy to help me and so she found this book, actually she owled her mum and asked if she could find a book to help me and I’ve been studying it and, um….” Harry broke off suddenly and pressed his forehead into Remus’ neck.

Remus smiled against Harry’s hair. “Harry, what kind of book is it?”

Harry mumbled something into Remus’ collar.

Remus laughed. “What was that?”

“It’s a sex manual.”

“You asked Hermione to find you a sex manual?” Remus teased gently.

Harry mumbled into his collar again and Remus felt the heat from Harry’s face as he blushed.

“What did you say?”

“I didn’t want to look stupid.”

“And how will a sex manual help you not look stupid?”

“I don’t want to look stupid with you. After Hogwarts.” Harry’s face was still hidden against Remus’ neck. Remus tried to push Harry away slightly, but Harry clung stubbornly to him.

“Harry, let go.” Remus tugged at Harry’s arms again. “I want to look at you.” Harry sighed and allowed his arms to be pulled from around Remus’ shoulders. Harry refused to meet Remus eyes and instead stared at a spot over Remus’ left shoulder. Remus sighed. “Do you really think I care if you don’t know anything about sex? Do you have any idea how much I want you, especially knowing that you’ve only exchanged a few awkward kisses with some girl years ago?” Harry blushed and shifted his gaze to the stone hearth on the far wall. Remus hands cupped Harry’s face. Harry blinked at Remus’ smile. “You make me very happy, you foolish boy.” Remus kissed him gently. “Are you going back to Hogwarts?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll be waiting for you. No matter what happens, I…” Harry held his breath while he waited for Remus to finish the sentence. “I’m waiting for you.”

Harry swallowed his disappointment and smiled. “I know. I’ll either see you tomorrow or in two weeks.” Harry walked toward the tunnel back to Hogwarts. He turned at the door and smiled as Remus wrapped the invisibility cloak around his shoulders. “Will you kiss me for good luck?”

Remus chuckled, but obligingly kissed Harry. “You’ll be fine tomorrow. They’re not going to do anything to Harry Potter. Take your cane with you to remind them of what you did last year.”

Harry laughed. “Should I stow my wand in the handle, like Lucius Malfoy?”

Remus smiled and kissed Harry again. “Go on now. Try and get some sleep. I’ll wait here until I hear from you.”

Harry nodded and stepped into the tunnel. He turned back for one last look at Remus before the door closed between them.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hearing takes place.

Dumbledore sat behind a table, flanked on either side by the four Heads of House. Harry stared at him calmly. Behind Harry Hermione, Ron, and the rest of his witnesses waited anxiously for the questioning to begin.

Dumbledore cleared his throat and began speaking clearly. “Mr. Potter, you were put on probation on February 7 and the terms of your probation were explained clearly to you at that time. One of those terms was that you would return to your Common Room every evening by eight o’clock. On June 10 you violated your probation by returning after eight o’clock. You were informed of your expulsion, but you chose instead to appeal your expulsion and your probation at that time.” Dumbledore glanced away for a moment. “Why were you late returning to your Common Room, Mr. Potter?”

Harry leaned forward, resting his hands on the small desk in front of him. “I was only five minutes late, Headmaster. As you can see, I have several people who will serve as witnesses that I left the library five minutes before the hour and arrived only five minutes after the hour.” Harry looked at McGonagall. “Several of those witnesses can testify that Professor McGonagall had been waiting for several minutes before I arrived. I have to wonder why she would be waiting for me.”

“This is not about me, Mr. Potter,” McGonagall answered smartly. “You were the one who violated your probation.”

“I am curious as to why you would be waiting for him, Professor McGonagall,” Snape said softly.

McGonagall flinched. “That is not the issue. Mr. Potter knew what he was doing.”

“Yes. I was revising for NEWTs in the library where I could concentrate,” Harry said dryly.

“Why didn’t you leave earlier?” McGonagall asked.

“Because I was revising for my NEWTs,” Harry said slowly.

McGonagall opened her mouth, but closed it with a snap when Dumbledore spoke. “Why did you wait so long to decide to appeal your probation?”

Harry glanced at Snape. “I didn’t want to cause any trouble. And I didn’t realize that the probationary period would last until I left Hogwarts.”

“Mr. Potter,” Snape leaned forward and stared at Harry intently. “Do you understand why you were put on probation?”

Harry smiled. “I understand better now than I did in February.”

Professor Sprout frowned and spoke for the first time. “What do you mean, Mr. Potter?”

“I mean that I understand now why you’ve been treating me so badly in class. And why you were just looking for an opportunity to punish me.”

“You are out of line, Mr. Potter,” McGonagall spoke quickly.

“I’m rather interested in what Mr. Potter has to say, actually,” Snape said softly.

“As am I,” Flitwick said.

Dumbledore nodded. “Proceed, Mr. Potter.”

“I didn’t understand for the longest time why the very people I trusted most in the world were treating me so cruelly. I thought at first that it was because Remus and I were bonded, because we were both men.” Harry smirked as Sprout and McGonagall shifted uncomfortably. “But it didn’t really make sense. There’s still a lot I don’t understand about the wizarding world and I thought maybe this was one of those things I didn’t understand. But when I spoke to my friends, I realized that wasn’t true exactly. They didn’t care that Remus and I were both men, even the pureblood families. But I reasoned that my last year would soon be finished and then I wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore. And then I found the most fascinating book and it all became clear. It wasn’t because Remus and I were men. It was because Remus is a werewolf. And I had just killed Voldemort.” Harry smiled. “You’re afraid that I’m going to be the next Dark Lord, and you thought you would punish me while you still had the chance.”

Snape smirked and folded his arms. Flitwick looked confused. “That is absolutely ridiculous, Mr. Potter. I am sure that my collogues….” Flitwick broke off abruptly as Sprout and McGonagall both shifted uncomfortable. Ron and Seamus snorted softly behind him. Dumbledore stared at him sadly.

“How could you think that?” Harry watched Dumbledore carefully. “How could you think that just because Remus and I are bonded I would end up evil? I trusted you. I’ve always trusted you, even when I was been angry with you. You’ve worked with Remus; you’ve known us both since we were children. You’ve saved me over and over. You’ve given Remus and me second and even third chances. What have we ever done to betray your trust?”

Dumbledore leaned forward and spoke earnestly. “Harry, I don’t want to believe it, but you must look at the facts. You are powerful. As is Remus. And despite how you feel about Remus, he is a dark creature.”

“He is not. He’s no darker than you are,” Harry scoffed.

“He is a werewolf, Harry,” Dumbledore continued. “Without the Wolfsbane potion, he becomes a murderous beast once a month. The damage that does to his body and his psyche must be powerful. No one is certain what the long-term effects of being a werewolf are; very few people survive being infected at such a young age. And you are closely linked to him.”

“So what did you think this would do?” Harry asked. “Did you honestly think that expelling me would keep me from becoming a Dark Lord?”

Dumbledore sat back with a sigh. “It was not my intention that you be treated so harshly, Harry.” McGonagall and Sprout fidgeted again, but Dumbledore continued as if he had not noticed. “I wanted to warn the other Professors to watch you carefully for any signs that your demeanor may be changing.”

“Like you watched Tom Riddle?” Harry asked coldly.

Dumbledore smiled self-depreciatingly. “When I look back at Tom Riddle’s school days, I saw many things that I should have acted on when I had the chance. I regret my actions toward Tom more than you can imagine.”

“I’m not Tom Riddle,” Harry said angrily.

“No, you are not. But you are very similar and you were linked to him until last spring. And now you are closely linked with Remus.”

“Remus is a good person. And I see now that he is the only adult that ever truly cared for me.” McGonagall gasped and Dumbledore closed his eyes as if he had just been struck. Harry sighed. “Are you going to expel me or not?”

Dumbledore shook his head. “No, Mr. Potter. You will not be expelled. And your probation is over, as well.”

“Little good it will do me now,” Harry said softly.

“Harry, I am sorry that I….” Dumbledore broke off abruptly and shook his head.

“What, that you didn’t trust me?” Harry asked. “You trusted me to kill Voldemort, but you can’t trust me to have enough sense to tell the difference between good and evil? If that were the case, we would still be fighting Voldemort now.” Harry stood abruptly and glared at Dumbledore. “You better hope that I’m not the next Dark Lord, because if I am, the first thing I’m going to do is come back and kill you. Voldemort was afraid of you; I’m not.” Harry turned, ignored his friends’ startled gaze, and stalked down the hall toward Gryffindor.

“Harry, wait!” Harry ignored Hermione’s shout and continued toward his dormitory. He scribbled a quick note to Remus then turned to head to the Owlry. His witnesses blocked the door.

“Harry, man, I can’t believe what you said to them.” Dean grinned.

Hermione glared at Dean. “How could you say that to them?”

“Do you really think it matters, Hermione?” Harry asked. “They’ve already decided what they want to think about me.”

“You said you weren’t going to lose your temper today,” Ron scolded, but there was a smile in his eyes.

“Yeah, well, I tried not to.”

Seamus grinned. “They really think you’re going to be the next You-Know-Who?”

Harry grinned back. “Looks that way, doesn’t it?”

“Can we be your inner circle?” Dean joked.

“Wait a minute, I want to hear about the perks first.” Ron joined in.

“I’m guessing that ruling the world will be one of them,” Dean continued.

“Maybe he’ll divvy up continents.” Seamus turned to Harry. “Can I have South America?”

“How can you guys joke about something like this?” Neville asked angrily.

“Neville’s right. This is completely inappropriate.” Hermione propped her hands on her hips.

“Come on, Hermione.” Ginny smiled. “Harry has as much of a chance of turning into a Dark Lord as Dumbledore does. It’s never going to happen.”

“I don’t know, Ginny. If people keep treating me the way they have been lately, I could turn evil,” Harry said softly. Everyone stared at Harry apprehensively for a minute. Then Harry grinned. “I’m joking guys. I promised Remus that I’d owl him as soon as anything was decided. Will you guys let me out the door now?” They shifted uncomfortably for a minute before clearing a path to the door. Harry stared at them. “I’m really not going to turn evil. And Remus isn’t going to corrupt me.” Harry considered what he had said for a minute. “Well, I mean he’s not going to make me turn evil.” Hermione and Ginny blushed while Neville, Dean and Ron shifted uncomfortably. Seamus grinned at him. “Honest, I’m just upset because they don’t trust me all of a sudden. Everything is fine.”

Hermione stepped forward and hugged Harry. “We know, Harry. And we do trust you.” She kissed his cheek. “Go send an owl to Remus. We’ll wait in the Common Room for you and then we’ll go down to dinner to celebrate.”

Harry smiled and nodded and left quickly. He sent Hedwig to the Shack and joined his friends for dinner. They were all heading back to the Common Room to collect their books and notes to study in the library when Snape stepped out of the shadows near the Great Hall.

“Mr. Potter, if you can detach yourself from your fan club for a moment, I would like a word.”

Everyone but Harry glared at Snape. “Go on guys, I’ll meet you there in a few minutes.” Harry watched everyone walk away slowly before turning to Snape.

“Come with me, Potter.”

Harry frowned but followed Snape, keeping his silence until they approached the corridor outside of Dumbledore’s office.

“Professor, I really don’t want to see Dumbledore right now.”

Snape turned and arched an eyebrow. “Nevertheless, you will come with me to Headmaster Dumbledore’s office. And you will be polite, Potter.”

Harry glared, but reluctantly followed Snape up the spiral staircase. Dumbledore was sitting on a low couch in front of the fireplace when Harry and Snape entered. He stood as soon as he saw them and waved them over. Harry sat cautiously on a chair nearby and watched as Snape and Dumbledore sat next to each other on the couch. Dumbledore busied himself pouring tea and offering cookies. Harry waited patiently for whatever it was Dumbledore wanted to say. He didn’t have to wait long.

“Harry, I wanted to apologize.” Harry’s brows shot up to his hairline, but he kept his silence, and Dumbledore continued. “I truly did not intend for your professors to treat you so harshly, and by the time I was made aware of it, the damage had been done and your,” Dumbledore smiled briefly, “peers had taken it upon themselves to help you rectify the situation. Believe me when I say that it was never the thought of you and Remus being men that had me upset.”

Harry frowned and stared down into his tea.

Dumbledore sighed. “I’ve made many mistakes in my life, Harry. The worse mistake I ever made was not counseling Tom Riddle appropriately when he was under my care. I had several opportunities to speak with him and try and guide him in a more appropriate manner. I watched him, never doubt that, but all I saw was a smart, handsome, popular young man who was growing more powerful with each passing year. He was very charismatic in his youth, and he charmed me as well. But by the time I realized what Tom had become, it was too late to do anything but try and save as many people as possible.” Dumbledore smiled sadly. “Unfortunately, I couldn’t. But you did. And I realized that you would become more powerful than Voldemort or I. I’ve watched you from the time I placed you with your Aunt and Uncle. I had hoped that they would love you and raise you to be a good person with a proper idea of right and wrong and fairness. But there was nothing I could do to change their treatment of you. You know it was necessary for you to remain with them. And as I watched you grow, I became concerned. But then you came here, and you made good, dependable friends, and you were so kind to everyone, and my fears were allayed for a time. You even performed admirably during the years when you were treated cruelly by everyone around you. But then I saw your affection transfer to Remus. I had read Morray’s book years ago, before Remus came to Hogwarts and I knew of his theories. No study of Werewolves had ever been conducted and none since. No one knows how a Werewolf’s psyche develops. But I watched you and Remus both, and I saw the affection you had for each other, and the strength and power that the two of you would have, working together. And I foolishly shared my fears with others, save the one person who could have allied those fears before they spiraled out of control.” Dumbledore smiled at Snape’s smirk. “Professor Snape has told me loudly and often that I have been a foolish old man concerning you and Remus. And he has informed me that if you do ever become a Dark Lord it will be, in part, my own fault.”

Harry couldn’t help but grin at Snape’s smirk and Dumbledore’s chagrin.

“Harry, I am more sorry than I can say for my actions toward you. I cannot apologize for my collogues, but please accept my apologizes for my inattention and for allowing this situation to continue.”

Harry nodded, but couldn’t make himself form the words necessary to reassure Dumbledore.

After several silent moments Dumbledore sighed and continued. “Thank you for listening to me, Harry. I’m certain your friends are waiting for you.”

Harry nodded and stood. He opened his mouth, but closed it and shrugged and silently left the two men sitting in front of the fire.

****  
Remus paced in front of the cold fireplace and glanced at his watch for the fifth time. Harry’s hearing was scheduled to begin at two. It was only two-thirty and Remus knew it was irrational to expect to hear something this soon. He continued pacing and paused occasionally to stare out the window toward Hogsmeade. Part of him hoped that they would expel Harry. Remus was desperately tired of living in his cabin alone. He wanted a companion. And he wanted Harry in his bed. It had taken everything in him not to take advantage of Harry last night, even though he knew that Harry had been perfectly willing. Harry had stood there, in his pajamas, and told Remus about the sex manual Hermione had found for him. Remus had reminded himself it was only two more weeks. Two more weeks and then Harry would be out of school. He would be an adult, legal in every way. Two more weeks and Harry would be his completely.

Remus checked his watch again. Nearly three o’clock. He hoped everything was going well. Harry needed to take his NEWTs. He didn’t have to do well on them, but he needed to stay at Hogwarts and take his tests.

A white blur caught his attention and he smiled as Hedwig soared through the open window. He stroked her appreciatively and removed the note. Remus laughed as he read what Harry had written. His smile faded slowly as he realized the implications of what he had read. Harry was staying at Hogwarts. Remus sighed and scribbled a quick note to Harry on the back of the parchment and sent Hedwig back. Two weeks suddenly seemed an eternity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter and the abrupt change in point of view. Next chapter should be a bit longer.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry goes home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note the rating of this story. It earns that rating in this chapter.

Remus rested his elbows on his desk and ran his hands through his hair. Harry was due to arrive any moment. He had tried to keep himself busy, but his attention wavered from the corrections that his editor had requested and it was all he could do to keep himself from jumping to his feet and pacing the yard outside. He turned again to the manuscript lying in front of him. The editor had raved about his straightforward approach and requested few changes and had also predicted that the work would be well received as both a basic reference source and as a textbook. They had met once, several weeks ago, and Remus had told her that he was a werewolf. The editor had brushed his disease aside but had agreed that a pseudonym would be necessary to ensure sales of the book.

Remus sighed and pulled one of his sources to him. He forced himself to concentrate on the text, checking and double checking his facts and making corrections where his editor had indicated it was necessary. Remus quickly lost himself in rewriting.

Remus started violently, grabbing his wand and surging to his feet, when cool hands wrapped around his shoulders. He sighed and relaxed slightly when he saw Harry.

“Hello, Remus.” Harry lay on the floor where he had fallen and stared up at Remus.

Remus laughed and stretched a hand toward Harry. “I’m sorry, Harry. I didn’t hear you come in.”

Harry stood and stepped close to Remus. “I noticed.”

They stood close to each other, not touching, but close enough to feel each other’s breath ghost across their faces. “Have you been here long?”

“About five minutes.”

“Did the end of school go alright?”

Harry hummed and leaned forward slightly, still not touching Remus. “Classes were fine, no one fainted over NEWTs, though a couple of fifth years were sent to the hospital wing from exhaustion and hysterics.”

Remus released a breathy laugh. “Sounds normal enough.”

Harry closed his eyes. “About as normal as every other year.” Harry’s lips brushed against Remus’ as he spoke. He moaned softly when he felt Remus’ hands wrap around his shoulders. His eyes flew open and he gasped as the hands tightened and he found himself pressed into the wall beside Remus’ desk.

“Don’t you ever run from me again, Harry.”

Harry frowned. “What?”

Remus leaned into him. Harry gasped as Remus’ body came into contact with his own. “I’m talking about at Christmas when you told me you love me and then ran from me. Don’t you ever run from me again.”

Harry gasped again when Remus’ hands fell to his hips and gripped them tightly. “I didn’t mean to upset you.” Harry panted lightly. “Why did you wait so long to say anything?”

Remus smiled and Harry shivered in his grasp at the sight of it. “I wanted to see your face when I warned you. The night before your appeal didn’t seem like the right time.”

“Oh.” Harry’s arms curved around Remus and his hands clutched at Remus’ robes. “Remus, are you going to kiss me?”

Remus chuckled and pressed his lips to Harry’s temple. “I’m very happy to see you, Harry.”

Remus tried to step back, but Harry clutched him tightly and held him close. “How happy?”   
Remus only smiled as he relaxed against Harry slightly. “Happy enough to try a few things in that book I told you about last term?” Harry blushed slightly, but didn’t relax his grip.

Remus nodded. “You’re right. Now you’re here we should get started quickly.” Remus braced his hands against the wall on either side of Harry’s hips and pushed himself away. Harry stumbled forward slightly as Remus wrenched himself from Harry’s grip. “We need to get some wards up as soon as possible. I have some rudimentary wards up to keep Muggles away and warn me if someone I’m not expecting is breaching them. You got in because you lived here last summer, but if you’re planning on living here permanently oof….”

Remus staggered back a few steps as Harry launched himself at Remus and pressed their lips together. Remus touched Harry’s cheek lightly and softened the kiss. Harry relaxed and let Remus guide him, opening his mouth obediently when Remus sucked on his lower lip and tightened his hold on Remus’ shoulders when his tongue swept into Harry’s mouth and explored leisurely before coaxing Harry’s tongue into his own mouth.

Harry sighed and rested his forehead against Remus’ cheek when the kiss finally ended.

“What else do you want, Harry?” Remus’ hands caressed Harry’s back, shifting his robes slightly, but never roaming below his waist.

“I want to be with you.”

Remus smiled and rained kisses along Harry’s forehead and cheek before he lowered his lips to Harry’s ear. “Is that all you want?”

“Almost.” Remus smiled and pressed his cheek against Harry’s warm one.

Remus' hands tightened on Harry’s back and slowly began lifting his robes. “Almost?”

Harry nodded, rubbing his cheek against Remus’. “Almost. I missed you so much. I just wanted to be with you, see you and hear you and know you were with me.” Harry pulled back slightly and looked into Remus’ eyes. “Every time I saw Ron and Hermione together I got jealous. I thought at first that it was because they had something special with each other and I was left out. But I realized after Christmas that it was because they were together and we were so far apart. And then I couldn’t see you at all.” Harry touched Remus’ mouth with his fingertips. “I just want to be here with you.”

Remus’ eyes crinkled, though his mouth did not smile. “No sex?” Harry’s fingertips slipped into Remus’ mouth when he spoke.

Harry gasped as Remus tongue wrapped around his fingers. “I think if we don’t have sex soon, I’m going to explode.”

Remus released Harry’s fingers from his mouth and frowned playfully. “Oh, you poor baby. We can’t have that, now, can we?”

Remus stepped back and pulled Harry’s robes over his head and let them float to the ground.

Harry stepped forward and slid his hands underneath Remus’ jumper. “I hope you plan on doing something about it.” Harry ran his hands up and down Remus’ side.

Remus smiled and began unbuttoning Harry’s shirt. “You’re the one with the sex manual.”

Harry smiled and let his hands slide to Remus’ back, stroking along his spine. “Do you want me to find it for you?”

Remus chuckled and pulled Harry’s hands away from him. “I think we can manage without it this time.” Harry’s mouth twisted into a moue of disappointment when Remus forced his hands from under Remus’ jumper and back to his side. Remus cupped Harry’s shoulders and slid his shirt slowly down his arms. “Unless you want to take the time to search through your trunk for it?” Harry’s shirt dropped from his arms. Remus ran his hands back up slowly, wrapping around his shoulders for a gentle squeeze before sliding down Harry’s chest to his sides. “You told me you studied your manual.” Remus whispered. Harry closed his eyes, swaying slightly, and brought his hands up to Remus’ waist. Remus brushed his lips against Harry’s. “What do you want, Harry?”

Harry opened his eyes and stared beseechingly at Remus. “Please don’t ask me. I don’t…. Remus, please.”

Remus smiled and wrapped his arms around Harry, pulling him close. Harry tucked his head against Remus’ neck. “Alright. I won’t ask again. Not now. But you have to talk to me, Harry. Tell me what you like, how you feel. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t hurt me, Remus.” Harry pressed kisses along Remus’ jaw. “You could never hurt me.”

Remus’ cupped Harry’s face and turned his face toward him. “You don’t know that, Harry. Sometimes you’re too trusting.”

Harry eyes widened comically, but Remus chuckled and kissed Harry softly at first, nibbling and licking at his mouth and teeth. Harry moaned into Remus’ mouth and the kiss deepened.

Remus dropped his hands to Harry’s ass and squeezed, pressing their hips together. Harry moaned and his head fell back. Remus mouthed kisses along Harry’s throat before stepping away to drag him to his bedroom. Remus pushed him down onto the edge of the bed and knelt in front of him to remove his shoes. Harry ran his hands through Remus’ hair, smiling when Remus shivered as his fingers touched his ears softly, touched his neck and shoulders, resting there as Remus finished with his shoes and pushed Harry’s thighs wide to kneel between them. Remus touched his shoulder with one hand, the other resting on one of Harry’s thighs, and began mouthing kisses along Harry’s collarbone, nipping and licking lightly. Harry twined his hands in Remus’ hair and directed his mouth to his hardened nipples. Remus obligingly lapped at the hard nubs before biting them. He alternated biting and licking, running his hands beneath Harry’s trousers legs, massaging his calves. Harry suddenly tightened his hands in Remus’ hair, pushing his head away and kicking at his hands. Remus lost his balance and fell onto his ass, staring up at Harry, who scrambled across the bed away from Remus.

Remus stood, keeping a careful eye on Harry. Harry sat on the other side of the bed, his back to Remus, his head propped in his hands, elbows resting on his thighs.

“Harry?”

Harry laughed shortly, harshly.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry.”

Remus circled the bed slowly until he could kneel in front of Harry again. “What happened?”

“I’m sorry,” Harry whispered.

“Why?”

“My leg.”

Remus sat back on his heels. “Do you really think that matters?”

“It matters to me.”

Remus nodded absently. He pulled his jumper over his head, tossing it toward a chair in the corner. Remus grabbed Harry’s wrists and pulled his hands away from his face. “Look at me.”

Harry looked at Remus cautiously, his muscles tensed, ready for flight.

“What do you want?”

Harry frowned. “I thought you weren’t going to ask me that.”

Remus shook Harry’s arms lightly. “Do want to be with me? Do you want to stay here and let me touch you? Do you want to have sex with me and sleep with me? Or do you want to leave now?”

“Are you telling me to fuck you or leave?”

Remus shook Harry again, harder this time. “No. But I’ve waited a long time for this. I thought this was what you wanted. That’s what you said, isn’t it?” Harry nodded slowly. “Now look at me.”

Harry stared at Remus intently.

Remus chuckled. “Look at me. I’ve been a werewolf since I was nine years old.” Remus drew one of Harry’s hands to the scars roping around the right side of his chest and his right shoulder. “I’ve had these scars all my life. Every month I transform into a wolf and the change is painful and hard on my body. I’m much older than you, Harry. I have more scars than you. I don’t have as much energy as you. But I want you to touch me. I want you to look at me and see my scars. But I also want you to look beyond them, something I know you’ve done since you found out I was a werewolf. You have no reason to be ashamed of your leg. You got that injury destroying Voldemort, something that no one else was willing or able to do. And you’ve overcome it. You walk unaided nearly all the time now; you fly just as well as you ever did. Don’t be ashamed of what you are.”

Harry bit his lip and petted Remus’ scar lightly. “No one else has ever seen it.”

“Do you want to get under the covers?”

“I don’t know.”

Remus sighed and closed his eyes. Harry touched his chest gently, pushing him back. Remus opened his eyes and watched as Harry stood, his lower lip caught between his teeth, his hands resting at the waistband of his trousers. Harry closed his eyes and unfastened his trousers, pushing them down quickly and stepping out of them. Remus looked up, his gaze stopping briefly at Harry’s erection straining against his pants, before meeting Harry’s eyes. Harry stood for a moment, staring down at Remus, before sitting back on the bed and scooting back against the headboard. Remus’ gaze snagged briefly on Harry’s twisted leg. Just as Madam Pomfrey had predicted, the muscle was withered and the skin was mottled with white blotches and smooth areas. Remus leaned forward slowly, his hand resting on Harry’s knee and kissed the area gently before slipping his shoes off and crawling up onto the bed to kneel beside Harry.

“Alright?”

Harry nodded, his face bright red. Remus chuckled and leaned in to kiss him again. Harry responded quickly, wrapping one hand in Remus’ hair and the other wrapping around Remus’ bicep. Remus straddled Harry’s thighs, hovering over him, kissing him deeply. Harry’s hands dropped to the clasp of Remus’ trousers, hesitating until Remus sat back and brought his own hands to cover Harry’s. Harry shook his hands lightly and Remus lowered his hands to his thighs and watched Harry’s face as he concentrated on opening the placket of Remus’ trousers. Remus hissed as Harry’s fingers brushed against his erection, finally rolling away from Harry’s fingers to shove the trousers off his legs and rolled back toward Harry. Harry met him halfway. They curled together, wrapping arms around each other, stroking backs and chests leisurely and exchanging kisses. Neither seemed in any hurry to proceed. Until Remus’ hand stroked down Harry’s back and slipped beneath the waistband of his pants. Harry’s hips jerked. Remus laughed against Harry’s mouth and slipped his hand further down to cup Harry’s buttock.

“Alright?”

Harry nodded and pressed his head against Remus’ shoulder.

“Can I take these off?”

Harry’s hand tightened on Remus’ arm, but he nodded. “Yours, too.”

Remus sat up, hooked both hands in Harry’s pants and slid them slowly down his legs. Remus’ hand ghosted over Harry’s scarred calf and Harry tensed slightly, but relaxed when Remus ignored it while removing his socks as well. Harry pulled his glasses off and tossed them onto the nightstand, turned onto his back and closed his eyes. Remus returned quickly, stretching out beside him, his cock resting against Harry’s hip. Remus touched Harry’s face and Harry opened his eyes.

“You’re beautiful.” Remus smiled, his fingers gently caressing Harry’s face, brushing over his eyes, down his nose, along his cheeks, and finally over Harry’s lips. Harry let the tip of his tongue slip between his lips and licked lightly at Remus’ fingers. Remus’ eyes flared and he slipped a finger between Harry’s lips. Harry closed his eyes and sucked on Remus’ finger.

Remus watched Harry through narrowed eyes and his hand tightened where it rested on Harry’s jaw. He shifted slightly and knelt over Harry, his knees on either side of Harry’s hips. His other hand roamed Harry’s chest, brushing nipples, stroking his side before returning to Harry’s nipples. He pulled his finger from Harry’s mouth and brought both hands down to Harry’s chest, pinching and stroking his nipples. Harry’s hands rose and fluttered a moment before settling onto Remus’ thighs. Remus smiled, grateful that Harry’s eyes were still closed and he couldn’t see the grim smile. Remus shifted forward, aligning his cock with Harry’s. At the first touch of their cocks brushing together, Harry’s eyes flew open. Remus took one of Harry’s hands from his knee, kissed the palm, and brought it to his own cock. He wrapped his own hand around Harry’s cock.

“Help me, Harry.”

Harry pushed himself onto one elbow, his eyes going to his hand on Remus’ cock. Remus was stroking Harry’s cock, his thumb stroking over the tip. Harry began stroking Remus’ cock as well, concentrating on the cock in his hand rather than the hand on his own cock. Harry moved his hand hesitantly at first, but became more confident as Remus thrust his cock into Harry’s fist. Harry’s fist was soon dampened by sweat and pre-come. Remus stared at Harry with narrowed eyes and gritted his teeth. Sweat glistened on Remus’ torso and face. Harry pulled Remus’ hand from his own cock and brought both hands to Remus’. Remus fisted his hands on his thighs and began praising Harry, instructing him, encouraging him. Harry watched his hands on Remus’ cock intently. He lowered one hand to Remus’ balls, cradling them and smiling at Remus’ words.

“Fuck, Harry, you’re amazing,” Remus growled and wrapped his fingers around Harry’s wrist, gripped Harry’s wrist tightly, increasing Harry’s pace before bracing himself against the headboard. Harry tightened his grip and Remus came over Harry’s hand and stomach. Remus hovered over Harry a few moments, trembling, sweat dripping off him. He felt Harry shift underneath him and opened his eyes. Harry ran his fingers through the come on his stomach and lifted his fingers to his mouth. Remus groaned and lowered himself to the bed beside Harry. He pulled Harry onto his side facing him and kissed him. Harry moaned and thrust his hips against Remus’ belly.

Remus laughed into Harry’s mouth. Now that Harry’s curiosity about Remus’ cock had been satisfied, his own arousal occupied his attention once again. Remus ran a hand down Harry’s side, over his hip and flank to his knee and pulled his thigh forward, hooking Harry’s knee over his hip. Remus’ fingers ghosted over Harry’s hole before massaging Harry’s balls. Harry groaned and began trembling. Remus pulled Harry’s head to his chest and wrapped his other arm around Harry’s back, cushioning Harry’s head on his arm.

He leaned down and began whispering in Harry’s ear. “Is this what you want?” Remus’ hand moved from his balls to his cock and began stroking him firmly. “Did you read about this in that manual you got from your friend? Did you dream about this? Do you know how often I imagined you like this, naked, aroused in my bed? You feel so good in my hand. Hard and strong and wet and mine. You belong to me, Harry. You’ve always been mine. You always will be.” Remus lowered his head to Harry’s throat, and just as his teeth sank into the back of Harry’s neck, Harry rocked against Remus’ belly and hand and came with a gasp. Remus held Harry close, his hand milking Harry’s cock as it spasmed in his hand, and his tongue laved at the shallow bite in Harry’s neck. Harry finally relaxed and Remus withdrew his hand to wrap it around Harry’s back, nestling Harry even closer to him.

Remus shifted Harry slightly and reached for his wand on the nightstand and cast a cleaning spell over them and the bedding. He held Harry to him as he slept, pressing kisses to his face and hair and lapping occasionally at the bite mark on Harry’s neck. Harry had been asleep for only a few minutes before he began stirring in Remus’ arms. Remus pressed a last kiss to Harry’s jaw before pulling away to look into Harry’s face.

“Are you awake?”

Harry smiled but kept his eyes closed. “No. ‘m still sleeping. ‘m dreaming.”

“What are you dreaming about?”

“’m home and you’re here. With me. ‘m not alone anymore. Never be alone again.”

“Why do you think you’re dreaming?”

“I've had this dream before.” Harry snuggled closer to Remus. “Don’t want to wake up. Don’t want to be alone anymore.”

Remus smiled. “Open your eyes.”

Harry squirmed for a moment, twisting in Remus’ arms, and opened his eyes. “I’m not dreaming anymore, am I?”

Remus shook his head and kissed Harry gently. “And you’re not alone anymore. You never will be again.”

Harry smiled and closed his eyes.

“How do you feel?”

Harry chuckled. “Good. Better than I’ve felt for a long time.”

Remus squeezed him gently before rolling away and off the bed. “Good. Get some clothes on. I want to get those wards up before nightfall.”

Harry groaned and rolled onto his belly, pulling a pillow over his head. “Can’t we just stay in bed the rest of the day?”

Remus laughed and swatted Harry’s arse. “No. I’m hungry, and I have to finish some corrections for my editor. And I need you to help me get those wards up. Get up.”

Harry pushed the pillow away and turned to Remus. He watched Remus pull on his trousers and socks before speaking again. “Why can’t we do that tomorrow?”

Remus snatched Harry’s trousers off the floor and leaned over Harry, bracing his hands on either side of Harry’s shoulders. “If we get everything done today, the wards, my corrections, your unpacking, we can spend the entire week in bed, leaving only to eat and shower. Doesn’t that sound better than staying in bed today and putting everything off until tomorrow?”

Harry stared into Remus’ eyes and smiled. He reached up to brush a kiss over Remus’ mouth. “Well, when you put it that way….”

Remus laughed and stood, leaving Harry’s trousers lying beside him. “Come find me when you’re dressed.” Remus left Harry lying in bed and stood outside the room for a few minutes listening to the rustle of bedclothes as Harry finally got out of bed. He smiled and quickly found the book Harry had mentioned Snape recommending last month. The wards wouldn’t take long to set, but they would require a great deal of concentration and energy. Remus only hoped that Harry was prepared for what needed to be done.

****  
Remus sat at his desk finishing the final few edits for his manuscript. The wards had gone up more quickly than he had expected and Remus had had to admit that Severus had some nasty tricks up his sleeve that he was willing to share and had to wonder what tricks Severus had that he was unwilling to share. Remus was only glad that he had offered to help them instead of offering his help to anyone else. He frowned at a particular passage that his editor had marked and reconsidered it before making some changes and looking for the next marked passage. Remus glanced through the rest of the manuscript and smiled. That was the last one. He rolled the scroll up and placed it with the others in the box the editor had provided for their return. He would owl them tomorrow and finally be done with the silly thing.

Remus stood and stretched. A quick glance at the clock in the corner showed it was later than he had thought. He had expected Harry to interrupt him long before now. Remus glanced around the room and frowned. Harry had disappeared. The last he had seen him, Harry was lying on the sofa, nearly asleep, with a book on his lap. Harry had been surprised at the fatigue that putting up the wards had given him. He hadn’t even argued when Remus had encouraged him to sit still after supper while Remus finished his work. Remus walked around the room, putting out candles and banking the fire. He checked Harry’s old bedroom, though he knew that Harry wasn’t in there. Remus entered his bedroom, their bedroom now, and stopped in the doorway.

Harry lay under a light summer blanket, a book resting upside down on his chest, his glasses still perched on his nose. A solitary candle cast light over his face, gilding his face and casting shadows over him. Remus stood and stared, swallowing heavily against the tightness that spread through his chest. He walked into the room and took the book from Harry’s chest. Remus glanced at the title and smiled. It was Murray’s book, the one that Harry had been reading at Christmas, the same one that had made him so angry at Dumbledore and McGonagall. He removed Harry’s glasses, pausing as Harry shifted slightly before settling again, and placed them beside Harry’s wand on the table. He undressed quickly and slipped under the covers beside Harry. Harry turned toward him in his sleep, reaching across the sheets toward him. Remus took his hand and held it until Harry settled again before reaching across Harry and pinching out the candle. Remus lay beside Harry, listening to his breath, gripping his hand, and slowly drifted off to sleep.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Remus continue to settle into their relationship.

Remus woke with a start, uncertain of what had disturbed his sleep. He laid still, his eyes still closed, and listened intently for any disturbance. A soft sound came from nearby. Remus kept his breath steady and looked through his lashes. Judging from the light pouring through the windows, it was morning, but not too late. He glanced to the side and opened his eyes wide before bursting into laughter. Harry glanced over.

“What’s so funny?”

Remus sat up and plucked the book Harry was reading from his hands. “ _The Joys of Gay Sex_.” Remus sat up against the headboard beside Harry. “Studying?”

Harry flushed and nodded. “You didn’t wake me up last night,” he whispered.

Remus looked up from the manual. “I didn’t want to. You needed to rest.”

“What about you?”

Remus started thumbing through the book he held. “What about me?”

“Did you sleep alright?”

Remus looked over at Harry and smiled. “I’ve rarely slept better. Have you been awake long?”

Harry shook his head. “Not too long. I didn’t want to wake you.”

“You didn’t. Are you hungry? I went to the market before – my God, this thing is illustrated.” Harry glanced over Remus’ shoulder and blushed. Remus glanced at Harry and smiled. “Are you alright?” Harry nodded. “Do you want some breakfast?” Harry shrugged. Remus shut the book and handed it back to him. “I’m going to make some tea and shower.” Remus stood and walked to the door, paused, and turned back to Harry. He leaned over him and kissed him, deepening the kiss a moment before pulling away. “Good morning, Harry.”

Remus walked out of the room, well aware that Harry was watching him. He stood at the kitchen counter, breathing deeply for a few minutes, before he started the tea. Behind him he heard Harry enter the main room and move to the small water closet. Remus closed his eyes for a moment. Harry was so uncertain. Remus knew that Harry wanted him, wanted to be with him in every way possible, but he had been rejected so often, had never really been loved. He smiled sadly. They had that in common. But Harry was home to stay now. They had time to become comfortable with each other. And Remus would do everything in his power to make sure that Harry felt safe here.

Remus finished making the tea and checked the cold keep for possible breakfast foods. He heard the shower turn off and started sausages on the stove. Harry entered the kitchen a few minutes later and Remus breathed in his scent before turning and smiling. “Do you mind watching these while I shower?”

Harry smiled and moved to the stove. Remus touched his hand lightly and moved past him toward the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and leaned against it for a moment, his eyes closed. Remus smiled; Harry’s scent was still strong in here. He was finally starting to feel like he was home, something he hadn’t felt since James had owled him so many years ago. Harry was safe and here. Remus smiled and moved toward the shower.

****  
Harry and Remus shared a quiet breakfast and quick cleanup of the kitchen. Harry watched quietly as Remus wrote a quick note to his editor and tied the note and edited manuscript to Hedwig’s leg. Hedwig nipped his finger affectionately and Remus smiled and stroked her breast before opening the door and sending her off. He watched her clear the trees to the side of the house before turning to Harry.

Harry stared at him, his arms crossed over his chest. Remus walked up to him and tried not to smile when Harry uncrossed his arms and backed up a step. Remus took one of Harry’s hands and led him around to sit on the sofa.

“Tell me about your NEWTs.” Remus sat down and pulled Harry down beside him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and holding Harry close.

Harry relaxed slightly. “They went okay. I think. I mean, I did good on Defense Against the Dark Arts, Charms, and Transfiguration. I probably did alright in Care of Magical Creatures and Herbology, but I don’t know about Potions.”

“Didn’t Severus tutor you in Potions?”

Harry grinned wryly. “He did until January.”

Remus smiled and squeezed Harry’s shoulder. “How were your class scores in Potions?”

“They were fine. Not that good, but I passed.”

“Tell me a little more about the hearing.”

Harry smiled and told Remus about McGonagall and Sprout twitching at the hearing and the way that Snape struggled not to smirk at them. “The next day, Snape made me talk to Dumbledore.”

Remus frowned. “What do you mean?”

Harry sighed and laid his head on Remus’ shoulder. “He cornered me after dinner and made me go up to Dumbledore’s office. He apologized.”

“Severus apologized?”

Harry chuckled. “No, Dumbledore apologized. He claimed that he hadn’t meant it to go as far as it did but by the time he noticed what was going on he couldn’t stop it.” Remus snorted and Harry continued. “He said he was just worried about what was going on in my head.”

“Mmhmm. Did you believe him?”

“I don’t know. I think he really does feel bad about how I was treated. And he was angry and disappointed that I stood up to him.” Harry sighed. “Maybe he was sincere. I mean, Snape was a Death Eater. He chose to serve Voldemort, but Dumbledore forgave him. And they were awfully chummy last term. And Snape was on my side.”

“Are you sure?”

Harry smiled and snuggled against Remus, putting his feet on the table in front of the sofa and laying a hand on Remus’ thigh. “If there’s anything about this whole mess I’m sure of it’s that Snape was on my side and he thought everyone else was a pack of idiots.”

Remus laughed and propped his feet beside Harry’s. “Severus has always been more than willing to let others know when they’re idiots. Are you still mad at them?”

“No,” Harry sighed. “Just disappointed. I was angry.”

“No doubt about that.” Remus grinned.

Harry smiled. “But it got to be so stupid. I just don’t know what they were expecting me to do. It’s like they were just waiting for my eyes to start glowing and horns to sprout from my head.”

“At least your hair would have hid the horns,” Remus teased.

“Hey.” Harry pushed gently against Remus.

Silence fell for a few minutes. Harry rested against Remus and closed his eyes. Remus pressed a kiss to Harry’s brow. “Why didn’t you want Ron and Hermione to have access through the wards?”

Harry shifted slightly. “What?”

“Yesterday when we were putting up the wards. I asked if you wanted Ron and Hermione to have access and you said no. Why not?”

Harry sighed. “I don’t know. I just didn’t.”

“You know why you didn’t.”

“I just don’t, okay?”

“They’re your friends, Harry. They can’t visit at all now unless we alter the wards. Why don’t you --”

“Because I don’t want them to!” Harry twisted out of Remus’ grasp, scooted to the edge of the sofa and turned to faced him. “I don’t want them to visit. I don’t want anyone to come here. If I want to see them I’ll go and see them.”

Remus stared. “Alright, Harry. Don’t get upset.”

Harry closed his eyes. Remus pulled him back to his side. Harry curled against him and laid his head on Remus’ chest.

“I just don’t want anyone else here. I just want you and me to be here.”

Remus smiled and lifted Harry’s face. “That’s what I want, too.”

“Then why did you keep asking about Ron and Hermione?”

“Because I wanted to be sure that that’s what you wanted as well.”

Harry scowled. “You can make things very difficult, you know.”

Remus laughed. “But what fun would it be if everything were easy?”

Harry sighed and tried to lower his head to Remus’ shoulder, but Remus tightened his grip on Harry’s jaw. Harry stared, his lips parting at the look in Remus’ eyes. He licked his lips nervously, and Remus’ eyes flared at the movement and seemed to be the catalyst that Remus needed. He pulled Harry’s face to his and kissed him, gently at first, but as Harry leaned in to him, Remus deepened the kiss. Harry moaned and shifted impatiently and Remus pulled him closer and stretched out on the couch, pulling Harry to lie on top of him. Remus cupped the back of Harry’s head with one hand and rested the other in the small of his back. Harry shifted slightly and Remus groaned. Harry pulled away from the kiss and looked down at Remus.

“Remus?”

Remus kept his eyes closed and didn’t move.

“Remus?” Harry shifted again and bit his lip as their groins pressed together.

Remus shook his head and pulled Harry’s mouth back down to his. Harry resisted a moment but eventually let Remus claim his mouth again.

Remus ran his hands along Harry’s sides, cupping his hips briefly before sliding his hands down Harry’s thighs to his knees. He pulled on Harry’s legs until Harry’s knees were braced on either side of Remus’ hips. Harry whimpered as Remus grasped his hips again and pulled his hips down to rub their erections together. Remus guided Harry’s motions, thrusting their cocks against each other through their trousers. Harry whimpered again when Remus pushed Harry away slightly and they broke contact. Remus slipped his hands between their bodies and unfastened Harry’s trousers, pushing a hand inside to palm Harry’s cock through his underpants. Harry bit down on Remus’ tongue. Remus’ hand tightened on his cock and Harry jerked his mouth from Remus’. Remus relaxed his grip and pulled Harry’s mouth back to his. Remus stroked Harry’s cock through his pants a few times before pushing his hand beneath the waistband to touch Harry’s cock. Harry whimpered again and Remus grinned against his mouth. Remus began stroking Harry in earnest and Harry leaned his head against Remus, concentrating on Remus’ hand on his cock more than the kiss. Remus sucked on Harry’s tongue and kept stroking. Harry thrust against Remus only a few times before he was gasping and coming. Remus released Harry’s tongue and grinned when Harry whimpered and pressed his face against the side of Remus’ neck. Remus continued rubbing Harry’s cock until Harry’s hips stopped jerking against him and his cock began to soften.

Harry panted against Remus’ neck, his eyes closed, his hands grasping at Remus’ shoulders. Remus pulled his hand from Harry’s trousers and pulled Harry’s hips against his own again. Harry jerked once when he felt Remus’ erection pressing against him, but Remus held him firmly and whispered soothing words into his ear until Harry relaxed against him again. Remus stroked Harry’s nape with his fingertips and Harry shivered involuntarily.

“Remus?”

Remus hummed a question.

“Do you, um… would you like to, um….”

Remus smiled. “Would I like to what?”

Harry was silent for so long Remus almost thought he had fallen asleep. Just as he started to shift Harry so he could sit up, Harry thrust his hips against Remus’.

“Would you like to do something about that?”

Remus closed his eyes and bit back a moan at the motion. Harry thrust against him again and laughed quietly. Harry’s warm form disappeared from over him and Remus opened his eyes. Harry stood in front of the couch, his trousers open, his half hard cock peeking out his trousers, and held a hand out to Remus.

“Come on, Remus. It’ll be better if we can stretch out a bit.”

Remus stared at Harry’s lazy smile and took his hand, allowing Harry to pull him to his feet and lead him into the bedroom. Harry stopped beside the bed and turned to face Remus. He touched Remus’ face, his shoulder, ran his hand down Remus’ arm to clasp his hand again. Remus pulled him forward and cupped his jaw, kissing him hungrily, sliding his hands under the waistband of Harry’s trousers to cup his ass and pull their groins together. Harry moaned and pulled out of the kiss, stepping back slightly. Remus frowned and reached for him, but Harry smiled and pushed his hands aside.

“Just let me do this.” Harry stepped forward and pushed his hands underneath Remus’ shirt to rest lightly on his waist. “Trust me?”

Remus frowned, but nodded. Harry’s smile grew and he pulled his hands from under Remus’ shirt and unbuttoned it quickly. He ran his hands over Remus’ warm skin, tracing the scar on his torso lightly, brushing over his nipples and returning to them with a grin at Remus’ hiss. Harry pressed a kiss to the base of his throat and pushed the shirt off Remus’ shoulders, letting it fall to the floor, and stepped back to gaze at Remus. Remus stood calmly under the perusal, but his fists clenched with the effort it took not to reach for Harry. Harry grinned and pulled his own shirt over his head before stepping up to Remus again and pressing kisses along his jaw before Remus captured his mouth with his own. He pulled Harry to him and devoured his mouth. Harry allowed Remus to control the kiss for several minutes before breaking the kiss and pulling away. Remus growled and tried to pull Harry to him again, but Harry grinned and shook his head before pushing Remus down to sit on the edge of the bed and kneeling in front of him.

“Please let me do this.” Harry flushed lightly but didn’t turn away from Remus’ gaze. “Let me try at least. Please?”

Remus swallowed another growl and nodded. He would let Harry try. And he would try not to let his dominant nature take control of the encounter.

Harry smiled and turned his attention to Remus’ shoes and socks, caressing his feet as he bared them. He crawled forward, pressing his way between Remus thighs, offering his mouth for another kiss. Remus eagerly complied, licking and nipping at Harry’s lips before thrusting his tongue inside. Harry clung to Remus’ shoulders and barely noticed when Remus pulled him onto the bed to lie beside him. Harry only managed to break away from the kiss when Remus’ hand slid beneath the loosened waistband of his trousers again. Harry grabbed Remus’ hand and smiled when it curled into a fist and Remus growled. Remus jerked his hand from Harry’s grasp and rolled away slightly. Harry shifted and knelt beside him.

“Remus?”

“Just a minute, Harry.” Remus’ eyes were closed; he lay still, panting slightly, trying to regain control over his instincts.

“Maybe this wasn’t a good idea.”

Remus eyes flew open at Harry’s words. Harry knelt beside him but his gaze was turned toward the window. “What do you mean?”

Harry shrugged and turned to stare at the pillow beside Remus’ head. “I just wanted to try…. I mean, you always, and I….” Harry sighed and sat down to lean against headboard. “I just wanted to try, but you…. And I’m not very good at it.”

Remus grimaced and sat up beside Harry. “You’re better than you think.” Remus took Harry hand between his own. “Am I too domineering?” Harry shook his head. “Do you want to be more dominate?” Harry shook his head again. Remus frowned. “Then what is this about?”

Harry shrugged again but Remus’ gaze. “I just wanted to… you know.”

Remus smiled. “No, I don’t know.”

Harry blushed and sighed, but didn’t turn away. “I wanted to touch you and… stuff.”

“So why don’t you?”

Harry turned to look out the window. “I get distracted when you start touching me.”

Remus chuckled and touched Harry’s face, turning his face to look at him. “Why is that a problem?”

“I just wanted to….” Harry blushed and looked away again.

“Haven’t you been paying attention?” Remus asked softly. Harry frowned and met Remus’ eyes. “I enjoy touching you. I want nothing more than to be near you knowing that I can touch you and see your eyes light. I love watching you when I touch you; I love watching you come, hearing you gasp my name. Touching you, watching you, is enough for me.”

“It’s not enough for me,” Harry said softly.

Remus smiled and dropped his hand from Harry’s face. “Want to try again?” Harry’s gaze sharpened on Remus’ face.

“I don’t know. I just wanted… but then…. I want to touch you.”

Remus took Harry’s hands in his own and flattened them on his chest. “Then touch me.” Remus’ hands dropped away.

Harry watched Remus’ face a moment before turning to look at his hands on Remus’ chest. The contrast between his hands and Remus’ chest mesmerized him. His hands were tanned a light brown, whereas Remus’ chest was pale, save for the reddened scar on his side. Harry’s fingers traced the scar lightly, but Harry pulled his hand away anxiously when Remus flinched. Remus grabbed his hand and pulled it back to the scar. “It’s alright. Just tickled a bit.”

Harry smiled and traced the lines a bit more firmly. “How old were you?”

“Almost eight. It was right before my birthday.”

“How did it happen? How did you survive? It must have hurt like hell.”

“It did. I was on my way home. It was summer and the moon rose early that day. Mum always told me to be home before dark. I knew there were magical creatures around but…. I don’t remember much. It all happened so fast and I woke up a few days later and my Mum and Dad were hovering anxiously over me while a person I’d never seen waved a wand over me.” Remus smiled suddenly. “I don’t think they expected me to wake up just then.” His smile faded as quickly as it had appeared. “Mum started crying and I thought it was because she was relieved.”

Harry frowned. “They hoped you would die, didn’t they?”

Remus continued as if Harry hadn’t spoken. “The other person was someone from the ministry, I never knew his name. He gave my parents a list of procedures as long as my arm and said that a ministry official would return before the next full moon to make sure that everything was done properly. They never even really said what had happened, or what would happen. Mum left, but Dad said that I was going to be sick for a long time and that I had to be careful about where I went and who I touched. They never really let me out of the house again. They were so worried about what would happen to me if I were caught. Or what I would do to someone else.”

“Did they know about my Dad and Sirius? That you were friends?”

Remus shook his head. “I couldn’t bear to tell them. I was so afraid that they wouldn’t let me go back to school.”

“I’m surprised that they let you go to school at all.”

Remus smiled. “They wouldn’t have if Dumbledore hadn’t come himself to meet my parents.” Remus laughed. “The first time he stopped by I was outside in the back yard, reading. I looked up from my book and this old man was standing there smiling at me. He sat right down in the dirt and asked me what my name was and what I was reading.” Remus’ smile faded slowly. “He was my first real friend. If it hadn’t been for him I never would gone to Hogwarts.”

“You miss him.”

Remus shook his head. “He changed. Voldemort changed him. He isn’t the same man who sat in the dirt and talked to a nine year old boy. I miss who he used to be.”

Harry sighed and leaned down to press a kiss to Remus’ scar. Remus’ hands lifted to rest on Harry’s shoulders briefly before he forced them to his sides again. Harry grinned against Remus’ skin and began running his tongue over the twisting lines of scar tissue. Remus’ breath hitched and Harry swallowed another grin and moved his attention to Remus’ nipples. He hesitated a moment, uncertain of what to do or what Remus would like, but finally settled for licking at one while pinching the other. When Remus’ breath hitched when he bit down, Harry smiled again and switched sides. He continued to lave attention on Remus’ chest until he noticed that Remus was oddly still and his fists were clenched in the bedclothes. Harry glanced up at Remus’ tense face and swallowed heavily before turning his attention to Remus’ stomach. He nibbled at Remus’ stomach, feeling the muscles twitch underneath his mouth. He dipped his tongue into Remus’ belly button and grasped Remus’ hips when he started to shift against his mouth. Harry ran his tongue along Remus’ waistband before he lifted his head to look at Remus’ face. Remus was staring back at him through lidded eyes, panting slightly. The muscles in his arms stood out in sharp relief and Harry was certain they’d find holes in the sheets later from Remus’ grip on them. Harry’s hands moved to the clasp on Remus’ trousers.

“Can I…?”

Remus nodded once, jerkily, and closed his eyes as Harry’s fingers unfastened his trousers quickly. He felt Harry pause, but then resolutely shift his hands beneath his waistband. He lifted his hips at Harry’s tug and opened his eyes to watch Harry push his trousers over his hips, pausing with a sheepish look at Remus, and then screwing up his courage to pull Remus’ trousers completely off and flinging them over the edge of the bed. Harry knelt beside Remus’ knees and, starting at his toes, made a complete visual circuit of Remus’ body. Harry’s breath grew shallow, and a flush stained his cheeks. His hands trembled as he lifted them to Remus’ thighs, but Harry’s touch was firm as he ran his hands along Remus’ thighs to his hips. Remus held his breath as Harry lowered his head to hover over his erection. Remus closed his eyes as he felt Harry’s breath ghost over him, and swallowed a moan when he felt it disappear. He opened his eyes when he felt the bed shift and watched as Harry settled onto his side, his head near Remus’ hip. Harry braced his head on one hand and lifted the other to hover over Remus’ cock a moment before settling over his balls.

“Um, I’d really like to… but I’m not sure, um, how, exactly, to, er….”

Harry continued petting Remus gently. Remus managed to uncurl one fist from the bedclothes and covered Harry’s hand with his own, cupping their hands together around his balls in a grip that was slightly more satisfactory than Harry’s gentle petting.

“You’ll have to be a bit more specific than that,” Remus panted.

Harry’s face burned a bit more and he shifted to rise partly up on his knees, his head still near Remus’ hips. Remus shifted his thighs apart when Harry forced one of his knees between Remus’. Harry’s other hand lifted to Remus’ cock, stroking a few times before holding the base firmly. Harry licked his lips. Remus whimpered. Harry shot a nervous glance at Remus’ face.

“Tell me if I do this right,” Harry whispered just before he lowered his mouth to wrap his lips around the head of Remus’ cock. Remus’ hand rested on Harry’s head, but he resisted the impulse to force Harry’s head down further onto his cock. Remus shifted his legs apart, holding Harry’s head where it was when Harry made a move as if to lift off him.

“Harder.” Remus gasped as Harry obediently sucked harder and shifted to lie between Remus’ legs. “Use your hand.” Harry glanced up at him and obediently brought his hand into play, stroking Remus’ cock. Harry tried to open his mouth wider and take more of Remus in, but Remus’ fisted both hands in Harry’s head and held him steady. “Just there. That’s fine.” Remus rasped out, still resisting the impulse to force himself into Harry’s mouth. He had never done this before and Remus didn’t want to shock or hurt Harry, though he was a bit shocked himself. He would never have expected Harry to want to do such a thing for him, especially only two days into their physical relationship. Remus felt his climax approach and tightened his hands in Harry’s hair. Harry glanced up at him from under his lashes, but didn’t shift his head. “Harry, stop.” Harry shook his head slightly and lowered his gaze, tightening his hands on Remus’ cock and balls, keeping the suction steady on his cock. Remus pulled on Harry’s hair again. “Harry, I’m going to….” Remus gasped and felt his balls tighten when Harry, instead of moving away and using only his hand, sucked harder. Remus’ hands clenched in Harry’s hair and he came with a hoarse shout into Harry’s mouth. Remus collapsed against the headboard, leaning his head back and closing his eyes when he felt Harry finally release his cock from his mouth and rest his forehead on Remus’ thigh.

Remus was still for several minutes. When he finally opened his eyes and looked at Harry, he hadn’t moved either. Remus touched Harry’s head gently.

“Harry? Are you alright?” Harry lifted a hand and patted Remus’ stomach absently. “Harry, what…? Do you need…?”

Harry finally lifted his head, his face bright red, and smiled at Remus. “I’m fine.” Harry cleared his throat and, if possible, turned even redder. “Did I, um, was that okay?”

Remus smiled and dragged Harry’s face to his own, swallowing his gasp of surprise as his mouth feasted on Harry’s, relishing the taste of his seed on Harry’s tongue. When the kiss broke, Harry leaned his forehead against Remus’ jaw.

“So that was okay?”

Remus laughed, wrapped his arms around Harry and guided them down to lie side by side. “You’re wonderful. But why did you?”

Harry frowned. “Why did I what?”

Remus touched his thumb to the corner of Harry’s swollen mouth. “Why did you want to do that? You didn’t have to.”

Harry shrugged one shoulder. “I just did. Is that alright? Do you not like it?”

Remus smiled. “Of course I do. I’m just wondering why. We only became intimate yesterday.”

Harry shrugged again and rested his head on Remus’ shoulder. “I was curious. And I wanted to do it.”

Remus pressed a kiss to Harry’s head and ran a hand down his side and underneath Harry’s waistband. “Want me to help you out?”

Harry mumbled something into Remus’ neck, and Remus frowned at the heat he felt from Harry’s face.

“What?” Remus’ hand continued its exploration into Harry’s trousers, and he frowned as he encountered a soft cock. “Harry?”

Harry shifted only enough so that his voice was muffled against Remus’ skin when he spoke. “I came already.”

Remus pushed Harry back enough to see his face. “On the couch. Didn’t you…. I’m sorry, Harry.”

“What?”

Remus sighed and smoothed Harry’s hair away from his forehead, his fingers absently tracing his scar. “You obviously didn’t like giving me head.”

Harry grimaced and flushed. “That’s not what I meant.”

“What did you mean?” Remus frowned and held Harry still when he would have hidden his face again. “Harry?”

“I did like it. I came right after you did.”

Remus stared for a moment, running his hand through Harry’s hair, before he smiled and started laughing. Harry jerked away from Remus’ hand and pressed his face against Remus’ neck again. Remus pushed his hand into Harry’s trousers again to cup his hand around Harry’s buttock. “Can I take your trousers off?” Harry shrugged. Remus chuckled and moved away to pull Harry’s trousers off and tossed them to the floor. He pulled a summer blanket from where it had fallen to the floor and pulled it over them as he settled again at Harry’s side. Harry snuggled against him, weaving one arm underneath Remus’ to curl along his back. Remus pulled him close, wrapping his own arm around Harry’s shoulder.

Remus kissed Harry’s ear. “Are you alright?” Harry nodded. “Do you need something to drink?” Harry tensed slightly but shook his head. “Harry…?”

“Can we just lie here a bit?”

“Of course. As long as you like. Are you…?”

Harry placed his fingers over Remus’ lips, stilling the flow of words. “Shh. Let’s just lie here a bit.”

Remus kissed Harry’s fingers and smiled. Harry smiled in return and ducked his head beneath Remus’ chin.


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little reality intrudes on Remus' and Harry's life.

Remus watched Harry from the corner of his eye as Harry prepared dinner five nights later. Harry had wanted to take over all of the cooking and cleaning chores, but Remus had insisted that they take turns cooking, though Harry had proven to be very stubborn on the point of cleaning up. It worried Remus a bit, knowing what he did about how the Dursleys had treated Harry before he had received his Hogwarts letter. But Harry never complained and tended to push Remus away when he tried to help. So instead, Remus would retreat to his desk in the living room and scan the notes he had made about another book he was considering writing, provided the first one did as well as his editor believed it would. He sat there now, watching Harry remove roasted chicken from the oven, and considered the best way to talk to him. He knew Harry would balk, but he also knew that he couldn’t allow Harry to remain with him over the next few days. Remus closed his eyes and rubbed his face irritably. He turned and forced a smile on his face when Harry touched his shoulder gently.

“Alright?”

Remus nodded and stood. “I’m fine. A bit tired since I haven’t been getting much sleep lately.” Remus laughed at Harry’s blush and pulled him into a quick hug. “Not that I mind,” he murmured as he stole a quick kiss. “Is dinner ready?”

Harry nodded and led the way to the table. They ate quietly and quickly; Harry was an excellent cook, proof that the Dursleys had been good for something when it came to raising Harry. Remus started to stand and help Harry with clean-up, but was pushed back down into his chair and cup of tea was shoved into his hand. Harry smiled and carried their few dishes to the sink. Remus watched Harry, knowing he was making him uncomfortable under his stare, but unable to look away. Questioning glances were thrown his way, and Remus just smiled and waited.

“You’ve been staring at me all afternoon.” Harry’s voice was soft, but carried clearly from where he stood near the sink.

“Yes,” Remus answered shortly and took a sip of tea.

Harry turned and leaned against the counter. “Is there something you wanted to say?”

Remus sighed and set his tea aside. “Yes, Harry, there’s something important I need to tell you.”

Harry’s mouth twisted. “I’m not going to like it, am I?”

“I doubt it, but it’s important.”

Harry threw the dish towel he had been twisting in his hands aside and sat across from Remus. “Okay. So what is it?”

Remus pressed his palms to the table surface before looking up at Harry. “The full moon is on Thursday.”

“Do you need help with the Wolfsbane potion?” Harry asked quickly.

Remus grimaced at the interruption and turned his attention to his hands. “No, Severus has been making the potion for me. He’ll be sending it tomorrow.”

“Oh, well, that’s nice. I could maybe try and make it some time. If I did well enough on my Potions Newts I don’t see why I couldn’t --”

“Well, we can talk about that later,” Remus interrupted. “And it’s very difficult to make and it might be best if Severus continued to make it. That’s not what I want to talk about.” He took a deep breath. “Despite the potion, I don’t think it’s a good idea that you’re here during the full moon.”

Remus held his breath and waited for Harry to comment. The silence stretched between them and Remus eventually looked up. Harry stared back at him, his face devoid of expression.

“I thought you trusted Snape’s potion.”

“I do, but --”

“So why can’t I stay?” Harry interrupted.

“I would feel better if you weren’t here. Each potion is different --”

“You trusted him enough to make the potion when you taught at Hogwarts. And all through the war he made the potion for you,” Harry continued stubbornly.

“I locked myself up after I took the potion, before the transformation, when I taught. Sirius was with me many times during my transformation during the war, and when he wasn’t I locked myself up.”

“Okay. So why do I have to leave?”

“I don’t want to take the risk of hurting you. It’s not that --”

“I thought --”

“Would you let me finish a bloody sentence!” Harry’s head jerked as if he had just been slapped. Remus took another deep breath and reached for calm. “It’s not that I don’t trust Severus, or the potion. Every potion is different, and I can feel the difference when I transform. Sometimes I don’t feel completely... right. I feel as if it would take very little for me to harm someone.”

“I’m an adult, Remus,” Harry remarked softly. “I can take care of myself.”

Remus sighed. “It’s not a question of whether you can take care of yourself.”

“I stayed here last summer during the full moon.”

“Because I didn’t want to send you off by yourself. I considered sending you to the Weasley’s, and I almost thought you would stay there without my asking. There wasn’t a lot of time to argue about it last year.”

“I don’t understand why it’s such a big deal. You’re taking the potion, I’m an adult --”

“I don’t want you here during the full moon! Why is that such a difficult concept?” Remus closed his eyes and clenched his fists in his lap. “It’s not enough that I take the potion.”

“You don’t think I can take care of myself.”

“It’s not a question of you taking care of yourself. I know you’re more than capable, but most wizards have no defense against an angry, fully grown werewolf.”

“The Wolfsbane potion helps with that.”

Remus’ and Harry’s tea cups rattled as Remus slammed his hands down on the table. “Why do I have to keep repeating myself! The potion is not enough!”

“Why can’t you let me make this decision for myself?”

“Because it’s not up to you to make this decision. It’s my decision to make. You don’t know enough about this to decide anything.”

Harry’s eyes narrowed. “Is that why we haven’t had sex properly?”

Remus frowned. “What?”

“Is this why you haven’t fucked me?” Harry asked angrily. “Because I’m not old enough to make my own decisions?”

“I’m not saying you’re not old enough to make your own decisions. I’m telling you that this is not your decision to make. Having sex has nothing to do with full moon.”

“It is when you’re not letting me decide in either instance.”

“The two are not related in anyway. I don’t want to force you to do something you’re not ready for.”

“But you’re forcing me to leave you alone when I don’t want to!”

“Because I don’t want you here!” Remus repeated angrily. “This is my decision, my choice of whether you’re here or not!”

Harry pushed away from the table. “Then I’ll just go.” He strode angrily toward the door. Remus stood and followed, but Harry stayed just out of his reach and ignored Remus’ attempts to catch his attention. As soon as he reached the small porch he apparated away. Remus stood staring at the spot where Harry had stood only seconds before, before apparating to the Weasley’s house, where he assumed Harry had gone. His anger curled around him as he glanced around the yard, but Harry was nowhere to be seen. Panic welled up in him, and he banged loudly on the door, nearly screaming for Harry to come out and face him. Molly answered the door with a frown.

“Remus, whatever is --?”

“Is Harry here?” Remus interrupted quickly.

“No, I haven’t seen him since Christmas. I kept expecting the two of you to drop by. I was going to send… Remus what is it?”

“Oh, God.” Remus felt the color drain from his face and fought against the nausea swelling in his stomach. “He’s gone.”

Molly grabbed Remus’ arm and steered him inside and into the kitchen. “Just calm down now.” She pushed him gently into a chair, frowning when he covered his face with his hands and patted him awkwardly on the back. “I’ll fix you a cup of tea.”

Remus hadn’t moved in the time that Molly had fixed the tea. She set a cup in front of him and touched his arm gently. “Remus, what’s happened?”

Remus lowered his hands to his lap and Molly gasped at the stark expression on his face. “He left. I thought he came here. Ron’s here. I thought he would come to his friend. I don’t know where he is.”

“I take it you two fought?” Molly asked gently.

Remus nodded. “I didn’t mean to say it. But I did and he left, just like I told him to.”

“He’ll be back, dear,” Molly said, patting his hand gently.

Remus shook his head. “I told him to leave. I said it. That’s not what I meant.”

Molly frowned. “Remus, dear, I’m sure he knew you didn’t mean it.”

“I did mean it. I said I didn’t want him there. I mean during the full moon. But I told him to leave. He did what I asked.”

Molly laid an arm across his shoulders. “He’ll be back, Remus. It’ll be alright. He knows what you meant.” Molly smiled sadly “You fought. You were both angry. He’ll calm down and he’ll be back.”

Remus rested his head in one hand. “Molly, I don’t….”

“Shh,” Molly hushed him gently. “Don’t worry so, Remus. Everyone fights. It doesn’t mean you don’t still love each other. Arthur and I have had several splendid rows over the years, but we still love each other and we always will. You’ll see. Harry will be back before you know it and you’ll make up and discuss what’s going to happen at the full moon like the two adults you are.”

Remus nodded absently and sat up to take a drink of tea. “Ron’s not here?”

Molly chuckled and lifted her own cup of tea. “No, he’s out with Hermione. Ginny’s helping George and Fred at their shop, but she should be back before too long. I don’t expect Ron back until after we’ve all gone to bed.”

Remus nodded and wiped his sweaty palms on his trousers legs. “If Harry….”

Molly nodded and squeezed Remus’ arm gently. “If Harry comes by I’ll be sure to send him right along back to you. But he’ll probably go back on his own as soon as he calms down.” Molly glanced at the clock in the corner and stood. “Arthur will be home soon. Would you like to stay for dinner? I’m sure he’d love to see you.”

Remus stood, shaking his head. “We already ate. I think I’ll just go home and wait.”

Molly smiled. “Of course, dear, but you’re welcome back any time. We’ll send an owl next week sometime with a proper invitation for you and Harry.”

Remus smiled in return. “Thank you, Molly.”

Molly chuckled. “You’re welcome, Remus. Try not to worry; everything will work out. You’ll see.”

Remus stepped outside and apparated home.

****   
Harry appeared into a blind alley of Diagon Alley, grateful that he hadn’t splinched himself, especially with the red haze that was clouding his vision. He stormed out into the street proper and, heedless of the thinning evening crowd, walked along the row shops, staring blankly into them, not noticing what he was looking at. Someone bumped into him and he turned to glare at them, only to have his vision obscured by brown, bushy hair.

“Ron, why on Earth did you push me?” Hermione turned to scowl at Ron, grinning just beyond her. Harry smiled and felt his anger slowly dissipate, his smile widening when Hermione turned back to him. “Excuse me, but my boyfriend – Harry! What are you doing here? Is Remus inside?” Hermione turned to glance at the window, frowning at the contents. “I can’t believe he’d want to buy anything here.”

Harry followed Hermione’s gaze and laughed at the display of antique owl perches that filled the window. “No, I don’t image that Remus would want to buy anything at Horatio’s Gilded Antiques. He’s not here.”

Ron snickered and threw an arm across Hermione’s shoulders. “Can’t believe he let you out of the house without him.”

Harry scowled. “Why wouldn’t he? I’m an adult; I can do what I like.”

Ron and Hermione stared at him a moment. “That’s not what I meant, Harry. It’s just it’s only been a week since we left school. Didn’t think you two would want to be away from each other just yet.”

Harry flushed, but relaxed slightly. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to bite your head off. We had a bit of a fight and I just needed to get away for a bit.”

“What did you – ow, Ron! What’s wrong with you?”

Harry laughed at Hermione’s outraged squawk when Ron pinched her side sharply.

“It’s none of our business what they fought about.” Ron turned to Harry. “Any plans for the evening?”

Harry shrugged “Not really. I just wanted to get away for a while.”

“Have you considered buying yourself some adult clothes?” Hermione eyed Harry’s ensemble critically.

Harry straightened his student robes with a jerk. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”

“Well, first of all, you’re not a student anymore.” Hermione answered dryly. “It’ll only take a few minutes to dress you as an adult. Madam Malkin’s will still be open for a while. Come on. Just a few grown-up robes.” Hermione looked him up and down. “A new cloak probably wouldn’t be amiss either.”

Ron grinned and stepped aside as Hermione grabbed a startled Harry and began pulling him down the street. “It’s no big deal, Harry. Hermione made me buy new clothes last week. Course, she told me I needed them so I could get a decent job. Just be glad she’s not giving you interview advice.”

“I’m sure it wouldn’t kill Harry to get a job eventually.” Hermione pushed Harry into Madam Malkin’s, grabbing Ron and pulling him inside before he could make good his attempted escape. “It’s not healthy to just sit around and act important.”

Hermione turned to the shop girl before Harry could say anything to that and began outlining what robes and cloaks Harry needed. Harry cast a desperate look at Ron, who grinned back unrepentantly, before he was pushed onto a small platform to be measured. It was forty-five minutes before Hermione was satisfied with what would soon be Harry’s new wardrobe and Harry was able to flee the shop before Hermione got any more notions into her head. Ron and Hermione followed him, their arms linked, as he walked as quickly as possible away from Madam Malkin’s. Ron and Hermione caught up to him as he entered Flourish and Blotts. The three wandered around the shop, Ron heading instinctively toward the Quidditch books, Hermione searching the charm books, and Harry found himself studying the potions books. If asked, he couldn’t have explained what drew him to these books, but he knew instinctively that what he wanted was there. He pulled several books off the shelf and settled on the floor to read.

“That’s a very advanced book, Harry.”

Harry whirled around and scowled when Hermione laughed at his startled expression.

“What are you doing, Harry?” Ron looked slightly panicked at finding Harry looking at potions books.

Harry shrugged and gathered a few books into his arms as he stood. “Potions aren’t so bad. And Hermione thinks I should have a hobby.”

“And isn’t it convenient that the Wolfsbane potion is described in several of those books?” Hermione said softly.

Harry shook his head and brushed by her. “I hadn’t noticed.”

“Of course you hadn’t.” Hermione rolled her eyes and threaded her arm through Ron’s again as they followed Harry toward the clerk at the back of the shop.

Harry stopped abruptly in front of a stack of books with a werewolf sniffing around the corners of the book. Harry stared a moment before stretching one hand toward the book on display. Hermione and Ron sidled up to either side of him.

“I haven’t seen this book before,” Hermione said softly.

“It’s brand new, just published earlier this week.” A salesclerk popped up out of nowhere and grinned winningly at them. “Quite an enlightening look at dark creatures. The publisher has high hopes about this book.” He plucked a book from the pile, opened it and handed it encouragingly to Harry. Harry passed his potions books off to Ron and took the book with an air of reverence to his motions. “As you can see, the author chooses to remain anonymous, but it hardly matters. I’ve only thumbed through the book myself, but I’ll tell you honestly that I was quite impressed with it. Whoever wrote this did a superb job and I’d wager that this book will soon be on the curriculum of several prominent wizarding schools, including Hogwarts.”

The clerk rambled on, trying to coax Ron and Hermione into looking through the book as well, but Harry ignored the chatter and flipped through the book, smiling absently at some of the illustrations, and caressing the pages gently. Harry shut the book with a snap and gathered his books from Ron. “Do you guys want a copy? My treat.”

Ron grinned and nodded; Hermione watched him with a frown, but nodded as well. Harry paid quickly and led the way out of the shop and down the street toward the Leaky Cauldron.

“What was that about, Harry?” Hermione asked.

“What?” Harry asked, frowning at Hermione.

“What’s the big deal with the book?”

“No big deal,” Harry said with a grin. “It’s a good book. I think you’ll like it.”

“You stared at it as if you’d found the Holy Grail,” Hermione persisted. “So give. What’s up with the book?”

“There’s nothing up with the book.”

“Harry…?”

“Just let it go, Hermione.” Ron interrupted before Hermione could work herself up anymore. “It looks like it’s a good book and in case you hadn’t noticed, there is a werewolf on the cover. It probably just caught Harry’s attention and then he looked at it. It’s probably better than that other Dark Creatures book that everyone sets such store by.”

Hermione sighed and subsided, but Harry couldn’t help but notice that she cast curious glances at him through the butterbeers and late supper they shared at the Leaky Cauldron. Harry laughed when Ron tried to talk Hermione into trying a Firewhiskey. Harry had turned down Ron’s offer as well, but watched as Ron manfully swallowed the entire shot, and laughed with Hermione when Ron chocked and breathed smoke afterward. It was late when they finally began to head home. Hermione and Ron walked close together; Harry turned away slightly, giving them some privacy. Hermione called good-bye and apparated to her parent’s house. Ron walked up to Harry and clapped him on the back.

“Are you heading home now?”

Harry stared at a streetlight avoiding Ron’s gaze.

“Harry?”

Harry shook himself and glanced at Ron. “I, um, I don’t know.”

“You want to stay at The Burrow tonight?”

Harry nodded, but didn’t relax.

“You don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to. But you know I’d be happy to listen.” Ron grinned suddenly. “And I won’t make any rash judgments like Hermione will.”

Harry smiled briefly.

“Come on. Things will look better in the morning.”

Harry nodded again and apparated with Ron to The Burrow.

****

Harry lay in bed and waited for Ron to finish in the bathroom. They had snuck into the dark and quiet house twenty minutes ago and Ron had let Harry have first turn in the bathroom. Ron opened the door to his room and stepped in quietly, shutting the door behind him, cursing softly when he stubbed his toe on something hidden in the dark. Harry stifled a chuckle, but Ron heard him anyway and threw a shoe at him. Harry laughed softly and sat up.

“How are you and Hermione doing?”

Harry heard Ron sigh and watched Ron’s shadow settle on the edge of his bed. “Alright, I suppose. She goes on and on and on about the classes she’s going to take at University. And she’s started nagging about when I’m going to find a job. I think she’s going to start hinting about getting married.”

Harry grinned at the panic that filled the last sentence. “I wouldn’t worry about that yet. I’m sure she’ll want to be done with University before she gets married.” Harry paused and listened as Ron shifted to lie underneath his bedclothes. “Ron, do you feel like an adult?”

“Huh? Whadda ya mean?”

Harry swallowed and waved a hand through the air before gripping his knee. “I mean, do you feel like… like… like you know what you’re doing. Like you think that everyone else should treat you like an adult.”

Harry watched as Ron’s shadow set up again. “Well, I guess. I mean, Mum and Dad still treat me like they always have. And Fred and George still treat me like I’m five, but they always will. But I mean, like tonight, when we were out, everyone treated us fine. And Mum and Dad don’t say anything when I come and go as I please.” Ron shrugged. “I guess they do. Why?”

Harry sighed and began twisting his sheets around his fingers. “I think, sometimes, that Remus still thinks I’m a child.”

“Really?” Harry heard the frown in Ron’s voice. “Do you really think that? Cause I don’t think he’s ever treated you like a child.”

“What? What do you mean?”

Ron sighed. “Remember when he taught us in third year? Remember how he treated us at the shack? He stood there, gave us our wands, and put his away. He spoke to us like we were adults, like equals. During the war, he always treated us like we had a right to be there and know what was going on. He may not have told us everything, but he told us, when we asked, what we needed to know.” Ron paused. “Do you think he’s treating you like a child? Because I can’t believe that.”

“I don’t know.”

Silence reigned for a few minutes while Harry considered what Ron had told him.

“What’s going on Harry?”

Harry shrugged. “He doesn’t want me around during the full moon.”

“Is that all?”

Harry glared at Ron, though the effect was mute in the darkened room. “What do you mean ‘is that all’? He’s not allowing me to make the decision on my own.”

“Shh, keep your voice down. Won’t matter if I’ve left school or not if Mum thinks I’m making too much noise in here” Ron said quickly before he continued. “The last thing that Remus would ever want is to hurt you, no matter how unintentional it is.”

“He won’t hurt me,” Harry protested. “He takes the Wolfsbane potion. Snape has been sending it since the war and he’s going to be taking it starting tomorrow.”

“Doesn’t mean he won’t be dangerous.”

“If Snape made the potion then he’ll be perfectly safe,” Harry said stubbornly.

“I know you think he’s a genius,” Ron ignored Harry’s snort at that comment, “but even potions masters can screw up sometimes. You know how difficult the Wolfsbane potion is.”

Harry sighed and lay back down.

“Is that it?” Ron asked after several minutes of silence.

“That’s most of it,” Harry answered softly.

“Don’t be so stupid,” Ron said lightly. “He only wants you to be safe. He’d sooner gnaw off his own leg than hurt you. Don’t ever think that Remus treats you as anything less than an equal, Harry. I’ve seen the way he acts around you. You’ve never been anything less than his equal, and you never will be. Unless, of course, you contract some kind of debilitating brain disease that turns you stupid and makes you drool all the time.”

Harry felt around the edge of the bed until he found the shoe Ron had thrown at him and threw it back. Ron laughed and lay down.

“You know that book I bought you guys?”

Ron snorted. “You mean the book you were drooling over? The book that held you in thrall for nearly twenty minutes in the middle of Flourish and Blotts? The book you refused to comment about, despite the looks that Hermione was throwing at you all night? That book?”

“Yes, that book, you prat.”

“What about it?”

“Remus wrote it.”

“What?”

“Remus wrote it. He spent all last year working on it. He finished the final edit last week.”

“Really? That’s really cool. Is it any good?”

“If I weren’t afraid of waking everyone in the house, I’d kick your arse for that comment, Weasley.”

Ron laughed softly. “So I guess it is good.”

“I read the rough draft for him at Christmas,” Harry said proudly. “It was amazing then. I’m sure it’s only gotten better.”

“Think he knows it’s for sale yet?”

“I can’t believe it’s already for sale. He just sent the final copy off to his editor last week.”

Ron snorted. “Magic, you idiot. How long do you think it takes to print a book using magic?”

Harry sighed and turned onto his side. “Do you think that Remus is going to be mad that I’m not home tonight?”

Ron snorted again. “I’m not going to answer any more of your stupid questions, Potter. Just shut up and let me sleep.”

Harry grinned. “Night, Weasley.”

“Night, Potter.”


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The full moon.

Harry trotted down the stairs behind Ron the next morning, stifling a yawn and absently scratching at his chest. The smell of breakfast spurred him on, but he was certain that the only thing that could have gotten him up so early after spending most of the night at the Leaky Cauldron was the thought of one of Mrs. Weasley’s breakfasts. He smiled at Mr. Weasley, who peeked over the Daily Prophet at him.

“Good morning, Harry. What are you doing here so early?”

Harry hid behind a yawn before answering. “Morning, Mr. Weasley. Hope you don’t mind if I join you for breakfast.”

“Of course, not, Harry. You’re always welcome here, you know that.” Mr. Weasley smiled and raised the paper again as Mrs. Weasley approached the table.

“I’m surprised you’re out and about so early, Harry. Did you and Remus have a chat last night?” Mrs. Weasley placed a platter of eggs, bacon and toast on the table and smiled as everyone dove in.

Harry smiled. “Not yet. I met Ron and Hermione in Diagon Alley and then stayed here last night.”

“You haven’t been home yet,” Mrs. Weasley’s voice was low and firm and Ron, Ginny and Mr. Weasley froze at the sound of it.

Harry glanced around at the expressions on the other’s faces. They avoided his eyes, but Harry caught a glimpse of panic and pity in their eyes. Harry looked up at Mrs. Weasley. “No, ma’am, I haven’t seen Remus since yesterday.”

“Harry James Potter!”

Harry’s heart leapt in his chest at Mrs. Weasley’s voice. He had heard that same voice directed at her children and husband over the years, but never at him. He began to understand why the Weasley children, for all their teasing, treated Mrs. Weasley with the utmost respect.

“What do you mean running off like that and not even thinking of letting Remus know that you’re alright? He came here yesterday looking for you, frantic because you just ran off. And now you’re sitting here, pleased as punch, while he’s worried sick about you at home.” Mrs. Weasley rounded the table and yanked Harry from his seat, pushing him toward the door. “You take yourself home right now and you apologize to Remus for how you’ve treated him. I don’t want to see you again unless you bring him along with you and you two convince me that you’ve talked about whatever it is that you’ve argued about.”

“Harry, wait!” Ron shouted behind them and then dashed out of the kitchen.

“Ronald Weasley, you better have a good excuse for making Harry wait on you. If you don’t you’ll be degnoming the garden all by yourself this morning!”

Harry stood on the stoop, eyeing Mrs. Weasley anxiously, as she stood nearby, hands set on her hips, her foot beating an angry tempo on the stone step. “Don’t you ever treat Remus like this again. The next time you two have a fight, you stay there, act like an adult, and you solve whatever problem you have.” She shook a finger at him and Harry retreated down the steps. “If you ever hurt him like this again, Harry James Potter, you will have to answer to me.”  
Ron reappeared quickly and pressed Remus’ book into Harry’s hands. “Don’t forget this. See you in a week or two.” Ron stepped back and smirked. Harry nodded and stepped into the yard.

“Ronald Weasley, just what was that?”

Harry disapparated before he heard Ron’s reply.

****  
Harry opened the door to the cottage slowly, not knowing whether he was going to face an empty house or get hit by a hex. The room was silent and Harry stepped inside, shutting the door behind him. A quick glance around showed everything as it had been last night when he left. Remus was sitting on the sofa facing the fireplace, his head in his hands. Harry swallowed and circled the sofa to stand in front of him.

“Remus?” Harry stepped back, gasping, when Remus’ lifted his head. Harry had never seen such a defeated look on a person before.

“Harry.” Remus’ voice was hoarse and Harry grimaced at the sound of it. “You came back.”

Harry smiled and knelt in front of Remus. “Of course, I did. Why would you think I wouldn’t?”

Remus stretched a tentative hand toward him, but didn’t touch him. Harry grabbed the hand and pulled it toward him. Remus gasped and knelt in front of Harry, grabbing him around the waist and pulling him into a fierce embrace.

“I’m sorry, Harry, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean it.”

Remus’ words tore at Harry’s heart. He wrapped his arms around Remus’ shoulders, holding his head against his stomach.

“Shh, Remus, don’t please,” Harry answered hoarsly. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m sorry. It was my fault. Please don’t, please stop this.”

Remus fell silent. He clutched Harry to him, and Harry resisted the urge to wriggle in his grasp.

“Remus, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left. But I should have come back last night after I did leave. I’m sorry.”

Remus leaned back, dropping his hands to grasp Harry’s hips. “Where did you go?”

Harry kept his arms around Remus. “I went to Diagon Alley.”

“You spent the night there?”

Harry bit his lip and shook his head.

“Where did you stay last night?”

“I ran into Ron and Hermione last night. I stayed at The Burrow.”

Remus pulled away from Harry’s grasp and stood. “I was worried about you.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” Harry took a step toward Remus and frowned when he stepped away. “But you said you wanted me to go so I did.”

Remus rubbed his forehead for a moment. “I don’t want to fight, Harry. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to blame you, but I didn’t sleep last night and… never mind. Did you eat breakfast at the Weasley’s?”

“No. Remus….”

Remus turned and walked into the kitchen. “Anything in particular you want to eat?”

Harry stared at Remus and didn’t answer. Remus fussed in the kitchen for a few minutes before he turned and looked questioningly at Harry.

“I don’t want breakfast. Can we talk? Please?” Harry shoved his hands in his pockets and stared at Remus, half afraid that he would walk away again. He released a quiet sigh when Remus turned and walked back to the sofa. Harry sat abruptly and stared up at Remus until he sat as well, though he left a foot of space between them.

Harry took a deep breath. “Remus, I’m sorry I left yesterday. I know I shouldn’t have, and I know I should have come back. I’m sorry I worried you.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Remus answered, shaking his head. “You did what I told you to.”

“I know that’s not what you meant,” Harry protested

Remus shook his head. “You were angry. We both were. It doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter!” Harry shouted. “Remus, stop shutting me out. Talk to me. You’re the only one who’s ever talked to me like….” Harry broke off abruptly, Ron’s words of the night before ringing through his mind. He blinked and noticed Remus was staring at him, waiting for him to continue. “You’re the only one that’s ever treated me like I’m an adult. Like I matter.” Harry scooted closer to Remus and laid a hand on his knee. “I’m sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean it. I love you. I want to be with you however you want me. I know there’s a reason for everything you do. I just wish you would explain it to me sometimes.”

Remus stared at Harry’s hand on his knee so intently that Harry almost jerked it away. Eventually, Remus’ hand curled around his. Harry closed his eyes in relief.

“I – Thank you. For coming back. For trying. I don’t… I’ve never had to do this before. I’ve never had to explain myself. I’m not sure I know how.”

“Just talk to me,” Harry whispered.

Remus nodded and settled back against the sofa. Harry hesitated a moment, but settled closer to Remus and laid his head on Remus’ shoulder. Remus sighed.

“About the full moon.” Harry stiffened and Remus held his silence until he felt Harry relax again. “I know that you’re strong and powerful, and I know you trust the Wolfsbane potion. I do too, most of the time. But I can’t stop remembering the end of your third year. I could have killed you. I could have killed or turned all of you, and if Sirius hadn’t been there…” Remus’ breath hitched. “If Sirius hadn’t been there I would have. If he hadn’t been an animagus, he wouldn’t have been able to stop me. When I think of that… when I remember how close I came to hurting you…. I can’t take that risk, Harry.”

Harry gripped Remus’ hand tightly. “I understand that you’re afraid. I can accept that you want to send me away because you don’t want to hurt me. But I can’t stand the thought of you being here alone. You said that it’s easier when you’re not alone. That when my father and Sirius were with you during school it wasn’t that bad. I’m not an amimagus. I probably never will be. But I can’t leave you alone. I can’t bear the thought of you changing alone. I saw how painful it was, Remus.” Harry sat up and turned to face Remus. “I was afraid of the wolf, I won’t deny that. But I remember hearing the crunch of bones and watching your face when you transformed. It wasn’t just fear I saw, Remus, it was pain. I can’t leave you to face that pain alone.”

“Harry…” Remus said with a breathy sigh.

“Can’t we do what we did last summer? I know you hated that I was here, and I stayed upstairs while you were locked in the basement, like a good little boy. But there’s a compromise in there somewhere.”

Remus smiled and pulled Harry to lean against him again. “I don’t want you to see me like that again,” he whispered.

“I don’t care,” Harry returned. “I know what you are and I don’t care or I wouldn’t be here. I care too much about you to let you go through that alone.”

Tapping at the door drew their attention. Remus squeezed Harry’s hand and stood, walking to the door to let an owl in. Remus fed the owl and watched as it settled on the perch beside Hedwig. Remus brought the package over and sat on the sofa beside Harry. Harry watched every movement as Remus slowly opened the package. Pungent fumes and steam began billowing out. Harry wrinkled his nose at the smell, but couldn’t help but notice that Remus was fighting the urge to gag. Remus took a deep breath, removed a goblet and swallowed the potion in one gulp. Remus let the goblet and the package fall from his hands, which curled into fists on his thighs. Harry touched his shoulder before leaning against him, stroking his arm. Remus slowly relaxed against Harry and they settled against the back of the sofa again, Remus leaning against Harry’s shoulder this time.

“I can never let you forget that I’m a monster, Harry,” Remus said hoarsely.

Harry snorted. “You’re only a monster one day a month, Remus.”

“But I always feel it. It’s stronger when the moon is waxing.” Remus looked into Harry’s eyes. “That’s why I haven’t ‘fucked you properly’. It’s taken a great deal to keep from pouncing on you. I wanted to wait until the pull wasn’t so strong, after the full moon. If I had thought you’d let me get away with it, I wouldn’t have touched you at all until next week.”

Harry laughed. “No, I would never have let you get away with that.” He sobered quickly and watched Remus. “You wouldn’t have hurt me. I wouldn’t have minded if you had fucked me before the full moon.”

“I mind, Harry.” Harry bit his lip and looked away. “I want the first time we make love to be good for you. I want to be gentle and prepare you properly and touch you and make sure you enjoy it. Harry.…” Remus took a deep, shaky breath. “Harry, I love you, and I want to protect you and make you happy. I can’t be certain of my actions during the waxing moon. That’s why I wanted to wait. That’s why I needed to wait.”

Harry turned to Remus so quickly he saw white spots in front of his eyes. “What?”

“I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Not that, the other thing you said.”

Remus laughed shortly. “I love you. I always have. I just… I don’t have a lot of practice saying it.”

Harry knew he had a ridiculous smile on his face, but he couldn’t help it. “I’ve been waiting for you to say that for so long.”

Remus smiled. “I know. I’m sorry I couldn’t say it before. I spent all last night cursing myself because I didn’t say it soon enough.”

“Remus, I will never leave you. And I won’t run out on an argument again. I felt like a fool after I left you last night and I was too afraid and embarrassed to come back.” Harry grimaced. “I wouldn’t be here now if Mrs. Weasley hadn’t yelled at me.”

Remus chuckled. “Then I’ll be sure and send her some flowers to thank her.” Remus’ laughter faded quickly. “We still haven’t decided about the full moon.”

Harry’s heart thrilled at the ‘we’ in that sentence. “We can do what we did last summer, right? You can take the potion and lock yourself in the basement. But I… I don’t want to leave you down there. I don’t want you to be alone.”

“Harry, I can’t be sure about the potion,” Remus said softly. “I don’t want to risk it.”

“You’ll know if it’s working, right?” Harry waited until Remus reluctantly nodded. “Then you can give me a signal or something. I’ll wait in the kitchen and if it doesn’t sound right I won’t open the door.” Harry waited for Remus’ nod, but it never came. “Remus, please, I swear I won’t open the door unless you give the signal. But I can’t just leave you down there. I don’t even want to leave you alone when you change.” Remus glared at Harry and he hurried on. “But I will. Let me at least be there when you change back.”

Remus closed his eyes and turned away. “I don’t like this.” Harry grinned. “I want you to ward the door after I go down.”

“Did you do that last year?”

Remus nodded. “You can’t know what it means that you want to be with me.”

“You’re not a monster, Remus. You never have been.” Harry smoothed Remus’ hair away from his cheek. “It’s just easier for other people to make you think you’re one. If they can convince you that it’s true then they don’t have to try and believe that it’s not true.”

Remus growled and leaned into Harry, pressing a hard, deep kiss onto him. Harry leaned into the kiss, tangling his tongue with Remus’. They shifted slowly, never breaking the kiss, until Harry lay on the sofa, Remus stretched over him. Remus had just pushed Harry’s robes from his shoulders when Harry’s stomach growled. Remus pulled away, laughing.

“Would you like some breakfast now?”

Harry grinned. “Not really, no.”

Remus laughed and rose from the sofa. Harry crawled up onto his knees and leaned over the back of the sofa and watched as Remus made breakfast. Harry knew that everything wasn’t okay between them, but it was better, and that was a start.

****

Harry paced around the kitchen, pausing in front of the cellar door every other circuit. The moon was going to rise in a few minutes. Remus had been downstairs for fifteen minutes and Harry had dutifully put up the wards after Remus had shut the door behind him. He scrubbed his hands over his face and checked his watch again. Harry growled and began his circuit of the kitchen again. Ten minutes later he stood at the basement door, pressing his ear against it, and listened for any sound from downstairs. Either Remus had placed a silencing charm on the basement at some point, or he had already changed and was recovering. Harry frowned and pressed closer to the door. If the potion hadn’t worked correctly, the werewolf would be able to smell Harry on the other side and would have been making a great deal of noise trying to get to him. And if Remus had put up a silencing charm then he had never intended to join Harry. Unless he had forgotten he had put it up and forgotten to take it down. It was possible that Remus had been barking at Harry for the past five minutes and he simply hadn’t heard him.

Harry stepped back and looked around the kitchen nervously. He nibbled on his lip and considered how angry Remus would be with him if he went ahead and opened the door without waiting for the signal. And why hadn’t he signaled? What if something had happened? What if there had been a problem with the potion? What if Remus was hurt? What if Remus needed him and he didn’t have any way to let Harry know? Harry clutched his wand in his hand and stepped back toward the door. His hand had just curled around the knob when a loud bark sounded from the other side. Harry jumped back and wiped his sweaty hand on his robe. He glanced around the kitchen again before opening the door.

A large, dark brown wolf with speckles of grey in his coat looked up at Harry. Harry swallowed as the wolf continued to stare at him silently. The wolf seemed to grin at Harry and Harry’s eyes narrowed slightly. The wolf snuffled and licked its snout before walking up to Harry and sniffing at his wand, still clenched in his fist. The wolf looked up at him again with a question in his eyes.

“What? You didn’t signal and I was worried.” The wolf barked quietly. “I was just listening at the door.” The wolf looked back at the door and turned to stare at Harry again. “I didn’t open it until you barked.” The wolf licked its snout. “I didn’t,” Harry protested anxiously.

The wolf huffed and turned away, walking toward the back door. Once there it turned and stared at Harry, still standing by the door to the basement. Harry rolled his eyes and walked over to Remus.

“This is going to be a long night.”

Remus huffed again and Harry swore he was laughing at him. He put his wand away, opened the door and they stepped outside.

Harry sat in the yard and watched as Remus walked the perimeter of the cottage, sniffing along the foundation, pausing occasionally to scan the forest. Remus disappeared around the back of the house and Harry waited patiently for him to return. Several minutes passed and Harry slowly got to his feet.

“Remus?” Harry walked around the house, expecting to meet the wolf on the other side. “Remus?” Harry yelled louder and walked completely around the house. “He ran off. After all of the arguing and planning, he just ran – oof.” Harry’s breath rushed out of him as he was knocked to the ground. He panicked for a moment before he noticed that Remus had bounced past him and was watching him carefully. As soon as Harry sat up, Remus bounced forward, snuffling at Harry’s neck and ear before bouncing back again. The wolf barked and wagged its tail happily at Harry. Harry grinned and the wolf’s tongue lolled out in mimic of Harry’s grin. Remus danced on his front legs before jumping and running a few feet toward the forest. Remus turned back and barked at Harry. Harry frowned and watched as the wolf ran toward the forest again before turning back to Harry expectantly.

“Oh. You want me to run in the forest with you.” The wolf danced happily and turned toward the forest again. “Well, I guess, but I only have two legs, well, one and half, so don’t lose me.”

The wolf cocked his head at Harry’s words, turned from the forest with one last glance, and walked to Harry. Remus nuzzled Harry’s hand and Harry scratched between the wolf’s ears. “No, it’s okay. I’ll go into the forest with you.” Remus stepped back and shook his head. “Come on, Remus. I know you want to run. I just…. Okay, wait a minute.” Harry ran into the house and into his old bedroom. He hadn’t unpacked many of his school things and left them in there, although most of his clothes had joined Remus’ in their bedroom, and some of his books had joined the ones piled around the bookcases in the main room. Harry opened his trunk and pulled out his Firebolt. He rarely flew anymore, and hadn’t even bothered unpacking his broom, preferring to keep it in his trunk for the time being. He hadn’t flown since last summer and seeing it only reminded him that he couldn’t play quidditch anymore.

Harry ran back outside and Remus jumped up barking. “No, it’s okay.” Remus shook his head and growled. “No, listen, I flew through the forest last summer; the trees aren’t that thick.” Remus shook his head again and continued growling. Harry mounted his broom and flew a few circles around Remus. “Look, I’ll be able to keep up with you, and I won’t fly that low, just low enough to see you.” Harry hovered in front of Remus. “You want to run; you want me to run with you. I can’t run, but I can fly. Come on.” Remus shook his head. Harry grinned. “Fine. I’ll just go without you.” Harry turned and flew into the forest, ignoring the angry barks behind him.

Harry grinned and flew through the forest just above the ground, dodging trees and bushes. He laughed as he scared a couple of rabbits out of the underbrush. He flew in a circle and hovered a moment, looking back. He squinted in the darkness, but couldn’t see Remus anywhere. He sighed, discouraged, and nearly fell off his broom at a loud bark behind him. He turned around; Remus was grinning at him, as much as a wolf could grin. He smiled and Remus crouched behind a tree, growling playfully. Harry laughed and took off, laughing again at the excited bark behind him. He listened above the wind in his ears and wondered how he could have missed the noise of Remus tearing through the underbrush before. He turned around before he reached the clearing, and laughed at Remus’ startled bark as his quarry suddenly turned on him.

They continued chasing each other for nearly twenty minutes before Harry flew back to the cottage. He stood, panting, beside his broom as Remus ran into the clearing after him. Harry backed up a step as Remus bounded up to him, and let out a startled yelp as Remus knocked him to the ground. He laughed as Remus crouched over him, sniffing his neck and armpits. Remus glanced up at Harry’s face, a mischievous look in his eyes before he buried his snout in Harry’s crotch. Harry quickly pushed Remus’ snout away from him.

“Okay, there’s no need for that.”

Remus barked softly and nosed under his arm again.

“Yeah, well, I don’t mind you sniffing me so much, but I have to draw the line at those teeth getting too close to my precious bits.”

Remus snuffled and flopped down onto his side beside Harry. Harry sighed and shifted closer to Remus, wrapping an arm around his neck and pillowing his own head on his other arm. Remus snuggled back against him, laying his head on Harry’s shoulder. Harry ran his hand through Remus’ coat and stared up at the stars and the full moon.

“I’ve never done this. Just laid outside and stared up at the stars,” Harry began speaking softly. “The first time I ever really got a chance to see the stars was at Hogwarts, and that was for Astronomy class. I never really noticed how… amazing they are. I can pick some out, a few constellations, some of the planets, but I never had the chance to just stare at them. That’s something you do as a child.” Harry’s arm tightened around Remus’ neck and he huffed at the hold. Harry relaxed his arm and continued running his fingers through Remus’ fur.

“You left me there,” Harry said hoarsely, swallowing past the lump in his throat. “You and Dumbledore stood aside and left me with those people.” Harry blinked at the burning in his eyes and leaned down to press his forehead between Remus’ ears. I don’t know if I can ever forgive you for that.” Remus shifted slightly in Harry’s embrace, but Harry shifted with him and made sure that Remus faced away from him. “It’s alright.” Harry’s voice was thick and he grimaced at the sound. “It’s okay. I understand. I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. But when I think of you being so close…. I would have given anything to have someone come and take me away from them. I dreamed about someone who loved me and didn’t care that strange things happened when I was angry or scared.”

Harry smiled. “I remember missing someone. Someone who knew me and cared about me. He was so much taller than me. He always smelled like the outdoors. And he always held me close, and made me feel safe. He would sit beside me and tell me stories until my head was full. He would bring me silly little presents that would make me laugh. He would listen to my childish words and convince me that I was the smartest person in the world.” Harry fell silent and turned his attention back to the stars. “I didn’t realize, until tonight, that they were real memories.” Remus huffed softly and Harry laughed. “I know they were memories just like I know that I dreamed about running with you through the woods. It was always the strangest dream, like riding on a flying motorcycle.” Harry laughed again. “Most people, when they dream about being chased through the woods, end up having nightmares. But when I dreamed about being chased through the woods, I remember laughing.”

They lay outside the rest of the night. Remus wandered off twice to run through the woods, but always returned to lay beside Harry as he dozed and stared at the stars. Just before the moon set, Remus pulled out of his arms. Harry opened his eyes and watched as Remus stood and shook himself before lowering his muzzle to sniff at Harry’s neck. Harry grinned, pushed Remus’ head away, and stood, stretching the kinks from his back. He glanced across the sky and noticed the moon setting low on the horizon.

“Moon’s about to set. I guess you’re ready to go in?”

Remus trotted to the door and waited, somewhat impatiently, for Harry to join him. Harry opened the door and Remus walked inside and into the bedroom. Harry followed slowly and knelt by Remus’ side. He ran his hands through the fur on Remus’ neck and Remus leaned against him slightly.

“Thank you,” Harry whispered. “Thank you for letting me stay with you. I know that….” Harry smiled and sat down, leaning back against the bed. “I know it was difficult for you to let me see you like this. And I know that you’d rather I didn’t see you change back, but I don’t care. And you let me anyway. It means a lot. I know you trust me.”

Remus huffed softly and Harry laughed. They sat quietly, side by side, waiting for the moon to set. After a few minutes, Remus stood and began pacing, whining low in his throat. Harry frowned and reached for him, but Remus snapped at him and Harry pulled his hand back, watching Remus’ agitated movements. Before long, Remus was standing in place, his head lowered, his sides heaving. Abruptly the wolf collapsed to the ground and began writhing. Harry scrambled to his feet and watched as Remus’ fur began to ripple and recede. Harry winced at the crunch of bones as Remus’ legs were reset into human arms and legs. In a matter of seconds, Remus lay panting on the floor, sweat glistening on his skin. He lay still a moment before turning to Harry. He tried to get to his feet and Harry stepped forward and helped him up. Remus leaned on him and smiled.

“Can you help me to the loo?”

Harry smiled and led Remus out of the bedroom. “Want me to run you a bath?”

Remus chuckled tiredly. “I’ve never had anyone offer to run me a bath before.”

“I don’t have to if you don’t want me to. I just thought you might feel better if you had a bath. I don’t want to upset how you do things.”

“A bath sounds wonderful.”

Harry smiled. “Good. I’ll get you settled and make you something to eat and then we can go to bed.”

“I could get used to being pampered like this.”

“I hope you do,” Harry answered with a grin.

Harry propped Remus beside the toilet and ran some warm water into the tub while Remus relieved himself. He stood aside and made sure that Remus wouldn’t slip and fall or drown himself, and hovered anxiously until Remus scowled and waved him away. Harry stood outside the bathroom door a minute, listening intently before determining that Remus would be fine before he finally moved to the sink and pushed his head under the faucet.

He had never seen anything as horrible as the transformation. And Remus had been suffering this for most of his life. It had been all he could do not to run from the room when it had started. But Remus had trusted him, and Harry had found it difficult to move despite every instinct within him urging him to get away. He began to understand why werewolves kept to themselves. Seeing what Remus went through was horrifying and he would never be able to look at Remus without seeing that spectacle. Other people wouldn’t be able to hide their horror at what had happened. The fact that Remus had been able to retain his humanity did not make the transformation any less horrific.

Harry shook the water off his face and reached for a towel. He started brewing tea and cooking sausages and returned to the bedroom to fetch some clothes for Remus. He smiled at Remus, dozing in the tub, and tiptoed out again, leaving Remus’ robe on the sink. He finished breakfast and placed everything on a tray and carried it to the bedroom before returning to the bathroom.

“Remus, breakfast is ready.”

Remus stirred slightly and opened his eyes. “What?”

Harry smiled. “Come on, Remus.” Harry stepped forward and held out a towel. “Time to get out.”

Remus sighed and heaved himself out of the tub. He stood, swaying slightly, as Harry dried him off and wrapped his robe around him. Harry led him to the bedroom and waited while Remus settled himself against the pillows. Harry watched Remus settle into the bed before he went to the kitchen and returned with a tray filled with breakfast. Harry toed off his shoes and climbed in beside Remus before placing the tray across Remus’ lap. Remus only managed a few bites before he closed his eyes and leaned his head back wearily. Harry smiled and took the tray from Remus.

“Go ahead and lay down. I’ll try not to wake you.”

Remus smiled and lay down completely. Harry finished eating quickly and set the tray aside so he could stand. Remus grabbed his hand.

“Coming right back?”

Harry smiled and nodded and patted Remus’ hand. “I’ll be right back.”

Remus nodded and closed his eyes again. Harry had never showered so quickly in his life.


	23. Chapter Twenty-Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the full moon and Harry faces some decisions.

Harry bit his lip and shifted slightly in Remus’ embrace. He had fallen asleep as soon as he had rejoined Remus after his shower and sometime during the morning Remus had latched onto him. Remus’ head was pillowed on Harry’s shoulders and Remus’ arms and legs were wrapped firmly around him. Each time Harry shifted, Remus’ hold tightened. But the situation was becoming dire. Harry touched Remus’ thigh. Remus didn’t move. Harry took a deep breath and pushed Remus’ leg off his own. Remus mumbled and shifted slightly, but didn’t fling his leg across Harry’s again. Harry released his breath and felt a bit giddy at the thought that he was halfway to his goal. He shifted his lower body away from Remus and toward the edge of the bed and nearly choked when Remus’ arm tightened against his neck. Harry paused and touched Remus’ arm. Remus’ grip relaxed and Harry wound his hand around Remus’. Remus clutched back and Harry began shifting underneath Remus’ arm until his legs were dangling off the bed. He took another deep breath, scooted off the bed and landed with a soft thud on the floor. Harry knelt beside the bed and watched as Remus frowned in his sleep. Harry squeezed Remus’ hand and sighed as Remus relaxed again. Now all he had to do was reclaim his hand from Remus. Harry twisted his hand in Remus’ grasp before he finally just yanked it away. He held his breath as Remus’ hand curled and uncurled before relaxing again. Harry released his breath and ran to the bathroom.

Remus was still asleep when Harry returned. He paused in the doorway and watched Remus sleep before returning to the kitchen to scarf down a sandwich. He made a side trip through the living room and plucked a book from Remus’ collection before heading back to the bedroom.

Remus was sitting up, frowning, as he glanced around the room. Hair stuck to the side of his face. Harry bit his lip to keep from laughing.

“Where were you?”

“I made a sandwich. Do you want something to eat?”

Remus shook his head and continued staring at Harry.

“What about some tea? You must be thirsty.” Remus shrugged. Harry nodded. “Okay. I’ll make you some tea and come right back.” Harry turned, but glanced over his shoulder at Remus. He was still sitting up in bed, looking confused and endearing. Harry heated the water magically and had just poured the water into the teapot when Remus spoke.

“What are you doing?”

Harry turned. Remus stood in the doorway, his robe halfway off his shoulders, still looking confused.

“I’m making tea. Go back to bed, Remus.”

Remus turned and glanced into the bedroom but turned immediately back to Harry. Harry stifled a laugh and piled the teapot and mugs onto a tray. He brushed past Remus, swaying in the doorway, and deposited the tray on the table under the window. He returned to Remus, took his hand, and led him back to the bed. “You need more sleep, Remus.” Harry removed Remus robe and tucked him into bed. He stepped back to circle to his own side, but Remus grabbed his hand and drew him closer.

“Where are you going?”

“Nowhere, Remus.” Harry pulled his hand from Remus grasp and shucked his trousers. Harry climbed over Remus and settled beneath the covers, grinning winningly at Remus. “Alright?”

Remus frowned and closed his eyes. Minutes later he was wrapped around Harry again. Harry sighed and shifted slightly. Remus’ grip tightened until Harry lay still. Harry sighed again when he realized he had left his book on the table across the room.

****  
It was late afternoon when Remus stirred. Harry had long since lost all feeling on the right side of his body. He had spent the last three hours contemplating how many ways to defend himself against various magical animals and plants. Which had led to thinking of how many times he had faced Voldemort in one incarnation or another which had led to contemplating how many different ways he could have killed Voldemort, which led to considering how he could strengthen the muscle in his leg, which had led to wondering what he could do, since he had already tried strengthening his leg muscles and not much had changed, which had led him to wondering what he was going to do with his life since everything he had considered in the past was now closed to him. This led him to think about the book on careers that Remus had given him last summer that he had never gotten around to reading which now sat on the table across the room. Harry sighed as Remus shifted away slightly and the right side of his body started tingling.

Remus rolled away and stretched slightly before snuggling against his pillow. The corners of his eyes crinkled. “What time is it?”

Harry winced at the stabbing pain in his neck when he turned his head to check the time. “It’s almost five. Did you sleep all right?”

Remus hummed and lifted his hand to Harry’s chest. Harry hissed as the tingles in his right arm intensified when Remus rested his arm across it. Remus’ eyes shot open. “What’s wrong?”

Harry smiled and lifted Remus’ arm with his left hand. “My arm’s asleep.”

Remus grimaced and pulled his hand away. “Oh. Sorry.”

“It’s okay. Just give me a minute.”

Remus nodded and rolled over. “Did you get any sleep?”

“Yeah, plenty. How do you feel?”

Remus sighed and smiled at Harry. “I feel good.”

“Do you want some tea now?”

Remus hummed and closed his eyes. When Harry didn’t move Remus frowned and turned to look at him. “Should I make my own?”

Harry grimaced. “No, I’ll do it. I just need a few minutes.”

Remus frowned. “What’s wrong?’

“The whole right side of my body is asleep, Remus.”

Remus snickered.

“Go ahead and laugh. It’s funny as hell.”

“What happened?” Remus asked, chuckling.

Harry glared. “You slept half on top of me, Remus.” Remus burst out laughing. “Laugh it up, Moony.” Harry rolled out of bed, but stumbled back to sit on the edge when Remus grabbed his hand and pulled him back.

“I’m sorry, Harry.” Remus wrapped his arms around Harry’s chest and rested his chin on his shoulder. “I don’t mean to laugh. I didn’t realize I had slept all over you.” He chuckled and pressed a kiss to Harry’s shoulder. “I feel really good this morning…er, this afternoon. I’ve never felt so well the day after a full-moon.”

Harry touched Remus hands where they were clasped across his chest. “Really? You’re alright? Because you seemed a little out of it a couple of hours ago.”

“What? I don’t remember anything since you tucked me in this morning.”

Harry turned in Remus’ arms and smiled. “I guess that explains it; you were still asleep.” Harry laughed at Remus’ puzzled expression. “I got up about three hours ago to go to the loo and have a sandwich. You woke up, or at least I thought you woke up, and asked what I was doing, where I was going. The same questions over and over.” Harry lifted a hand and brushed Remus’ hair away from his eyes. “Your hair was sticking to your face.” Harry gestured to the table beneath the window. “I made you tea, but you fell asleep again before you could drink any.”

Remus smiled and leaned into Harry, pressing their mouths together softly. “I’ll help with dinner.”

Harry nodded and kissed Remus back. They sat there and exchanged lazy kisses, neither willing to break away from the comfortable feeling of just being together.

“I’m hungry,” Remus remarked after several minutes.

Harry laughed and pulled away from Remus’ embrace, donned his trousers and collected the tray from the table. Remus shrugged into his robe and followed Harry into the kitchen.

The worked side by side making a simple meal. They ate just at the kitchen table, sitting just around the corner from each other, talking quietly about inconsequential things. Harry pushed Remus back into his chair when he tried to stand to help with the dishes. Harry washed the few dishes quickly, well aware that Remus was watching him. Harry stood at the counter, fussing with the dish towel and the few odds and ends left out when strong arms wrapped around him and Remus pressed against his back.

“Are you alright?”

Harry nodded.

“Do you want to talk about last night?”

Harry tensed but forced himself to relax and shook his head.

Remus sighed and pressed a kiss behind Harry’s ear. Remus’ hands began stroking his bare chest, brushing against his nipples, but never giving them enough attention. Remus’ fingers traced along Harry’s waistband before retreating again to graze over his stomach and up toward his nipples again. Harry braced himself against the counter, clutching the edge with white-knuckled hands. He felt Remus’ breath against his ear as one hand dipped down again, unfastened his trousers, but returned to his nipples immediately. Harry moaned softly and smiled at Remus’ chuckle.

“Will you come with me?”

Harry leaned his head against Remus’ shoulder and shivered when Remus pinched his nipples. He turned his face into Remus’ neck. “Yes.”

Remus kissed the scar on his forehead and pulled his hands away from their grip on the counter. He waited until Harry had his balance, then threaded his fingers through Harry’s and led him to the bedroom. They stood beside the bed and Remus curled his hands around Harry’s face, rubbing his thumbs over his cheekbones. Harry parted his mouth and watched Remus’ eyes flare slightly, though the familiar, small smile didn’t change at all. Harry leaned forward and brushed his mouth over Remus’ cheek and jaw. Remus’ hands fell to his shoulder and down to caress his back. Harry wrapped his arms around Remus’ waist and mouthed kisses along Remus’ neck, nosing the collar of his robe aside. His breath hitched when Remus’ hands cupped his ass and he felt Remus chuckle. Remus squeezed his ass and bent down to whisper in his ear. “Harry, Harry, I want you.”

Harry lifted his head. “Yes.”

Remus smiled and bit lightly on Harry’s earlobe. Harry trembled in Remus’ arms as Remus’ trailed biting, sucking kisses over his jaw and down his neck. Harry closed his eyes. He relaxed into the sensations that Remus was weaving around them. Unlike the encounters they had shared over the last two weeks, the passion was rising slowly between them. He was leaning forward slightly, clutching Remus’ waist, when Remus straightened and stepped back. Harry wobbled slightly and opened his eyes. Remus stared at him. Harry grinned and pushed his hands inside Remus’ robe. He traced his fingers along Remus’ chest, brushing over his nipples, tracing the scar on his side. Remus released the belt on his robe and Harry pushed the robe off of Remus’ shoulders.

Harry’s gaze traveled over Remus’ torso and caught on the scar on his side, which had turned an angry red. He touched it tentatively and turned questioning eyes to Remus.

Remus smiled. “It itches sometimes after the full moon.”

Harry nodded and turned his attention to his hands which were wandering over Remus’ body. Harry’s hands brushed over his chest and stomach before turning his attention to Remus’ cock. Harry’s fingers brushed over the tip and Harry smirked at Remus’ gasp. It was Harry’s turn to gasp when Remus growled, swatted his Harry’s hands away from him, and pulled Harry to him, pressing a hard kiss into his mouth. Harry laughed into Remus’ mouth. Remus pulled back and smiled.

“Are you sure about this?” Remus still smiled, but there was concern in his eyes.

Harry touched Remus’ shoulder before wrapping his arms around Remus’ waist and resting his head on his chest. “I’ve been waiting for this since last summer.”

Remus chuckled and stroked Harry’s back. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Harry lifted his head and looked into Remus’ eyes. “You won’t, I trust you.”

Something flared in Remus’ eyes at the simple statement. Harry gasped into Remus’ mouth as Remus’ tongue thrust its way inside, stroking along Harry’s tongue and palate. Before he knew it, Harry found himself naked, flat on his back on the bed, with Remus stretched along his side. Remus mapped Harry’s torso with his mouth, teeth and tongue, pressing kisses along Harry’s clavicle, biting and pulling on Harry’s nipples, dipping his tongue into Harry’s navel. Harry closed his eyes and threaded his fingers through Remus’ hair when Remus shifted his attention to Harry’s cock. Harry held his breath when he felt Remus’ breath ghost over the head, but released it in a groan when Remus bypassed his cock all together and began nipping at his balls. Harry’s eyes jerked open when Remus’ mouth disappeared and hands wrapped around his wrists. He looked down at Remus, kneeling between his splayed thighs, a grimace on his face. He pulled Harry’s hands from his hair and returned his attention to Harry’s balls. Harry grasped fistfuls of bed sheet instead. By the time Remus had one finger worked into Harry’s entrance and was sucking contentedly on the head of his cock, Harry was babbling incoherently. He released a ragged sob when Remus released his cock and removed his finger and reached into the drawer in the bedside table for the lube.

Remus touched Harry’s face gently. Harry opened his eyes and tried to return Remus’ smile. Remus chuckled. “Turn onto your side.”

Harry let Remus’ hands guide him onto his side, his back to Remus’ front. Harry stared at the blank wall in front of him. Remus settled against his back and his eyes slid closed when he felt Remus’ cock resting against his crease. Remus’ arms came around him and Harry rested his head on Remus’ bicep. The muscle flexed under his head as Remus’ hands began roaming over his chest. One hand came to rest on his chest while the other slid down Harry’s side, over his hip to his thigh. Remus kneaded the muscle a moment before pushing Harry’s leg forward. Harry frowned and tried not to tense when Remus’ fingers returned to his hole. Harry expected Remus to push his finger back inside, but Remus began petting him lightly, not pushing inside where Harry desperately needed him to go.. He grit his teeth when Remus’ hand shifted between his legs to caress his balls instead. Remus’ hand disappeared again, but returned quickly, slick, to wrap around Harry’s cock. Despite Remus’ breath panting in his ear, his touch was sure and slow. Harry groaned and wrapped his hand around Remus’, trying to urge him to move faster. Remus chuckled and removed his hand, but wrapped Harry’s hand around his own cock. Harry held his breath when Remus’ fingers returned to his hole. This time, Remus’ stroke was sure.

“Talk to me, Harry. Tell me how you feel.”

Harry stroked his cock at the same pace Remus had used, almost as an afterthought, concentrating instead on Remus’ fingertip just pushing into Harry.

“Harry?”

Harry groaned. “ ‘s fine.”

Remus stopped pushing his finger inside. “That’s not good enough, Harry.”

Harry squeezed his eyes tight before opening them. “I don’t….”

“Don’t what, Harry?”

“I don’t… know…. What do you want me to say?”

Remus smiled and kissed Harry’s shoulders. “Tell me what you feel.”

“I don’t…. I need more.”

“More what?” Remus’ finger pushed in slightly and his other hand brushed over Harry’s nipples. “More of that?”

“Yes.” Harry hissed and closed his eyes again.

“Yes to which?” Remus pinched one of Harry’s nipples. “More of that?” He pushed his finger into Harry before thrusting in and out in a leisurely fashion “Or more of this?”

“Yes.” Harry hissed again and moved against Remus’ hand. His own hand still moving on his cock.

“Yes?” Remus’ voice was filled with amusement.

“Yes. Both. More.”

Remus chuckled and began thrusting his finger into Harry’s hole. “More?” Remus didn’t wait for an answer and pushed another finger into Harry. Harry whimpered and Remus stopped moving.

“Don’t stop.” Harry pushed back against Remus’ hand.

Remus began moving his fingers inside. “Talk to me, Harry.”

Harry growled, but did as Remus asked. “I need you in me, Remus. I want to feel you. I want….” Harry’s words ended in a hiss as Remus’ fingers brushed over his prostate. “Fuck. Do that again.” Remus chuckled but did as Harry asked. “Is that…?” Remus hummed and added another finger, twisting and thrusting into Harry, and brushing his prostate occasionally. “Oh, God. I had no idea. Why didn’t I know? Why haven’t we done this…? Fuck. Remus, please.”

“Please, what?” Harry barely heard Remus’ voice, but shuddered in his grasp when Remus’ breath brushed over his ear.

“Please. You. Inside me.”

Remus stilled and Harry held his breath. Finally, Remus pulled his fingers out and Harry bit back a groan at the loss. Moments later, Harry felt something larger pressing against him. “You have to tell me if I hurt you. We can stop anytime.”

Harry nodded absently, though judging by the panting breath against his ear, it wouldn’t be as easy for Remus to stop as he claimed. Harry held his breath as he felt Remus guide his cock to Harry’s entrance.

“Breathe, Harry.”

Harry released his breath in a whoosh as Remus began pushing inside. Harry fought not to squirm at the burn, but he did grimace. Remus paused and wrapped his hand over Harry’s on his cock. “Concentrate on this.” Remus guided Harry’s hand and they began stroking him together while Remus began pushing inside again. Harry concentrated on Remus’ hand over his and the cock in their hands. He grunted when Remus’ cockhead pushed past the ring of muscles.

“Alright?’ Harry grunted again and thrust back against Remus. Remus’ hand left his and gripped his hip. “Be still. Let me do this,” Remus panted.

“Then do it,” Harry bit out. “Stop asking me how I am.”

Remus bit down on Harry’s shoulder and began pushing into him in earnest. Harry’s hand stilled on his cock and he marveled at the feeling of Remus’ cock pushing inside him. Remus was panting against Harry’s neck, gripping his hip. Harry sighed and tried to relax, but felt himself tense despite his efforts. Remus began muttering encouragement in his ear and his hand shifted from Harry’s hip to cover his hand on his cock again. They began stroking together and before Harry knew it, Remus was completely inside him.

“Can you feel me?” Harry shivered at Remus’ words and he nodded absently. “How does it feel?”

“Fine.” Harry clenched against him and Remus growled. Remus’ hand fell away from Harry’s and cupped his balls, rolling them between his fingers.

“Keep stroking. I want to watch you touch yourself.”

Harry shuddered slightly, but continued stroking his cock. Remus rocked against him and Harry gasped at the feeling of Remus’ cock moving inside him. Remus paused, but Harry pressed back against him. Harry felt Remus’ chest expand against him and felt Remus’ breath against his neck when Remus’ exhaled. He began thrusting shallowly and Harry unconsciously matched his stroking to Remus’ thrusts. Harry gripped Remus’ hand on his chest, rocking back against Remus’ thrusts and forward into his own hand. Remus shifted his angle slightly and Harry gasped as pleasure jolted through him. It wasn’t long before he was groaning Remus’ name and coming over his hand and belly. Remus grip released his balls and settled onto his hip. He held Harry close until the shudders racking his body eased, then pushed Harry onto his stomach, pushing his legs wide, and began thrusting into Harry’s body. Harry tried to move with Remus, but Remus’ hands grasped his hips hard, holding him still. Harry held his breath when he felt Remus hips jerks against him and released it when he felt fluid spurting inside him. Remus collapsed over his back. Harry waited a few minutes, but finally elbowed Remus in the side when it became obvious Remus was in no hurry to move.

Remus grunted and pulled his softening cock out of Harry and shifted to the side. Harry turned his head to look at him.

Remus lay on his back, one arm thrown over his eyes. “Are you alright?”

Remus chuckled and lowered his arm to look at Harry. “I should be asking you that.”

Harry squirmed slightly under Remus’ scrutiny and tried to grin at him.

“What’s wrong?” Remus asked shortly.

Harry blinked at Remus’ tone. “Nothing. Why?”

“Are you alright? Did I hurt you?”

Harry sighed. “Yes, I’m fine. And no, you didn’t hurt me. Really.”

Remus frowned and rolled out of bed. Harry sighed again and turned his face into the pillow. He had just dozed off when he felt something warm and wet on his backside. He rolled away and rose to his knees before he realized it was Remus cleaning him off. Remus arched a brow at him.

“Sorry.” Harry grinned. “You startled me.”

Remus smiled. “Come here.” Harry crawled back over to Remus, trying not to wince at the burn in his ass. “I saw that, Harry.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “I’m fine. I’m not hurt.”

Remus cleaned Harry’s stomach and between his legs, caressing his flaccid cock and balls gently before pushing Harry down onto his stomach again. “Then what was the face?”

“I just had your cock up my arse, Remus. For the first time.” Harry sighed at the warm damp cloth rubbing across his asshole. Harry frowned. Remus was spending an awful lot of time there. “Are you inspecting my asshole, Remus?”

The cloth against his hole disappeared immediately and Harry turned onto his side. Remus stood by the bed, looking anywhere but at Harry, blushing. Harry laughed softly and pulled Remus down beside him.

“I’m fine, Remus, really. My ass burns a little, but you didn’t hurt me.” Harry snuggled against Remus’ chest. He smiled when Remus wrapped his arms around him.

Harry was on the verge of dozing again when Remus spoke. “What did you think?”

Harry pressed his nose against Remus’ neck. “What?”

Remus pressed a kiss to his temple. “What did you think?”

“About what?”

Remus squeezed Harry gently. “How did you like getting buggered, you little git?”

Harry laughed and leaned his face up to press a kiss to Remus’ mouth. “I think I would have liked it better if you hadn’t asked if I was alright every five minutes.”

Remus grinned and slid one of his hands down to rest on Harry’s buttock. “But other than the nagging…?”

Harry sighed and laid his head on Remus’ shoulder. “It was fine.”

Harry cursed silently when Remus stiffened beside him. “Fine.”

“Good. It was good.”

Remus patted his ass before pulling his arm from underneath Harry. “Good.”

“Well, look, it was the first time.” Harry sat up and turned to face Remus. Remus stared back calmly. “I mean, it was good, but I just expected more.”

“More, what?”

Harry absently traced the scar on his forehead. “I don’t know. More heat, more sweat, more anything. It was good, I liked it, but….” Harry shrugged and tried to grin.

Remus nodded and looked thoughtful. “Any ideas?”

Harry closed his eyes and slumped back against the pillows. “Remus, I don’t…. Why do I have to come up with something?”

“You’re the one with the sex manual.”

Harry groaned and pulled a pillow over his head, wondering for the first time why he had ever asked Hermione for help. It had all been going so well. They hadn’t needed it. Remus was wonderful and the sex was wonderful and why had Harry opened his stupid mouth. Why didn’t he just grin and fall asleep? Now Remus was upset. And leaving. Harry pushed the pillow away and watched Remus walked out of the room. Harry considered following, but closed his eyes and pulled the pillow back over his head instead. It would be best to just to leave Remus alone until he wanted to talk about things.

Harry yelped when a heavy weight pressed him into the bed. Remus knelt over him, his chest pressed into Harry’s, an evil grin spread across his face. “More heat?” Remus nuzzled into Harry’s neck. “More sweat?” Harry groaned when Remus licked his ear. “More anything?” Remus sat back and grinned at Harry.

Harry frowned. “What are you playing at, Remus?”

Remus chuckled and shifted to lie beside Harry. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Harry.” He pushed his knee between Harry’s thighs and began raining kisses along Harry’s neck and collarbone. Harry curled a hand in Remus hair and sighed when one of Remus’ hands brushed along his stomach and hip to dip between his legs. Harry’s breath hitched when Remus brushed his fingers over Harry’s hole. “Are you alright?” Remus asked, laughter in his voice.

Harry growled, pushed Remus away from him and began pummeling him with a pillow. Remus laughed and threw himself at Harry, pulling the pillow from his grasp and rolling him beneath him. Harry struggled against Remus’ grip for a moment, panting and grinning when Remus held him beneath him easily. “Let’s see what we can do about producing some heat and sweat.”

****

Harry smiled as he quietly entered the cottage. Books and parchment were piled across half of the room and Remus hunched over his desk by the window. He had started his new book last week and the ordered chaos Remus declared was necessary for adequate research had begun taking over the cottage. They had had a heated discussion about Remus’ tendency to take over the cottage with his research and a tentative comprise had been reached: Harry would leave Remus’ pile of books and parchments alone and Remus would stay out of the kitchen. So far everything was going well.

Harry quickly stored the groceries he had bought and turned his attention to tea and lunch. He carried a plate of sandwiches and a mug of tea over to Remus and stood behind him until he absently took a bite. Harry frowned and fingered the ragged collar of Remus’ robe, jumping slightly when Remus swatted at his hand. Remus turned to face him when he realized it was Harry’s hand that had disturbed him.

“Sorry.” Harry grinned sheepishly at Remus’ pointed look. “I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

Remus shrugged and took a sip of tea. “It’s alright. How long have you been back?”

“Only a few minutes.” Harry grinned. “Since you’ve surfaced from whatever parallel dimension you were visiting, would you like to join me at the table for lunch?”

Remus chuckled and carried his tea and sandwiches back to the kitchen. “I thought you were spending the afternoon with Ron.”

“I thought so too, but he has a job interview this afternoon and he was a nervous wreck. Hermione and Mrs. Weasley were trying to calm him down. I tried to help, but Hermione kept glaring at me whenever I tried to talk to him about Quidditch, so I left and told him I’d stop by in a day or two.”

“What is the interview for?”

Harry shrugged. “Don’t know exactly. It’s with the ministry, though.”

Remus nodded and sipped his tea. “What are you doing this afternoon then?”

Harry blushed and began shredding the bread crusts left on his plate. Remus chuckled.

“I could take an afternoon off.”

Harry grinned. “That’s not what I was thinking about. But we could, if you actually did take an afternoon off.”

“What were you thinking about then?” Remus pulled the bread crusts from Harry’s hand and pulled the plate away from him.

Harry took a deep breath. “I thought maybe we could go shopping.”

“Shopping.”

Harry smiled brightly. “Yeah, shopping. It shouldn’t be too crowded in Diagon Alley this afternoon. Hogwarts doesn’t start for another month and we could go to the bookstore and maybe get you some new robes.”

Remus blinked. “New robes.”

“I bet Flourish and Blott’s has plenty of books that could help you with your research. And I haven’t been to Quality Quidditch Supplies in ages, and we could stop in and visit Fred and George. I’ll treat you to some ice cream, or maybe we could eat supper at the Leaky Cauldron. We haven’t eaten out of the house since last summer and they have this great….”

“New robes?” Remus interrupted.

Harry swallowed and wrapped his hand around Remus’. “I got some new robes a few weeks ago. Hermione made me. And I just thought….”

“You thought you could buy me some new robes?” Remus pulled his hand away from Harry’s grasp and laid it in his lap.

“Or you could buy your own. You’ve been getting a check every week from your book. You haven’t spent any of it yet. You haven’t even taken it to Gringotts.”

“And you immediately thought I should spend it on new robes.”

“Well, when was the last time you bought yourself some new robes.”

Remus stood and carried his plate and mug to the sink. “Does it matter?”

Harry sighed and followed Remus to the sink. “No, you know it doesn’t. But why don’t you want to buy yourself some new clothes?”

Remus stepped around Harry and into the sitting room. “Why is this so important to you?”

“It’s not.” Harry grimaced when Remus faced him and arched a brow. “Because your robes are nearly threadbare and would it really kill you to buy something new for yourself?”

“Are you embarrassed that….” Remus broke off and looked away.

“What? No! But you obviously haven’t bought new robes in years and….” Harry stepped forward and touched Remus’ clenched fists. “Remus, what’s the big deal?”

Remus smiled and shook his head. “I don’t…. I’m not used to this.”

“What? Someone nagging you to buy new clothes?”

“Yes.” Remus chuckled. “I’ve never had money to buy clothes before.” Remus shrugged and threaded his fingers through Harry’s. “It’s been my habit to hoard whatever money I get because I can never be sure that there won’t come a time when I don’t have money for food, let alone new robes.”

Harry smiled. “Well, now you don’t have to worry about it. You’re a successful author.” Remus snorted, but Harry continued. “You’re making more money than you know what to do with, and I have more money than I know what to do with, and your robes are practically falling off your shoulders.” Harry squeezed Remus’ hand gently. “Come spend the afternoon with me in Diagon Alley. We’ll stop by Gringotts and Madam Malkin’s, and we’ll have a good time.”

“I don’t want to go shopping.”

“We all have to do things we don’t want to.” Harry shook his hand loose from Remus’ grip and summoned their cloaks. “But you’re getting new robes, and if you don’t come with me I’m going to get what I like and make you wear them.” Remus shook his head. “And we haven’t been out of the house since… since b-before the full moon.” Remus brushed his fingers across Harry’s cheek at the stutter.

“Alright. We’ll go.” Harry smiled brightly and Remus chuckled. “I do want to take a look around Flourish and Blott’s.”

“And I promised the twins I’d stop by their shop.” Harry pulled his cloak over his shoulders and waited impatiently by the door while Remus wandered the room, checking candles and digging through a drawer in his desk. “We can stop by the sweet shop, too. We don’t have any more chocolate frogs and the way you’re going through parchment we should probably stop by the stationary store and what on Earth are you looking for?”

Remus smiled and held up a stack of envelopes. “I thought we were going to Gringott’s too.”

“Oh, well, hurry up.” Harry stepped out on the porch and bounced on the balls of his feet while Remus secured the door. “The wards we set up aren’t going to let anyone else in. Why are you locking the door?”

“It’s a good habit to have.” Harry stepped off the porch, but Remus pulled him back and wrapped his arms around him, holding him against his chest. “What’s the rush?”

Harry smiled and wrapped his arms around Remus’ waist before brushing a kiss across his lips. “I just want to get you out of the house before you come up with another reason not to go with me.”

Remus pressed a deeper kiss on him, not letting up until Harry was whimpering and clutching at him desperately. “And I need to get you a birthday present anyway.”

Harry leaned against him and hummed.

“Can you apparate?”

“Yes.” Harry answered softly before licking Remus’ jaw.

“We can stay here….”

Harry shook himself and pulled away from Remus. “No. I’m fine.” He took a deep breath and frowned at Remus. “You’re very sneaky, Mr. Lupin. I’m not letting you back into the house until we go to Diagon Alley.” Harry stepped back and waited until Remus stepped off the porch. They walked to the edge of the wards and apparated.

****  
Three hours later, Harry was wondering why he had ever thought it would be a good idea to go shopping with Remus. Their visit to Gringott’s had been fast and hassle free. They had stopped in at Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes and had spent a good hour there catching up with the twins and browsing their shelves. Flourish and Blott’s was another issue entirely.

Two hours after entering the book shop, Harry sat on the stairs up to the third floor, idly watching the crowd and wondering if he was ever going to get Remus out of the store again. Remus was completely absorbed in the defense section, surfacing only occasionally to carry a book or two over to add to the pile at Harry’s feet. Harry frowned as another patron froze upon catching sight of Remus in an aisle before backing away slowly and scampering away. Remus was completely oblivious. Harry sighed and picked a book up from the stack.

“Mr. Potter.”

Harry looked up and stood quickly when he saw who had addressed him. “Professor.”

Professor McGonagall frowned as Harry, standing two steps above her, looked down at her.

“How are you?”

Harry smiled tightly. “Fine.”

McGonagall shifted the books in her arms. “I’ve been reviewing new textbooks for the coming school year. Headmaster Dumbledore feels it’s time that we expanded our horizon a bit instead of using the same books that we’ve used for the past thirty years.” She laughed shortly. “He seems to think the professors have gotten into some kind of a rut.”

Harry nodded and bent down to retrieve the pile of books by his feet. “That’s nice. If you’ll excuse me…?”

Harry brushed passed by her, but paused when she called his name.

“Harry, I know you think we treated you badly, but it was for your own good.”

Harry stood still, his back to McGonagall, his eyes on Remus. Remus looked up suddenly and frowned at Harry’s expression before he looked past him and saw McGonagall. Understanding crossed his face and he picked up several books and took a step forward. Harry shook his head and turned to McGonagall.

“It was for my own good.”

“Yes, of course, Harry. You’re so young, you have no idea--”

“Oh, I have plenty of ideas, believe me.” Harry interrupted quickly and gripped the books in his hands desperately. “Based on the way you treated me over the years, I get the idea that you only showed more than a cursory interest in me because of some bloody prophesy or because I was winning the house cup or the quidditch cup for you.”

“You know very well that is not true,” McGonagall replied, indignant .

“Do I? I know that as soon as Voldemort was killed and I couldn’t play quidditch anymore you stopped paying attention to me. You never once asked how I was or made arrangements to have my assignments brought to me when I couldn’t get to class. You never offered any help when I could barely walk. And as soon as Dumbledore expressed any concern about my power or my relationship with Remus, you turned on me. What else was I supposed to think?”

McGonagall drew herself up angrily. “You have no idea what I’ve gone through over the years for you. You have no right to pass judgment on me.”

“What you’ve gone through?” Harry asked. “For me? You haven’t done anything for me. You’ve judged me and stood aside while you and everyone else who claimed to care about me watched me get into one dangerous situation after another. You never listened to me or tried to keep me from danger--”

“And you think you’re not going to be in danger spending your life with a werewolf?” McGonagall interrupted snidely.

“I’m safer living with a werewolf than I ever was living at Hogwarts under your care.

“How dare you speak to me this way?” McGonagall hissed.

Harry smiled. “You’re not my professor anymore. I’ll speak to you anyway I choose. But as it happens, I’d rather not speak to you at all.”

Harry turned, caught Remus’ eye, and walked down to the first floor and the counter at the back of the shop. He felt Remus stand close beside him as they paid for the books and began to calm down only when they had left the shop and Remus threaded his fingers through Harry’s.

“We can go home now, if you want.”

Harry smiled, then surprised himself by laughing. “You’re not getting out of new robes that easily.”

Remus smiled, relief spreading across his features. “Damn. I had to try, you know.”

Harry nodded and squeezed Remus’ hand before leading the way to Madam Malkin’s.

****  
“It’s been a year, Harry.”

Harry looked up from his book and turned to find Remus standing in front of the empty fireplace, frowning at some parchment clutched in his hands.

“What?”

Remus looked up and waved the parchment in his hand. “It’s been a year since you received your parent’s and Sirius’ wills. You haven’t done anything about the properties yet.”

Harry frowned and turned his attention back to his book. “I wasn’t aware that I had to do anything about them.”

“I told you last year that you should plan on doing something. Even if you only --”

“I don’t want anything to do with any of it.” Harry interrupted and shut his book with a snap.

“You can’t just leave magical property unattended, and both of these properties have stood empty for too long,” Remus explained patiently.

“I don’t understand --”

“You remember what Number 12 Grimmauld place was like that first summer, don’t you?” Harry nodded cautiously. “It had been empty for years. Magical creatures and infestations can run rampant in a place like that. Grimmauld place had been in the Black family for years and then nearly abandoned. But if it stands empty for too long, without any upkeep, the magic protecting muggles from it starts to degrade. Since Sirius left it to you, it will be your responsibility to make sure that no one is injured, and if someone is injured then it will be your fault and your responsibility and you will have to pay the price.”

Harry frowned. “But that hadn’t happened when it was used for Order headquarters.”

“No, but Kreacher was there. It only takes one sentient magical creature to keep the wards up. It’s empty now and has been for over a year.”

Harry rubbed his forehead with his fingertips. “But what about m-my – Godric’s Hollow?”

Remus smiled grimly. “Dumbledore told me that he went there once a year to make sure the wards were still up. But since the property was passed entirely into your hands last year, he wouldn’t have the right. You can check with him and see, but I doubt that he’s been back since your seventeenth birthday.” Remus knelt in front of Harry. “I know that this is the last thing you want to face, but you have to go there.”

“Remus….” Harry sighed.

Remus touched Harry’s face gently. “I’m sorry, Harry, but you have to. Dumbledore told me several years ago that the main purpose in maintaining the wards was so that it wouldn’t become a tourist attraction.” Harry grimaced and Remus continued. “No one really knows where it is because of the wards that Dumbledore placed around it, but if you don’t do something they will start to degrade. It’s not just because they’ve stood empty. They belong to you now. They’re your responsibility. The wills weren’t just a legal contract; they were a magically binding contract. The properties will respond to your magic now because they were magically entrusted to you. Into your care.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I know.” Remus chuckled. “I’m not very good at explaining this. It’s like…. You know how Hogwarts responds to Dumbledore?”

Harry nodded. “Like the way the way the Headmasters office sealed itself when Dumbledore left during fifth year.”

“Yes. It responds to him, to his authority, because it was placed under his authority by a magical contract. It’s the same with your properties.”

Harry stood and stepped away from Remus. “I don’t want to think about that right now.”

“You can’t let it go for too long.”

Harry curled his hands into fists before relaxing and turning to Remus with a smile. “But we don’t have to worry about that now.” Harry stepped forward and began unbuttoning Remus’ new robes. “This is the first break you’ve taken all day. Do you really want to talk about unpleasant things?” Harry pushed the robe off Remus’ shoulders.

Remus frowned. “Harry….”

Harry pressed his mouth to Remus’, licking at Remus’ lips before plunging inside. Remus touched Harry’s waist lightly before pulling Harry to him and returning the kiss.

“This discussion isn’t over, Harry.” Harry shivered, but smiled, when Remus whispered in his ear and began pushing his robes off.


	24. Chapter Twenty-Four

Remus let the discussion rest until after Harry’s birthday and into the first week of August. He watched Harry closely, and couldn’t help but notice how restless he was. While Remus compiled research on his latest project, Harry cooked and cleaned and wandered about without any purpose. Remus sat back in his chair and watched as Harry finished cleaning the sitting area and carefully lowered the books and parchment that he had levitated in order to clean under them. Harry stepped back and smiled before turning to Remus.

“What?”

Remus shook his head. “It’s nothing.”

Harry walked over and leaned against Remus desk. “It’s obviously something. You’ve been staring at me all day.”

Remus chuckled and crossed his arms. “I’ve hardly been staring at you.”

“Watching, then.”

“Fine. I’ve been watching you.” Remus studied Harry a moment. “You don’t have anything to do.” Harry stiffened and stepped away from the desk, but Remus pulled him back. “You’ve been wandering around, cleaning and reading and searching for something to keep you busy. And you haven’t found anything.”

Harry shrugged and pulled his hand from Remus’ grasp. “I’ll settle on something. Do I annoy you or distract you or something?”

“Oh, you distract me alright.” Harry grinned at Remus’ slightly lecherous look, but Remus sobered quickly. “I just want you to be happy.”

“I am happy, Remus.”

Remus shook his head. “You’re not. You don’t have anything to do and you haven’t faced anything that needs to be done.”

Harry’s posture stiffened and he walked away. Remus let him go but turned to watch him.

“I don’t understand why it’s such a big deal.”

“I’ve explained it to you, Harry.”

“Explain it again. I just can’t understand --”

“They are your responsibility. They were entrusted to your care because Sirius and your parents thought that you would be able to administer what needed to be done to keep the properties safe.” Remus paused and watched Harry pace across the room. “I’m sure they also thought that you might actually like to live there.”

Harry whirled angrily and faced Remus. “Why would I want to live in either of those places?”

“I’m not suggesting that you live there,” Remus replied calmly. “I’m telling you that you need to go there and at least check the wards.”

“I don’t want anything to do with either of those places,” Harry repeated angrily.

“You’re going to have to face them eventually,” Remus answered calmly. “They are your responsibility and you are held accountable for anything that happens there.”

“They can just sit there and rot for all I care.”

“Magical property doesn’t work that way, Harry.”

“I don’t care! I don’t want to go there, I don’t want anything to do with them, and I don’t want to talk about them anymore.”

“That’s too bad, because we’re going to keep talking about them until you do something about them!”

“You can just sit here and talk about them all you want.” Harry stalked to the door and out onto the porch. “I’m not going to sit here and listen to it.”

Remus followed and cursed as Harry apparated away. He walked to the edge of the wards and apparated to the Weasley’s. Surprisingly, he arrived just in time to watch Harry stalk into the Burrow. Remus cursed again and followed him inside. He grinned when he heard Molly greeting Harry with some surprise and leaned in the doorway of the kitchen blatantly eavesdropping.

“Of course Ron’s not here, Harry. Yesterday was his first day of work, you know that.”

Harry scuffed his toe on the kitchen floor. “Oh. That’s right. I forgot. Could I….” Harry broke off as he looked up and saw Remus leaning in the doorway. “I’ll just stop by later.”

Molly followed Harry’s gaze and looked questioningly at Remus who nodded without taking his eyes off Harry. Molly’s eyes narrowed.

“Have you two had a fight again?”

“Yes,” Remus said softly.

“No,” Harry answered at the same time.

Molly frowned and grabbed Harry’s elbow. “Well, it makes no difference.” She dragged Harry with her to the doorway, grabbed Remus’ elbow with her other hand and dragged them both to the sitting room, pushing them down onto the sofa. She waved her wand at a chair and it obediently waddled over and settled across the tea table from Harry and Remus. Remus smirked at Harry before turning and smiling cheerily at Molly.

“Now, what happened?”

Harry crossed his arms and glared out the window. Molly frowned and turned to Remus.

“I’ve been trying to educate Harry on his duties in the adult wizarding world.” Remus looked at Harry, who refused to respond to Remus’ sardonic tone. “He has been particularly resistant to taking responsibility.”

“Stop talking about me like I’m a child,” Harry said softly through clenched teeth.

“Then stop acting like a child.”

“I’m not!”

“Of course you’re not. A child would never run away when he was losing an argument. A child would never choose to stay cooped up in a small house rather than take responsibility for….”

“They’re not my responsibility! I don’t want anything to do with them!”

“Whether you want anything to do with them or not does not change the fact that they are your responsibility!”

“I don’t care about them! I don’t --”

“That’s enough!” Remus and Harry turned to look at Molly who was glaring back at them. “You’re both acting like children.”

Remus sat back and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Remus, what is this about? You’ll get your turn, Harry James Potter. You keep your mouth shut for now.”

Harry closed his mouth with a snap and turned to stare out the window again.

Remus sighed and ran a hand through his hair before resting his hands on his thighs. “Harry received Lily and James’ and Sirius’ wills last year. They deeded him their property. I’ve been trying most of the summer to convince Harry that he needs to see to them.” Harry snorted; Remus continued after throwing a glare in his direction. “But he stubbornly refuses to even discuss the issue.”

Molly nodded and turned to Harry. “Harry? Do you have anything to say about this?”

Harry shrugged. “I don’t want them. I never did and I don’t want to go there.”

Remus gave Molly a pointed look at Harry’s stubborn reply.

“Did Remus explain about magical property and the ownership duties of adult wizards and witches?”

Harry shrugged again. Molly turned to Remus.

“I tried to explain, but I’m not sure that Harry was even listening to me.”

“I heard every word, ” Harry said harshly.

“Then why haven’t you done anything about it?” Molly asked softly.

“Because I don’t want to!”

Remus and Molly exchanged a glance. Molly nodded and Remus touched Harry’s shoulder softly.

“Why don’t you want to go there?”

“Because I don’t!” Harry shrugged Remus’ hand away and stood.

“Sit down right now,” Molly said without raising her voice. Harry sat. “Now answer Remus.”

Harry clenched his fists on his thighs, cast a desperate look at Remus and turned to look out the window again. Remus touched his shoulder gently. “Start easy. Why don’t you want to go to Grimmauld place?”

Harry relaxed slightly, though his fists were still tightly clenched. “I hate that place. I’ve hated it since I first stepped foot in it.”

“You never said anything,” Remus said softly, his hand curving around Harry’s shoulder.

Harry shrugged. “It was Sirius’ house. How could I tell him I hated being there? How could I say it after he was killed?”

“You wouldn’t have to stay there. Just go and check it.”

“I don’t….”

“I would go with you, Harry.” Harry turned and looked at Remus from beneath his fringe. Remus smiled. “Did you honestly think that I would make you go there alone?”

Harry shrugged and pulled Remus’ hand from his shoulder, lacing their fingers together. “I thought maybe you just wanted me out of your hair.”

Remus chuckled. “There is that. But I know you don’t want to go there.” He smiled bitterly. “I don’t even want to go there. But something needs to be done about it.”

Harry smiled and looked down at their clasped hands. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a berk.”

“That’s alright. I’ve gotten used to it.”

Harry looked at him sharply, but returned the grin he found on Remus’ face. “Git.”

Remus chuckled again and squeezed Harry’s hand before turning to Molly.

“Molly?” Remus frowned.

Molly stared at their clasped hands, an odd expression on her face.

“Molly, what’s wrong.”

Molly shook herself and looked up. “It’s nothing, Remus. How about some tea?” Molly rose quickly and went to the kitchen.

Harry and Remus glanced at each other. Harry rolled his eyes. Remus sighed and followed Molly.

“Can I help, Molly?”

Molly jumped lightly and turned to Remus with an overly bright smile before turning back to the tea preparations. “No, no need. I’ll just be a minute.”

Harry stepped up behind Remus and wrapped one arm around Remus’ shoulders, his other around Remus’ waist. Remus frowned at Harry and tried to step away, but Harry held him still and rested his chin on Remus’ shoulder. They stood and watched Molly fuss at the stove and counter, piling tea onto a tray. Remus palmed his wand and, as Molly turned, waved it toward the plummeting tray. The tray froze in mid air before floating over to the table.

Harry chuckled in Remus’ ear. “I knew it.” Harry stepped back and brushed past him into the kitchen. “So what is it this time? Upset because Remus is a werewolf?”

Remus frowned, smacked Harry on the arm, and pulled out a chair at the table. “Molly?”

Molly smiled awkwardly and slid into the chair that Remus held for her. Harry and Remus sat beside each other across from her. Harry slouched down in his chair and crossed his arms. “So what’s wrong?”

Remus frowned at Harry’s tone and leaned forward, resting his forearms on the table. “Molly, do you have a problem with Harry and I?”

Harry snorted and Remus threw him a warning look.

Molly sighed and poured tea. “Remus, you know that I hold you in the highest regard.”

“Here it comes,” Harry said under his breath.

Molly frowned at him and continued. “And I love Harry as if he were one of my own boys. But….”

“But what, Molly?” Harry opened his mouth, but Remus grabbed his hand and squeezed tightly. Harry shut his mouth. “But I’m a werewolf?”

Molly’s eyes widened. “Don’t be ridiculous.” Harry sat up straight in his chair. “You have such a difficult life, Remus, but I know you would never hurt anyone, especially Harry. It’s just that….”

“What? We’re both men?” Harry asked.

“Well, of course not. My Percy has been dating Oliver Wood for the past year, and they are both very happy.” She smiled brightly. “I’m so pleased that Percy has settled down a bit. I was so worried about him, especially after that awful falling out and he seemed to flit from boy to boy to boy. But now he’s settled down, and has brought Oliver along with him to family dinners and they are both so good for each other.” Molly wiped a tear from her eye. “Percy is so much calmer and easy going now. He actually took a vacation with Oliver last spring. It’s the first vacation he’s had since he started at the ministry.”

Harry and Remus exchanged a curious look. “Then why are you so upset about me and Remus?” Harry asked.

“Oh, Harry, it’s just that you’re so young. And Remus is….” She broke off suddenly and looked away.

“Old enough to be his father.” Remus finished softly.

Molly grimaced. “Yes.” She took a sip of tea. “I knew that you two had formed a connection before Harry’s sixth year. I was there in the hospital after You-Know-Who was killed, and I saw how Harry clung to you. I suspected then that he had a – crush, I guess – and I knew that you held him in great affection. But I had no idea.” She paused and took another sip of tea. “Or perhaps it’s that I didn’t want to know.”

“Mrs. Weasley, Remus never took advantage of me.”

Molly blushed. “Oh, I’m sure he didn’t. But….”

“I practically had to stupefy him before he would even kiss me,” Harry continued.

Molly’s blush intensified. “Yes, well, be that as it may….”

“He didn’t even --”

“That’s enough, Harry.” Remus interrupted and squeezed his hand tightly before turning to Molly. “Harry and I were bound to each other shortly after he was born.” Molly started, but Remus continued before she could interrupt. “James knew about the bond. As did Dumbledore. I promised James before they went into hiding that I wouldn’t hurt Harry, that I wouldn’t force him to do anything until we were both ready.”

“Well, that’s nice, Remus, but --”

“I promised James.” Remus interrupted, almost angrily. “I love Harry. I’ve always loved him. All I ever wanted was to keep him safe. That’s all I still want.”

“Yes, Remus, I know….”

“Mrs. Weasley, what is the real reason that you’re so upset?” Harry shrewdly asked.

Molly fussed with the tea cup sitting in front of her. “I’m not sure I know what you mean, Harry.”

Harry growled softly. “You said it wasn’t because Remus is a werewolf. You said it wasn’t because we’re both men. The age difference between me and Remus isn’t that great, given that we’re both wizards. You sound like you’re just making up excuses. What’s the real problem?”

Molly laid her hands in her lap. “Oh, Harry. I see how you look at Remus, and I see how Remus looks at you. I know you love each other and would never do anything to hurt each other.” Harry and Remus exchanged a confused look. “But Remus is a werewolf….”

“You said that wasn’t a problem.” Harry said bitterly.

“It’s not that he’s a werewolf. Well, it is, but not what you think. The transformation is so difficult on Remus. He’s aged beyond his years, and he is so much older than you.” Molly reached across the table for Harry’s hand, clasping it tightly. “You’ve become so dependent on him. He is your one stable link in this world. You come here when you are upset with Remus, but we can’t help you here, and you never stay here long and you’re never at peace here. You’re only at peace when you’re with Remus. And Remus is the same. He was frantic last month when he couldn’t find you and I couldn’t help but realize that the look in his eyes at not being able to find you was the same look that I saw so often in Sirius’ eyes when he was trapped at Grimmauld Place. Your dependence on each other is what concerns me so. I hate to think what might happen to either one of you if the other was hurt or killed.”

Harry pulled his hand from Molly’s grasp. “Nothing is going to happen to us.”

“Harry, there are still many Death Eaters who are after you,” Molly continued. “And Remus’ transformation is not easy on him. He is a target for Death Eaters, as well.”

“Molly, we appreciate your concern.” Remus glanced at Harry. “I even share some of them. But we can take care of ourselves and each other.”

“Yes, Remus, I know that,” Molly said softly.

Remus smiled. “Please don’t worry about us. We’ve taken precautions at our home and we are aware of the dangers whenever we go out into public.”

Molly smiled sadly. “I’m sure you have, Remus. But I worry about those I love, no matter how competent they think they are.”

“Mrs. Weasley --”

Molly chuckled and stood, collecting the tea and placing it back on the tray. “Don’t bother trying to change my mind, Harry Potter. I’ll worry about you the rest of your lives and there’s nothing you can do to stop me. Now, are you two staying for dinner? Or are you going to go home and work through your problems?”

Molly stood, her hands on her hips, and stared down at Remus and Harry. They glanced at each other before standing and making their good-byes. Molly followed them to the door.

“I’ll expect you both for Sunday lunch. That is if you’re recovered from the full moon, Remus. If not, I’ll expect you for Monday supper.”

Remus smiled and pressed a kiss to Molly’s cheek. “I’m sure I’ll be fine on Sunday. We’ll send an owl if I’m not.”

Molly patted his arm. “I’ll look for Hedwig. You two go home and talk. I don’t want to see either of you in a huff again. You need to work things out on your own and stop running from your problems.” Molly glared at Harry.

Harry blushed. “I’ll try, Mrs. Weasley.”

Molly touched Harry’s shoulder. “Just remember that Remus loves you and wants to help you. Everything will be fine, dear.”

Harry kissed her cheek. “I know, Mrs. Weasley. Thank you. Tell Ron I’ll stop by after the full moon.”

Mrs. Weasley nodded, smiled, and waved as they stepped into the yard and apparated home.

****

“Do you think she’s right?”

Remus cringed and finished swallowing the Wolfsbane Potion before turning to Harry. “What? Who’s right?”

Harry handed Remus a cup of tea. “Do you think Mrs. Weasley is right about us? Being too dependent on each other, I mean.”

Remus sipped his tea and nibbled on the biscuit that Harry had brought along to cut the taste of the Wolfsbane Potion. “I don’t know how we present ourselves to others. The last few times we’ve seen Molly were when we were fighting. We were both upset. No one sees us when we’re not upset.” Remus paused. “It’s possible that we present ourselves as foolishly over dependent on each other. I don’t think that’s true. We are both very independent. But we are also bonded to each other, and have only recently entered into our physical relationship.” Remus laughed softly when Harry blushed. “Every married couple fights. I’m sure Molly and Arthur had some terrible rows when they were first married, but they don’t seem dependent on each other.”

“So we’re married now?” Harry asked sardonically.

Remus laughed. “As good as, at least.”

Harry sighed. “And I didn’t even get an engagement ring.” He brushed a false tear away from the corner of his eye.

Remus set his tea aside and pulled Harry down on the sofa on top of him. “I’ll give you a ring, you little git.” Remus proceeded to wrap his arms and legs around Harry, holding him still, while he whispered in his ear until Harry was flushed and laughing helplessly against him and Remus was smiling.

****  
Once again, Harry paced nervously through the kitchen, waiting impatiently for Remus to give the signal so Harry could let him out. Harry glanced at his watch and then turned to the door to the cellar in surprise when Remus gave the signal. He opened the door and ran his hand through Remus’ fur as Remus brushed past him.

“That didn’t take long. Feeling alright?” Remus nodded as much as it was possible for a wolf to nod and barked softly. Harry smiled and led the way to the door, opening it and settling on the porch to watch Remus race around the lawn. Remus returned to Harry and pulled on his sleeve, trying to coax Harry into the forest with him. Harry shook his head. “You go ahead. I’ll wait here for you.” Remus cocked his head and eyed Harry carefully before turning and racing into the wood. “Be back before it starts raining!” Harry yelled after him and laughed at Remus’ bark. Only a few minutes later, Remus came running back into the clearing. Harry stood, clenching his wand in his fist, but laughed when Remus jumped onto the porch just before the rain came pouring down. Remus growled playfully at Harry’s laughter, but lay down contentedly at Harry’s side as they watched the rain fall.

“I suppose I don’t have to explain to you why I don’t want to Godric’s Hollow.” Remus snuffled and Harry smiled. “I am sorry I’ve been so difficult about this, but I just don’t want to go there. The thought of seeing it….” Remus laid his head on Harry’s thigh. Harry wrapped his hand in the thick fur on Remus’ neck. “I still dream about what happened.” Harry smiled ruefully. “I don’t remember, but I dream about what I hear when the dementors get too close. The last thing I want is to see that. I know I won’t, but – I can imagine what happened. I can see it in my mind. Going there, seeing the house -- it’ll be too real.” Harry fell silent and they watched the rain. “You understand. I know you do. You don’t want to see where they died either.” Harry laughed bitterly. “And it doesn’t even mean anything. Not really.” Remus lifted his head and growled softly at Harry. “I don’t mean their deaths, or their sacrifice to save me. I mean the hiding. Trying to keep me safe. It didn’t make any difference.” Remus snuffled and laid his head back on Harry’s thigh. Harry sighed. “I wish none of that had ever happened.” Harry laughed bitterly and was quiet for a while. “You’ll go with me right?” Remus lifted his head and watched Harry. “So we’ll go there next week.” Remus shuffled forward and pressed his nose against Harry’s throat. Harry wrapped his arms around Remus’ neck and pressed his nose into Remus’ fur. “Next week is soon enough.”


	25. Chapter Twenty-Five

Remus watched Harry pace nervously in front of the fireplace. There was no reason for Harry to be this nervous, but every time Remus had tried to get Harry to calm down, he had only brushed Remus’ help aside and appeared more anxious. Remus finally just settled into a chair near the fireplace and watched Harry work through his nervous energy. He had announced, as soon as they had returned from the Wealsey’s three nights ago, that they would go to Grimmauld place the next day. They had, and everything had gone well. Kreacher had been gone for over a year; the library had been emptied when Remus had left after Harry returned for his sixth year. Remus had followed Harry as he wandered through the house and looked through the few things that Sirius had left. They had replenished the wards and added their magical signature to the ones in place and had left it till next year. They had only spent a few hours there and had spent the rest of the day in bed giving and receiving comfort from each other. Remus waited and watched Harry grow increasing nervous before Harry had announced that they should go to Godric’s Hollow on Friday morning. Remus had awakened Harry several times during the next two nights from nightmares. And now he was watching Harry screw up his courage to return to the scene of his parents’ murder.

Remus watched as Harry finally stopped his pacing and stood still, staring into the empty fireplace. He nodded to himself and turned to Remus.

“Are you ready?”

Remus smiled and stood. “Whenever you are.”

Harry nodded and walked toward the door, stopped, turned and clung to Remus for a few minutes. Remus held him close, not saying anything, but holding him tight until Harry stopped trembling in his arms. He held Harry still when he tried to pull away. “I’ll be right beside you.” Harry nodded and they left.

****  
Harry clutched Remus’ hand tightly as they walked up to the house. He stopped before they stepped onto the walk and stared at the house.

“I expected it to be in worse shape.”

Remus squeezed Harry’s hand and looked at the house. The door had been repaired, but the windows on either side were boarded up. The roof was intact, but Remus could see hints of magical reinforcement across the roof.

“It’s probably worse inside.”

Harry nodded. He took a deep breath and stepped through the wards, pulling Remus with him. They both staggered and paused, panting, before they continued up the walk.

“What was that?”

“I’m not sure.” Remus ran his hand through his hair and shivered. The hair on his arms was standing on end. “Dumbledore must have put some pretty strong wards up.”

“But they let us in.”

Remus nodded. “But this house belongs to you now. They wouldn’t be able to keep you out.”

Harry nodded and dropped Remus’ hand. Remus followed him up the walk and stood close behind him as he stared at the door. While the door was intact and in place, there were scorch marks and gouges across the surface. Harry opened the door slowly. Remus touched his shoulder and Harry stepped inside. A table that had stood near the door lay in pieces just inside. Harry and Remus stared at the splintered table, knowing instinctively that it had broken under James as he fell. The tiled floor was dirty and littered with leaves. There were several black marks along the floor and walls. The door to the front room rested crookedly across the doorway, torn off one of its hinges. The room beyond was dusty and an air of neglect hovered over the comfortable furniture. A few small children’s toys still lay scattered across the floor.

“Do you think it’s safe to go upstairs?”

Remus shrugged. “Probably. There might be more… debris… up there than there is down there.”

Harry nodded and reached back for Remus’ hand. Remus squeezed gently and followed Harry up the stairs.

The banister had broken in several places, and wobbled alarmingly when Remus rested a hand on it, but the stairs themselves were intact. The upper floor looked as if a whirlwind had blown through. The doors off the main corridor had been blown off their hinges, some had splintered, some lay just beyond the doorway. Pictures were blown off the walls; a small table had been broken into several large pieces. Harry turned to the room at the end of the hall. Through the door, Remus could glimpse brightly painted walls scorched with curse marks. A pattern of scorch marks marred the walls just outside the door as well. Harry stepped through the door.

“That is where he stood.”

Remus followed Harry inside. There was an oval on the floor surrounded by scorch marks radiating back from it. Harry stepped forward and stood in the bare area.

“I was there.”

Remus frowned. “Do you remember?”

Harry shook his head. “Come and look.”

Remus stepped forward and Harry stepped away, guiding Remus to stand in the oval. Just inside a small closet, several pillows and toys lay in an untidy heap. The doors were gone, but small clothes still hung on hangers inside. The pillows and toys were piled about with just enough room for a toddler to sit or lay down. Remus nodded and turned to Harry. Harry was staring at the wall by the door. There was a void in the curse marks just the size of a body on the floor.

“That’s where he killed her. She was standing behind the door.”

Remus nodded and reached for Harry’s shoulder, but Harry stepped away, closer to the void on the floor.

“There’s no blood.”

“Avada Kedavra kills without spilling blood.”

Harry nodded. “Do you think he hexed her or something before he killed her?”

“I don’t know. She probably tried to fight him. He might have.”

“Do you think he used Cruciatus?”

“Harry….”

“Maybe he tried Imerpius. I can resist Imperius, did you know?” Remus nodded, but Harry didn’t notice. “When the dementors are near I can hear her trying to protect me. I can also hear him telling her to get out of the way.” Harry turned and looked around the room again. “Maybe she was standing in front of the closet and walked up to him. My dad fought him. He said…Voldemort said he did. He fought bravely. With honor.” Harry turned and looked at Remus. “Where are they?”

“What?” Remus frowned.

“Where are they buried? Were they buried?”

“You’ve never been?”

Harry shook his head and shrugged. “I never asked. There was no one to ask and then, well, I never thought of that. Do you know where they are?”

Remus nodded. “Yes. I was at their funerals. I never thought to ask or to tell you.”

Harry smiled sadly. “It’s okay. We’ve been kind of busy.” He glanced around the room again. “Will you take me someday?”

“Of course I will. Whenever you’re ready.”

Harry nodded and left the room and entered another down the hall. “This was their room.”

Remus stepped inside. The room was dusty, but intact, except the corner where the ceiling sagged a bit. A large four poster bed stood against one wall, the bed clothes straight and neat and folded back for the night. A book sat on one of the nightstands and a glass of water and another book sat on the other. “It looks like they were getting ready for bed.” A pair of shoes rested under a wingback chair, a robe thrown carelessly over the back. Harry walked forward and opened the wardrobe. Clothes hung neatly inside: bright colorful robes on one side, black robes on the other. Harry frowned and pulled a black robe off a hanger. He turned to Remus.

“James wore mostly black.” He stepped forward and touched the sleeve of a dark blue robe. “Your mother was trying to get him to wear a few more colors.” Remus smiled and touched a light green robe. “Your mother never wore black. As soon as she left Hogwarts we never saw her wearing anything but bright colors.”

Harry smiled and rehung the black robe and shut the doors. Turning, he walked to a dresser standing beside the door. He opened a drawer and smiled.

“They settled in pretty quick.”

“Yes.”

Harry shut the door and stepped out of the room. He wandered in and out of the rooms on the upper floor, offering no comments, and Remus was loath to break the silence. They walked carefully down the stairs and, after pushing and pulling the broken door into the hallway, entered the front room. Harry ran his fingers along the back of the sofa, grimacing at the dust there and picked up a stuffed hippogriff. He tugged on one of the wings, smiling, and set it down on the sofa. The kitchen was straight and neat, dishtowels folded and lying beside a sink, a dishrag hung over the faucet. Harry walked to the back door, but the porch roof had caved in and blocked the door completely. He walked over to the pantry and a quiet lumos lit the dark room. Harry grimaced at moldy bread and vegetables and banished them with a quick wave of his wand. Harry jerked the refrigerator door open and Remus and Harry both recoiled at the terrible odor.

“I guess no one thought to clean out the kitchen.” Harry waved his wand again and the rotten mess in the refrigerator disappeared. He turned to Remus with watering eyes. “What do we do to get rid of the smell?”

Remus grimaced and waved his wand. The smell disappeared. “De-odorizing charm. You didn’t learn that at Hogwarts?”

Harry shrugged and closed the refrigerator. “Probably. I don’t remember everything I learned.”

Remus smiled and Harry touched his chest with his fingertips before brushing by him and into the dining room. The small table was dusty, and the hutch against the wall was empty. The study at the front of the house was lined with bookcases; the bookcases were only partially filled with books. Parchment covered a library table in front of the boarded up window. A quill had been left lying on the table, a dried ink stain spreading from the parchment onto the table. “I wonder….”

Harry and Remus froze and gasped as strong magic swept over them.

“What the hell was that?”

Remus shook his head and leaned against the table. “I’m not sure. It felt like the wards went down but….” Remus looked over at Harry. A movement from the hall caught his attention. “Harry! Get down!” Remus pushed Harry away and cursed as he felt the effects of the spell aimed at Harry hit him. He fell to the floor, screaming, as Cruciatus swept over him. The pain receded and, dimly, he was aware of Harry shouting and pulling him under the table.

“Stay here.”

Remus gripped his wand and cursed silently as Harry darted from underneath the table back into the dining room. He heard muffled footsteps and peaked out into the hall. Whoever had thrown the curse had gone after Harry. He crawled from under the table and walked cautiously to the door. He heard shouts from the kitchen and fought the urge to race after Harry. He needed to know how many were here. He peeked into the hallway and drew his head back quickly as a spell sizzled past his ear. He smiled grimly when he recognized the voice. He darted into the hallway, dodging the second spell and cast Petrificus Totalus before Pettigrew could mark his position. He heard the scuff of a shoe on the floor behind him and turned, a spell on his lips dying when he saw Harry.

“Crabbe is stupefied in the kitchen. How many are here?”

“I don’t know, but if the wards are down they can apparate in. I wonder why they didn’t?”

“Maybe they didn’t know.” A muffled thud from upstairs drew their gaze. “Or maybe they did.”

Remus grimaced. They would have to separate if they wanted to find out how many were here. “Stay here, I’ll check upstairs.” Remus stepped forward but was yanked back against the wall.

“Like hell you’ll go upstairs. They’re after me. I’m going up there and you’re going to stay here and watch the front door.”

Remus yanked Harry back before he could start up the stairs. “We don’t know how many are up there. There’s no one down here now and I’m not about to let you go gallivanting around upstairs alone.”

“Well I’m not about to stand here and let you put yourself in danger.” Harry stepped forward but Remus pulled him back again.

“Just wait.”

“What are we supposed to wait for? No one knows we’re here except some Death Eaters, apparently.”

“Will you just wait? We’ll secure the first floor first; make sure no one else can get in behind us. Then we’ll both go upstairs.”

“And just how do you….”

“I’m not at all surprised to find two foolhardy Gryffindor’s arguing about who should protect whom.”

Remus and Harry turned at Draco Malfoy’s drawled words.

“Hello, Malfoy. Fancy meeting you here.”

Malfoy smirked. “You shouldn’t sound so surprised, Potter. Did you really think I’d let you get away with what you did to my father.”

Harry stepped away from Remus, his wand trained on Malfoy, and laughed. “I didn’t do anything to your father, Malfoy. I simply destroyed his master. Is it my fault that your father couldn’t choose the winning side?”

Malfoy’s face twisted into a snarl. “You’re going to pay for everything you did to me and my father over the years, Potter.”

Harry shook his head. “I always knew you were an idiot, Malfoy, but I thought that even you had more sense than to try and come after me after I killed Voldemort.”

Remus stepped to the other side of the front room and glanced outside. The hallway was clear.

“Don’t move, werewolf.” Remus froze and turned to Malfoy. Malfoy waved him into the room. “Get away from the door.” Remus stepped inside.

“You can’t take on both of us,” Remus said calmly.

“I don’t have to. You think I’m the only one here.”

“You’re the only one I see,” Harry said. “Crabbe is bound in the kitchen.”

“Wormtail is petrified in the hall.”

Malfoy’s face twisted into an angry smile. “It doesn’t matter. The others will be here soon.”

“And which others would those be, Mr. Malfoy?”

Malfoy turned suddenly and faced Snape, his wand held loosely by his side. Harry and Remus didn’t move.

Malfoy smirked. “I’m glad you could make it, sir.”

Snape smiled and Remus shivered slightly. “Believe me, Mr. Malfoy, I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

“Neither would I, Mr. Malfoy.”

Remus smiled as Malfoy’s expression froze and he turned to face Dumbledore in the kitchen doorway behind him. Malfoy turned back to Snape. As he raised his wand, Harry, Remus, and Dumbledore cast expelliarmus. Malfoy’s wand flew across the room; Malfoy himself flew into the wall behind him and slumped down to the floor, unconscious. Despite the fact that all three had disarmed him as soon as they realized what he was going to do, Malfoy had still been able to curse Snape. Dumbledore rushed over and knelt by Snape’s side, but spoke to Remus and Harry as he checked Snape’s condition.

“Mr. Goyle and Mr. Finnigan are bound upstairs. As soon as Severus reported to me, I called Kingsley. He should be here soon. Remus, would you be so kind as to bring Mr. Pettigrew and Mr. Crabbe in to the front room. Harry, please bring Mr. Goyle and Mr. Finnigan down as well.”

Remus touched Harry’s arm before hurrying to comply. He smiled as he returned, Pettigrew and Crabbe floating in front of him, when he heard Snape growling at Dumbledore that he was fine and to leave him alone.

“I’m sure you are fine, Severus, but allow an old man to show a little concern once in a while. I must say that I’m much impressed with Mr. Malfoy’s abilities.” Dumbledore glanced at Remus as he returned. “Remus, would you please bind Mr. Malfoy as well.”

Remus nodded and stepped aside as Harry returned trailing Seamus and Goyle. Remus bound Malfoy and laid him beside his glaring comrades and turned to Harry, who stared sadly at Seamus. They both stepped back as Dumbledore, assisting Snape, stepped forward and settled Snape on the sofa. Snape snapped at Dumbledore and smacked the hand grasping his arm, but obediently sat on the sofa and leaned his head back, closing his eyes.

“Thank you, Harry, Remus.” Dumbledore twitched his wand and the ropes binding Seamus disappeared. “Mr. Finnegan, perhaps you would care to explain what occurred here this afternoon.” Dumbledore pointed at a chair perpendicular to the sofa. Seamus clambered to his feet and sat obediently.

Seamus opened his mouth and glanced at Harry before staring down at his feet. “I’m sorry, Sir. I don’t know what to say, really.”

“I trusted you, Seamus. I thought we were friends,” Harry said coldly.

Seamus’ head jerked up. “We are friends, Harry. I never meant… I didn’t realize….”

“You never imagined that you couldn’t trust Malfoy?” Harry asked heatedly.

Seamus frowned. “You were the one that encouraged him.”

“I didn’t encourage you to turn a blind eye to his past. I told you to be careful.”

“I was careful!”

“Obviously not careful enough!”

“Boys, that’s enough.” Dumbledore spoke softly, but Seamus and Harry both quieted. Harry turned his back on the room and stood by Remus, staring at the boarded up window. “Tell me what you know about Mr. Malfoy’s plans.”

“I don’t know much.”

Dumbledore smiled. “Just tell me what you do know.”

“I didn’t realize…. I’m so sorry. I thought he was just interested in me.” Seamus looked up sharply at Snape’s snort.

“Severus, please,” Dumbledore chided.

“It never fails,” Snape said snidely. “Gryffindors are so gullible.”

“Not now, Severus. Please continue, Mr. Finnegan.”

Seamus sighed. “He kept asking questions about my friends, never just about Harry. He wanted to know where he lived, about his parents. But he asked what I knew about everyone’s families” Seamus looked earnestly at Dumbledore. “He asked about everyone, not just Harry. If I had had any idea of what he was planning, I would never have told him. I would have stopped him.”

Dumbledore smiled. “I’m sure you would have.” He looked up suddenly. “Ah, Kinglsey and Tonks. Thank you for coming so quickly. I hope you don’t mind if I question Mr. Finnegan before you take him and the others away?”

“Feel free, Headmaster. I’ll just listen in for a while.” Kingsley leaned against the door. Tonks waved merrily at Remus and Harry, but also remained in the entrance hall.

Dumbledore turned back to Seamus. “Tell me what happened this afternoon, Mr. Finnegan.”

Seamus swallowed, glanced at the aurors, but turned quickly to Dumbledore. “I’m not sure what happened. We were, um, together, and then he just got quiet and still and then smiled. He rushed to the fireplace and called Crabbe and told him to contact the others.”

“What others?” Dumbledore asked sharply.

Seamus shook his head. “I don’t know. He just said the others.”

“Very well. What else happened?”

“We, um, we left, really quickly, and came here. I didn’t know what this place was. He had a portkey and we came right here. We were outside and Crabbe and Goyle and the other man showed up. I don’t know who he is.”

“That’s alright, Mr. Finnegan. I know who he is.”

Seamus nodded. “Malfoy and the other man brought the wards down. Malfoy told me to apparate inside, upstairs. He told me to stay quiet and wait for him. I did, I don’t know why, but…. And then you and Snape came.”

Dumbledore smiled and stood, motioning Kingsley into the room. “Thank you, Mr. Finnegan.”

“Sir, what’s going to happen to me?”

“I’m not sure, Mr. Finnegan. You were subdued before any action was taken against Mr. Potter or Professor Lupin, but you were present. Is there anyone I can contact for you?”

Seamus shook his head. Kingsley pulled him to his feet and began pulling him out of the room. Harry stepped forward.

“Seamus, I’m sorry. I’ll – I’ll come and see you, testify for you or something. I know you didn’t have anything to do with this, and I….” Harry broke off and shrugged.

Seamus smiled. “Thanks, Harry. If I had known….”

Harry nodded. “I know.”

Another man walked in carrying a small bag which he handed to Kingsley. “The perimeter is clear. If there were anymore Death Eaters here, they’ve gone now.”

Kingsley nodded. “Thank you, Giles. Take Crabbe and Goyle outside. Tonks, take Malfoy, I’ll take Pettigrew. We’ll portkey off your property, Mr. Potter. I’m sorry that this has happened. You’ll need to get your wards back up quickly. Do you need any assistance?”

Harry glanced at Dumbledore and shook his head. “I’ll be fine, Kingsley, thank you.”

Kingsley nodded and followed Giles out of the room, guiding Seamus who looked back and nodded at Harry. Tonks pulled an enervaterated Malfoy to his feet.

“This isn’t over, Potter. If it’s the last thing I do….” Draco snarled, but was cut off by Harry.

“Blah, blah, blah. It’s the same threat you’ve used since I’ve met you, Malfoy. You’ve never beaten me and you never will. Get over it.”

Malfoy bared his teeth at Harry and turned to Snape, pulling against Tonks grip on him to stay in the room. “Traitor. You’ll regret this, Snape. You never should have turned --”

“Oh, do shut up, Draco. You are so tiresome.” Snape drawled from the sofa, never lifting his head, but opened his eyes to smirk at Malfoy as he was led out.

The four men listened as Malfoy cursed and scuffled and tried to get away from Tonks, but eventually the sounds stopped and Remus knew they had portkeyed to the ministry. Remus watched as Dumbledore turned to Snape, settling beside him.

“Severus, how do you feel?”

“Just fine, Headmaster. Why do you ask?”

Harry stepped forward. “What curse did Malfoy use?”

Dumbledore sighed and looked up. “It’s a rather obscure one, but potentially fatal. The curse targets the victim’s heart. The muscle begins to degrade and severe damage can be caused if the curse is not ended immediately. It is also quite painful.” Dumbledore turned back to Snape. “Thankfully, both of your reflexes are quick and very little damage was caused. Although Severus should see a healer.”

“I’m fine, Headmaster. A little rest and a quiet night’s sleep should be adequate.”

“I believe that a trip to St. Mungo’s is in order, Severus,” Dumbledore said smoothly.

“I refuse to be pawed at by some quack of a healer,” Snape snorted.

“The healers at St. Mungo’s are hardly quacks, Severus. It’s either St. Mungo’s or I leave you to Poppy’s tender mercies,” Dumbledore continued soothingly.

“Neither is necessary, Headmaster. A bit of Heart Healing Potion and I’ll be just fine.”

“Severus,” Dumbledore’s voice was low and firm.

Snape sighed. “Very well, I’ll suffer myself to be led to St. Mungo’s.”

Dumbledore smiled and patted his hand. “Thank you, Severus. Your cooperation will do a great deal for my peace of mind.” Dumbledore stood and turned to Harry and Remus, the twinkle in his eye dimming slightly and a sad expression crossing his face briefly. “Well, gentlemen, we’ll leave you in peace now.”

Harry stepped forward. “Sir, I… thank you. For coming today.” Harry glanced back at Remus.

Dumbledore smiled. “My dear boy, I know that the past year has been strained between us, but I have always held you, and Remus, in high esteem.”

“I-I know, sir.” Harry glanced at Remus again. “I’m sorry for what happened.”

“As am I, Harry. You must remember that I am an old man and set in my ways.” Dumbledore chuckled and turned to look at Snape. “Despite the fact that I work in a school, I often find that my knowledge of the world is not as up to date as it should be.”

Remus smiled and stepped up beside Harry. “You’re not alone in that regard, Albus. Much of the wizarding world is mired in the past.”

“Very true, Remus.” Dumbledore helped Snape stand and held him firmly, though Snape growled and glared at him. “And now, gentlemen, I will take Severus to St. Mungo’s. I’ve no doubt you will be contacted shortly regarding the incident today, and I will be available to offer any witness or assistance that you need.” Dumbledore pulled a tin of candy from his pocket and held his wand over it.

Harry stepped forward again. “Sir, before you leave….” Harry paused and Dumbledore and Snape watched him carefully. “I just… I wanted to thank you for keeping the wards up here for so long. I don’t….” Harry bit his lip and looked helplessly at Remus. Remus smiled, but held his peace. Harry looked back at Dumbledore. “Thank you. For everything. I know it can’t have been easy, but I do understand why you did some things, and I don’t blame you. Not anymore.”

Dumbledore blinked and smiled. “Thank you, Harry. That means a great deal.”

Harry nodded and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Albus, I wonder if you could return in a few days to help Harry and I with the wards.” Dumbledore looked at Remus in surprise, but Harry made no objection and Remus continued. “We’ll put up a few wards today, but I think your touch would help protect this place better than Harry or I could do alone.”

Dumbledore nodded and his wand trembled slightly in his hand. “My dear boys, it would be an honor to assist you.” He smiled and blinked again, before turning the candy tin into a port key. “Severus, I will follow immediately. Do try not to upset the staff at St. Mungo’s before I arrive.”

Snape snorted but took the tin. In a few moments, both wizards were gone.

Harry smiled and turned away, looking around the room. “He’s always been there to save me.”

Remus smiled, but didn’t say anything. Harry grinned at him from beneath his fringe and wandered across the hallway into the study again. Remus stood back and watched as he browsed the book cases lining one wall in the room, only half filled, but Harry examined the titles carefully. Finally he turned to Remus again. “Do you think they – we – were happy here?”

“Lily and James would have been happy anywhere, so long as they were together. And they loved you very much.” Remus glanced around and smiled when he spied a child’s book underneath a wingback chair in front of the fireplace. “I have no doubt that you were all very happy here.”

Remus turned when he felt Harry lean against him and wrapped an arm around Harry’s shoulders. “Probably missed someone pretty important, though.”

Remus smiled. “I like to think so.”

Harry grinned and pulled away from Remus to wander around the room again. “This really is a great house. Needs to be cleaned and fixed a bit, but it feels good here.” Harry frowned and turned to Remus. “I didn’t expect that. I thought it would feel – I don’t know – dirty, evil, like Grimmauld Place. But it doesn’t.”

“That’s because your parents were good people. And what happened here wasn’t an evil thing. Voldemort was destroyed because of your mother’s love for you. And love can never be evil.”

Harry smiled and wandered back to the dining room and into the kitchen. He glanced around at the empty counter before he looked out onto the dilapidated porch “It wouldn’t take much to fix it up.”

“Probably not.”

Harry reached out and took Remus’ hand. “We could come here, sometimes. Maybe when people wanted to visit. Keep the cottage just for us and this place for company.”

“If you wanted to,” Remus replied softly.

Harry leaned his head against Remus’ shoulder. “I just think they would be… glad. If someone who was happy stayed here sometimes.”

“You’re probably right.”

Harry smiled and pressed a kiss to his jaw. “I guess we should start on those wards.”

Remus hummed his agreement, but neither moved.

“Do you think it would be all right to have Professor Dumbledore over sometimes?”

Remus smiled. “I think he’d like that.” He pulled back from Harry a bit and tilted his face up. “Would you?”

Harry nodded and absently traced circles around Remus’ knuckles. “He seems better now. More relaxed. Like he was before the second war started. And he said he would like to help put up some wards.”

“Yes, he did.”

Harry stood up and stepped away from Remus. “It’ll give me something to do while you work on your book.” He glanced around the kitchen and then turned to face Remus. “I want to live here, Remus. At least part of the time. I feel like I should have been living here all along.”

“Because you should have been.” Remus smiled and tugged gently on Harry’s hand. “Come on. Let’s get those wards up.”

Harry smiled and allowed himself to be tugged outside.

****

Epilogue

Remus smiled at the sound of laughter coming from the dining room. He easily recognized Harry’s and Albus’ laughter, and could picture a small smile crossing Severus’ face. It had been an interesting year. The trial of Peter Pettigrew and Draco Malfoy in late autumn had been the one dismal point to the year. Pettigrew had received the Dementor’s Kiss; Malfoy had been given a cell in Azkaban next to his father for the next three years. Harry had spoken for Seamus Finnegan at his trial, but despite Harry’s word had spent six months in Azkaban for his part in the attempt on Harry’s life.

Albus had assisted with the wards, as he had promised, and there had been no further incidents at the house. The wards allowed only a select few to know where the house was, and only those that Harry or Remus invited were allowed into the house at all. Harry had spent the autumn and spring repairing the house at Godric’s Hollow. Remus had joined him occasionally, and they had even spent a few days here at Christmas having invited the Weasley’s to spend Christmas Eve with them. They had moved in properly the week before Harry’s nineteenth birthday, planning to return to the cottage for a month in October, neither wanting to be in the house on the anniversary of James’ and Lily’s death.

Remus lifted the tray of coffee and cake and went back to the dining room. “What’s so funny in here?”

Harry smiled and leaned back in his chair. “Severus was just telling me about Christmas at Hogwarts during your fourth year.”

Remus sat and began handing out coffee. “I thought I warned you never to speak of that Christmas, Severus.”

Severus smirked and accepted the coffee Remus handed him. “Come now, Lupin. It hardly seems fair that Potter knows hardly anything about your school boy exploits while you know so much about his.”

Remus bared his teeth in a harsh smile and leaned back in his chair. Dumbledore and Harry smiled across at each other and ignored the brief interaction between the other two, choosing instead to speak of neutral subjects for the time being. Severus soon joined in, but Remus sat back and let the conversation wash over him. He glanced around the table and smiled.

 _End. Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it._


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